June 12, 2023
Nature is a constant teacher. So many of the natural things that occur in our lives and in our relationships are mirrored in the animal kingdom. I find that the symbiosis that occurs between species is a great analog for marriage.
Read ArticleTags: Community
September 20, 2021
Earlier this month, Alison and I marked our ninth wedding anniversary. In years past, I’d take the opportunity to write a post sharing some new thing that I’d learned. As the date came and went this year, I struggled to write this post.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
June 14, 2021
Alison and I will celebrate our nine-year anniversary this fall. It’s been a very full and busy nine years. In fact, many of the plans that we set for ourselves way back then are just now coming to fruition. As the light at the end of the tunnel comes into view, we’re sprinting to the finish.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
May 31, 2021
I’ve been out of school for more than a decade. Alison and I have four kids, own our home, and educate our children. We live far away from our families, so it’s just the six of us. While I’m still a young man, I’m a young man with grown-up responsibilities.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
August 31, 2020
It’s been a very fast eight years since Alison and I met at the altar and committed ourselves to one another. Each year on this blog, I like to take the opportunity to reflect. As I sat down to write this year’s post, I realized that I have little new to offer.
Read ArticleTags: Friendship
August 17, 2020
It’s amazing what spouses can do when they work together. Alison and I are fast approaching our eight year anniversary. While we’re still in early innings, it’s terribly sad how many marriages never make it to this point.
Read ArticleTags: Community
September 02, 2019
Seven years ago, Alison and I started our life together. Captured so perfectly in the photograph in the banner of this website, the years have passed by with a considerable amount of joy. Our home is now filled with three bubbly children. They play, laugh, and interact with one another. We’ve grown, changed, and continued to get to know each another. In many ways, our marriage reflects the work of our engagement.
Read ArticleTags: Friendship Generosity Sacraments
December 24, 2018
It’s the little things that make the biggest difference. Most mornings, I invest a few minutes in my marriage, but Alison isn’t even in the same room. I’m started a new habit of making breakfast for her to take on the road to work.
Read ArticleTags: Dating Manliness
May 29, 2018
I was at our Credit Union last week conducting some business when one of the employees remarked that it was her parents’ wedding anniversary. A coworker commented on the happiness of the day, to which she responded, “Not really, they’re divorced.” The scope of divorce in our society is disheartening, and I wonder how many of them could have been prevented.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Dating
January 16, 2018
I love reading the paper. I’ve written about that fact several times on this blog. Perhaps my favorite part of reading the paper is reading the in-depth reporting. Each day there are long-form articles that have been worked on extensively over a prolonged period of time. These exposes are journalism at its finest. Since October, we’ve collectively been discussing sexual harassment and assault due to this type of reporting.
Read ArticleTags: Sexuality
December 27, 2016
I love this last week of the year. There’s a feeling of hope and anticipation for the New Year. We’re eager for this grand reset, and we even start believing that we can change our lives for the better. I'm ready for 2017 to be a change year.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Dating Manliness
December 22, 2016
Marriage is full of misunderstanding. In our circle of friends and in media we bemoan the lack of freedom and small annoyances of our spouses. The truth is something entirely different. The reality of two people coming together to form something new is beautiful. Marriage is ultimately freeing and completely beautiful, even if it doesn’t feel like that sometimes.
Read ArticleTags: Community
November 03, 2016
Everyone wants a happy marriage, but not everyone is willing to work for it. We’ve become too self-centered to recognize that we can build the marriage of our dreams. We must have the courage to mend our flaws and then the determination to cultivate a vibrant prayer life. If you want to be a more loving and patient spouse, you’ve got to pray at least 30 minutes each day.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Generosity Prayer
September 01, 2016
Today's the ultimate Throwback Thursday. Alison and I are celebrating our four year wedding anniversary. We’re a different family than we were on that day, and different people, too. I can see now how each year has progressed and the different stages that we have moved through. The early stages of any new marriage can be tumultuous. I fear that we give newlyweds and engaged couples the wrong perspective. They’re sold on the idea of a honeymoon phase that I don’t believe is real. I see three distinct phases that every marriage goes through.
Read ArticleTags: Sacraments
May 03, 2016
There are many ways to express your love to your wife. Using the words, doing some chores, caring for her after a long week, and even cooking dinner are a few goods ways. One of the more infrequent expression of love is the giving of physical gifts.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
April 07, 2016
I recently wrote about my
thoughts on reading “Emily Post’s Essential Manners for Men: Second Edition.” In that post, I highlighted the three components of etiquette: 1) consideration (how others will feel), 2) respect (how your actions affect others), and 3) honesty (courteous truth telling). I want to look at these three principles and evaluate in a specific way how their implementation can improve the marital relationship.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity Virtue
March 10, 2016
One of my greatest relational weaknesses is a knee-jerk reaction to place blame. It’s a quick reaction and thankfully one that’s rapidly subdued by logic and reason. Still, it's pretty nasty and completely unfair. Few situations rise to the level where blame is even remotely appropriate, but even in those circumstances acceptance of responsibility and devising a path forward are far more productive. The downside to this weakness of mine is the opportunity that it steals from my marriage. It leaves me feeling out of sync with Alison and, in turn, less happy than I would be otherwise.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
February 16, 2016
If there's one thing that we can count on, it's change. Perfectly laid plans are disrupted by unforeseen events and suddenly, they aren't so perfect anymore. The decision that we must make in times of change is if we're going to stick to our guiding principles or if we're going to throw out the playbook and do something completely different.
