Catholic Husband

Love / Lead / Serve


What's Next

Mindfulness gained a foothold in the imaginations of workers and corporations in the last few years, as popular apps brought reliable and lighthearted training to the masses on their phones. Mindfulness asks us to pause and focus only on our existence in a certain moment. It calms the mind and allows us to observe the world as it passes.

So much of our cultural ethos is ladder climbing. Whether socially, financially, or on the job, we’re focused on getting to the next rung. When we finally arrive, there’s another rung for us to reach. On and on we go, lurching from goal to goal as the goalposts keep shifting.

We spend an inordinate amount of time asking, “What’s next?” I have this car, but which one should I get now? I got this promotion, now what job should I do next? I hit this financial goal, now what am I going to work on next? All this time thinking about the future causes us to miss the present.

Having goals is a good and necessary thing; so is being mindful in the present moment. The growth of our children is the perfect reminder that, while every stage of life has its challenges and frustrations, each stage also has its little joys. These joys can only be found when we ask, “What’s now?”

Start Now

Tomorrow is the perfect time to start anything. With the whole day ahead of us, no interruptions, it’ll be just right. I’ll do everything that I’ve been meaning to do for the last six months but haven’t quite gotten around to getting done. Read Article


Three hundred and sixty-five days later, we find ourselves at another trailhead. The new year holds a great deal of symbolism in our world, although in reality it’s just another day. The beauty, though, of the special meaning to which we assign it, is that it’s another reminder of our call to constant renewal.Read Article

Some Greater Glory

Hopelessness is poison for the soul. With nothing to look forward to in the future, man starts to unravel. Slowly, we give up on reality, sinking into ourselves, captives to boredom. We lose the will to impose any sort of discipline on ourselves or self-control.Read Article

Just War

As advanced as we all like to think we are, even in this post-modern era, still struggle with the same essential flaws. Though we long for peace, and the social and economic prosperity that it brings, conflict is a central theme in the human story. Wherever there are two or more people, there will be differences of opinion and, thus, conflict.Read Article

Love the Path

In life, we often have to walk difficult paths to achieve our desired outcomes. Whether at home, at work, spiritually or in our relationships, getting from where we are to the place that we dream about requires an ongoing commitment and thousands of steps. Though it’s easy to be motivated in the beginning, how can we best sustain our good works? Read Article

Natural Conclusions

There’s something about waypoints in our lives that lead us to become pensive. We reflect, look back, and plan for a brighter tomorrow. These endings come at regular intervals and for all sorts of reasons. They’re yet another reminder, in our busy frenetic world, to slow down and think.Read Article


Wall Street is obsessed with disruptors; those companies that take a stale industry and deploy an entirely new approach, dislodging the entrenched powers. We’ve seen it time and again is business, sports, and wars when a dark horse comes out of nowhere, changes the game, and beats the unbeatable opponent.Read Article


The kids went on vacation earlier this summer without Alison and I. Grandparents Camp is a nice annual tradition for any child. We realized that an additional sleep machine would be needed, so at 1:34pm on a Saturday afternoon, I ordered one on Amazon. A 4:36am the next morning, Sunday morning, it was delivered. That’s stunning convenience.Read Article


There are certain things in life that we pick up and just can’t seem to put down. Rules, guidelines, suggestions, and ideas that we carry with us and that color our world. We begin our lives knowing nothing, and over the first few decades we soak up the world, slowly losing our curiosity and settling into a mental rigidity. Read Article


Our sense of timing is incredible. Consider the level of comfort that we experience daily, with technologies and services that our predecessors could never have imagined. You might even be reading this article on a computer that fits into your pocket.Read Article

The Idea

Jesus is most commonly thought of as a religious figure, but in reality, his core message a fundamental change in human thinking. Jesus’ contribution to philosophy is the single most important idea in history.Read Article


Many years ago, shortly after turning 18, I went on a church field trip with our young, and very athletic, priest. We set off early in the day to climb a mountain, on a trail not quite built for beginners. As the hours wore on, the younger kids kept asking, “Are we almost to the top?” Every time, our priest would reply, “Keep going, we’re almost there.”Read Article

Create Beauty

There’s so much darkness and ugliness in the world. The links that get clicked and shows that get watched thrive on it. We almost indulge the darkness.Read Article

The Year It's Been

The final two weeks of the year always feel the same to me, and it's a feeling that I love. Calm, peace, and finality set in as major projects wind down. My thoughts turn to what is about to begin.Read Article

Time to Care

It’s easy, when time is tight, to cut the things that benefit us. Exercise, meal prep, prayer, these are activities that seem disposable, but are in reality the secret to our success. We’re responsible for the care of others, but we won’t be successful unless we first take the time to care for ourselves.Read Article

