Catholic Husband

Love / Lead / Serve

Community

Liberty

Celebrating America’s independence is on the calendar this week, which means for most it’ll be a slow week at the office. Summer is nearly halfway over, and as we reflect on the courage it took for the United States to stand up to the British Empire, it’s a good time to reflect philosophically on what we truly have gained.Read Article

Renew, Refresh

About this time, every year, Alison and I are bitten by the spring projects bug. There’s something elemental about it; I never see it coming, and it always just bubbles into my consciousness. Read Article

Breaking Faith

It’s challenging to remember the feelings we experienced at the election of Pope Francis. A total wild card, a true Vatican outsider, swept onto the world stage and took the Chair of St. Peter by storm. It was, in some ways, a bit refreshing. Pope Benedict XVI was deeply intellectual, providing the theological underpinnings that we need to sustain the faith. Still, we longed for the charismatic and energetic days of Pope John Paul II.Read Article

Fresh Start

With the house unpacked, and the children returned, today is our family’s fresh start. We are the same people, with the same jobs and school schedule, in a completely new environment. Read Article

Symbiosis

Nature is a constant teacher. So many of the natural things that occur in our lives and in our relationships are mirrored in the animal kingdom. I find that the symbiosis that occurs between species is a great analog for marriage.Read Article

The Idea

Jesus is most commonly thought of as a religious figure, but in reality, his core message a fundamental change in human thinking. Jesus’ contribution to philosophy is the single most important idea in history.Read Article

Create Beauty

There’s so much darkness and ugliness in the world. The links that get clicked and shows that get watched thrive on it. We almost indulge the darkness.Read Article

Silent Night

With last week's brutal winter weather came all sorts of inconveniences. Plans changed, businesses closed, and flights were cancelled. In a way, it was appropriate that this massive storm caused us all to pause in the closing weeks of the year. Read Article

Image and Likeness

2021 was supposed to be the year of civility and normalcy. Well, we didn’t get it. Instead, we got more acrimony and animosity. Last year I wrote about walking under the stars and listening to the Bible. I had started the Bible in a Year podcast with Fr. Mike Schmitz. I didn’t make it past day 25 or so, but I’m starting over.Read Article

Dads on Duty

There’s a great human interest story making its rounds about a high school in Louisiana. They’ve suffered numerous fights this academic year, leading to dozens of students arrested or expelled. Not wanting to let this sort of behavior continue, over 40 dads in the community signed up to patrol the school hallways.Read Article

Environment

I caught the back to school bug last week. The malaise of summer broke, and I worked through my checklist of projects. I oiled squeaky doors, replaced door handles, and ordered in some extra decor for our schoolroom. I even started easing us back into the regular daily routine.Read Article

The Family Home

Alison and I bought our first home last year. Leading up to the purchase, I failed to anticipate how much different ownership would make me feel. I figured it was a simple transaction in which we traded one house we were living in for another. I was so wrong.Read Article

Together

It’s amazing what spouses can do when they work together. Alison and I are fast approaching our eight year anniversary. While we’re still in early innings, it’s terribly sad how many marriages never make it to this point.Read Article

Some Gave All

Memorial Day marks the official start of summer. While the holiday weekend is typically filled with travel and cookouts, this year the celebrations are muted. In this time of upheaval, it’s a wonderful chance for us to rediscover the meaning of the holiday. Read Article

The Lessons Learned

Back in January, I had high hopes and expectations for 2020. The future was bright as a new decade dawned. Even just saying 2020 felt hopeful. In March, all of those illusions came crashing down. While the global lockdowns are starting to lift, I’m coming to the realization that things aren’t going back to the old way.
Read Article

Specter of Pandemic

In late December and early January, the Wuhan virus was a distant trouble. It was an outbreak isolated to a province of China that few of us had ever heard of. As the virus crosses borders and continues to spread, we can now see the clouds forming on our own horizon. No longer is this a problem for people we’ve never met; it’s rapidly approaching our own communities.
Read Article

Little Kids Praying

Praying with little kids is often a difficult experience. While I try to set a good example, my kids often fiddle, wander, or play. As it turns out, they’re not being disrespectful. When little kids fiddle, they’re really engaged in the activity. It’s how they listen, process, and understand things. They may not say the words, but they hear and know them. It can be frustrating when they refuse to pray, but giving them their space has its benefits. One day, the switch will flip, and it’s a beautiful thing. Read Article

