Catholic Husband

Bloom

Mon, 18 May 2026 08:00:00 -0400

Early last winter, Alison planted tulips in our backyard. There was an area of dead space where a sandbox sat for untold years. My yard is very shady and struggles to thrives, so instead of fighting the uphill battle, it became the default planter for our tulip bulbs. After months of cold hibernation, the bulbs are starting to bloom.

For the moment, the view is lovely. Every season has its merits and its beauty, and the pure brilliant white of crystalline snow has given way to the symphony of floral colors. I know, though, that before too long, the flowers will fall to the ground and all that’s left will be green leaves.

All of that work, months of waiting in cold darkness, and the tulip bulb produces a single flower per year. For the rest of its time above the surface, its leaves pull in as much sunlight as it can to produce next year’s flower. In a way, it feels like a waste. 11 and a half months of plainness and anonymity for two weeks of color. What’s the use?

If you want permanent beauty, buy art. Landscapes, flowers, even abstract pieces offer bursts of color that can be enjoyed and interpreted day after day. This is not the role of the tulip. The tulip is to remind us of the magic of creation all around us. The lifecycles in our biosphere that quietly roll on, year after year, without our intervention. If the tulip were in bloom for weeks or even months, it would lose some of its sweetness. The yellows, reds, and pinks would fade into the landscape. The point of the tulip is to savor its richness while it is in full bloom.

The tulip is just one flower. There are countless varieties, each on their cycle, that grow out of the ground, leaf, and flower, before starting the cycle all over again. They bloom at different times throughout the season, offering wave-upon-wave of new growth. They are meant to be appreciated, enjoyed, and savored apart from all other flowers.

Our existence within creation is filled with these little delights, scatted throughout the calendar and seasons. Little reminders of God’s goodness, and the brilliance of His work not only in us, but in the created order. There is a time and season for everything, and we are given the grace of experiencing it all, year after year.

Childlike

Mon, 11 May 2026 08:00:00 -0400

Jesus’ love for children is shared in story after story. This is not really a mystery; while a cynic may think of them as gullible or easily led, Jesus can see their heart. Children are not jaded or hardened by the world, and in that way make themselves more receptive to God’s work in their life.

At some point, we all learn that we have to pretend. Whether to fit in or be accepted, we change who we are exteriorly and ensconce our true selves deep inside. Though we are seeking comfort, we tell ourselves a lie. Through this play theater, we tell ourselves that who we truly are is not good enough. The danger of this lie is that it runs counter to God’s truth: we are wonderfully and fearfully made.

Whenever I want to challenge my thinking, I think about space. Earth is a massive place; even America is of size. It can take me two full days of driving at 70 miles per hour and I still can’t go from one end to the other. Zooming out, Earth is floating in a vast expanse of emptiness so large that I cannot comprehend it. This expansiveness is akin to the things of God. His goodness, His love, His wisdom, His everything is so wide, so complete, so whole that my brain just cannot process it.

It’s like St. Peter walking on water. When he believed that he could, through the power of God, walk across the flowing waters, he did. Then he did what we all do; he doubted. Suddenly, he collapsed into the waves and had to be saved. When St. Peter accepted what Jesus said in an act of childlike surrender, he experienced God’s power. When he doubted, placing his trust in himself, he failed.

Childlike does not mean unthinking. God created the animals, but He didn’t enter into relationship with them. He gave them instinct, not intellect. He doesn’t force Himself on anyone, nor impose His love on those who reject it. Children run to adults and embrace them, or cry the second someone they would rather not be near picks them up. Childlike means accepting the Word of God and embracing it wholly because of the trust we have in its Source.

Trusting in God rather than ourselves is a great act of moral courage, and even when we do have a powerful experience of God, maintaining that trust is difficult. Our brains, and occasionally, our hearts, tug us in the wrong direction out of an instinctual attempt to protect us. But we don’t need protection from God or His Will in our lives. We need to find ourselves at rest in Him when we lay everything down. When He promises us the great things He has prepared, we only need to accept and participate in His plan, which is far and away better than anything we could’ve dreamed up for ourselves.

Church Family

Mon, 04 May 2026 08:00:00 -0400

Spend a few months attending the same Mass at your parish, and you’ll grow accustomed to the faces and families. The elderly couple that sits two pews ahead of you, the family with five small children, the college students who impressively show up every week. The faces and familiarity builds a degree of comfort and a sense of belonging. Though you may not know their names or their story, their regular presence subtly contributes to a sense of normalcy.

Our weekly attendance at Mass is a requirement of our faith, but like all other requirements imposed on our lives by the Church, they are done so for our benefit and edification. Prayer is meant to be intensely personal and regularly communal. Jesus spent very specific times in prayer alone, withdrawing from everyone to catch His breath and connect directly with His Father. He also spent lots of time in His public ministry praying and worshiping in groups large and small. He reiterates the importance of communal prayer when He shares wherever two or more are gathered in His name.

Sadly, many regard this sacred obligation unnecessary or burdensome. What they perceive as one more thing to do, one more appointment on their busy calendars, is the sustainment we need to endure the challenges of life. Not only is it good for us to gather and pray the highest prayer we have, the Mass, it’s good for us to know that we are not alone. That there are other retirees, young families, and students who value their faith as much as we do. Others who recognize that no matter the stage in life, the Church stands ready to support us.