Enjoy Today

Living life day-to-day is not easy, nor is it simple. In many ways, it’s boring and mundane. I never look forward to Monday because I know the busyness of laundry, school, and work that awaits me. It can be easy to think of life like a game of the Sims, wishing I could just fast-forward to bedtime, call it a day, and move on to something new and different tomorrow.Read Article

The Emperor Has No Clothes

Hypocrisy is part of what it means to be human. We’re deeply flawed. To have the expectation that we can live our lives with the rock solid integrity of Atticus Finch is unreasonable. The real problem is not when we find that we have erred, but when we refuse to admit the reality. No where does this play out more clearly, or more publicly, than in the political world.Read Article

The Sexualization of Everything

I have to imagine that there was a time in human history when every human relationship wasn’t sexualized. No doubt, we’ve always had a certain fascination with sex, but not to the point where it must apply to everything. We’ve forgotten that love emits of degrees; rediscovering that simple truth could significantly improve all relationships.Read Article

A Single Spark

Inertia stands in our way and holds us back until the moment that it doesn’t. It’s all or nothing; it’s a concrete jersey barrier or completely nonexistent. A single spark in our life is all that it takes to vanish.Read Article

Freedom Squandered

No other nation, in the history of civilization, has endured so long without the benefit of kings or authoritarians. The United States has achieved a long-running democracy, in which the principles of liberty and civic responsibility drive us to our collective forward progress as a nation. What are we doing with this freedom?Read Article


On Friday night, at 8:30pm to be exact, a very motivated local landscaping supply business owner dropped off a pallet of sod in my driveway. Several beds around our house sat empty since we removed over a dozen shrubs at the end of March. With this delivery, we were ready to end this project.Read Article

Turn On Your Brain

The culture of rage is here, a general acceptance of rule breaking in the furtherance of political ends. Rage is primal, reaching into the area of your brain that runs your internal “fight or flight” response. It shuts down logic and instead pursues action, no matter how unhinged.Read Article

The Paradox of Time

There’s a quirk in human psychology when it comes to time. We have lists of things that we’d like to do, but never enough time to do them. Yet, when our schedules open up, we’re more likely to drift to watching TV or wasting time, rather than investing it in quality activities from our list.Read Article


Easter is here and the tomb is empty. The timing of Easter this year was prescient. In my listening to the “Bible in a Year” podcast, I lined up exactly with the events of Holy Week. The same went for my daughter’s Bible curriculum. For her school work, we read a story and the next day she narrates the story and draws a picture. In her telling, Jesus was hiding behind a tree, waiting for Mary Magdalene to show up. The image she drew of Jesus lying in wait was amusing. Read Article

The Human Person

It’s a great paradox that in the Information Age, when every book every written and every fact known to man is available on your phone, that our connection to the truth is at great risk. The future that GK Chesterton presciently wrote about over 100 years ago is coming true; we are drawing swords to defend the basic and observable truths in the natural world.Read Article


Evil’s greatest objective is to desensitize us to its reality. If we fail to perceive evil for the threat that it is, to our lives and our society, then it can more easily dominate us. Read Article

Keto Recycle

Over the past three years, I've experimented with the keto diet. It's fashionable right now, a fact that's helped me stay consistent. My grocery store stocks a variety of keto-friendly options, which is fantastic.Read Article

Noticing Progress

It’s hard to notice progress in our personal growth. We’re so intimately familiar with ourselves that small changes are imperceptible. Even the markers that we mentally track can be deceiving. Read Article


We’re in a season of disruption. Three major holidays in a row, travel plans, end of year tasks, and more all add up to significant calendar changes. Our routines upended, we’re left scrambling to find the peace of the season while still covering our bases.Read Article


Most of the Christian life is about acceptance. Acceptance is the humble admission that the great plans of God are far superior to the limited ones we have for our lives.Read Article

Building Momentum

Just after my birthday this Spring, I started walking again each morning. My most successful streaks start with little planning and no fanfare. My alarm goes off, and I go walk for an hour. I kept up with that habit, day after day, all the way until our summer vacation in July. I took the week off, and I’ve struggled to get back on track.Read Article

The Monk and the Merchant

The pictures coming out of Afghanistan are heartbreaking. We will forever remember the image of the C-17 taxiing down the runway with dozens of people hanging on, desperate to escape the evil that has descended on their homeland. It hurts not just because it was preventable, but because we feel powerless to help. Our elected leadership has failed on the world stage, and we share in the moral fallout.Read Article


I caught the back to school bug last week. The malaise of summer broke, and I worked through my checklist of projects. I oiled squeaky doors, replaced door handles, and ordered in some extra decor for our schoolroom. I even started easing us back into the regular daily routine.Read Article

Second New Year

August is here and back to school is right around the corner. We limped over the finish line in June, and it’s hard to believe that we’re about to get started again. There’s a bit more planning and organization to do. This year will bring a new challenge. I have two students in my class, with a third in tow.Read Article

Spiritual Wokeism

I’m old enough to remember when being woke was enough to get you made fun of on SNL. What started as a fringe idea has now overrun the academy, government, the armed services, public health, and media. The essential contradiction of wokeism is that while it claims to be awake, to be fully embraced, you must deny reality. One of the clearest signs of this is the pervasive belief in the fallacy that America is no better today than it was in 1776.