Themes

This is a big year for me. My son is starting school in the fall, my middle child is coming into her own, and my baby is getting ready to stand up on two feet and never stop moving. The lifestyle that we’ve developed, that of loose structure, is about to take on a whole new level of complication.Read Article

Becoming Technoskeptic

When the iOS App Store first opened its doors, I was one of the first customers. For years, coworkers would query me about the latest and greatest app. They’d come to me with the solution that they were trying to achieve, and I’d help them find the best app for the job. I was a true technophile.Read Article

On Tumblr

Tumblr recently faced an internal crisis. The niche mass-blogging platform had become widely accepting of adult themed blogs. Pornographic images were freely posted and shared, all within the acceptable uses defined by the company. Then came the child pornography.Read Article

Where Emotion and Perception Rule

My degree is in classical philosophy, with a heavy emphasis in Ancient Greek thought. Of all of the courses that I took, none stand out as more impactful than Logic. When use that word, “logic,” a lot without really appreciating its nature. Logic is a system, very closely related to mathematics, that helps us to process thoughts and positions to ensure integrity and congruence.Read Article

Zero Screens

I have an ambitious goal. In many ways, it may appear opposed to who I am as a person. I consider myself to be well versed in technology. I stay up to date on the latest news, and many of my RSS subscriptions (see what I mean?) are of tech blogs.

Goal: zero minutes of screen time per week for my kids.Read Article

Build Your Parish

A few years ago, my parents’ parish redesigned their website. I have an interest in these sorts of things, so I complemented my mom one day on its beauty and usability. As it turns out, in a parish full of technologists, they were paying a 3rd party company to build and run their website. My mom expressed dismay that no one had stepped forward to take on that responsibility.Read Article

Quitting Social Media

I remember a time, a decade ago, when the Internet was fun. It was an open, collaborative place where you could find interesting articles and links, follow your friends, find a few laughs, and get a real sense of connection. It’s amazing what the passage of time can do, even a relatively short passage of time. Today, the Internet has become four or five main websites. Those sites are essentially ads, spyware, spam, and garbage.Read Article

Stop Using In-Law

Marriage is full of misunderstanding. In our circle of friends and in media we bemoan the lack of freedom and small annoyances of our spouses. The truth is something entirely different. The reality of two people coming together to form something new is beautiful. Marriage is ultimately freeing and completely beautiful, even if it doesn’t feel like that sometimes.Read Article

The American Family: Then and Now

I'm interested in American history, in particular, American military history. As a son of the South, I enjoy learning about the Civil War from the Southern perspective. I’m currently working my way through the book “Rebel Yell.” It's an exhaustive 650+ page biography of Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson. Jackson was a brilliant strategist and one of our nation's greatest generals. The book focuses on his life story as told through his personal letters. Turning the pages, I feel like I'm living in the period. I now have a much better sense of what America was like in the 1850s. The American family then stands in stark contrast to the American family today.Read Article

Thoughts on Friendship in the Digitial Age

One of my favorite activities is to pick an area of life where I need improvement and to work hard to make a change. I can only focus on one thing at a time, and that focus is what drives results. I’ve made big changes and little changes using this approach. One of my great regrets of the past six years is my lack of new meaningful friendships. I have friends from college that I connect with, but I haven't built many new friendships. It’s an area of my life that I’m working to improve. Before I can make great friends, I need to be a great friend.Read Article

The Genius of the Family

Experiential knowledge is the most valuable of all. When Alison and I went to the hospital to deliver our new daughter, we wanted what all parents want: a healthy child. Minutes after Felicity came into the world, she began to deviate from that script. As if she was living out an episode of House, MD, her condition was both perplexing and terrifying. Her symptoms followed the criteria for one condition, only to swerve to a whole new condition. Her care team was chasing a ghost, and one that would not be easily diagnosed.Read Article

Respect People

The Catholic Church’s position on life is unimpeachable. Every human person has inherent dignity and the right to live from the moment of conception to their natural death. Arguably, the Catholic Church is the biggest champion of human rights and dignity in our world today. There are no exceptions and the Church speaks out against violations of the dignity of the human person in all quarters. Whether it be immigration, human trafficking, forced sterilizations, abortion, pornography, IVF, or the poor, the Church fights valiantly on the international, national, regional, and local levels to correct injustices.Read Article

