Catholic Husband

Love / Lead / Serve

Manliness

Disrupt

Wall Street is obsessed with disruptors; those companies that take a stale industry and deploy an entirely new approach, dislodging the entrenched powers. We’ve seen it time and again is business, sports, and wars when a dark horse comes out of nowhere, changes the game, and beats the unbeatable opponent.Read Article

More

Our sense of timing is incredible. Consider the level of comfort that we experience daily, with technologies and services that our predecessors could never have imagined. You might even be reading this article on a computer that fits into your pocket.Read Article

Fatherless

A decade ago, at the height of the third-party mobile app ecosystem, I was trying tons of shiny new apps. One was a greeting card generator, that you could design in the app, and which would be printed and mailed to the recipient. It was fine, but I quickly moved on. I hadn’t given that app much thought until three weeks ago. They emailed me, letting me know that Father’s Day was around the corner, and that know that it could be a painful day for many. They wanted to give me the opportunity to opt-out from their Father’s Day marketing emails.Read Article

Summits

Many years ago, shortly after turning 18, I went on a church field trip with our young, and very athletic, priest. We set off early in the day to climb a mountain, on a trail not quite built for beginners. As the hours wore on, the younger kids kept asking, “Are we almost to the top?” Every time, our priest would reply, “Keep going, we’re almost there.”Read Article

Time to Care

It’s easy, when time is tight, to cut the things that benefit us. Exercise, meal prep, prayer, these are activities that seem disposable, but are in reality the secret to our success. We’re responsible for the care of others, but we won’t be successful unless we first take the time to care for ourselves.Read Article

A Father's Love

What is the measure of a good father? Is it the serenity in his house, the manicured lawn, or perhaps just food on the table every evening? All men contemplate their self-worth. This is an intellectual process that naturally occurs in life. The easiest answer is in the economic value that they produce for their family. While helpful, a utilitarian approach denies the most important contribution a father makes. The true value of a father is his love.Read Article

Normalcy

It’s the last week of January, which means just about everyone’s New Years resolutions are forgotten. Gyms have emptied out, restaurants have removed their healthy menu options, and budgets sit on computers never to be touched again. How did the hope of 2020 fade so quickly? For many, it was because their life change was built on the fallacy of normalcy.Read Article

Servant Leadership

Many people want the title, pomp, and circumstance that comes with leadership. They crave the seniority, the deference, the perks, the reserved parking spot, and the corner office. Few want the responsibility. Leadership is about serving, not being served. As a true servant leader, Jesus taught us that. He didn’t seek praise or preferential treatment. Instead, He did the things that no one else wanted to do. He spoke to people that others looked down upon and He challenged every social norm. He challenged us in order to lead us to Truth. He was a servant leader all the way to the cross.Read Article

Making Breakfast

It’s the little things that make the biggest difference. Most mornings, I invest a few minutes in my marriage, but Alison isn’t even in the same room. I’m started a new habit of making breakfast for her to take on the road to work.Read Article

Thinking Forward

Typically at the end of the year, I’ll write a post about my goals, both looking back and planning forward. Like most people, I have a checkered track record. That fact, however, has yet to discourage me.Read Article

Take Care of Yourself

Over the past nine months or so, I’ve really let my personal care slide. I’m normally really good about my oral hygiene, but there have been days when I didn’t brush at all. There have been many days when I haven’t showered. I haven’t been exercising regularly and I take almost no time to get dressed and ready for the day.Read Article

Shepherd Your Flock

I’m the parent of three small children. I stay home with them during the day, and am so grateful to have Alison there with me in the evenings and on weekends. We’re a team, and we’re constantly exhausted. Some days I struggle to get out of bed and make good on the commitments that I’ve made. There’s seldom quiet and no break is ever long enough.Read Article

Commit Yourself to A Program

What a privilege it is to live in the Modern era. No matter what goal I set for myself, someone has already achieved it, and their method is readily available to me. I want to lose weight, and there are plenty of plans out there to help me implement the proven program.Read Article

I Choose Superhero

Our cities and neighborhoods produce the finest political thinkers, artists, innovators, and pioneers on the planet. Our forefathers pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and overcame every obstacle. We have fought for freedom, moved beyond adversity, and created the greatest geopolitical force for good in the history of the world. Read Article

Make 2017 A Change Year

I love this last week of the year. There’s a feeling of hope and anticipation for the New Year. We’re eager for this grand reset, and we even start believing that we can change our lives for the better. I'm ready for 2017 to be a change year.Read Article

Seeking Simplicity

Life has a way of coming full circle. Just five years ago, when I was young, free, and single, I obsessed over technology. My phone had over 100 apps in the early days of the App Store, and I was always looking for life hacks. I had this impetus to be more productive by using only the best tools. Like my conversion to Jazz (and now Classical) music, I made a major change over the weekend and deleted almost every app from my phone. Why did I feel this need to be free? It all started with a song.Read Article