This is a heavier topic than usual. I like to keep this blog light and digestible, but I think there’s an element of wokeism at play in our spirituality. It’s easy to believe that we are no better today than we were yesterday, or even a decade ago.Read Article

Lazy Summer Days

With deep regret, my vacation is over. A few days at home with just one kid to watch, followed by a cross-country drive to a week at Lake Michigan. This period of time is the most restful I’ve had in over a year. What a wonderful break!Read Article

To the Lake

July at home is a hot, muggy affair. Humidity rarely disappears, meaning even my early morning walks, long before the sun breaks the new day, are hot and uncomfortable. The heat and humidity persist for months on end, the price of a delightful and mild winter. But none of that matters now. As I write this post, I’m sitting in a beach house, high on a bluff above Lake Michigan. The windows are open, and the cool lake breeze is blowing past me.Read Article

Kill the Golden Calf

Everyone hates the polarized culture, but no one wants to give an inch. We blame the other side as the source of all of our problems. Perhaps we should try seeing their point of view as being valid. The friction that keeps us from accomplishing anything meaningful together isn’t the mindless droll, it’s our obsession with our golden calves.Read Article


As a part of my study of St. Joseph and his life, I picked up a copy of Pope Francis’ Apostolic Letter Patris Corde (With a Father’s Heart) that was released in December. In the letter, the Holy Father established this year as the Year of St. Joseph. While reading through, I came across this passage from the second letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians.Read Article


This week will mark the eighth anniversary of this blog. We live in a hurried and distracted culture, one in which we assume that longevity means success. I don’t think that’s true in general, and it’s certainly not true with this blog.Read Article

Off the Wagon

After years of practice and observation, I know the keep components that I need to build up physical health. I need to walk for an hour daily, drink lots of water, read in the evening before bed, and go to sleep and wake up at about the same time. These are not new ideas, they are not even really negotiable. When I do them all over a sustained period of time, usually two weeks, I feel the difference.Read Article

Carrying Too Much

As I sit to write this post, I’m at the kitchen counter in our new house. We’re in the midst of a move. I’ve moved more than a dozen times in my life and this is the first one that can be considered a local move. It’s an experience I’m familiar with, but one that I still don’t particularly enjoy.Read Article

Live Today

Jesus told us to not worry about tomorrow, that it would take care of itself. I wrote a few weeks ago about how it’s time for us to move past the paralysis of COVID. The trap of living in the past or future is that it steals our today.Read Article

Time to Go

Life in March was paralyzing. The incessant flow of negative news stories crashed over us like a tsunami. Our society endured the first global health threat of our lifetimes, and we did not adapt well.Read Article


The opportunity to gain clarity in your life is rare. The busyness of the world and daily distractions easily get us to lose focus on our objectives. We’ve got too much going on in the present to be concerned about tomorrow, the broader future, or even what’s just on our periphery.
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A Few Extra Minutes

Taking care of children is no easy task. Apart from the heavy lifting of moral and character education are the daily mundane tasks. These are the repeating things that I do every day without a thought, like getting dressed, taking a shower, or brushing my teeth. When I do them for myself, it requires almost no effort, but doing them for all three of my children is a heavy lift.Read Article

Some Gave All

Memorial Day marks the official start of summer. While the holiday weekend is typically filled with travel and cookouts, this year the celebrations are muted. In this time of upheaval, it’s a wonderful chance for us to rediscover the meaning of the holiday. Read Article

The Lessons Learned

Back in January, I had high hopes and expectations for 2020. The future was bright as a new decade dawned. Even just saying 2020 felt hopeful. In March, all of those illusions came crashing down. While the global lockdowns are starting to lift, I’m coming to the realization that things aren’t going back to the old way.
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Resisting Structure

Sticking to a routine and a list of daily habits is much easier to do when I have momentum. Building up that momentum over a series of weeks propels me to continued success. Ideally, that routine and those habits are all oriented to completing the things that I want to accomplish. They’re guardrails that keep me heading to my goals. When I fall out of that routine, it’s remarkable just how hard it is to get back into the swing of things.Read Article

Dive Into Something

What a difference three months can make! Back in January, I felt completely overwhelmed with all of my ongoing projects. I committed to trimming my obligations in recognition of the little time I have each day to devote to my own activities. Now, eight weeks into self-isolation, I find myself utterly bored.Read Article