I Hate Facebook. So I Did Something About It

I recently received an email from Facebook congratulating me on my 10 year anniversary on the network. While I’m sure they had a heavily researched intention behind the email, I found it to be both striking and frightening. In the first place, I found it striking how in such a fickle market, they’ve endured for so long. While others have come and gone, Facebook remains. In the second place, I found it frightening when I considered just how much of my life I’ve lost to Facebook.Read Article

Sick of Reality TV

Television programming has the unique ability to bring people together. Perusing Twitter after an episode of “The Bachelor” or checking out the blogs after an explosive episode of any popular show gives one the sense of just how transcendent it can be. One of the more popular genres of television programming in the past decade has been the rise of so-called “Reality TV.” The thing is, none of it is real, and I’m sick of it.Read Article

Overwhelmed with Gratitude

Life is full of grand adventure. Our emotions, and the circumstances around us, can cast us into profound sadness or propel us to extreme happiness. We all have a tendency to take things for granted, so when we’re in the times of great joy, we should remember to acknowledge the source from which all blessings flow.Read Article

The Dinner Opportunity

We tend to overlook the dinner opportunity. Thanks to the rise in popularity of cooking shows, I think we’re beginning to appreciate the role that food plays in our lives. In fact, if you watch any home renovation show, people often look to upgrade their kitchens before any other room in the house. We need food for survival, but in the midst of a busy day, food serves a much greater purpose. Meals are a time for rest, relaxation, and for the family, an opportunity to come together.Read Article

Failure to Communicate

I often feel that our ability to communicate is falling into the trap of diminishing returns. New forms of communication, at their start, are very pure. They focus on connecting people in a very personal and intimate way. Over time, external pressures on communications providers cause a dilution of the purity. Communication becomes less about sharing a story, experience, or memory, and more about a transaction.Read Article

Grading Your Performance

It’s a good idea to think about your performance as a man and husband in terms of a grading scale. In days past, while you were still in school, you had some subjects that came easily to you in which you easily achieved an A with little effort. In some other subjects, you had a natural ability, but had to apply yourself more and may have hovered in the B range. Finally, there were (hopefully only) a few areas where you truly lacked a natural ability and had to work diligently to achieve a commendable grade. Life really is no different.Read Article

A Balanced Social Life

The interview season is in full swing for Alison. We're about 18 months from graduation and her schedule is full of calls, phone interviews, and soon we'll be travel to conduct site visits. It's very exciting to finally see all of her work paying off, but it's also exciting for us on the social front as well.Read Article

The Entitled, Envious Millennials

I read an interesting opinion article in the Wall Street Journal that took on the issue of a generation of disrespectful children. In the article, the physician writes about his experience of children being overtly disrespectful to their parents during his office visits. While the author acknowledges that not all children misbehave, it's much more prevalent than it was 20-30 years ago. Interestingly, he cites research that demonstrates that disrespectful children, "are more likely to grow up to be anxious and depressed, three times more likely to be overweight, more likely to be fragile, less healthy and less creative, compared with respectful children."Read Article

Honor Your Mother

During the years when my dad was in the Air Force, he seemed to find himself frequently in jobs that deployed on a regular basis. As a fighter pilot, his squadron was often sent to the desert for 90 days at a time. While it was a somewhat manageable amount of time compared to the length of deployments that other service families have had to endure in the past decade, the frequency was fairly brutal. During those times of deployment, my mom was left mostly alone to care for us.Read Article

Be Social After Mass

One of my favorite memories growing up was being social after Mass. This likely had more to do with the copious amounts of doughnuts available in the narthex or Parish hall, but there was something fun and refreshing about not racing home immediately after Mass ended. We got to know the people in the pews, made friends, and I would often get a little excited when I saw people from Church out in the world running errands. That's what good community is.Read Article

Gratitude is at the Heart of the Christian Life

Today, we celebrate the amazing Thanksgiving. Although this humble holiday tends to get trampled on by shopping deals and the upcoming Christmas season, it’s actually one of the most important days of the year. Thanksgiving is all about gratitude, which is a central theme of the Christian life.Read Article

Disengage This Holiday Season

I have a challenge for you this Thanksgiving and Christmas: disengage.Read Article

Rethinking Together Time

Is residency over yet? With just under 18 months to go, I'm so done with all of this. Alison's schedule, the shifting sands, and lack of predictability in future planning. It's a part of the process, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it. As a part of this whole experience, Alison and I have really had to spend time rethinking what we need when it comes to time together.Read Article