Read ArticleTags: Money
February 10, 2016
Last Fall, Alison was on call one night at the hospital here in town. The proximity to our house to the hospital makes things both very convenient and painfully inconvenient. Benedict and I had the car and we planned on taking dinner to Alison shortly after her shift started. As I began to put the dinner together, I felt the urge to do something really nice. Instead of just a main course, I wanted to make her a full dinner. So I grilled up some burgers, packed up condiments, chips, dessert, and a mint. It was a small, random gesture, but one that brought her comfort on her long overnight shift.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
February 01, 2016
Inviting God into every aspect of your life is clearly an excellent idea. Having His help and guidance is like having a cheat code in life. There are many areas, however, that I don't even think to invite Him in. Guidance on a major purchase, request for help while working towards goals, or even just increasing the prayers of thanksgiving and showering Him with gratitude are places where I have room for improvement.
Read ArticleTags: Money
January 27, 2016
Life in the Collins household has been in full motion as of late. Just after Thanksgiving we bought a van and expanded to a two car family. Then, late in December, my trusty Prius essentially died. We were able to sell it for a fair price, but we’re back to just one car. Of course, I was mildly devastated to lose my signature car.
Read ArticleTags: Money
January 25, 2016
One of the main roles in the household for husbands is to take care of all of the little details when it comes to maintenance and upkeep. Oil changes, washing the car, lawn care, shoveling snow, and other associated tasks all fall within our purview. These are the tasks that we do for our wives. They aren't fun and they aren't glamorous, but we do them anyway.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
January 19, 2016
If there's one thing about marriage that's true, it's that your spouse often needs you when it's most inconvenient. While not altogether a bad thing, it can be a bit frustrating when she wants to talk while you want to sleep, or when you need a favor while she's working on a craft. While the inconvenience can be chafing, it can also be beautiful.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
November 30, 2015
During this year's Synod on the Family, Pope Francis canonized Louis and Marie-Azelie Martin, the parents of St. Therese. What's particularly interesting about the Martin family is the vocations that came out of it. The Martin's had 9 children, four of whom died in childhood. Of the five who survived, all girls, each entered the religious life. This true model of holiness in a family has me thinking, what will it take for me to raise a family of saints?
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
November 24, 2015
In the Catholic Church, we have aids that help to remind ourselves of God’s loving presence in our lives. We call these aids sacramentals. They are things that have been blessed and that point us back to God. Without being blessed, they are something ordinary like some beads strung together on a rope or water in a bowl. After having been blessed, they become something holy, something that’s a means to achieve peace and holiness in this life, and joy in the next.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
November 19, 2015
It's only when I rush into something that I get burned. Alison and I have recently been car shopping, which in and of itself is a time-pressured experience. Vehicles go up for sale and are sold, sometimes in a matter of days. Like a whack-a-mole game, opportunities come and go in an instant. Especially when it's a major, life altering decision, don't rush.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
November 05, 2015
The ordinary needs to be challenged. In the days of dating your wife, there was much newness in the air. You were getting to know each other, it was exciting, and the future was unknown. After your wedding day, things settled down. Many marriages fail with the couple citing that the flame died out, but that's a fallacy. Dating your spouse doesn't end on your wedding day. It doesn't end, period.
Read ArticleTags: Dating
November 04, 2015
There's nothing better than a family financial boom. Flush with cash, you and your spouse breathe a little easier, you dream a little more, and the door of possibilities opens just a little wider. The great temptation is obviously to do something fun with the money... something a little reckless. The responsible thing is to use it to get ahead. How do you
decide?
Read ArticleTags: Money
October 28, 2015
Is residency over yet? With just under 18 months to go, I'm so done with all of this. Alison's schedule, the shifting sands, and lack of predictability in future planning. It's a part of the process, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it. As a part of this whole experience, Alison and I have really had to spend time rethinking what we need when it comes to
time together.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Community
October 27, 2015
Diligent budgeting requires three distinct toolsets: allocating, tracking, and accounting. Although each toolset has its own challenges and difficulties, using all three in unison can prove a very powerful asset as you strive to reach your financial goals. By not employing all three, you’re likely to lose money somewhere in your budget.
Read ArticleTags: Money
October 19, 2015
When there's something that I want to buy, I tend to develop a laser-like focus on achieving that goal. I'll work to find any way I can to be able to get that thing. This most often happens with technology. All of this focus builds suspense and excitement, which quickly dissipates just a few days after I make the purchase. The suspense and excitement are gone, and I just move on.
Read ArticleTags: Money Virtue
September 28, 2015
I have zero interest in your sexual preferences. Frankly, it's none of my business. Yet, we’ve become so fixated on everyone's sexual preferences that it's spilled beyond relationships into jobs, culture, and every other facet of our shared community life. Sex is an intensely interpersonal act that has two aims: to emotionally bind spouses more closely and to create children. The only time I'm interested in hearing about your sexual preferences is in the context of a baby announcement.