Mind Your Diet

We become what we consume. The uncertainty that we all experience now is only intensified when we marinate in the news of the day. To be sure, we all have a part to play. We all need to do what we can to limit the human toll that the current pandemic will take on us. But don’t let it steal your hope.Read Article

In the Desert

What a Lent this has been. We’re familiar with the story of Jesus going out into the desert for 40 days, but never before have we had such an acute experience of that kind of isolation. While in the desert, angels ministered to him and Satan tempted him, but he was truly alone. No humans to keep him company.Read Article


It’s the last week of January, which means just about everyone’s New Years resolutions are forgotten. Gyms have emptied out, restaurants have removed their healthy menu options, and budgets sit on computers never to be touched again. How did the hope of 2020 fade so quickly? For many, it was because their life change was built on the fallacy of normalcy.Read Article

A Remarkable Year

As I wrote in January about my grand plans for 2019, I laid out a vision for a totally new me. I recognized the malaise that I had fallen into over the past four years, caught up in the responsibilities of parenting. Though left unsaid, I was adrift in the ocean of technology, struggling to maintain focus and presence. I declared that 2019 would be different, not knowing the truth in that bold pronouncement.Read Article

Reaching A Goal

I still remember it vividly. I stepped on to the scale one winter morning to see a three digit number that scared me: 207 lbs. I was six months out of college, living on my own, and suddenly in the worst physical condition of my life. How did it come to this? I was still learning how to live, but something needed to change. I bought my first Fitbit, and started on an eight year journey to get my weight back to a healthy range.Read Article

Becoming Technoskeptic

When the iOS App Store first opened its doors, I was one of the first customers. For years, coworkers would query me about the latest and greatest app. They’d come to me with the solution that they were trying to achieve, and I’d help them find the best app for the job. I was a true technophile.Read Article

On Tumblr

Tumblr recently faced an internal crisis. The niche mass-blogging platform had become widely accepting of adult themed blogs. Pornographic images were freely posted and shared, all within the acceptable uses defined by the company. Then came the child pornography.Read Article

Where Emotion and Perception Rule

My degree is in classical philosophy, with a heavy emphasis in Ancient Greek thought. Of all of the courses that I took, none stand out as more impactful than Logic. When use that word, “logic,” a lot without really appreciating its nature. Logic is a system, very closely related to mathematics, that helps us to process thoughts and positions to ensure integrity and congruence.Read Article

Media Anxiety

The midterm elections are concluded. With over 700 days before the 2020 presidential election, the news cycle is running wild with speculation as to who will run, who will be nominated, and who will win. A new Congress will sit in January, and in this lame duck period, conjecture flies about what it will (or won’t) do. The 2016 presidential election continues to be litigated, investigated, and bloviated.Read Article

Guard Your Joy

There are many reasons to be optimistic in life, especially as an American. We live in comfort and peace. I go to bed at night, not fearing roving thugs, errant artillery shells, or that some secret government agency will come and kidnap me.Read Article

The Gluttony of Surfing

I remember a time two decades ago when the Internet was a fun place to be. It was new, exciting, and you could spend hours getting lost in new and interesting content. Read Article

Commit Yourself to A Program

What a privilege it is to live in the Modern era. No matter what goal I set for myself, someone has already achieved it, and their method is readily available to me. I want to lose weight, and there are plenty of plans out there to help me implement the proven program.Read Article

Quitting Social Media

I remember a time, a decade ago, when the Internet was fun. It was an open, collaborative place where you could find interesting articles and links, follow your friends, find a few laughs, and get a real sense of connection. It’s amazing what the passage of time can do, even a relatively short passage of time. Today, the Internet has become four or five main websites. Those sites are essentially ads, spyware, spam, and garbage.Read Article

Data Driven

I’m a guy who likes data. I like to see numbers, charts, and graphs. I can understand them and make decisions based off of them. It’s just the way that I am.Read Article

I Choose Superhero

Our cities and neighborhoods produce the finest political thinkers, artists, innovators, and pioneers on the planet. Our forefathers pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and overcame every obstacle. We have fought for freedom, moved beyond adversity, and created the greatest geopolitical force for good in the history of the world. Read Article

August Ames

Ontil late last year, I didn’t know August Ames. One day in early December, I was checking in on the trending topics, and clicked her name. She was a porn star who met her untimely demise at the age of 23.Read Article

Mending Post-Election Fences

We live in an ailing culture. How far we have fallen from the America that De Tocqueville documented in his journeys. In many ways, I believe that the way that we live our daily lives has contributed to the toxic nature of our society. This article is about more than just an election or any one candidate. This article is about who we have become, and the dire implications that it entails.Read Article