The Value of Sharing

The world is an incredibly noisy place, even more so now that the Internet gives a bullhorn to anyone who wants one. There’s a great richness in this open flow of communication. We now get to hear the stories, voices, and viewpoints of a whole range of people that we wouldn't get to hear otherwise. A quick glance at your Facebook news feed and you'll find a plethora of stories liked or commented on by your friends. In this noisy world, we're foragers for each other.Read Article

Cherish Your Father

Benedict has started behaving like a two year old just a few months early. He’s usually loads of fun, but he can also test my patience. He'll be cute and cuddly at one moment and melting down in the next. It's all part of the deal when it comes to being a father. This experience of fatherhood has helped me to better recognize a great blessing that I had growing up and still have today: a great dad.Read Article

Coping with Loss

It's said that we tend to experience God in times of tribulation more than in our daily life. People who have no trials, sorrows, or sufferings struggle to know God because human instinct says that there's no need of God when all is well. The mark of a saint is one who relies on God in all seasons of life, both good and bad. At one time or another, we'll all experience loss and in those times, we should both pray and celebrate lifeRead Article

Behind Every Great Warrior is A Great Family

We owe a great debt to our current military members and to all veterans who’ve honorably served. While it's plainly evident that their sacrifice, courage, and willingness to serve deserves to be recognized, we ought not overlook those people who stand right behind them: their families. Families of military members and Gold Star families, those who's loved one died in the line of duty, sacrifice every day right alongside service members. Let's not forget those who stand behind and in support of our warriors.Read Article

Resolve Conflicts

Far too many of us carry around burdens that we don't have to endure. Mistakes from the past haunt our daily lives and direct our actions. The guilt remains because, although time has passed since the incident, it remains unresolved. In the spiritual life, we have the Sacrament of Confession. The Sacrament is a time to talk it out, and receive forgiveness for our past mistakes. In our interpersonal lives, we need to make amends. Don't let your mistakes be enduring.Read Article

Know Your Story

In the not too distant past, I didn't care much about my family's genealogy. I knew about my parents and my grandparents, and that was sufficient for me. This viewpoint was completely the opposite of Alison's, which espoused the joy and adventure of both learning about your history and then going to visit those places. While studying abroad, she took a few trips to European ancestral hometowns and got a small taste of what her ancestors saw and did. For whatever reason, last year, I became intensely interested in my family’s story and embarked on a family genealogy project to learn all about my family tree. I've concluded that by understanding your family's story, you can better understand yourself.Read Article

How to Help Your Wife Live Her Dreams

Alison has been accepted into a medical Natural Family Planning course later this year. I'm not sure how long this has been a dream of hers, but a year into her medical career, I know that she's eager to live this dream. It's important that while you're chasing your dreams, you ensure that you're doing all that you can to support your wife's. After all, she supports you in everything that you do.Read Article

How to Spend More Time with Your Wife

Earlier this year, during one of Alison's many rotations, she was assigned to a hospital about 45 minutes away. Her shift was from 7am - 7pm daily with the exception of Wednesday, meaning that her schedule and Benedict's schedule aligned very poorly. In fact, during the week, with the exception of Wednesday and the weekend, she often wouldn't see him at all. To help alleviate the loss that all three of us felt, twice during the month Benedict and I drove her to work and then went on an adventure.Read Article

One Trick to Love Your House More

To say that our house has a yard would be a stretch. We have a patch of land next to our house that contains nothing but weeds. Certainly there's a wide variety of weeds, and they're all green, but I don't think I've been able to spot a single blade of grass anywhere near our house. Yet, now that we have a "yard," I've been very keen to take care of the exterior appearance of our home. Earlier this Spring, Alison and I spent almost an entire day outside, trimming hedges, putting down mulch, and planting all sorts of flowers and vegetables. As a point of pride, we take care of our home's exterior.Read Article

Try A Different Mass

We all have personal preferences. Our personality usually shows forth when we choose to act on those preferences. For example, when it comes to loading the dishwasher, I have a very specific way that I like to have things organized. It's partly because I like order and partly because I’m incredibly inefficient when I don’t load as I normally do. Our personal preferences even show forth at Mass. Each Mass has its own culture, so if you don't like the atmosphere at your Mass, try a different one.Read Article

