Catholic Husband

Love / Lead / Serve

Written for Me

Though I haven’t committed to routine self-improvement in the past two years, there was a recent time in my life where it was always top of mind. The last big undertaking was in 2022 when I completed Ascension Press’ Bible in a Year podcast. That was the first time in my life that I read the Bible and truly studied it as a comprehensive work, and the payoff has been huge.

Although the Bible was authored thousands of years ago and 5,000 miles away, it applies to my life today as it did to the authors then. It’s a book of human stories and experiences, that repeat throughout our lives. No matter the situation that I find myself in, I can almost always find a direct relationship to a story or character in the Bible. In those times, it feels as if it was all written only for me.

Filled with dark imagery, unimaginable suffering, and challenges that I hope to never confront, the thread of hope weaves throughout the chapters and verses. At the end of the story, no matter how dark things get, Light returns to assert dominion, the greatest triumph of all.

Thank You

I have written many posts over the years marking Veterans Day. This is a day for us to pause to not only thank those who gave us everything, but the many, many more who gave part of their lives to protect and defend us and our way of life. This self-sacrifice is among the highest of human ideals and for that, all I have to say today is, thank you.

One Second

On Saturday, I made a scheduled site visit for work. It’s a bit of a hike to the office, just over 2.5 hours, but the drive is mostly on big open roads. It was a normal Saturday, almost boring.

I wrapped up my work and swung into a local gas station to fuel up and grab a snack. After getting my gas, I went inside and quickly picked up my food. Checking out, though, was weird. I tried to use the self-checkout, but it was painfully slow between my four items. The fourth one just would not scan. The manager insisted that the system was fine, but I hopped over to a cashier anyway. I had similar trouble with my debit card.

I got into the car and, as I pulled away, I prayed the Traveller’s Prayer. I usually pray it when leaving the house on this trip, and can’t recall a time I prayed on the return trip; I always just figure once per trip is fine.

The drive was busier than usual, cars moving slowly and keeping me from an easy cruise-control drive. Things were really slowing me down. The path is on a wide four-lane divided highway, with long stretches of open road between tiny towns.

There is one town, in particular, where the speed limit drops precipitously as the divided highway gives way to a 5th paved center lane. It’s known for speed traps, so regular drivers know to take it slow. As we neared the end of the city limits, I was eager to accelerate, but cars in the left and right lane were blocking my way.

As I moved into the right lane to pass the driver cruising in the left, my eyes were drawn to a gold Toyota Camry crossing the center lane, entering the left lane, and coming right at me.

When I was in high school, I participated in a teen defensive driving program called Driver’s Edge. Sponsored by insurance companies and professional driving tracks, the one-day course creates a safe and controlled environment where teens can push cars to the limits in extreme driving scenarios, and understand how to react. The instructors are nearly all professional drivers.

In that moment, when I perceived the car coming at me like a YouTube dash cam crash video, I reflexively reacted. I jammed the accelerator and made an evasive swerve away from the oncoming car. The car passed by close enough that I could see the driver’s face, and slammed head-on into the car behind me. Had I reacted one second later, or braked instead of accelerated, it would’ve been me.

I remember three still frames from that moment; when I first noticed the car, the blank look on the driver’s face as he passed by, and the moment of impact behind me as seen through my rearview mirror.

I stopped, along with many other drivers. We did what we could, but the situation was dire for the wrong-way driver. From the entire time I saw his car in motion, there was no reaction. Combined with the blank look on his face, it appeared that he was unaware of what was going on. He wasn’t much better when we reached his car, he was seriously injured, in pain, and fading. He lost consciousness as the paramedics arrived, less than 10 minutes after the collision, and did not recover.

It was comforting, in the days before the contentious election, to see who we really are as a country. All of us who stopped had somewhere to be, and no idea who these people were. But we saw that they were in trouble, and we helped.

Speed wasn’t a factor in this accident, merely the violence of two cars traveling at speed in opposite direction violently colliding. One second and a few feet is what made the difference for me on Saturday afternoon. I’m confident that I would’ve been okay, but it was still terribly sad for the driver to experience a medical episode, lose control of his vehicle, and die with such numerous and traumatic injuries. I was one of the last people he spoke to in those 10 minutes as he faded away, and pray that whomever he was, he went from speaking to me to standing in the presence of God Himself.