Read ArticleTags: Current Events Sexuality
August 25, 2015
There are two critical times of interaction with your wife each day. They are the times are when you say goodbye in the morning and hello in the evening. While both take only moments, I consider them to be real tone-setters for the day.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
August 19, 2015
Our children's dependance on us is both proper and something that needs to be managed. It’s a wonderful thing that our children rely on us for their basic needs, for guidance, and for instruction. At the same time, this 24 hour job we call parenting is incredibly exhausting. What parent doesn't enjoy the peace and quiet that only the post-bedtime hours can bring? If we're not careful, the exhaustion of raising children can adversely impact the most important relationship in our lives: our marriage.
Read ArticleTags: Dating
August 12, 2015
Perhaps the most difficult struggle that any of us face in reaching our financial goals is the inevitable long journey it takes to reach them. Most of us have goals that are far in the future, like buying our own home, getting out of debt, or retiring in comfort. When we strive to reach a goal that we've never before experienced, it can be easy to fatigue on the goal, and to start losing ground. It's in those moments that your resolve is truly tested.
Read ArticleTags: Money
August 07, 2015
Perhaps the most painful mistakes you or I will ever make will involve money. Bad buying decisions, late payments, or even bouncing a check are all extremely embarrassing life events. We all struggle to let go of dumb money mistakes that we’ve made in the past. Yet, your mistake might not even be an external money mistake. Sometimes money mistakes involve only your family, like going over budget on something. Even though it only involves your family, it’s still embarrassing. It's incredibly important that you be able to forgive yourself and to forgive your wife for money errors.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Money
August 06, 2015
Alison has been accepted into a medical Natural Family Planning course later this year. I'm not sure how long this has been a dream of hers, but a year into her medical career, I know that she's eager to live this dream. It's important that while you're chasing your dreams, you ensure that you're doing all that you can to support your wife's. After all, she supports you in everything that you do.
Read ArticleTags: Community
July 30, 2015
If you work for an employer that offers a benefits package as a part of your compensation, I strongly encourage you to make sure that you fully understand all that is being furnished to you. Alison's upcoming NFP certification course, for example, qualifies under her employer's tuition reimbursement program, meaning, essentially, that she's gaining several thousand extra dollars in compensation this year. Your employer furnishes benefits in exchange for a lower overall salary, so when you let your benefits sit unused, you're essentially taking a pay cut!
Read ArticleTags: Money
July 29, 2015
Earlier this year, during one of Alison's many rotations, she was assigned to a hospital about 45 minutes away. Her shift was from 7am - 7pm daily with the exception of Wednesday, meaning that her schedule and Benedict's schedule aligned very poorly. In fact, during the week, with the exception of Wednesday and the weekend, she often wouldn't see him at all. To help alleviate the loss that all three of us felt, twice during the month Benedict and I drove her to work and then went on an adventure.
Read ArticleTags: Community Generosity
July 09, 2015
Admittedly, this is going to be a bit of an awkward post for me. While I wish I was living out the principles that I'm going to cover, I'm really not. You see, as men, we need really great guy friends. Certainly your wife is your best friend and yet, she can't be your only friend. We need people around us to help us be better men, and who better to challenge us than friends who struggle with the exact same things that we struggle with? By cultivating great relationships with a few great guys, you can build a support network and grow as a man.
Read ArticleTags: Friendship
July 02, 2015
Money just might be the most personal thing in the world. Almost no other topic causes people to become defensive so quickly. After graduating from college, I went overboard and maxed out several credit cards. It was a big mistake and one that set me back two years in my financial plan. When I realized my mistake, with the help of those around me, I found a plan and worked my way back out. Money and pride are closely linked together and they're a deadly duo. We make mistakes, but pride compounds the problem. We need to take a few steps to help keep our money in check.
Read ArticleTags: Money Virtue
July 01, 2015
Earlier this year, while at the March for Life, Alison and I were approached by a man selling official event hats. Ordinarily, I don't bother buying branded merchandise from events, but this time, I did. He told me that the proceeds went to help a particular charity that provided housing and job training to the homeless. Since the hats were clearly high quality and bore the official logo of the March, I immediately reached for my wallet and bought two. The thing is, giving your money to help others is the most fun that you'll ever have.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity Money
June 24, 2015
Marriage is designed to last. While that's a simple statement, the implausibility of the construct makes it an enigma. How can two completely different adults, with completely different customs, traditions, and rearing, come together in their 20s or 30s and build an entirely new family that not only survives a 50 or 60 year marriage, but thrives and endures after the couple's death? There is but one lynchpin in the whole system that keeps this complex arrangement together: permanence.
Read ArticleTags: Friendship Generosity
June 18, 2015
The difference between men and women becomes abundantly clear when it comes to quality time. For men, quality time is like any other allocated time during the day, a set period of time with specific objectives that, once complete, can be moved on from. Women tend to have a more fluid concept of quality time. It's an undetermined length of time and is fulfilled after a certain level of connectedness is reached. In order to help reconcile these differences, I've concluded that we men just need to concede this point. You can't rush quality time and expect meaningful results.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Community
June 17, 2015
Going over budget is never a good thing. Not only does it mean that you have to find the money somewhere else, it also means that you’ll experience a setback on your progress towards your current goals. There are two main reasons why people over spend: they didn't budget enough money to start with or they didn't anticipate certain expenses. If you've been diligently budgeting for a while, going over budget probably isn't a result of irresponsibility, it may just be poor planning.