Open Wide the Doors

Over the Memorial Day Weekend, Alison and I didn't have much going on. She had to work on Saturday and we didn't have any plans to go anywhere or do anything on either Sunday or Monday. I was in the mood to have some people over, so we invited my parents and one of Alison's colleagues over for a cookout. The weather was scorchingly hot, but we ended up with a delicious meal of hamburgers, chips, and key lime bars. Alison and I do occasionally entertain friends, usually about one hangout every other month. Our Memorial Day gathering reminded me that entertaining friends is a lot of fun and that we should be doing it more often.Read Article

Plan A Sunday Adventure

While Alison and I moved to Virginia a little over a year ago, it wasn't until a few weeks ago that we actually did some serious exploring in our town. The gorgeous weather enticed us to go on a Sunday drive. These drives have largely fallen out of favor among American families since the rise of gas prices over the past decade. We drove around and discovered a huge sports complex, some really nice housing, and discovered that our town has an unbelievable number of churches. Sunday drives are about family, adventure, and most of all, relaxation. We need to rediscover that lost art.Read Article

Cousin Time

Earlier this Spring, I took Benedict to my aunt's house for a play date. My aunt lives about 90 minutes away from us and three of her four children were home at the time. My cousins range in age from 16 to 23 and I've always been close to them. Benedict had an absolute ball stalking their cat, watching their dogs, exploring a new house, and playing with his cousins. The day was great for me too, and it was a great reminder to make time to play and have fun with your extended family.Read Article

Dress Up for Mass

Growing up, my family always dressed up for Mass. Though I recognize how expensive it must've been for my parents to dress three growing kids in nice clothes for Church, my brother and I always had on slacks and occasionally a blazer while my sister wore nice dresses. These days, Sunday is just about the only day during the week when I dress up. As my small business has me mostly doing web design for clients during the week, I'm typically wearing a graphic t-shirt and some plaid shorts. There's something really nice about Sunday morning putting on a suit, tie, and some nice shoes.Read Article

Be Neighborly

I have a terrible track record of being neighborly. In the five years since moving out on my own, I've really only been friendly with one neighbor. It actually makes me a bit sad because having great neighbors is one of the best parts of the communal living experience. People looking after each other, enjoying each other's company, and sharing life together can enhance the lives of everyone involved. Perhaps I'll find that neighborly spirit when Alison and I buy our first home in a few years. Regardless of where we live, we all need to reclaim a strong sense of community in our neighborhoods.Read Article

Quality Time Takes Time

The difference between men and women becomes abundantly clear when it comes to quality time. For men, quality time is like any other allocated time during the day, a set period of time with specific objectives that, once complete, can be moved on from. Women tend to have a more fluid concept of quality time. It's an undetermined length of time and is fulfilled after a certain level of connectedness is reached. In order to help reconcile these differences, I've concluded that we men just need to concede this point. You can't rush quality time and expect meaningful results.Read Article

Dad the Driver

Family road trips are the stuff of legend. Earlier this year, Alison, Benedict, and I rented a van and made the 12 hour drive to Michigan. It was my first trip driving a minivan since I was in high school and boy was having all of that space nice! In my family, my dad would always drive on our road trips. Now that I'm the dad doing the driving, I know that providing a safe and comfortable trip for my family is a great experience.Read Article

Take Advantage of Living Close

Thankfully, for the nearly three years of our marriage, Alison and I have always lived close to family. That wasn’t my experience growing up as my family moved across the country and around the world. While living in Michigan, we were about 2 miles from her parents and now that we’re living in Virginia, we're about 90 minutes from my parents. It's been a new and somewhat strange experience to see my family on a regular basis. In Michigan, we'd often go over to Alison's parents house for dinner and about once a month now, my dad comes over to go to breakfast with Benedict and I. I know that this closeness won't last since life changes will inevitably to spread us apart, but I'm making a conscious effort to take advantage of the close proximity while I can.Read Article

Be Ok Being Alone

It used to be that I'd take my regular walks alone. Before Benedict arrived, and even in his first few months of life, while it was bitterly cold outside, I'd spend about an hour a day doing my walk in solitude. I'd have a set path that I'd take and while walking I'd listen to podcasts. It was a great time to clear my head, be alone with my thoughts, and think. I'd encourage you to find some time in your week to clear your head by being alone.Read Article