The best thing about these fellow parishioners whose names we don’t yet know is when we finally do meet. Whether at a Knights of Columbus meeting, a volunteer rummage sale, a parish picnic, or in the basement sheltering from a passing storm, when we finally exchange names and talk for the first time, it feels like connecting with a friend we’ve known for years. There’s an instant depth, a mutual respect, on which to build this new friendship. And a few days later, when you show up to a particularly packed Mass, they greet you with a smile from afar and invite you to sit next to them in their pew.

The bonds of Catholicism and rich and deep. Through the Communion of Saints, we are connected to the living and deceased members of our Church and, though we do not know their names right now, we share in the most precious bond known to man. We belong to God’s family and are always and forever united in the Eucharist.

Scent of Sanctity

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 08:00:00 -0400

There is a moment in our lives, sometime around middle or high school, in which we learned how to pretend. Not the kind of imaginary play that fills the days and hours of a child’s life, but the facade we erect around ourselves. We want to be liked, to be wanted, and so we observe what our friends and peers seem to like, and we make ourselves imitate those things. The treasure of children is their innocence, when the idea of pretend does not even exist in their minds.

In the treasure of this innocence is an openness about the importance of their faith. It could be cynically assumed that children merely parrot what their parents tell them. It’s true, and good, for children to follow the example of parents who labor in every way to instill virtue in their children. But dismissing a child’s words as empty or meaningless is to discount what that innocence unlocks.

Children do say memorized prayers or repeat answers from the Catechism, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the scent of sanctity that wafts off them as they share expressions of faith. A child who dashes to the Marian altar after every Sunday liturgy, who proudly announces as they emerged from their room that they have just prayed the rosary, who begs to go to Eucharistic Adoration on a Friday night, or whose drawings are filled with angels and the saints. This is not a child who is copying their parents; this is a child who has accepted the love of God in the simplest and purest way.

It is admirable when these behaviors present themselves; it might even leave parents wondering how best to respond to cultivate this continued love. Perhaps, though, it is more than just the expression of a child. Perhaps it is a gift from child to parent, a reminder that accepting God’s love is the work of a lifetime, but that we are to approach God with the trust, innocence, and acceptance of children.

Life brings many great pressures, burdens, and challenges. We are not made to carry them alone. The less we trust in ourselves and our abilities, and the more we place that trust in God, the closer we move to Him in our spiritual journey. Every so often all we need to remind us of this important work, in the midst of so many tasks, is a brief waft of the scent of sanctity.

Open to Discomfort

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 08:00:00 -0400

Perspective is the hinge on which our lives turn. We see this in the story of every saint. These men and women faced adversity of every type and kind, some more cruel than others. They lost friends, family, endured exile, suspicion, and torture, gave up the quiet and the comfort for the uncomfortable. Through that crucible, they were remade.

I’ve written many times about comfort and trust, two themes that play out more poignantly each month in our world. It’s easy for us to forget the anxiety of our parents and grandparents as they endured two global wars for freedom, the threat of nuclear apocalypse, and economic collapse. Life today is no simpler, but it is markedly comfortable.

When we’re comfortable, we drift towards mediocrity. Unchallenged, we fall into a malaise in which there is little movement, small momentum, and no growth. The periods in our lives that we look back on with the greatest satisfaction are the times in which we pushed through the difficult things and came out the other side, shockingly, better.

Wincing from pain or shying away from difficulty is a natural reflex. It’s our humanity’s attempt to shield us from danger. But glory is not in idleness, nor is it in sameness. Glory is in the discomfort, where we are pushed to our limits and, at that moment, come into contact with the grace from God to surge us to the next higher level.

Being open to discomfort is an act of courage, and a recognition that we are called to constant renewal. We cannot be truly good, or make room for the better part, if we do not let go of and clear out the things that hold us back.

Building

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 08:00:00 -0400

Parents only get eighteen years with their children. The goal of parenting is to take a child under your wing, raise them up, and then let them fly. Though parenting has all sorts of stressors and challenges, this might be the hardest part of all. While letting go is never easy, the goal of the parent is to raise happy, healthy, productive adults.

When I think about the number 18, it seems very big. Thousands of days, all strung together, most of which are full of tasks and objectives. Not only do the bigger lessons need to be taught, and a lifetime of wisdom imparted, but rooms must be cleaned, stomachs fed, and activities completed. Each day, a single step, a few bricks mortared into place to be the foundation on which their life is built. Still, as the sands slip grain by grain in the timepiece, it’s easy to feel it slipping away.

No two eras of parenting are the same, and none are easy. The infant requires constant attention and guarding, while the teen needs help in different, more complex ways. Each era is a blessing unto itself, and a challenge anew.

Regardless of the time or the season though, it is still the work of building. It takes more than one mistake, or one faulty brick, to collapse a building. It’s the grace of physics and of discipline. A single weak brick in a facade is a problem, but is also supported by the strong bricks all around it. Parenting is not a zero sum scenario, but it does require focus applied over time.

On the late evenings, when the day has been long and many things are left undone, though, it’s easy to keep perspective. And when your son asks if you can build LEGOs together, you leave the kitchen a mess, you head into the basement, and you build.

Freedom

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 08:00:00 -0400

Political science, philosophy, and human history is full of yearning for just governments. While it would be ideal for the perfect government to always act justly, perfectly balancing individual liberties, free markets, and the collective good, our broken human nature puts that possibility unreachable. Governments tend, more often than not, to ignore their citizens and instead focus on the constituency of one: themselves.

