When I was first preparing to transition to my new life as a stay-at-home dad, there was a movement happening within the writing circles that I followed. I wanted to see what other writers were doing and hoped to pick up some tips and tricks from them. I wanted learn how to write better. One of the authors that I followed was Jon Acuff. At that time, he was talking in detail about the right way to handle your side project. One of his biggest takeaways was that you should should be selfish at 5am.
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When you think about your overall health, or even your performance as a stay-at-home dad, I want you to think in terms of balance. Like a body builder who ensures that his routine doesn't neglect any major group of muscles, take the time to work on each major aspect of your life. That’s what this chapter is all about. Your intellectual growth is just as important as your spiritual or physical health. Reading before bedtime can also be a great sleep aid. On nights when I read immediately before laying down, I will typically fall asleep in minutes.
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The gift of self-awareness is one that few bother to develop. In the midst of our busyness, we become numb. The curiosity of our youth fades, until we go through the motions of life without admiring the beauty and truth around us. Our bodies send us hints and signals throughout the day, telling us exactly what we need. Our lack of curiosity leads us to respond to those subtle cues inappropriately or ignore them altogether. Developing a sense of self-awareness can help us give our bodies just what they need.
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There’s something natural about self-criticism. We see ourselves in pictures, and we instantly focus on our faults and imperfections. In many ways, those pictures don’t align with the way that we see ourselves. I had an incredible experience of taking a picture that I felt perfectly captured me. I saw in that image the physical transformation that I’ve undergone this year. It reminds me of the overwhelming power of redemption. No matter how far gone we are, there’s always a way back.
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Praying with little kids is often a difficult experience. While I try to set a good example, my kids often fiddle, wander, or play. As it turns out, they’re not being disrespectful. When little kids fiddle, they’re really engaged in the activity. It’s how they listen, process, and understand things. They may not say the words, but they hear and know them. It can be frustrating when they refuse to pray, but giving them their space has its benefits. One day, the switch will flip, and it’s a beautiful thing.
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My experience with mindfulness is a bit checkered. I’ve used a few of the popular apps out there to learn the practice, to some degree of success. For one reason or another, though, the habit just didn’t stick. I’d loathe the 10 minutes of silence, totally defeating the purpose. Mindfulness finally clicked for me when I connected it to my faith. No longer was I seeking to focus solely on myself; rather, I was taking time to intimately be with God.
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Seven years ago, Alison and I started our life together. Captured so perfectly in the photograph in the banner of this website, the years have passed by with a considerable amount of joy. Our home is now filled with three bubbly children. They play, laugh, and interact with one another. We’ve grown, changed, and continued to get to know each another. In many ways, our marriage reflects the work of our engagement.
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Just before moving two years ago, Alison and I went furniture shopping. We had gotten by for four years with the furniture that we had each brought into our marriage. We were ready to trade up. Something that I really wanted was a real dining room table. As a military family, the dining room table was a staple of my childhood. No matter where we moved, or what house we were in, we always ate at the table.
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I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on the mass shootings gripping our society. Young men, disaffected and isolated, suffering from mental illness, take up arms and attack unsuspecting victims in acts of extreme violence. These events are things that we’re used to seeing in Europe, Asia, or the Middle East. We’re not accustomed to hearing about them happening in our schools, offices, and shopping centers.
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Expectations of fathers change over time. There was a period of time where the only requirement of fathers was to pursue their career for the good of the family. This is the nuclear age,
Leave it to Beaver, model in which the mother manages the children, the shopping, and the cleaning. The man would get up, get ready for work, and come downstairs to a prepared breakfast. Same thing in reverse for his arrival at the end of the day.
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