If It's Broken, Fix It

If you take a careful look at mass produced products on the market today, you’ll note just how disposable our culture has become. Cars are safer, but feature more plastic. Furniture is rarely made with hard woods, but instead with pressed wood. Homes are built using cheap materials that don’t stand the test of time. Even when it comes to relationships, people have become commoditized. When something breaks, we think replacement and not repair, oftentimes to the detriment of our budget.Read Article

Dad Life

Lately I’ve developed a real interest in car care. I want our cars to last, so I try to wash them weekly and keep them clean. I’ve always been on the meticulous side when it comes to the cleanliness of our cars, but these days I’ve also taken an interest in making improvements. I’ve upgraded the rearview mirror, the interior lights, and the radio on the van in recent weeks. While working on these projects, it occurred to me that I’m now the dad and these are the kinds of things that I do now. Several times I’ve been in a bind while making a repair, but with no one to back me up, I just had to troubleshoot my way through the problem and make it work. During these times, I realized just how fun it is to be a dad.Read Article

Mastering Patience

IKEA is not a store that I associate with the virtue of patience. Assembling the furniture is a task that tries me in so many different ways. We recently bought a few new pieces in order to upgrade our home and prepare the kid’s room for the arrival of Felicity. Surprisingly, I was able to assemble the wardrobe by myself and anchor it to the wall with Alison’s help.
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Eliminate the Possibility

A great struggle in the single life is the lack of permanence. When casually dating, playing the field, or even when you’re in a serious relationship, there’s a tentative bond that can be severed at any time, for any reason. This is extremely healthy because it would be ill-advised to enter into a permanent relationship without really knowing a person. Yet, this wavering state of affairs can also cause much angst as two people continue to move in different directions while trying to maintain a relationship. Therein lies the beauty of marriage; namely permanence.Read Article

Where Are Your Manners?

I follow the work of Shawn Blanc pretty closely. Shawn is a writer based in Kansas City who does a variety of work and writing based on doing your best creative work and the tools to help you achieve that end. Among his sites are Tools & Toys and The Sweet Setup. I like Shawn because he and I share very similar tastes, and so if he find a particular app to be very helpful, I will likely do the same. One of Shawn’s sites recently featured a book recommendation, “Emily Post’s Essential Manners for Men: Second Edition” by Peter Post. Emily Post’s writings on etiquette are the gold standard on the subject, and now her grandson, Peter, is carrying on her legacy.Read Article

Grading Your Performance

It’s a good idea to think about your performance as a man and husband in terms of a grading scale. In days past, while you were still in school, you had some subjects that came easily to you in which you easily achieved an A with little effort. In some other subjects, you had a natural ability, but had to apply yourself more and may have hovered in the B range. Finally, there were (hopefully only) a few areas where you truly lacked a natural ability and had to work diligently to achieve a commendable grade. Life really is no different.Read Article

How Will You Use Your Fresh Start?

I love this time of year when I and every other writer on the Internet write about goals, resolutions, and fresh starts. It's part meeting a need and part recognizing that the New Year is the biggest time-based turning point in any given year.Read Article

Cutting Corners is Weak

Personal integrity is a key component to success. In fact, America's millionaires rated integrity as the number one reason for their success. Laziness is perhaps the greatest human vice. We have so much potential, the power of our minds, the dexterity of our hands, and a multitude of tools that to take all of these assets and not use them for anything is a waste. Our time and our days mean something, though in the moment that may not be entirely clear. Laziness is more than just complete idleness, it's also cutting corners. It's acceptable to acknowledge our tendency to find easy ways out. Half of the battle is knowing just who your enemy is. Instead of cutting those corners, and inevitably losing, do the job right.Read Article

The New Year Slump

It's about that time of year when people hit their New Year slump. The grand plans, resolutions, and goals have encountered the first wave of resistance and most will return to their old ways. To expect a perfect journey is unreasonable and, frankly, was more crazy than the goal to begin with. Resistance provides the opportunity to reinforce the "why" behind what you're doing.Read Article

Discipline Trickles Down

Alison's schedule around Holy Days is always a little tricky. Our parish generally offers sufficient Masses, but they don't offer evening Masses on Holy Days (or Sunday). That means that we can be legitimately scrambling to get to Mass. This year, her schedule meant that we needed to go to Mass on December 31st, instead of January 1st. While praying before Mass, I decided to ask for a gift for the new year. I thought about plenty of options, but settled on one that I thought would bring about all. I asked for the grace of discipline.Read Article