Hard as it is to admit, we tend to get the governments we deserve. In democracies, elected officials represent the people who elect them, in nearly every sense of the word. Countries are big places, and there are the selfless and the selfish, the serving and the self-serving. It shouldn’t offend of sensibilities to see in our government a mirror, although it might nudge us closer to virtue.

The story of Christianity, and the reason the religion is so difficult to accept, is its raw paradox. God, the omniscient and omnipotent, uses His power to… become a human. God, in His completeness, chose to create and dignify humanity and is at pains to have them live in relationship with Him. He is the ultimate bridge-builder and chasm-crosser, and His relentless and loving pursuit of us confounds the human mind.

This timeless truth extends further. We long for good rulers and governance, though it is never within our grasp. What does it say that our King governs justly? He only prohibits things that hurt us, no matter how sweet they might seem. He gains nothing from obedience to the Commandments; He’s already complete. Instead, He gives us guardrails for our own good, edification, and glory.

When we look at our government and see ourselves reflected, it fills us with a sense of uncertainly and unease. How much happier we would be to look in the mirror and see God’s goodness reflected in ourselves.

Reconciled

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 08:00:00 -0400

Over the decade plus that I’ve written on this blog, I’ve built a solid habit of receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation. So much of my knowledge today is attributable to the golden age of podcasting and blogging in the 2012-2014 era, and this particular habit finds its roots in Mark Hart. He was on The Catholic Guy Show with Lino Rulli as I was driving across my huge sales territory, and he made a comment that has stuck. He said nothing was more consequential in his life as a husband and father than embracing this sacrament.

In all those years, I’ve gone from a guy who’s just trying to make it through the line as efficiently as possible, to now bringing along three of my four children. Kids make it through Reconciliation quickly, but it’s a different experience. It’s no more just seeing and experiencing reform in my own life; it’s seeing my children lined up in the pew, doing their penance, experiencing the same newness.

Most people yearn for youth and lament their age, but the philosophy in me pulls me in the opposite direction. The wisdom of age is a comfort and gift unto itself, grey hairs starting to show through reflecting that I am now beyond the phase of gathering knowledge and now and pouring it into those who are following behind me.

In youth, I loathed the season of Lent; now I harvest its fruits. In youth, I guiltily avoided Reconciliation; now I embrace the process of refinement. This is the life of the Christian. I do the hard things to make myself a more prefect reflection of Love.

For the time they are home with me, I will bring the children along when I got to Reconciliation. When they are grown and on their own, I hope they, too, will find the sweetness of this special Sacrament, and spend their lives embracing its refining fire.

Push Harder

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 08:00:00 -0400

For the last six years, I’ve built out my collection of pocket knives. The result is an incredible set of American and Italian hand tools designed and built to perfection. Each one is unique, and most are built to last beyond my lifetime. It’s a joy to manage the collection, and select the knife that I’ll carry for the day. This Lent, I gave it up.

I picked one knife that, starting Ash Wednesday, would be the only knife I would carry. For the most part, I haven’t interacted with my collection at all. I think about the other knives three or four times throughout the day, which offers me simple reminders of the season we’re in.

Last weekend, for Laetare Sunday, our pastor had a letter in the bulletin about the significance of this mid-point. The starkness of bare altars and violet vestments give way, for a moment, to flowers and pink vestments. It’s a reminder that though we are observing the penitential season of Lent, the victory is already won. It’s also an inflection point, where we turn our gaze from the desert towards Jerusalem.

When I picked just one knife to carry, I chose one that was easy. The locking mechanism is simple to operate, the blade moves freely, and I knew I could just send it off to be sharpened when all was said and done. That note on Laetare Sunday offered me a new idea. What if it wasn’t easy?

Having no choice in my daily knife is a reminder, but what if I chose a knife that wasn’t easy to open? What if I chose one that I had to mindfully open because its mechanism was built for tolerance, not speed? What if I chose a knife that, at least until I use it much more, would be difficult to open? It’s a shift; easy to hard, Good Friday is coming.

I liked the idea of layering in one more tangible reminder, in the middle of breaking down boxes or cutting a thread off a shirt, of what I’m actually here for and what I’m working towards. Life should not be hard all the time, but choosing something slightly harder, and ignoring the path of least resistance, is a sure path to growth.

Reign

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 08:00:00 -0400

It is said that discipline is destiny, though it is one that few choose to pursue. Discipline is uncomfortable, difficult, and at times, unpleasant. Its fruit, however, is the sweetest of all. A man who fully commands himself is not subject to the agenda of another.

Life is a blank canvas, shaped by our daily choices. Everything about us flows from our choices, and the consequences that they bring into our world. At every daybreak, and even at every moment, we have the power to alter the course of our lives by our choices.

Self-control and discipline, the things Pope Benedict XVI talked about as self-mastery, is not easy. Though it may not be easy, we have sovereignty over our lives. Will we sell that sovereignty for a bowl of beans or a fleeting thrill, or will we reign as kings, and live like one?

These Better Things

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 07:00:00 -0400

The relationship between Creator and created bends the mind. For centuries, theologians and philosophy have plumbed the depths of the reality of God. A Creator who is both perfect in and of Himself, but still chooses to enter relationship with the broken created. Not because they will make Him better or more perfect, but because of the reality of love means that we do for others with no expectation of reciprocity. He engages because His love for us means He wills the best for us.