Thoughts on Friendship in the Digitial Age

One of my favorite activities is to pick an area of life where I need improvement and to work hard to make a change. I can only focus on one thing at a time, and that focus is what drives results. I’ve made big changes and little changes using this approach. One of my great regrets of the past six years is my lack of new meaningful friendships. I have friends from college that I connect with, but I haven't built many new friendships. It’s an area of my life that I’m working to improve. Before I can make great friends, I need to be a great friend.Read Article

The Necessity of Rest (and Why You Need More of It)

I spent four years in the workforce after college. The environment was challenging, but it was a nonprofit, so people were kind about it. There was a constant tension over work hours. The more experienced employees came up through the company at a time where results came at any cost. My peers and I were more interested in having a work/life balance. This difference of opinion centered on one critical element: the role of rest. To them, we were lazy. To us, they were unreasonable.Read Article

Seeking Simplicity

Life has a way of coming full circle. Just five years ago, when I was young, free, and single, I obsessed over technology. My phone had over 100 apps in the early days of the App Store, and I was always looking for life hacks. I had this impetus to be more productive by using only the best tools. Like my conversion to Jazz (and now Classical) music, I made a major change over the weekend and deleted almost every app from my phone. Why did I feel this need to be free? It all started with a song.Read Article

Pam, Porn, and Paul

There’s no renewal without conversion. There’s no mercy without justice. There’s no Resurrection without the Cross. These axioms define what it means to be a Christian. Our lives must be in a constant state of renewal as we conform ourselves to Christ.

Pamela Anderson is one of the great sex symbols of the 1990s. This dehumanizing label, though intended to be a compliment, is repugnant. This label supplants the mystique of her femininity with something less than her dignity. She’s back in the news after penning an op-ed piece about the dangers of pornography.Read Article

The Duplicity of Moral Superiority

There's a tendency in human thought to desire superiority over others. We must show those we resent that we’ve made something of our lives and that it's more than they've done. Thus, we are better than they are. This tendency is destructive and it diverts precious resources away from bettering ourselves.Read Article

The Fatal Flaw of Feminism

Americans have a great tradition of rugged individualism. We have a heritage of self-reliance typified by the settlers on the Oregon Trail, or the grit of the Greatest Generation. Self-reliance and self-motivation are two great qualities to have, but it seems that we’re becoming more and more insular. Instead of relying on a strong community, we count only on ourselves. This move has lead to peculiar movements and ideologies, especially modern feminism. The thing about authentic femininity is that it requires no words. They don’t need to tear anything down in order to validate themselves. They’re powerful and sublime in and of themselves.Read Article

Keeping Things Civil

Every four years, we have a tremendous, Constitutionally guaranteed, opportunity to remind ourselves just how much we hate our neighbor. Twelve to sixteen months of personal attacks and a relentless avalanche of political marketing that has become our presidential election cycle. Instead of being a moment for us to collectively pause, evaluate our progress, and choose a vision for our future, it’s a free-for-all.Read Article

Respect People

The Catholic Church’s position on life is unimpeachable. Every human person has inherent dignity and the right to live from the moment of conception to their natural death. Arguably, the Catholic Church is the biggest champion of human rights and dignity in our world today. There are no exceptions and the Church speaks out against violations of the dignity of the human person in all quarters. Whether it be immigration, human trafficking, forced sterilizations, abortion, pornography, IVF, or the poor, the Church fights valiantly on the international, national, regional, and local levels to correct injustices.Read Article

I Hate Facebook. So I Did Something About It

I recently received an email from Facebook congratulating me on my 10 year anniversary on the network. While I’m sure they had a heavily researched intention behind the email, I found it to be both striking and frightening. In the first place, I found it striking how in such a fickle market, they’ve endured for so long. While others have come and gone, Facebook remains. In the second place, I found it frightening when I considered just how much of my life I’ve lost to Facebook.Read Article

Sick of Reality TV

Television programming has the unique ability to bring people together. Perusing Twitter after an episode of “The Bachelor” or checking out the blogs after an explosive episode of any popular show gives one the sense of just how transcendent it can be. One of the more popular genres of television programming in the past decade has been the rise of so-called “Reality TV.” The thing is, none of it is real, and I’m sick of it.Read Article

Vote Your Conscience

When Virginia held its primary election on Super Tuesday this year, I found myself in a position that I had never been in before as a voter. Having missed only one voting day since I assumed my civic duty, I am typically well-read on the candidates and am prepared weeks in advance to cast my ballot. This year though, things were different. I didn’t make up my mind until 10am on election day.Read Article

Painful Reminders

We’re all a bit detached from reality. We see ourselves in a certain light that tends to be a bit too favorable. At the very least, we have an ideal that we’re trying to reach. Daily we’re confronted with reality when we consider our mistakes, failings, and past errors that painfully remind us just how far we have to go.Read Article