Overflowing

A good way to think about our lives, especially our spiritual lives, is as a cup. We can choose what we fill it up with. Things of beauty, prayer, the Sacraments, and acts of virtue fill up our cup to the point where it overflows.

When our cup is overflowing, it’s extraordinarily difficult for sin to enter into our lives. We are fulfilled, living life by God’s design, and there is simply no room for temptation to gain a foothold.

In the same way with time and our day, when we fill up our day with the things we must do, there is neither time nor opportunity for anything else. By filling up our spiritual life with these good things and heavenly delights, we can accomplish the same thing.

We carry the same habitual sins into the Confessional month after month, year after year. It can be easy to make small pivots and adjustments to increase our chances of overcoming this sin, but why not just completely snuff it out? Give it no quarter, no room, no attention. Even a giant log is no match for a river with a strong current.

One Thousand

To understand life is to understand impermanence. As we grow, experience, and learn new information, we are changed as people. We become ourselves as the sum total of the people we meet, the things we do, and the books we read.

I started this project, Catholic Husband in March of 2013 with the idea of working as a writer. I did become a writer, but by practicing this craft for more than a decade, I actually set myself up perfectly for my current job.

This is my 1,000th blog post. Taken together, this body of work reflects my thoughts and experiences as a husband and a father. As I flip through my old posts, I can recall the emotions and events that inspired the post, like mile markers along this journey.

It was not always easy to stay committed to this project, and there were some breaks here and there. But now, standing here at this milestone, I find myself receiving a gift from my former self. By taking the time to express my thoughts in the medium that I prefer, writing, I can see clearly the experience that is my life, laid out all together.

Catholic Husband is not meant to be a historical record, but rather a living handbook. These thoughts and ideas are the ideal that I aspire to; these are the ways to think and act for those of us who wish to live as the Holy Family lived. I, like Catholic Husband, am a work in progress. But if I persist, if I run the race, I will end much closer to my goal than if I never tried.

Few blogs make it this far, but I’ve only just begun.

Things of Heaven

For the many hours that I’m awake during the day, there are many things on my mind. I have what I need to do now, what I need to do next, and the random thought of what needs to be done in the future. From meal prep, to instant scheduling decisions, to the project at hand, my mind works all throughout the day.
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Starting Over

In the 5th grade, my teacher, Mr. Gleeves, would start most days by announcing, “Today is the first day of the rest of your lives.” That was over 25 years ago, but now as I sit down to write this, those words are coming to the fore.Read Article

Forgetting to Shift

Life, and parenting, is full of shifts. From infants to teenagers, our children progress at a rapid clip. But it’s easy to find ourselves answering today’s challenges with yesterday’s solutions. Our children are always adapting to their changing worlds, but for adults, we can forget.Read Article

Small Moments

When we aspire to greater things, we tend to fall into the trap of making big plans. I’ve never run a marathon, and frankly never run. So if I decided to run a marathon next summer, it’d be easy to get lost in the planning.Read Article

Dig Deeper

It’s easy to wait for whatever’s next. Let this moment pass by, it’s nothing compared to what’s coming next. Life starts to feel like the Sims, where we check off a few things, kill time until bed, then wake up to do it over again. It’s easy to slip into this mindset because thinking about everything we have to do today, and tomorrow, and the next day, is paralyzing. Sinking into the couch and scrolling is cathartic escapism that soothes us in the now, but robs us blind.Read Article

Plans

For I know well the plans I have in mind for you —oracle of the LORD— plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.


- Jeremiah 29:11Read Article

Cloak

In the Bible and Sacred Tradition, there are certain items to which we ascribe special meaning. God has a way of using ordinary things to bring into reality the extraordinary. One such item is the cloak of St. Joseph.Read Article

Hints of Fall

The dog days of summer are in the rearview mirror as pumpkin spice season is just around the corner. It was another long, hot summer and I’m so ready for the first blast of cool Canadian air. Read Article

Drift

Winding down the mind at night is seldom easy. Our racing minds make lists, rehash events of the day, or bother us with endless ideas and anxieties that we could never possibly address in these moments before sleep. Worst of all is the knowledge of how good sleep is for our tired bodies, and our inability to trigger this blissful release.Read Article

Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence

My favorite Church song is a bit haunting. Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence, like much of our liturgical life, is based on a line from the Book of Habakkuk. Its melody is dark, heavy, and somewhat ominous. It’s without a doubt a song about the return of Christ, a moment in history that will be unrivaled in absolute drama.Read Article