Read ArticleTags: Money
May 20, 2015
If you want to be a really good husband, direct all of your actions towards getting your wife into Heaven. Essentially, that's our mission in the married life. Certainly our love is meant to be shared completely and we're to accept and raise any children that come into existence as a result. Yet, at the end of the day, everything points back to getting your wife into Heaven. What are you doing to accomplish that mission?
Read ArticleTags: Reflections
May 12, 2015
A few weeks ago, Alison and I went to a live radio show. That sentence felt weird to type, but it's true. We traveled into Washington, DC to be a part of the studio audience for "The Catholic Guy Show" with Lino Rulli which can be heard on SiriusXM's The Catholic Channel. During the show, I got up on the guest mic and for reasons unknown to me, admitted to an international listening audience that my biggest struggle in the married life is with patience. The fact is, it's true, although I didn't plan on sharing that part of my life when I got on air. There are plenty of times when I get really impatient at even the smallest inconveniences. Yet, I know that I'll never be happy in my marriage or in my life if I'm impatient.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Virtue
May 06, 2015
If on your Wedding Day you expected your marriage to be full of positive emotions and the warm fuzzies, you may by now have found yourself disappointed. Emotions are ephemeral, but love is not. When things get a bit chilly in your marriage, sometimes all you need is a bit of relational fresh air. My favorite part about spring is being able to open the windows. After a season of a closed up house, there's something really refreshing about a gentle breeze whipping through the halls of our home. Everything feels better and I feel more motivated to get things done. At times, you need the breath of fresh air in your marriage.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
May 01, 2015
I love the hum of the mail truck. Although we live on a busy street, there's a particular sound that the mail truck makes as it rumbles down the road. It's a low hum combined with short bursts of acceleration as it moves from box to box. Even if I'm in the back of the house, I can usually hear when the mail has arrived in the early afternoon. Several days a week, our mailbox is filled with charitable solicitations. In the Christmas season, it gets even more intense. I don't mind receiving these mailings and we give each request due consideration.
Read ArticleTags: Money
April 23, 2015
Weekends are a great time for some TLC. After a long week, often spent apart, the weekends afford us down time to spend as we please with our family. Hopefully you spend most of the weekend with your wife by working together on chores and projects, having a date night, or even something as simple as being in the same room together. The weekend is also a great opportunity to pamper your wife.
Read ArticleTags: Dating Generosity
April 20, 2015
I made a huge mistake last year. In honor of Alison's birthday, I coordinated among our family to give her an awesome present: her own coffee bar. She was getting ready to begin practicing medicine and I knew two things: Alison loves coffee and physicians need coffee. We got her an espresso machine, a wall-mounted coffee bar, coffee, and everything else that she'd need to have her very own, very fun coffee bar. Then I made a bonehead move. The excitement and anticipation overwhelmed me and I had her open all of her presents before her birthday. Her big day came, and there was nothing left. Whomp.
Read ArticleTags: Dating Generosity
April 13, 2015
Marriage is unlike anything else in our world. It's a relationship that cannot be fully comprehended without entering into one, and it's many layers make it a lifetime effort of discovery. As is normal for human behavior, we try to compare marriage to a relationship that we do understand, bending it to fit into a reality that we can comprehend. The result is error, confusion, and misunderstanding. We often treat marriage like a business transaction, but marriage isn't a joint venture or partnership.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity Virtue
April 06, 2015
Recently, I've been considering the role of men in the family life. It's a complex issue, and one that no longer has consensus among the masses. In a sense, we've forgotten how men should behave and interact with their families. There are many men who want to be good husbands and fathers, but these men find few clues as to how to do it properly. There are also many men who wish to pursue their own desires before being the husband and father that they ought to be, and there are few societal pressures to push them back in the right direction.
Read ArticleTags: Sexuality Virtue
April 03, 2015
A few weeks ago, I was getting my hair cut. The barber asked what I did, and I told him that I’m a writer and that I write about Christian marriage. The resulting conversation was about his experience of the married life and the times when he really screwed up. I enjoyed our conversation, but I was a bit uncomfortable with the jokes that he was sharing. I love humor and use it in almost every situation, but, in my opinion, jokes about marriage tend to be more damaging than funny.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
April 02, 2015
We all have a bit of a flair for the dramatic. While we may despise personal conflict, we’re a bit partial to the excitement and the unknown that the drama incites. There are endless reality TV shows based solely on the generation of drama. Drama is entertaining.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
March 23, 2015
One of the best books on the argument for marriage the way that we understand it is "What is Marriage?: A Man and Woman: A Defense" by Ryan Anderson, Robert George, and Sherif Girgis. I'll review the book in a later post, but in the work, the authors systematically lay out the foundation for the conjugal view of marriage. Namely, that marriage isn't based on emotions, but rather on a mutual desire to express love in such a way that it flows out from the couple and into children. Along the course of the argument, the material touched on some auxiliary issues, including the intent required during sex. Wrongful intent in a sexual relationship, even wrongful intent held by a married person, can reduce sex to a lie or a tool.