Be You

We all wear masks. We instinctively alter our behavior when we believe that we’re being watched in order to match how we believe other people expect us to behave. This phenomenon is seen most clearly in children who are always seeking to please their parents. The problem with behavior modification is that it can stifle out what we truly want to express for the sake of being more socially palatable.Read Article

Grading Your Performance

It’s a good idea to think about your performance as a man and husband in terms of a grading scale. In days past, while you were still in school, you had some subjects that came easily to you in which you easily achieved an A with little effort. In some other subjects, you had a natural ability, but had to apply yourself more and may have hovered in the B range. Finally, there were (hopefully only) a few areas where you truly lacked a natural ability and had to work diligently to achieve a commendable grade. Life really is no different.Read Article

How Will You Use Your Fresh Start?

I love this time of year when I and every other writer on the Internet write about goals, resolutions, and fresh starts. It's part meeting a need and part recognizing that the New Year is the biggest time-based turning point in any given year.Read Article

What Great Things Will You Do in 2016

I've asked you how you will use the fresh start that the New Year gives you, but today I want to ask you a different question. What great things will you do in 2016?Read Article

Cutting Corners is Weak

Personal integrity is a key component to success. In fact, America's millionaires rated integrity as the number one reason for their success. Laziness is perhaps the greatest human vice. We have so much potential, the power of our minds, the dexterity of our hands, and a multitude of tools that to take all of these assets and not use them for anything is a waste. Our time and our days mean something, though in the moment that may not be entirely clear. Laziness is more than just complete idleness, it's also cutting corners. It's acceptable to acknowledge our tendency to find easy ways out. Half of the battle is knowing just who your enemy is. Instead of cutting those corners, and inevitably losing, do the job right.Read Article

The New Year Slump

It's about that time of year when people hit their New Year slump. The grand plans, resolutions, and goals have encountered the first wave of resistance and most will return to their old ways. To expect a perfect journey is unreasonable and, frankly, was more crazy than the goal to begin with. Resistance provides the opportunity to reinforce the "why" behind what you're doing.Read Article

When to Quit

Around this time of year, I'm always excited by the potential of the new year. I have a long list of things I want to try and do, and inevitably I start running at all of them, at the same time. While the new year is a great time to add some things to your life, it's also the perfect time to pare down activities that aren’t producing results.Read Article

Discipline Trickles Down

Alison's schedule around Holy Days is always a little tricky. Our parish generally offers sufficient Masses, but they don't offer evening Masses on Holy Days (or Sunday). That means that we can be legitimately scrambling to get to Mass. This year, her schedule meant that we needed to go to Mass on December 31st, instead of January 1st. While praying before Mass, I decided to ask for a gift for the new year. I thought about plenty of options, but settled on one that I thought would bring about all. I asked for the grace of discipline.Read Article

2016 Goals

2016 is officially here! As is my tradition, I wanted to share with you my goals for the upcoming year. Just as I did last year, my goals are balanced across all areas of my life: financial, spiritual, intellectual, career, social, family, and fun. Sharing them with you is a great way for me to stay accountable to them. I began my goal planning at the end of November and started actually working on my goals in mid-December.Read Article

Take Care of Your Things

In our disposable culture, there are very few things left that are well made. Quality construction comes at a price, and consumers would rather pay less now for a lower quality product that will need to be replaced than buy a high quality product and simply fix it when it's broken. This line of thinking applies to everything from cars to blenders.Read Article

Preserve Your Energy

Negativity is the biggest drain on our energy. Every day we encounter plenty of rabbit holes to go down; negative news stories, clickbait links, and even entertainment programs. I've just decided that it's not worth it to waste my time and energy on things that I have no control over and that are just going to bum me out.Read Article

Setting Your Goals for 2016

I think that the most interesting aspect of goal setting is looking at them in hindsight. As I sit here looking at the goals that I set for myself, I have to laugh at how much things have changed over the past 12 months. Some goals I beat by huge margins, and others I completely abandoned. It’s the nature of the year and the nature of change. The real secret to having goals that get accomplished is to start planning, in detail, right now.Read Article

Drive Safely this Season

As the cool Fall air moved into the region, I made a concerted effort to get Benedict outside more. We ran around in the yard, cleaned up our garden, and put away flower pots. He’s a determined little guy who loves his freedom, so we’d also walk the 50 yards or so of sidewalk in front of our house. Since I regularly take him on my walk with me (he rides in the stroller), he’s had plenty of opportunity to see cars drive by. During our walks on the sidewalk, he’d stop for every car, yell “HI!” and wave as they passed by. Many drivers looked and waved back, most did not.Read Article

Everyone Craves Respect

The Golden Rule should be the gold standard in human relationships, but my experience tells me it seldom is. I think we're all a bit confused about just what it means to be respectful of others. The fact remains, we all have within us a desire to be treated with respect, even when we disagree.Read Article