It's Okay to Rest

Go, go, go, go. The frantic pace of our lives has gotten really out of control. We run all day at work, only to get home and have precious few hours to recharge our batteries before starting a new day. Of course, those hours are often broken up by more work in the form of business emails, finishing up presentations, and work on other projects. We've become a culture that celebrates busyness for the sake of busyness, to the detriment of our wellness. The employee who works all day and goes home to work for several more hours is praised as a performer. The employee who works for 8 hours and then goes home and rests is reprimanded and regarded as lazy. We've forgotten that rest isn't a bad thing, and that it actually allows us to move forward.Read Article

Do Something Amazing This Summer

Believe it or not, the summer months are upon us! Schools will soon be shuttering their doors for the season and temperatures will continue to rise, allowing for a more robust daily outdoor schedule. Summer signals more than just a season of rest, relaxation, and recreation; it signals the midpoint of the year.Read Article

Sunday Afternoons

I love Sunday afternoons. Many people don't really like them since they start to feel the Monday creep, but for me, I find them to be incredibly relaxing. All of the housework was done on Saturday, leaving the docket completely clear on Sunday. These wonderful afternoons are also the perfect time for some much needed family time.Read Article

At Home in Church

I try to make it to Confession at least once a month and typically end up making it about twice per month. With the long lines at my parish, I have lots of time to think and meditate while I wait for my turn to receive absolution and a fresh start. I usually go on Saturday mornings when Confessions are heard right after the morning Mass. While in line, I'm able to observe fellow parishioners and their families soak up the replenishment that God's house offers. I feel a real sense of peace waiting in that line, one that reminds me that God's house is my home.Read Article

Peace Starts At Home

When we were younger, my brother and I fought. A lot. This was to the benefit of my sister, since our punishment was typically to work together cleaning the kitchen, meaning she had months of practically no kitchen cleaning chores. I remember, after one disagreement, my dad telling us, "If we can't have peace at home, how can we expect to have peace in the world?" Following the news of the conflict in the Ukraine makes me grateful to be an American. I'm grateful that we have safety and security in our own homes and neighborhoods and don't go to sleep at night afraid that our house will accidentally be shelled by artillery.Read Article

Preprare for Adventure

I don't know where I'll be living in two years. In fact, I can only think of one other time in my life when I lived in a house for more than two years, and that was my Junior and Senior years of high school. During college I was only living at home part of the year, meaning that my current stint in Virginia will be the longest I've ever lived in one place. As of right now, Alison and I have no idea where we'll move when she graduates from residency, but I know it'll be an adventure.Read Article

Integrate with Your In-Laws

One of the biggest changes for any newly married couple is feeling out the relationship with your in-laws. In-laws get a bad rap, some rightfully so. However, for the most part, your in-laws are simply a new family that you're now a part of. It can certainly be awkward, after all, they've spent a lifetime together and have a vast trove of inside jokes and shared memories. Although there can be some awkward moments, the best approach is to fully integrate with your spouse's family. Don't settle for being an outsider.Read Article

Missing Alison

Alison's work schedule is, at times, a real challenge for me. On her month of nights, she'd be at home and awake from about noon to 5pm and then gone or asleep for the rest of the day. Some mornings I'd even crawl back into bed for a nap while she was sleeping just so we could be together.Read Article

Support Our Priests

Growing up, priests were a constant presence in my house. My parents were very diligent in cultivating relationships with the priests at our parish, even as we moved across the country and around the world. Perhaps more notably, they made sure to continue these relationships, even when a particular priest was reassigned or we moved. I think that having the opportunity to get to know our priests on a more personal level, besides just seeing them at Mass, was instrumental in me discerning a possible vocation to the priestly life. Knowing them, I was able to better see myself being one of them.Read Article

Honor the Dead

Today is the 12th anniversary of my maternal Grandfather's death. It’s a special day for me because I had the privilege of being with him when he died. Growing up, I didn’t have much time to spend with my paternal grandparents, both having died by the time that I was in 2nd grade. I was fortunate to have most of my childhood with my maternal grandparents. My mom's dad died when I was in 8th grade and my mom's mother died when I was in college, but developed dementia starting shortly after my grandfather had died. I really looked up to, and still do, my mom's parents. I treasure the memories that we made together. In fact, many of the crafts that I made with my grandparents can be found in Benedict’s room.Read Article

There Will Be Stress

In marriage you share everything, including stress. You won't find that little jewel printed on any brochure and you most likely didn't hear it in your pre-marriage counseling, but it's the truth.Read Article