So many of our plans, designs, and ideas are about elevating ourselves and our lifestyle. It’s the height of responsibility and maturity to build a stable household in which our children can grow, thrive, and launch. But when we compare our plans to those of God’s, we are instantly put in our place. It’s not that we cannot conceive or perceive the good, it’s because our creative and imaginative capacity is dwarfed by the capacity of Love in wanting the very best for us.

There are difficult days in life, and though they could not possible compare to the hardships that Catholics face around the world, or that Jesus endured in His penultimate act of self-giving, they are a challenge to bear nonetheless. We yearn for stability, clarity, and certainty, but when the losses stack up day after day, week upon week, and year after year, it’s an act of moral courage to continue to choose hope and trust.

The wages for hope and trust, for working as if it all depends on us, but trusting because it all depends on God, is a glimpse into the perfection of His design. A series of broken experiences, bad relationships, and difficult employment, in hindsight, are the perfect sequence that unlocks the vocation you were made to live. Regret and pain suddenly are anestized, as they are seen for what they were: specific preparation for the grace and mission to which we are called.

God is at work at every place, and in every moment. Though we may not choose the uncomfortable and downright terrifying experiences that we must undergo, they each slot into place in God’s plan. Not a minute was wasted, not a moment of discomfort was for naught; He makes all things new.

Trust is an easy word to speak, but a daily challenge to endure. He offers us a shared yoke, a place of rest; but to offer our yes to His generosity and His plans, we have to be willing to let go of our own smaller plans. It is the grandest bargain any of us are offered, and the last stumbling block to overcome before we get a foretaste of the greatness for which we were made.

Long Lens

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 08:00:00 -0400

It’s cliché to write about how short-fused we’ve become. In the golden age of comfort, where snacks are delivered to us by strangers or drones at the press of a glass rectangle in our pockets, how can we be anything but insulated? Every pain point, every hint of friction, is sanded and refined away until our entire existence is a glassy, smooth slide from one thing to the next.

There’s nothing wrong with comfort. Many of the things that contribute to our high standard of living is a gift from God. How thankful we should be for the scientific breakthroughs that have alleviated pointless suffering, the electricity that powers our economy, and soft skills that enable us to put food on the table. The age of comfort is not something to be despised, but to be accepted with gratitude. It was built on the hardships of those that came before us.

A struggle that anyone who has focused on their health will eventually encounter is moving from the period of transition to a period of maintenance. If you wake up significantly overweight, with just a few months of intense focus and lifestyle adjustment, you will meaningfully improve your health. But that time of transition is intense, and requires dedication that no one can sustain over a lifetime. Thankfully, once you attain your health goals, maintaining them does not require the same intensity, but it does require commitment. There is no body composition that will tolerate inactivity and ice cream every night. But making that switch, from intensity to intentionality, is where many of us fall off the track.

Our bodies are resilient and adaptable, and they will adjust in rapid succession if you change the parameters quickly enough. But rapid weight loss can result in rapid weight gain if things revert to the mean. The problem is not that we aren’t serious or committed, it’s that we’re using the wrong lens.

Health is a lifetime commitment, and requires long perspective over decades to achieving lasting positive outcomes. We can’t just avoid regular drinking for three or four months, but we have to change our relationship to alcohol. We can’t skip donuts after Mass for a season, but make them the exception, not the rule. When we take a long view, the urgency and hurry dissipate. I’m not skipping donuts just for today, I’m a person who eats foods based on their overall nutrition for my body. I’m not a person who walks when it’s nice outside, I’m a person who walks every day no matter what.

This correlates directly to the spiritual life. We can clean up our act in Lent, and maybe even kick an attachment to sin that we’ve fought for decades. But Lent is a season; holiness is the work of a lifetime. We need to be intense in Lent, we need to shift our focus and get intense, but it should be in service of a larger arc in our story. It should be the season that propels us to the next level, to a deeper love, to a more authentic vocation. The risk this Lent is not that you drink a soda or snack between meals; the risk is that you let the season pass without any real effort.

A long lens is required to achieve the results we want in our physical health and our spiritual health. Every day is an opportunity, but missing any one day won’t break us. We are the Easter people, and that means no matter what, we do the work.

Mother

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 16:27:59 -0400

The theological dynamism of the Holy Family is challenging to comprehend, but easier to grasp is the human dynamic. Jesus was raised by two saints, but Joseph and Mary were not saints while they put in the work. Mary was freed from the inclination to sin, but Joseph was not, and neither were exempted from the challenges of human existence. Relationships, economics, health, all of these factors weighed on them. They had to choose to overcome this crucible.

Mary’s place of reverence is well deserved, and meets the historical context. In ancient Israel, the queen was not the King’s wife, but rather his mother. After all, she was the woman who gifted the kingdom the King and thereby contributed significantly to its stability. That context aside, it would be odd for us to so properly venerate Christ the King and forget all about the people who raised and cared for Him.

Participation in the mystical body of Christ means that we accept Jesus’ parents as our own spiritual parents. Joseph was silent in Scripture and has made few apparitions since his death, while Mary has taken on a much more active role in Church history. In countries around the world, she has appeared, always careful to match the cultural conditions in which her presence is revealed. In local dialect and fashion, she brings messages of great importance. This is the act of a mother gently watching over her children.

Mary sees herself as mother to each of us, in a real and concrete way. This is not a room mom or a house mom, a relationship in a communal form; this is direct and personal connection to each of us. It is the desire of her heart to help us in any way she can, ensuring our safe return to Heaven to be with her Son. This is why the Memorare highlights the reliability of her intercession; a mother would never ignore the heartfelt wishes of her children.