Drive Safely this Season

As the cool Fall air moved into the region, I made a concerted effort to get Benedict outside more. We ran around in the yard, cleaned up our garden, and put away flower pots. He’s a determined little guy who loves his freedom, so we’d also walk the 50 yards or so of sidewalk in front of our house. Since I regularly take him on my walk with me (he rides in the stroller), he’s had plenty of opportunity to see cars drive by. During our walks on the sidewalk, he’d stop for every car, yell “HI!” and wave as they passed by. Many drivers looked and waved back, most did not.Read Article

My Own Biggest Obstacle

When your thirst for change exceeds the threshold of your objections, things start to happen. We all have a series of objections when it comes to making changes in our lives. We like things the way they are, or the cost to make this particular change is too high. While it’s convenient to place the blame for our lack of change on external factors, the truth is that we’re our own biggest obstacle.Read Article

Change Requires Pain

There's something very real and raw about wanting to make changes in our lives. We all want to be better than we are today. We can see our future and (hopefully) we foresee brighter days with better financial security, better jobs, better opportunity, and better quality of life. The challenge is enduring the pains that it takes to get us from where we are to where we want to be.Read Article

Daily Grooming

How we present ourselves to the world is an important aspect of live, and so making time for daily grooming is a must. To be fair, daily grooming can be a bit of a drag. Depending on the day, you may or may not feel like shaving, or you may opt for a few minutes of extra sleep instead of using that time for shaving. Regardless of how you feel on any particular day, make sure you take time for grooming.Read Article

Where Do You Send Your Thoughts?

In a widely circulated Matthew Kelley talk, Matthew made the point that where you send your thoughts, your actions will follow. His point was that if you spend your time contemplating the things of God, your life will improve; if you spend your time contemplating sinful things, you will stay trapped in sin.Read Article

Break Your Phone Addiction

Alison and I are both up for phone upgrades this month. It was with great glee that I watched the Apple September media event, knowing that I'd soon integrate this new technology into my workflow. Technology drives my work here at Catholic Husband and my work designing websites; its purpose is to make my life easier, better. There are apps to measure fitness, track chronic conditions, share news, connect with the world, check the weather, manage my business, and more. Yet, lately I’ve been feeling that my phone is starting to be more of a hinderance than a help.Read Article

Let Go of Past Hurts

I'm a grudge-holder. I don't do it for all things, but when a particular relational infraction occurs, if it's offensive enough, I'll hold on to it for a very long time. It's not the best system in the world and it certainly adds stress to my life because grudges keep coming up in my mind resulting in me reliving the offending action. The problem with holding on to past hurts is not just that we can't do anything about them today, but also that it makes us a prisoner of the past.Read Article

How to Deal with Traffic

Our National Driver's Education curriculum needs to be overhauled. At least half of the teaching time needs to be devoted to courtesy on the road. We all have a tendency towards road rage and frankly, it’s too often justified. When we get behind the wheel, it's as if an alter-ego takes over and all human decency goes out the window. Many of the delays and traffic jams are caused by people being jerks. One day this Spring, Benedict and I were caught in some heavy traffic on our way to pick up Alison from work. While in a 20-minute traffic jam, I saw a man who had all of his windows down, his headphones in, and smoking a cigar. While I don't approve of the headphones, I do approve of his attitude. He was in traffic, there was no way to avoid it, so he was going to enjoy it.Read Article

Men Do Manly Things

It seems that there’s a natural hesitation among men to engage in any activity that’s determined to be primarily for women. We don’t really craft, we generally don’t clean, and we don’t spend time with mom groups. The problem with distinguishing between activities for men and women is that we might really miss out on something that could be really good for us.Read Article

You're A Chef

There are times in the married life when we need to take risks. As men, we don’t like failing. If we can’t do something perfectly the first time, we tend to shy away from trying.Read Article

Saying Sorry

Masculine pride will tell you that apologies are weakness. It will tell you that the person who apologizes first, loses. Masculine pride has also gotten you into a few tight spots before, hasn’t it?Read Article

You're Not A Punk

You’re not a punk. Believe me, we’ve both met a lot of punks out there.Read Article

Husband as Protector

As a husband (and father, too!) we have a very important role to fill. It is one that we simply can’t abdicate. It is the role of the protector.Read Article

It's Time to Be Men

There is a growing chorus among young ladies today. They are recognizing a trend in our society. We have a society full of boys. Women don’t want to marry a boy; they want to marry a man.Read Article

It's Not Just About You Anymore

A few months before I got married, I joined a gym. Everyone asked the question, “Are you trying to look good in your wedding pictures?” It is a scene from any number of romantic comedies. Guy gets engaged and suddenly hits the gym. Are we really that shallow?Read Article

I Had A Win

My desk, at the end of the day, is always completely clear. I am a generally clean person. I try to be diligent in maintaining cleanliness in my life.Read Article

Not for the Comfortable

Catholics tend to each have their way of practicing their faith. Thankfully, Alison and I found a parish near our home that fits ours. But, unfortunately, we weren't so lucky on Ash Wednesday.Read Article