Contagious

Late last week, my neighbor across the street was out attempting to finish mowing his lawn. It was hot, he was no doubt tired and just wanting to be done. As he worked on edging the front sidewalk, his toddler waddled over, pacifier in mouth, and gleefully observed his dad at work.Read Article

Magnet

Summer continues, and my children still blissfully spend their days with ended self-directed activity. Audiobooks, creative play, play-dough, they have not a care in the world. For me, my work continues.Read Article

Sacred Silence

Without doubt, there’s real renewal happening in the Catholic Church. The new guard is stepping into the breach, reminding us of the sacred and special nature of our faith. At a time when the public places so little importance in religion, we’re getting back to basics and rediscovering our core identity.Read Article

Summer Break

Summer, like all seasons, is racing past. When it seems like just yesterday school’s shut their doors, we’re now past the 4th of July and the new school year is coming in view. Three of my children are away and this week it’s just me and my youngest.
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What's Next

Mindfulness gained a foothold in the imaginations of workers and corporations in the last few years, as popular apps brought reliable and lighthearted training to the masses on their phones. Mindfulness asks us to pause and focus only on our existence in a certain moment. It calms the mind and allows us to observe the world as it passes.Read Article

Liberty

Celebrating America’s independence is on the calendar this week, which means for most it’ll be a slow week at the office. Summer is nearly halfway over, and as we reflect on the courage it took for the United States to stand up to the British Empire, it’s a good time to reflect philosophically on what we truly have gained.Read Article

Pausing to Advance

I have a recurring to-do that pops up every Thursday that reminds me to complete a weekly review. This is a fairly standard practice, popularized by David Allen, that gives you an opportunity to take a 40,000-foot view of your work on a regular interval. You go through all of your inboxes and task lists, make sure that they’re updated to reflect your current priorities, and prepare yourself for the upcoming week.Read Article

Play-Based Childhood

My first phone was the Motorola Razor. I vaguely remember getting it as I was entering my sophomore year of high school, but it could’ve been my freshman year. With its T9 keyboard, and limited minutes and messages each month, I don’t believe I used to all that much. I called my parents and friends, but I was nowhere near tethered to it. The original iPhone was released the summer of my freshman year of college. I was an adult, with a mostly formed brain, and received that phone as a gift shortly after launch.Read Article

Priorities

Much thought is given to priorities, especially around the beginning of a new year. Whether we set them intentionally or not, priorities are guiding our actions. Even if you set out with a solid plan, it’s easy to become overcome by events.Read Article

Heavenly Delights

On Saturday, my daughter, Felicity, received her First Holy Communion. It was a day that she’d looked forward to for months, and why wouldn’t she? Children are receptive to ideas that are hard for adults. It’s what makes them vulnerable, but sometimes vulnerability is a gift.Read Article

A Blast of Trumpets

The design of our parish draws heavy inspiration from the great Italian basilicas. A large dome binds together the transepts, and the oversized sanctuary, adorned in stone, creates a huge, open space with the altar perfectly centered. It’s the kind of design that elevates the mind; beauty that shocks the faithful out of the routine of our daily lives and reminds us of the specialness of this place.
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Breathing Room

Impulse shopping is really, really fun. There’s the enticement of an email, the excitement of a deal, and the endless possibilities that this next purchase will open up. Anticipation builds as the fulfillment and shipping process plays out and crescendos at the unboxing.Read Article

IOUs

One of the false hopes that our psychology causes us to believe is that if we only had more, we’d be satisfied. If we only had that one more thing, a little more each paycheck, one more cookie, that’s all that we need. Regrettably and predictably, we get to that one more thing, only to find that the goalposts have moved.Read Article

Do it Well

Nearly 15 years out of college, I could’ve never predicted the arc of my career. I walked across the stage with a degree in Philosophy, a course of study that doesn’t lend itself to a neat career path. Rather, many doors were open for me and a few were closed. Read Article

Custom Parenting

Last year, when we got a dog, I thought that life would be simple. Dogs, unlike cats, are thought to be loyal and obedient. When a family needed them to do something, they would do it in a no drama way. I was wrong. Our dog, a creature all her own, has an agenda all her own. Usually, she goes with the flow, but there are plenty of occasions each week on which she doesn’t want to get with the program.
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Pray, Now