She desires a deep, personal, and warm relationship grounded in real human love, that always points to God. It’s a relationship we should cultivate constantly.

Always Giving

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 07:00:00 -0400

Life as an adult is always busy and always full. It’s why when we return from vacation, we seem to find ourselves exhausted and in need of yet another vacation. Although we might get a quiet day, or weekend, or week, it never seems to be enough. That is because the idea that we will ever be calm and content alone is pure fiction.

The parent gives their energy for their children. The retiree gives their energy getting out of their house and seeking community. The single adult gives their energy preparing for what’s next. In every state and at every era, our energy is directed outward, where it should be.

There must be some degree of discipline and self-care. If we don’t do the little things, we will never have the strength to do the big things. But the desire for peace and calm is always rooted in the context of the family or community. I deeply enjoy the quiet day, weekend, or even week when my children are gone, the house is clean and calm, and my time is my own. When they are in the care of others, the subtle concern that is always alert for them is totally silent. But in those days, I also miss them. The thing that I thought I wanted, solitude, met one need but failed another.

I think the quiet, calm certainty we dream of is really an artifact of our childhood. In those days, others watched over us while we were clueless. We didn’t know how good it was to be protected, to be free to grow, learn, and experiment in the safety. We longed for the freedom and privilege of adulthood, not understanding what we asked for.

This is ordered disorder. Life is difficult and not as it was designed, but the challenges that we face and overcome do prepare us for our eventual return to Eden. The daily work of mending our every flaw is only possible with the time, space, and circumstances that life gives us. It’s why sainthood is always the goal; apart from Mary, no saint started perfect. But with the blessing of life, they had an encounter with God, and then sharpened themselves on the whetstone of human life.

The crown of sainthood is the objective, but what we then do with it brings the nature of our humanity full circle. We do not grasp it for ourselves, but cast it down in honor before the King.

Limitless

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 10:18:29 -0400

The days and years roll by, and now my third child, Lucy, is preparing to receive her First Reconciliation. She is excited and eager for the day, but what is most beautiful in the entire backdrop is how important this moment is for her. She is unlocking a deeply cathartic experience that will support and encourage her for the rest of her life.

The problem with faith is that it requires belief; but the truths that we hold are so deep, so complex, and so awesome that our minds resist. It very well may be that were we to fully comprehend and understand the fullness of even just this Sacrament, it would overcome us.

What is great about this is that God’s design does not require us to understand the full dynamism of the Sacraments; our knowledge has zero impact on the metaphysical reality.

This isn’t to say that we know nothing about it, or that it is performative because we’re clueless. It is to say that the limitations of our human intellect, for this moment, prevents us from gaining the total knowledge of what takes place. After all, we find it so difficult to forgive our neighbor for their sins against the HOA rule. But, in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we experience an outpouring of God’s love and mercy so complete that it is able to overcome any sin that is brought to it. Whether it’s been a day, a week, or a lifetime wasted outside of God’s plan, it has the power to pardon.

After receiving this Sacrament, this week and at every other time in her life, Lucy will emerge as we all do, fully restored to relationship to God and in a similar state to the one she held at the moment of her Baptism. How powerful that would be if we fully surrendered to God’s love and fully internalized this truth. We all love a good comeback story; this is a fresh start in its fullest expression.

God’s truth is limitless, and we are drawn deeper into it the more we live in relationship with Him. The confessional is the wide open gate, always open to us, through which we pass from failure to victory. I hope Lucy will run through it every chance she gets.

Cadence

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 07:00:00 -0400

The paradox of time management is that the less structure there is to the day, the less that gets done. Corporate training programs like to use the rocks in a pitcher example. If you put the small rocks in, the pitcher overflows before the big rocks can be dropped in. However, if you put in the big rocks first, the small ones find little spaces throughout and the water remains contained. A framework to guide the cadence of our day can be helpful in ensuring we do the right things, and that we have situational awareness throughout the day.

The 75 Hard program is challenging not because it requires an extreme workout load, but because it puts real time demands on your day, every day. You not only have to find time to read and slam a gallon of water, you have to find time in the morning and evening for a 45-minute workout of some kind. The failure point is often when participants are overcome by events. The list is too long when piled on top of their already established one. In truth, the daily requirements are the framework that moves you through your day.

If you wake up with a list of eight nonnegotiable, you have to have a clear strategy, and timing, for when you’ll get them done. Some may not be singular events, like drinking a gallon of water, and those push you forward through the day. Time is a finite resource, so to fit it all in, you have to make choices. That means waking up when the alarm goes off, working when you’re on the clock, and avoiding the endless scrolling. It’s not actually overwhelm, it’s the guardrails that you operate within.

A list of things that you must do every day has a greater intent. The items that make it on the list correspond to some specific objective that you have. For me, a daily walk is on there. Walking helps me maintain my health, but I also just feel better throughout the day when I wake up and get it done. The same goes for prayer. These are the big rocks, the important things that give me more than the time they take. They’re worth doing.

There can be little difference between rest and idleness. Rest is to serve a purpose, to recover from something. Idleness is just not doing anything. Rest is earned when the important things are already accomplished; idleness steals the benefits we sought to obtain.

Momentum is huge in every application. With the right list of nonnegotiables and a cadence that keeps pushing you forward, success is inevitable.