My Own Biggest Obstacle

When your thirst for change exceeds the threshold of your objections, things start to happen. We all have a series of objections when it comes to making changes in our lives. We like things the way they are, or the cost to make this particular change is too high. While it’s convenient to place the blame for our lack of change on external factors, the truth is that we’re our own biggest obstacle.Read Article

Change Requires Pain

There's something very real and raw about wanting to make changes in our lives. We all want to be better than we are today. We can see our future and (hopefully) we foresee brighter days with better financial security, better jobs, better opportunity, and better quality of life. The challenge is enduring the pains that it takes to get us from where we are to where we want to be.Read Article

I Hate Car Dealers

Alison and I are in the market for a new car. Well, we thought we wanted a car, but now we've decided on a van. A few weekends ago we spent a marathon three days car shopping. We went to three different dealers and a couple of private party sellers. We didn't walk away with a van, but I did walk away deeply disappointed with the process.Read Article

Daily Grooming

How we present ourselves to the world is an important aspect of live, and so making time for daily grooming is a must. To be fair, daily grooming can be a bit of a drag. Depending on the day, you may or may not feel like shaving, or you may opt for a few minutes of extra sleep instead of using that time for shaving. Regardless of how you feel on any particular day, make sure you take time for grooming.Read Article

Never Quit

Quitters quit. In perhaps the most obvious statement ever made on this blog, I'll state it again. People who are quitters quit things. The strange thing is that many quit just before they hit their inflection point. I've been tempted to quit this blog dozens, if not hundreds of times over the past two and a half years. At this point, the momentum is with me, and I just keep rolling. My writing skills have improved and I've found my voice.Read Article

A Society that Doesn't Read

We live in a society that doesn't read. In 2013 a quarter of Americans didn’t read a single book. Ouch. What a waste. (Author’s Note: It’s interesting that the median number of books was age and community agnostic, but not income agnostic!)Read Article

Where Do You Send Your Thoughts?

In a widely circulated Matthew Kelley talk, Matthew made the point that where you send your thoughts, your actions will follow. His point was that if you spend your time contemplating the things of God, your life will improve; if you spend your time contemplating sinful things, you will stay trapped in sin.Read Article

Be Courageous

When we think about courage, we often think about people overcoming all odds to accomplish something great. It may be an athlete reaching a new human speed record, a member of the Armed Services using their body as a shield against a grenade, or even someone who was told that they'd never walk again getting up and taking independent steps. We play up courage to a heroic level, one that's divorced from daily life, and certainly from our own life. We've got this all wrong.Read Article

Break Your Phone Addiction

Alison and I are both up for phone upgrades this month. It was with great glee that I watched the Apple September media event, knowing that I'd soon integrate this new technology into my workflow. Technology drives my work here at Catholic Husband and my work designing websites; its purpose is to make my life easier, better. There are apps to measure fitness, track chronic conditions, share news, connect with the world, check the weather, manage my business, and more. Yet, lately I’ve been feeling that my phone is starting to be more of a hinderance than a help.Read Article

The Speed of A Year

The speed of time never ceases to amaze me. It seems like every time I blink a day, week, month, season, or year is over. Perhaps no season travels faster than Summer. When it comes to big units of time (months, years), I seem to be intentional in how I spend my time, but in the days and hours, I tend to be more carefree. If I want to make those months and years mean something, I need to keep focused and live each day with purpose.Read Article

Believe in Yourself

There's a direct correlation between how successful you are and how diligently you work. The hardest workers get promoted the fastest, get the biggest raises, and are given the most freedom. You can be the top performer in your company if you show up every day and bring your A game.Read Article

The Value of Sharing

The world is an incredibly noisy place, even more so now that the Internet gives a bullhorn to anyone who wants one. There’s a great richness in this open flow of communication. We now get to hear the stories, voices, and viewpoints of a whole range of people that we wouldn't get to hear otherwise. A quick glance at your Facebook news feed and you'll find a plethora of stories liked or commented on by your friends. In this noisy world, we're foragers for each other.Read Article

Do the Essentials

Daily schedules fluctuate a lot. Between work, appointments, shopping, and after-school activities, every day looks a little different. In fact, this fluctuation isn’t restricted to day by day comparison. In the evening, you may find that your day ended up looking remarkably different than it did when it started. These fluctuations mean that things that you planned on doing may not have gotten done. When I'm pressed for time, I often cut my essentials - reading, prayer, and exercise. This approach is all wrong. Instead of seeking to save a few minutes from the things that you consider to be essential each day, look instead at your to-do list and defer a few tasks for another time.Read Article