Many times, this blog has noted the depth and breadth of devotions within the Catholic Church. The dizzying array of options can lead to paralysis; having too many options and simply choosing none of them. The truth is that the best kind of prayer is the one that gets prayed.Read Article

Above All Things

Starting in our earliest years of formation, we learn that we were made to love God “above all things.” This ideal is a daily challenge to each of us to set aside our heart’s desires, the desires of our family, and to focus first on God, who provides for all things. Even in our Act of Penance, we remind ourselves of this truth by repeating these words.Read Article

Mercy, Not Justice

Yesterday was the Feast of Divine Mercy, a holy day that Jesus Himself requested in His apparitions to St. Faustina. Mercy and grace are talked about frequently in Christian discourse and music, but it strikes me that many lack the comprehension of the completeness of God’s mercy.
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Sequence

Christians, to the Paschal Victim
Offer your thankful praises!Read Article

At Your Altar

Parenting is a regimented and structured adventure, with known milestones sprinkled throughout the growth and development of your children. Although I know these milestones, and can see them coming, they always seem to catch me by surprise.Read Article

Renew, Refresh

About this time, every year, Alison and I are bitten by the spring projects bug. There’s something elemental about it; I never see it coming, and it always just bubbles into my consciousness. Read Article

Frozen

In vitro fertilization is back in the news. The Alabama Supreme Court in recent weeks issued a ruling that recognized frozen embryos stored for use in IVF were accorded the rights of personhood under the law. Politicians on both sides of the aisle latched onto this political football, with everyone praising what they consider to be the essential good of IVF as an answer to a couple’s desire to have a child. Regrettably, they’re still wrong on the ethics and on the facts.Read Article

Talent

Every priest has a unique gift that he offers the Church. Young men who go straight from high school to seminary offer their youth, extending their priestly ministry by years. Men who enter in middle age or even later in life bring their lived experience to inform their ministry. Some are great preachers, others stunning academics, and still others are driven to give a profound witness through audacious outreach.Read Article

More Important Things

Friday was a good day. Although it started straightforward enough, my plans were busier than usual. Not only did we have schoolwork to accomplish and work to do, it was also laundry day and I wanted to vote early.
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6,570

Parenting young children is exhausting, and although I know my aunt is being truthful when she wholeheartedly recommends retirement to me, I’m able to recognize that every season has its challenges and its rewards.Read Article

Contend

The nature of the human condition is that we each bear an overriding character flaw. This is colloquially referred to as our crosses to bear, but what it really means is that we will have a singular struggle with sin and failure throughout our lives. It’ll look different from everyone else’s, but it’s our pathway to sainthood.Read Article

Start Now

Tomorrow is the perfect time to start anything. With the whole day ahead of us, no interruptions, it’ll be just right. I’ll do everything that I’ve been meaning to do for the last six months but haven’t quite gotten around to getting done. Read Article

Platitudes

A frequent criticism of Christians is that, in times of great sorrow or difficulty, we fall back on platitudes rather than meaningful action. It’s true that we quote Scripture as a form of consolation and encouragement, but it should hardly be regarded as a platitude.Read Article

Daily Burn

Each time a pilot prepares to fly an aircraft, he does a fuel calculation. Based on the current weather data and flight plan, he’ll calculate fuel burn and determine exactly how much fuel will be required to safely conduct the flight. Once that calculation is complete, he’ll add in a fixed amount of reserves to ensure that, regardless of what happens once aloft, he’ll make it to his destination.Read Article

Chasm

There are an infinite number of ways that COVID changed the way in which we live our lives. Though we find ourselves four years removed from the initial outbreak, and more than two years from the return to normal, visages of those early days are still with us, regrettably even at the Mass.Read Article

Unraveled

For the entire existence of humanity, there has been a singular experience that unites us. No matter the time, geolocation, cultural surroundings or economic environment, human reproduction was universally recognized as an essential good. The gradual transition from child to adult to parent was a natural progression that was something to be celebrated. Not only did it denote a degree of maturity, but was also a sign of growing wisdom. The student truly becoming the master.Read Article

Trailhead

Three hundred and sixty-five days later, we find ourselves at another trailhead. The new year holds a great deal of symbolism in our world, although in reality it’s just another day. The beauty, though, of the special meaning to which we assign it, is that it’s another reminder of our call to constant renewal.Read Article