Prayer as Ritual

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 07:00:00 -0400

Prayer is the most important thing we can do, and the thing we struggle with the most. Perhaps it’s related to just how open ended it is. Prayer is spontaneous thoughts from your heart, prayer is the Mass, and everything in between. If finding a good place for prayer in your life is a challenge, lean into ritual.

For me, coffee has a special place in my day. I have one cup after breakfast, and one early in the afternoon. I don’t think I need the caffeine, I am naturally a morning person. It certainly helps, but for me, coffee is not a thing or a moment; it’s an experience. My coffee in the morning is a special recipe that must be carefully constructed. It makes travel hard, so much so that I will now bring along the immersion blender that plays a central role. The afternoon is usually cold brew, slowly steeped over a day to pull out a specific flavor.

Drinking coffee, in my day, are two very specific points of time. In the morning, between my workout and starting the workday, and an afternoon pause. The ritual of stopping, following the recipe, and then savoring align perfectly with moments for prayer. This is when my brain slows down, when I am temporarily relieved from my duties and responsibilities, even just for a few minutes. It’s within the context of my coffee ritual that prayer dovetails.

Prayer is a ritual unto itself, and it shares many of the same characteristics of my daily coffee intake. They are moments, relational encounters with the God who made me. They are times for pause, where the weights of daily life can be set aside for calm. By connecting my daily coffee with my daily prayer, I make it easier to fit prayer into my life and enhance the moment.

Now I am no longer simply savoring layers of flavor, I’m connecting in relationship. I’m not just recharging my body, but refreshing my spirit. I I am not sitting on the couch in silence, but grounding myself in my core identity. Time well spent.

Finding time to pray or building a routine of prayer is always a challenge. Make it simpler by finding natural points in your day to connect to prayer. Ritual is a healthy and powerful thing; use it to your advantage.

In Their Proper Order

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 07:00:00 -0400

I think about systems a lot for work, so it’s comical when I find myself obliviously operating within my own broken one. It’s not right for any of us to think of ourselves as having any one single job. We exist at the nexus of many demands and responsibilities, often in acute conflict with one another. In the times when the pressure builds, and time runs short, we have to make executive decisions. Why is it that we always sequence our tasks incorrectly?

The truth is, it’s easier to cut my breakfast out of the schedule than it is to cancel the kids’. I have full autonomy to limit my work hours for the day, I have less running room when it comes to the school agenda. I can sacrifice my walking time in exchange for an hour more of sleep. But while I can do any or all of those things, I really shouldn’t.

Our energy is finite and needs to be managed, along with everything else. If I plan to make breakfast for the children and then my own, I risk exhausting my energy and schedule before it comes time to take care of myself. In the proper order, if I make my breakfast first, I’ll have the energy I need to make the children’s breakfast, and more. How I stumbled into getting that backwards remains a mystery to me.

Doing each thing in its proper order is about more than checking things off of a list. This is especially true if it’s a thinking-system, one that you designed with intention and purpose. I wake up early because it is true that it is the only block of time in my entire day that can be truly my own. But I also wake up early, and walk, because it gives me the energy and focus I need to carry through my day. I eat breakfast not because a commercial suggested it, but because food is the fuel that keeps my body engaged. The same goes for the other things on my list.

I would never neglect my tools the way that I have neglected my body. My body is the physical form that enables me to take care of my children, to serve my clients, and to accomplish the purpose for which I was made. Letting it grind down into inertia is a broken system underpinned by thin logic.

Doing things in the right way ensures that I am prepared, and capable, to manage the priorities and responsibilities of my day. It is a strong logic that ensures that when the moment arrives, I am ready.e

Digital Calm

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 07:00:00 -0400

Though it comes in cycles, we find ourselves again and again looking for a better relationship with our screens. The trouble is, they’re so useful and their makers would prefer us not to entertain such thoughts. We do need our time, attention and focus, but I think the deeper desire that we’re not fully expressing is that we want digital calm. We want the tools to support us throughout our day, but not distract us from the beauty of life.

There are many layers that describe why we feel this pull, but the simplest reason is the actual design of the software. Colors, density, and delight are all engaging, especially when we sense the connection between our favorite apps and the things they do for us. When seeking calm, perhaps seeking balance is the key. Treat your phone like the tool that it is and don’t just accept the default maximalist layout.

The home screen is the gateway trap, but it doesn’t have to be jam-packed with apps. Pick a serene background, limit yourself to 12 apps, and use the physical buttons to map to your most immediate needs. Deploy widgets to thoughtfully give you the information you need at a glance, without ever needing to open the app. Quickly search the app you need instead of scrolling through the long library list.

Dozens of strategies are out there, with varying degrees of hardness, but the through line is clear. Build for digital calm, and accept nothing else.

Some Noble Purpose

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 07:00:00 -0400

Earlier this week, I paused my workday to pray the Rosary. This is not a discipline that I’m consistent with, but I do think that it should be part of my daily routine. There is so much going on, taking a pause for fifteen minutes of calm meditation is a good antidote to the otherwise chaotic nature of my workday.

It was an ordinary work and school day, and frigid outside as winter ought to be. I settled onto the couch, facing the exterior window, and prayed on Hallow as a gentle snowfall could be seen through the window. It was a refreshing moment of peace, a connection to nature, to see the slowness and stillness of the entire scene.

On the other couches were my children, participating to varying degrees. This time is not for perfection, but encounter. That this rhythm of prayer, this island of peace in the middle of their day, is inscribed in their hearts. So even when they are older and out of the house, their heart will ache for these quiet moments.