Read ArticleTags: Sexuality
March 12, 2015
When Benedict is in the family room playing, anytime he hears the locks on the front door turning, he'll stop and say, "Mama." This cute response to an all too familiar sound is based on his experience of daily life. In the evening, when Alison comes home from work, soon after hearing that sound, his mother appears in view and he gets very excited. No matter what he's doing or how engaged he is with his current activity, he'll stop, say "Mama" and then crawl to the baby gate, waiting to catch a glimpse of her.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
March 11, 2015
Alison's work schedule is, at times, a real challenge for me. On her month of nights, she'd be at home and awake from about noon to 5pm and then gone or asleep for the rest of the day. Some mornings I'd even crawl back into bed for a nap while she was sleeping just so we could be together.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Community
March 06, 2015
A few days before Valentine's Day, my sister texted me asking what my plans were. "Are you going to write Alison a love letter and draw her a bath?" Of course, I responded yes. I also noted how hard it is to surprise Alison because I give away my best ideas on the blog and she edits every single one of them!
Read ArticleTags: Dating
March 02, 2015
When I was in college, I loved dating. I went on dates with many women, was in a relationship with a few, and married one of them. It's a difficult transition to shift your mindset from one of dating to one of a committed relationship. A marriage, being the lifelong commitment that it is, requires your full, undivided heart.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
February 25, 2015
There are many commonly held beliefs about marriage that I refuse to subscribe to. Over the past two years, they've been weaved into many of the posts that have appeared on this blog. I don't believe that marriage is about someone being in control. I don't believe marriage is about someone being nothing more than a rubber stamp. I believe that marriage is more than a partnership or a co-venture. Marriage is about a husband and a wife, both pouring themselves completely into relationship and reaping the rewards together.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Virtue
February 24, 2015
Now that Alison's internship is starting to wind down and she's finished with her examinations and their associated preparations, we're finding more and more time to spend as a family. Don't get me wrong, she's still crazy busy and working long hours, usually far from home, but now that she has less on her plate, her home time really is our own.
Read ArticleTags: Dating
February 23, 2015
The role of husband is perhaps the most challenging role that any man faces. As a single man, the world was your domain. You chose your coming and your going. You chose what you ate, when you ate. You did all of your own social planning, shopping, and travel. As we stepped into the role of husband, and subsequently the role of father, all of that changed.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
February 10, 2015
—PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT—
WARNING! Valentine's Day is in 4 days. WARNING!
Read ArticleTags: Dating Generosity
January 28, 2015
In marriage you share everything, including stress. You won't find that little jewel printed on any brochure and you most likely didn't hear it in your pre-marriage counseling, but it's the truth.
Read ArticleTags: Community
January 23, 2015
Recently, I went through all of my Facebook messages and deleted old conversations. I've never been big into using Facebook messages for communicating, but for some odd reason, Facebook preserved just about every message I've sent using the service for the past 8 years. It took me about 2 hours to get rid of all of them, but I did it.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Dating
January 07, 2015
So many things in our lives are fully within our control. We control our emotions, reactions, and how we treat people. Over time, it can become embarrassingly easy to stop recognizing the gift of your wife. You see her day after day and it becomes easier and easier to act with less kindness. If you don’t watch out, you may end up treating her more like a coworker than your life's partner.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
December 29, 2014
We love to hate budgets. It can be annoying to do them, we always forget to add things, and they’re nearly unrecognizable at the end of the month. The problem with avoiding doing a budget, or doing it poorly, is that all budgets really do is acknowledge reality. We’re going to spend money, it’s just a question of how we’re going to do it. Regardless of how successful you are at staying on budget, the fact remains that ultimately you have to balance your budget, or suffer the consequences.
Read ArticleTags: Money
December 18, 2014
I absolutely love this time of year. The anticipation of Advent, the joy of sharing Christmas morning with my own little family, and a chance for all of us to breathe a little easier and take stock of our year. It's been a big one in the Collins household and I hope that you've had a fun year as well.
Read ArticleTags: Money
December 16, 2014
It’s quite easy to see that we’ve really got a complete misunderstanding of the meaning of sex. On one side of the spectrum, there’s the pervasive hedonistic view that galavants around with the classic “anything goes” mentality. On the other side is the rigid, closed view that sees sex as an inconvenient necessity. The Catholic Church’s teaching is clear, but what both of these views ignore is the fact that sex isn’t just for the bedroom.
Read ArticleTags: Sexuality
December 12, 2014
The life of a young single person is filled with friendships of all degrees. Think back to your college days and the boundless number of friends that you had. Each relationship achieved a particular purpose. They weren't formed out of some utilitarian purpose, rather, as each friendship was cultivated, it ended up meeting some need that you each had.
Read ArticleTags: Community Friendship
December 10, 2014
A lifetime together is a journey of 1,000 miles. Each day, you take small steps forward and, some days, you simply make no progress. We all want to be better people, to live up to the idea of a person we have in our heads, but breaking free from our self-limitations can be extremely challenging, if not almost impossible to do.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
December 08, 2014
Alison and I have been married for 26 months. That means that our Budget Committee has assembled 26 times to write 26 different budgets. There have been some fun meetings when we were flush with cash and there have been meetings where things were really tight. We’ve had Budget Committee meetings that planned for the arrival of Benedict, and planned for gift giving to those we love most. Our Budget Committee has planned for everything from trips to toothbrushes. Over time, we’ve refined how we operate our Budget Committee and I’d like to share our process with you.