Kids Are Raised by the Community

Mass has become a bit of a struggle. For whatever reason, I didn't anticipate that Benedict would reach an age where he can't be entertained enough to be able to stay in Church for an entire Mass. For weeks now, Alison and I have had to take turns taking him to the back of Church and play with him there.Read Article

Tell Your Kids Their Story

These days, things are changing rapidly in the world of Benedict. He's getting pretty good a mimicking, a few new words come out of his mouth weekly, and he's dangerously close to figuring out how to walk-any day now he'll start running around the house.Read Article

Family Traditions

Growing up, I lacked, in a certain sense, roots. Most children get to experience what I like to call the "Tree House Childhood." They grow and live, for the most part, in 1 or 2 homes. There are growth charts on a door frame, a tree house in the backyard, and stories of the same teacher instructing all of the siblings.Read Article

How to Schedule Family Time

As families grow and mature, they all face the same essential problem: with all of the different schedules, how do we spend time together? More importantly, how does the family spend time together on a regular basis?Read Article

Clean House, Happy Wife

I love a clean house and a fresh start in the morning. I get up and work for about two hours until Benedict stirs and demands breakfast. Lately, I’ve been refining my evening routine to allow for more time to pick-up the house before bed.Read Article

Surround Your Marriage with Friends

The life of a young single person is filled with friendships of all degrees. Think back to your college days and the boundless number of friends that you had. Each relationship achieved a particular purpose. They weren't formed out of some utilitarian purpose, rather, as each friendship was cultivated, it ended up meeting some need that you each had.Read Article

Don't Bury Your Talent

I used to work for a non-profit. My job was to go into communities and start youth programs. The biggest obstacle I faced every time I tried to get a program started was getting the parents involved. It seemed like no matter where I was, urban, rural, affluent, poor, parents just didn’t want to volunteer. There were some very notable exceptions, but by and large, most parents that I met seemed pretty absentee.Read Article

Priorities Matter

Our lives are full of priorities. Some things are simply more important than others. Making the right choices can drastically improve your quality of life.Read Article

Change Sarts At Home

I want to live in a world that doesn’t have me in the center.Read Article

Family Time on a Weeknight

Family life is central to the Catholic experience. While we gather as a community to celebrate the Sacraments, the majority of the Church’s work happens at home, in the family. While busyness and a multitude of weeknight activities fill the family calendar, it’s important to spend time together each evening.Read Article

Fun in Your Community

One of the tragedies of our technological world is that we’ve stopped using our local resources.Read Article

Waking Up Together

As I write this, it’s 5:18am on a Wednesday morning. I’ve been up for 38 minutes. So far, I’ve weighed in, made coffee, spent time in meditation, and began my writing for the day. All of this is possible because, when the alarm rang at 4:40am, both Alison and I got up at the same time.Read Article

Marriage Rules, Secularism Drools

Many people, perhaps a good segment of your friends and peers, have a negative view of marriage. Some believe it’s modern slavery, others see it as a roadblock to fulfilling their dreams, and a few even find the idea of having a single sexual partner for life impossible, or at the very least undesirable. Your experience of marriage is shaped by your attitude towards the Sacrament, not the petty opinion of someone else.Read Article

Scheduling Together

The most powerful tool in your marriage is your calendar. Your calendar will always show you what you think is actually important.Read Article

Game Night

Families today are busy. Parents are working multiple jobs, kids are going to school during the day and then participating in extracurricular activities until late in the evening. With all of these divergent schedules, it can be hard to have regular family time.Read Article

Working in Your Strengths

Lifelong marriage can at times be a challenging relationship. In fact, your marriage will be the most complex and intricate relationship that you’ll manage. You are closer to your wife than you even were with your parents.Read Article

What A Nice Compliment

As a society that strives for absolute equality, we’ve really missed the boat on something key. In our rush to make sure that we don’t offend anyone or hurt their feelings, we’ve given up on the idea that being unequal in some things might actually be a good and beneficial thing.Read Article

Be Prepared to Give

Being married means living selflessly in a selfish culture.Read Article

You're the Servant of All

The Pope has many titles. Perhaps most intriguing is “Servant of the Servants of God."Read Article

The Best Way to Unite Your Family

As the head of your household, you’ve got a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. You’re tasked with protecting and nurturing your family. You’re also responsible for their spiritual well being. As husbands, we need to do all that we can to keep our family together.Read Article

A Fresh Start, Daily

If you’re like me, you’re really good at making mistakes. Oftentimes, you’ll reach expert level in your mistakes. When you get stuck in a rut, what does it take to get you out and back on the right path?Read Article