As I considered all of this, the beauty of nature and the stillness of the children, I was reminded of my sense of purpose. Life is unpredictable and the future is totally unknowable. But I am here for a reason. God designed me into His plan for some noble purpose, if only I will offer my own fiat.

Believe

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 10:18:50 -0400

The heritage of our Catholic faith is deeply rooted in ancient peoples. From God’s first interaction with Abraham on the plains of Nineveh to today’s global Church, our history is collected in the stories, families, and prayers of billions of people throughout history.

A great struggle for the modernist mind is to accept truths that cannot be concretely verified. The Church has many treasures, relics, and traditions that add substance, character, and charism to its ministry. But in a digital age separated by thousands of years from the original events and primary sources, the question of belief is a stumbling block for many. How could all these things be true?

This doubt, when it extends beyond reasonable inquiry, is particularly rich given the context of our social media age. Fake news, state-actor misinformation, and AI hallucinations fuel tens of thousands of rumors and inaccuracies by the hour. Yet, we question unchanging messages that have been handed down for eighty-five generations across cultures and nations?

It’s important to remember that, as an institution, our history and the primary events of salvation history occurred in ancient times. Perhaps that is a blessing, as it was a cultural structure that was better prepared to adjudicate fact from fiction. Truth spread far and wide, like the four canonical Gospels through the early Christian communities, while the non-canonical Gospels and epistles fizzed out. Imagine Jesus had come for the first time in 2025, and how difficult it would be, with technology and bad actors, to sort out what was real and what was not.

These cultures, before mass literacy, were vitally dependent on accurate memorization of events and passing them on to generations. This treasury of history was central to the tribe and nation’s survival, and permitting the insertion of creative imaginings would have been deeply destructive. There were stories and fables in one category of oral storytelling, but historical events had to be jealously safeguarded.

There have no doubt been artistic liberties and embellishments added to certain events, like the ancillary details surrounding the birth of Jesus. Most of these are a sort of imaginative prayer, intended to add further narrative context and depth to the scant details two paragraphs in the Gospel give us. The important thing, however, is that these additions do not contradict the core truth, nor do they distract from the central mystery. Whether they actually happened or not, it does not really matter because the main tenets are not dependent on them.

Believing is a hard thing, but it’s also an act of trust. Test all things, as St. Paul instructed, but once they stand up to rigorous inquiry, hold fast and believe.

Stillness

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 06:57:17 -0400

For two days last week, all four children were away from home and at their grandparents’ house. The morning before they left, I rounded everyone up and we all cleaned the house. Tidied, dusted, and vacuumed, our home transformed into a fortress of quiet comfort. It was an order that is seldom seen in an active house. With everything done, I loaded them into the car and sent them off on their adventure.

Sometimes, especially on the busy days, I wonder what my life as an empty-nester will be like. Sure, quiet and cleanliness are two nice things to experience in stark contrast to the daily reality, but is that really a better phase than the one I’m in? Every age and every stage of life has its challenges, but it also holds treasures in its own ways. Small children are a handful, but they also fall asleep in your arms during Mass and express wonder at the tiniest of things. Middle schoolers are caught between their younger days and flexing their autonomy, but you can connect with them in new and mature ways. I’m confident that this phase will be enjoyable, and so will the next.

Stillness is the hallmark of the Christmas story. While many cultural interpretations and features have been added on over the years to the legend of Jesus’ birth, what hasn’t changed are the core elements. On a quiet night in the stillness of winter, the Creator of the Universe, our salvation, was born. In humble circumstances, there were miraculous events, but only experienced by a few people. This was a joyful moment to be marked and celebrated, but in a measured and calm way.

In a way, I think this sort of peace, a deeply refreshing and rejuvenating experience, is the promise of Heaven that we most forget about. When we do contemplate Heaven, it’s about the people or the activities. This makes sense, especially when we’re talking about a peace so foreign to us that our limited minds can’t stretch far enough to imagine a place of total calm. Like every theological truth, its grandeur is tucked away in simplicity and humility; it’s the kind of experience of being outside in the cold and darkness of a late December night and coming inside to the warmth of your home and the soft glow of your Christmas tree illuminating the room.

Jesus offers Himself as sacrifice at Easter and gift at Christmas. His arrival marks the pivot point in human history, when our story, stretching all the way back to Abraham, reaches its fulfillment. In the darkness of winter, search for that stillness, that small experience of peace that turns our minds and hearts toward the place He has prepared for us.

Simplify

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 07:00:00 -0400

It’s easy to accumulate clutter. A single dish on the counter soon has many friends; tasks partially finished attract more tasks. It doesn’t take long before you start to get the feeling that you’re overwhelmed and will never get caught up. It takes a declared reset, when you focus and get the clutter processed and completed, before you feel like you can breathe again.

Clutter comes with physical objects, but also in our digital and mental spaces. How good does it feel, in the day or two before vacation, when you clear the decks at work and get everything checked off the list? How amazing is it to come home from vacation to a clean house? It’s always a relief when that one project or task that’s been weighing on your mind gets crossed off and done.

Letting go of tasks, projects, and even physical objects is not only necessary, but cathartic. Interests change, priorities shift, and left in the wake of these things are hangers-on that we have to summon the courage to get rid of. Goals are set in the moment, but if they don’t align with what you really want or need, they’re just a waste of time and resources. Collections of things are meant to be curated; you don’t have to keep them forever.