Read ArticleTags: Money
December 02, 2014
The way in which we prepare for bed directly affects how much time we spend tossing and turning. With the right moves, you can significantly increase your sleep time each night. Among the changes you can make include decreasing your caffeine consumption, taking melatonin, and limiting “screen time” in the hour leading up to your designated sleep time. Why not do things to make your wife's bedtime better?
Read ArticleTags: Dating Generosity
November 26, 2014
Setting goals is hard. Reaching financial ones is even more difficult. Money flows in and you instantly want to spend it. How do you balance the pursuit of your goals with the wants of today?
Read ArticleTags: Money
November 05, 2014
IKEA just might be the greatest store in the world. The entire showroom is a playground for adults (and kids, too!). When you walk through the aisles, your imagination goes wild and begins putting everything into its place in your home. IKEA is the worst store in the world when you get home.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
October 31, 2014
There are many times in our relationships that we make mistakes. There are times when we don’t love her as we should or when we hurt her.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
October 20, 2014
There’s a belief that whenever spouses have “together time,” they should be actively chatting or interacting. As humans, we need our quiet time to rest, recharge, and restore our creative energies. Together time shouldn’t always be active or talkative, spending quiet time together is just as important.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Dating
October 17, 2014
We have many rooms in our homes, but perhaps the most curious is the bedroom. We have an entire room, sometimes per person, dedicated solely to sleeping. In fact, depending on how much you’re home during the day, it might be the room that you spend the most time in. Your bedroom is a truly sacred space.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
October 16, 2014
You can’t be a minimalist husband. Marriage demands something more. Marriage demands all that you have. Marriage demands your best because your wife deserves it. What does it mean to go the extra mile for your wife?
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
October 03, 2014
Fights in your marriage will happen. They will range in severity, but, from time to time, you will have a serious disagreement with your wife. There’s the right way to handle it and a wrong way to handle it. Usually, I choose the wrong way.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
September 17, 2014
Two weeks ago, Alison and I celebrated our two year wedding anniversary. I’d like to share with you a few thoughts about what I’ve learned so far.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Generosity
August 28, 2014
We all want to be someone great. But do we have the courage to be more than average?
Read ArticleTags: Dating Generosity
August 25, 2014
In your lifetime, you’ll try many new things. You’ll be an amateur at a lot of hobbies. More important than experience, however, is confidence.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Generosity
August 18, 2014
Questions are powerful. Through the power of questioning, you can open up a whole new world. You learn about people, who they are, their unique story and how they view the world.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
August 12, 2014
There’s something really special about candlelit dinners. I’m not sure which committee in history voted that candlelight is a requirement for romance, but they were right. The low flickering light puts everything in a better light.
Read ArticleTags: Dating
August 11, 2014
Romance doesn’t have to be expensive.
Read ArticleTags: Money
August 07, 2014
When you dream, dream big.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
August 06, 2014
As I write this, it’s 5:18am on a Wednesday morning. I’ve been up for 38 minutes. So far, I’ve weighed in, made coffee, spent time in meditation, and began my writing for the day. All of this is possible because, when the alarm rang at 4:40am, both Alison and I got up at the same time.
Read ArticleTags: Community
July 31, 2014
Many people, perhaps a good segment of your friends and peers, have a negative view of marriage. Some believe it’s modern slavery, others see it as a roadblock to fulfilling their dreams, and a few even find the idea of having a single sexual partner for life impossible, or at the very least undesirable. Your experience of marriage is shaped by your attitude towards the Sacrament, not the petty opinion of someone else.
Read ArticleTags: Community Reflections
July 30, 2014
Your day is a series of blocks of time. Every 15 or 30 minutes, you have your time parsed out to one meeting or another project. At home you have time for reading, relaxing, or maybe even gaming. So with your schedule full and your wife’s full, how do you find time for your wife?
Read ArticleTags: Dating
July 29, 2014
A major theme of this blog is personal service. I believe that the most fun you’ll have is in serving your wife selflessly. If you lose yourself in your wife’s needs, you’ll reap a harvest so abundant that your marriage cannot help but grow.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
July 16, 2014
Playing with kids all day is fun. As adults, however, we need time for ourselves. We need time to connect to other humans who can form complex sentences and share ideas. I like to call the hour after Benedict goes to sleep the “Golden Hour.”
Read ArticleTags: Dating
July 10, 2014
In our society, especially recently, we’ve spent a lot of time talking about ways to avoid pregnancy. When did kids become the enemy?
Read ArticleTags: Sexuality
July 09, 2014
Relationships have seasons. Sometimes they’re going really well and other times, well, they’re not.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
July 03, 2014
Money makes the world go around. Currency allows us to buy things, both needs and wants.