Families Can't Get No Respect

Having kids makes life a little bit more challenging. It’s not without joy, but things just take a little longer. Gone are the days when you and your wife decide to hop in the car and go shopping. Trips take extra preparation, and they can be a challenge.Read Article

Subject Matter Authority

Last month I achieved a major milestone for both myself personally and for Catholic Husband. We released our first book, The Transition. I was both overwhelmed and touched with the response! One of the commenters, a veteran of the married life, commented on his first experiences of reading Catholic Husband. He remarked that initially he wondered what he could learn from me, a kid new to the game. It wasn’t meant in a disparaging way, he was just stating a fact. A fact that I fully agree with.Read Article

Your Marriage

Your marriage was meant for good.Read Article

Celebrate Achievements

Life is a scoreboard. We set goals and then measure our progress against them. While this goal-setting process can be ruthless in the workplace, it’s difficult to make it through life without a couple of big wins. But sometimes going too far in your celebrations can overshadow the accomplishment.Read Article

Supporting Your Wife's Goals

In the past, I’ve written about personal goal setting. What about helping your wife when she’s got a goal set for herself?Read Article

Grocery Shopping

Our appetite for adventure in life is constantly growing. Once we achieve a new height, we look for the next challenge. It’s natural to seek this progression, but it can cause us to miss some wonderful life experiences. We end up focusing on weeks and months while missing days and minutes. One of those things that can be a joy that is often overlooked is grocery shopping.Read Article

Dinner At the Table

Managing family life is a challenge. With family members running in all different directions, getting everyone together can require some real effort. A great time to get everyone together is around the dinner table.Read Article

The Richness of Shared Experiences

Shared experiences are a powerful force in our world. There are defining events across regions and nations that give people a bond. For example, most Americans will all remember what it was like during the Arctic Blast of 2014. These types of shared experiences are so important in your married life.Read Article

Maintaining A Household

The days of being a slob are over. You’re no longer a bachelor, you’re married. Well, unless your wife is a slob, too, I guess.Read Article

Avoiding Neglect

We’re men. We’re hard charging. We’re all about getting stuff done. But how do you do that while not ignoring your family?Read Article

The Genius of Marriage

The place of marriage in society is something that is being fiercely questioned in our world today. What is marriage? What is its purpose? Why do we give married couples certain benefits? As Catholics, it is quite clear. Marriage is both unitive and procreative and benefits are granted by the State because the State has a vested interest in the regeneration of its population in stable homes.Read Article

Safe in Her Arms

Many of us have some major trust issues. We've all been hurt deeply by someone we love. Those experiences can be traumatizing to us at the time. They can also have lasting effects on our future relationships.Read Article

Invite Her to Your Element

A great thing about being married is that your spouse is not you.Read Article

Transitioning from Single Life to Married Life

It's not hard to make the argument that the transition from the single life to the married life is pretty extreme. You go from a position of looking out for your interests to taking on the responsibility to maintain a household. Whoa.Read Article

Support

We humans yearn to be connected.Read Article

Community of Prayer

One evening I was traveling home from work. It was a nice summer evening, the sun had set and the city streets were alive.Read Article

Carry On

There’s only one thing you can do when you fail: carry on.Read Article

The Joy of Weddings

Now that I have been married for almost a year, I have had the pleasure of experiencing several weddings of family and friends.Read Article

Make Evenings Count

My job frequently results in me working evenings. It isn’t particularly fun, it is just a fact of life. Of course, I make up for my hours by starting work later in the day.Read Article

Participating in Each Other's Work

Work is a key piece of our lives. Through work we do two things: we provide for our family and we use our God given talents to glorify Him and bring value to the life of others.Read Article

Single Life to Community Life

When my wife and I got married, I had been living in the apartment that we would live in for about four months. Since we lived close, she had spent many meals and evenings over at the apartment. At the end of the evening, she would go back to her home.Read Article

You Marry the Family

My grandfather once told my mother that, when you marry someone, you marry their family.Read Article

Coming Home

Coming home can be the best part of your day! Your work is over, and you get to now focus on the things you want to focus on: your wife and your family.Read Article

Family Merging

When you get married, you become something totally new.Read Article

A New Identity

In our life, we experience many transformations. We change from a child into an adolescent and an adult. We're no longer the person that we used to be. The same thing happens when we get married.Read Article