Spring cleaning is a thing because when the weather changes and the newness of nature springs up around us, we want to turn over a new leaf, too. Things that we used to think we could never live without now bring us a sense of dread. They crowd out space for the items that spark joy.

Advent is an invitation to simplify everything; it’s a challenge to match our interior and exterior lives to the simple model of the Holy Family. It’s permission to let go of the things that we’ve wanted to be free from but can’t seem to get it done. Life is beautiful and hard, made only harder by complexity and clutter. Clean out your inbox, get that project done, curate your collections, sell or donate what’s no longer useful. Spend your time, attention, and resources on those things that are truly exciting and joyful, and let others experience the same thing with those items no longer doing the same for you.

Immaculate Conception

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0400

The Church holds that there is no further revelation after Christ. Christ is the fulfillment of revelation, closing the loop on everything, and tying together the myriad threads of theology woven in the history of Israel. While there is nothing new to be revealed, what has occurred over the centuries of Church history is a more in-depth understanding of what has already been shared. A reaffirming principle of theology is that simple ideas and words have a depth to them that unpacking them can take centuries.

No place is the more true than Mariology. Mary’s place of honor in the Church is a natural and logical outflow of her place in Jesus’ life. What man doesn’t love his mother? If Christ bears this love for His mother, shouldn’t the Church, His body, do the same? But understanding her uniqueness in human history, and the philosophical properties attributable to this status requires deep thought and clarification.

When you look at the list of Vatican-approved Marian apparitions, the circumstances of them is astounding. These approved apparitions were studied and scrutinized, and their effects observed before receiving the seal of approval. These sixteen or so apparitions have similar threads. From France and Belgium, to Japan, Ireland, Venezuela, Rwanda, and Mexico, Mary appears dressed in a culturally appropriate attire and speaks the language of the people. This is the style of a mother looking to connect with her child, not a regent arriving to condescend. Our understanding of her role as mother not just to Jesus, but to His Body, is furthered by this subtle communication.

The same is true for the theological dogma that is not just proclaimed, but solemnly celebrated today: the Immaculate Conception. Although Mary lived in the first century, it wasn’t until the 1854 that the Church proclaimed the dogma that Mary was conceived without original sin. That’s a long time to contemplate the idea, but it’s a conclusion that is not only logical, but imperative.

Original sin is the stain passed from parent to child that is at the root of our fallen nature, but its remedy is often obtained by those same parents: Baptism. Each time we receive the Eucharist, we bring the completeness of Christ within our physical selves. Though it lasts only a moment, that interaction changes us. How can we not be changed when imperfection comes into concrete contact with perfection? But when we receive the Eucharist, He only physically dwells in us for a few minutes before the digestive process is complete.

Christ’s human gestation was entirely normal, nine months in utero of growth and development. How could it be that perfection would physically dwell in imperfection for that long of a time? Further, how could Mary be prepared for the weight of her vocation if there was even the smallest idea of disobedience somewhere in her conscience? That is why the Immaculate Conception is so theologically significant, and necessary. At the moment Mary was created, she was spared the stain of sin. This was not to pigeonhole her into fiat, but so that if she chose to entrust herself fully to God, that when the magnificent and imposing presence of an archangel appeared to her, she would be totally free to respond.

The layers of Mariology are still being explored and unpacked, but today is a little reminder of just how incredible she is, and how lucky we are to call her Mom.

Prepare

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 07:00:00 -0400

Be Prepared is the motto that many of us memorized growing up, later turning into a marketing tagline of “Prepare. For Life.” Preparation is the prudent act of an adult, foreseeing some future event and taking positive steps to be ready for when they arrive. That is Advent, the changing of our physical environments and interior selves to be ready for the arrival of the foretold Savior.

Jesus’ arrival was not a surprise. For hundreds of years, the place of His arrival was told and retold in Israel. This promised Savior would be the fulfillment of all of God’s promises in the story, reaching back to Abraham in the desert of the Nineveh plains. Long waiting, long-suffering, Israel pined for this arrival and the new era that it would begin.

We enter the Christmas season each year with a sense of time compression and busyness. The Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year sequence in rapid succession seems to speed us up. All the things we hoped to accomplish in 2025 take on new urgency and, while most of those things will be pushed into 2026, we still try to get it all done.

This compression is the opposite of the intent of Thanksgiving and Christmas. These two holidays ask us, instead, to pause. In Thanksgiving, we partake in the national pastime of practicing gratitude. This is a uniquely American trait in our national DNA that acknowledges that our successes and blessings find their source in others and in God. It’s a day to reflect on how good our lives are, and though life is never easy, there is much to be grateful for.

Christmas marks the arrival of Christ, and the dawn of an era. Reaching its fulfillment at Easter when we are truly set free, His birth is a concrete event that tells us that it was all real. Every story, every poem, every song, it all pointed to this moment, to this event, and now it is happening.

There are many preparations ahead in the short four weeks before Christmas. We need to decorate our homes; a change in the physical space that we inhabit gives us frequent reminders of the importance of these days. We need to clean our conscience by going to Reconciliation so that we are ready to participate in the celebrations to the fullest without being attached to our failings. Finally, we should contemplate the depth and beauty of this mystery. The great I AM arrives in the form that we ourselves entered into this world, and with Him comes everything we’ve hoped for and everything that was promised.

It all was true, it is all real, and we are a part of it.