Read ArticleTags: Money
June 24, 2014
Perhaps the most crippling and meaningless activity in American workplaces is the blame game. Every single worker can easily recall a recent time when an error occurred, and the workforce spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out who to blame, instead of fixing the problem.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
June 16, 2014
As a society that strives for absolute equality, we’ve really missed the boat on something key. In our rush to make sure that we don’t offend anyone or hurt their feelings, we’ve given up on the idea that being unequal in some things might actually be a good and beneficial thing.
Read ArticleTags: Community
May 27, 2014
One of the biggest jumps to make between the single life and the married life is the transition to shared decision making.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
May 14, 2014
There’s a growing body of research that’s demonstrating that regular date nights with your spouse can significantly increase the happiness in your marriage. Sadly, few married couples make time to have exclusive spousal relationship time.
Read ArticleTags: Dating
May 05, 2014
A few months ago, I wrote about how I’ve been trying to
watch what types of media I consume. The premise is that you become the media that you consume. One of the popular songs today that I’ve been trying to avoid is “Sleeping with a Friend” by Neon Trees.
Read ArticleTags: Sexuality
April 28, 2014
Step 1: Do something that will make your wife’s life easier.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
April 07, 2014
We all love to be a part of inside jokes. These jokes come about when we have a shared experience with someone else. The joy of an event lives on when similar circumstances reappear in your life. After all, life is more fun when you’re enjoying it.
Read ArticleTags: Friendship
March 31, 2014
Marriage isn’t the end. It’s the beginning.
Read ArticleTags: Dating Reflections
March 26, 2014
Your wedding ring is a constant reminder of your wife’s love and fidelity. It’s a circle, without beginning or end. It’s perpetual.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
March 24, 2014
Daily married life is often light and playful. There are jokes, stories, and general bonding. There will be also times in your marriage when you’ll need to have a serious conversation with your wife. It’s important that the weight of these conversations are well known while you’re having them.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
March 17, 2014
Your marriage was meant for good.
Read ArticleTags: Community Generosity Virtue
March 13, 2014
Prayer in common is a tradition in Catholicism that goes back to our beginnings. Catholics, though we weren’t called that yet, would gather in each other’s home to pray and break bread. Today we have a more formalized liturgy that is the Mass. We gather together in God’s house to pray as a community. We know that wherever two or more are gathered, God is in our presence. Praying with your wife is an essential practice in your marriage.
Read ArticleTags: Prayer
March 12, 2014
Communication. We all want lots of high quality communication, but it can be difficult to find. In a marriage, communication is essential.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
March 11, 2014
Finances are central to our lives. Money is how we buy the things we need, and do the things we love. Having money can be a great thing, but it can also be a tremendous burden. If you don’t take the time to decide what you’re going to do, you’ll soon find you don’t have any. In your marriage, working with your wife to determine how you’ll spend your money is one of the most important things you can do together.
Read ArticleTags: Money
March 05, 2014
Think for a moment about the early days of dating. A new relationship is fresh, vibrant, and exciting. Your heart races as you receive a new text message.
Read ArticleTags: Dating
February 20, 2014
Conflict in your marriage is a certainty. You and your wife are working towards the same goals, but you may each have a different way to get there. There will be a lot of times when you’re in the wrong, but there will also be times when you’re right, but end up losing the fight anyway.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Generosity
February 17, 2014
We live in a culture that despises conflict, but loves drama. We think that conflict means that someone is right and someone is wrong. That’s wrong.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
February 03, 2014
Love can be a difficult thing to show. Since it’s an abstract concept, bringing it into the physical world can present a challenge. It’s because of this challenge that some lesser men can manipulate it to achieve an agenda. They can use it to manipulate people. For us, it’s about showing our wife in many different ways how much we love her.
Read ArticleTags: Dating
January 27, 2014
The other day I was looking at my iPhone. As I looked at the many apps that have earned a spot on my home screen, I realized how much they have changed the way I live my life daily. It’s not that I’d be lost without my phone, but my life would be different. I wouldn’t be as efficient or as motivated.
Read ArticleTags: Gratitude
January 23, 2014
The most common misconception of Catholic teaching on sexuality is that once you’re married, you’re allowed to do anything sexual you want. The idea is that before you’re married sex is bad and, as soon as you slip the ring on her finger, anything goes.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Sexuality
January 20, 2014
The institution of marriage is mind-blowing. Two people with two completely different personalities, with different family traditions, come together and promise, usually at a young age, to be faithful and loving to each other all the days of their lives. As an institution comprised of flawed human beings, it’s clear there is something supernatural within the sacrament of marriage.
Read ArticleTags: Sexuality
January 16, 2014
Working in unison with your wife can be a powerful tool. In fact, when you both set your minds to a goal, you can achieve great things together!
Read ArticleTags: Communication
January 14, 2014
All vocations are a calling to serve others. The single person is called the Church and community. The Priest is called to serve the Parish. The Religious are called to serve their community. The married person is called to serve their spouse and family.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
January 08, 2014
We’ve all come to a crossroads. Two paths that certainly have their benefits, but we can only choose one. In our single days the choice might have been hard, but we only had to look to ourselves to make it happen. In the married life, there’s more at stake.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
December 31, 2013
Marriage was designed to be a reflection of Christ’s love for the Church. Being part of such a union is a big set of shoes to fill. What makes it even harder is that we’re called to lay down our life for our wife.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
December 30, 2013
Your wedding is a day, marriage is a lifetime. Those words are so true, but we can easily forget the words that are exchanged. It can be easy to leave the events of the day in that day. To live an authentically Catholic marriage, we must bring the words and prayers of the Nuptial Mass to life.
Read ArticleTags: Dating Generosity
December 12, 2013
The relationship between a husband and wife is both exclusive and complete. By its design, it can meet almost all of the emotional needs of the spouses, but that can be difficult.
Read ArticleTags: Friendship
December 11, 2013
Masculine pride will tell you that apologies are weakness. It will tell you that the person who apologizes first, loses. Masculine pride has also gotten you into a few tight spots before, hasn’t it?
Read ArticleTags: Communication Manliness
December 09, 2013
The place of marriage in society is something that is being fiercely questioned in our world today. What is marriage? What is its purpose? Why do we give married couples certain benefits? As Catholics, it is quite clear. Marriage is both unitive and procreative and benefits are granted by the State because the State has a vested interest in the regeneration of its population in stable homes.
Read ArticleTags: Community
November 20, 2013
Many of us have some major trust issues. We've all been hurt deeply by someone we love. Those experiences can be traumatizing to us at the time. They can also have lasting effects on our future relationships.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Community Generosity
November 19, 2013
As husbands, we are called to support our wives. That support comes in many different forms. It may be materially, emotionally or mentally. It must include spiritually.
Read ArticleTags: Prayer
November 18, 2013
One of the biggest struggles that married couples face is the monotony of the normal. Married life, on a day to day basis, is quite normal and mundane. What marriages need are excitement and adventure!
Read ArticleTags: Dating
October 28, 2013
A great thing about being married is that your spouse is not you.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Community
October 22, 2013
Regret is a terrible thing. It only happens when we look back and realized we had a missed opportunity. As guys, there is one scenario that should cause us nothing but regret. Not taking our wife's offer to go shopping with her.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
October 15, 2013
The power of unity in your marriage can’t be underestimated.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
October 11, 2013
=There may come a point in your marriage when you realize something. You and your wife may communicate differently.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
September 27, 2013
Having just celebrated our one year anniversary, I admit that I’m not an expert on the topic of romance.
Read ArticleTags: Dating
September 24, 2013
Bonding. We all have our favorite “bonding” activities to do with our spouse. Maybe it is curling up with a good book, staying in and watching a movie, or going for a walk in the neighborhood.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
September 20, 2013
One of the most critical skills you can develop in your marriage is the art of negotiation.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
September 19, 2013
The first few months of your marriage are wonderful.
Read ArticleTags: Dating
September 02, 2013
Now that I have been married for almost a year, I have had the pleasure of experiencing several weddings of family and friends.Read ArticleTags: Community Gratitude
July 25, 2013
As a husband (and father, too!) we have a very important role to fill. It is one that we simply can’t abdicate. It is the role of the protector.Read ArticleTags: Generosity Manliness
July 04, 2013
When you get married, you become something totally new.Read ArticleTags: Communication Community
May 07, 2013
ust over a month after my wedding, my wife and I attended my brother’s wedding. It was a beautiful occasion. He got married in the same Church as my grandparents. All of the family was there. The priest was a man we had known for 12 years, from his days in the Seminary.Read ArticleTags: Communication Generosity
May 02, 2013
Money is something that people don’t like to talk about. The only thing we like to do with money is pretend that we have lots of it. It’s a shame because it is really a tool that can be our greatest ally.Read ArticleTags: Communication Money
April 30, 2013
My desk, at the end of the day, is always completely clear. I am a generally clean person. I try to be diligent in maintaining cleanliness in my life.Read ArticleTags: Generosity Manliness
April 22, 2013
Our lives have phases. There are good phases and there are not so good phases.Read ArticleTags: Communication Money
April 19, 2013
As men, we like to fix things. See a problem, fix a problem. We enjoy the challenge. We believe that we are good at it. The problem is, we apply this fix-it attitude to every situation. We don’t realize that what we want doesn’t always line up with what our wives want.Read ArticleTags: Communication Generosity
April 18, 2013
When I was studying at Franciscan University in Ohio, one of the big relational topics that people discussed were the "love languages." There are five love languages as defined by Dr. Gary Chapman.Read ArticleTags: Communication Dating
March 26, 2013
Contraception is a lie. The pitch is simple. Young, hip, independent women have the right to have sex with anyone they want, at any time. Pregnancy is a mistake and will ruin your fun. So take these pills and live your life.Read ArticleTags: Generosity Sexuality
March 25, 2013
One of the concepts that I struggle with is, "Your wife is always right." I make plenty of mistakes, a fact that doesn't bother me. Absolute statements, though, make me cautious. At the very least, they deserve a bit more scrutiny.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
March 21, 2013
Time is our most precious commodity. We can change the circumstances and regain what we have lost for so many things in life. Yet, time, once spent, is gone forever. When transitioning into married life, you will now have new unique demands on your time.
Read ArticleTags: Prayer Productivity
March 19, 2013
On my wedding day, I was a spry young man. As a friend would say, "Just a pup." I was ready to set off on the journey of a lifetime.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Generosity