Cutting Your Schedule

It's said that the worst boss that you'll ever work for is yourself. At one time or another, you may take on a side job in addition to the work at your main employer. When you take on additional work, there's little opportunity for you to take on additional hours in the day. Instead, hours have to be reallocated from activities such as watching TV, surfing the Internet, or sleep. At the same time, a fast paced life is kind of fun. The American Dream compels us to get out of bed at 5am and stay up late into the night toiling so that we can have it all.Read Article

How to Read the News

Online news is both a blessing and a curse. You can get up-to-the minute updates, but oftentimes the initial reporting is wrong. You can read stories from across the country and around the world, yet the stories are usually filtered depending on the bias of a particular news organization. Perhaps the worst part about online news sources is that the vast, vast majority of content is simply republished content from another source.Read Article

Resolve Conflicts

Far too many of us carry around burdens that we don't have to endure. Mistakes from the past haunt our daily lives and direct our actions. The guilt remains because, although time has passed since the incident, it remains unresolved. In the spiritual life, we have the Sacrament of Confession. The Sacrament is a time to talk it out, and receive forgiveness for our past mistakes. In our interpersonal lives, we need to make amends. Don't let your mistakes be enduring.Read Article

Traveling Parents

Today I want to put out a challenge to travelers everywhere: be kind to parents with young children.Read Article

Reset Occasionally

I keep rigorous track of my goals throughout the year. I've mentioned before that I use the HabitList app on my phone in order to keep tabs on how well I'm doing. HabitList uses a method called streaking in which the user attempts to repeat the same task for consecutive days with the goal of achieving the longest streak of days. After extended periods of failure and defeat, however, streaking can work against me. If I see that it's been a while since I've done a particular task, then I'm less inclined to do it. I fall victim to "one more day” thinking, in which it doesn’t matter if I skip today, because I can always do it tomorrow. Sometimes in life, and especially in the pursuit of a goal, it's ok to reset the clock.Read Article

Let Go of Past Hurts

I'm a grudge-holder. I don't do it for all things, but when a particular relational infraction occurs, if it's offensive enough, I'll hold on to it for a very long time. It's not the best system in the world and it certainly adds stress to my life because grudges keep coming up in my mind resulting in me reliving the offending action. The problem with holding on to past hurts is not just that we can't do anything about them today, but also that it makes us a prisoner of the past.Read Article

Fighting Impatience

Several times a week, I fail to reach the high Catholic Husband standard. Being the husband that I was made to be is indeed a very high bar and one that's only achievable through diligence, focus, and determination. Many times throughout the week I'll be working on some project and Alison will ask something of me. It's usually in those moments that I'm most impatient.Read Article

How to Deal with Traffic

Our National Driver's Education curriculum needs to be overhauled. At least half of the teaching time needs to be devoted to courtesy on the road. We all have a tendency towards road rage and frankly, it’s too often justified. When we get behind the wheel, it's as if an alter-ego takes over and all human decency goes out the window. Many of the delays and traffic jams are caused by people being jerks. One day this Spring, Benedict and I were caught in some heavy traffic on our way to pick up Alison from work. While in a 20-minute traffic jam, I saw a man who had all of his windows down, his headphones in, and smoking a cigar. While I don't approve of the headphones, I do approve of his attitude. He was in traffic, there was no way to avoid it, so he was going to enjoy it.Read Article

Humble Yourself

Humility may be the most unpopular virtue. We all love interacting with humble people and we enjoy their company, yet we can't bear being humble ourselves. We want to be strong, bold, brave, and independent, and humility challenges that view. Whenever we face sin or other struggles in our spiritual life, we can overcome them with humility. In fact, the best way to combat sin is by serving your wife.Read Article

Never Miss An Opportunity

Throughout any given day, we have plenty of opportunities to do the right thing. Several months ago, I was grocery shopping when I saw a man in a power scooter reaching for a product on the top shelf. A teen employee from the store stood there and watched. I felt compelled to help the man, and so I did. If I hadn't, the man's life wouldn't have been any different. I'm sure there are many times during the day when he has to reach for something that's just out of reach. I'm not a hero, but I'd hope that my small act of kindness made him feel a little more human that day. Every day brings us dozens of opportunities to serve and help our neighbor and I hope that you're taking action on at least a few of them.Read Article

Thank A Vet

Five words are all it takes to make the difference in a service member's life. We see men and women all the time who are either currently serving in our Armed Forces or wearing apparel that tells us that they served. I strongly encourage you to take a moment, stop them, and say, "Thank you for your service."Read Article

Editing Friendships

College is the gilded age of friendships. At no other point in your life are you more fully immersed in your peer group. You live together en masse, you share numerous experiences in the forms of classes, exams, campus jobs, and events. Most importantly, you live in close quarters. Certainly your friend group is of a certain size, but you also have a massive acquaintance circle full of people that you know in connection to your coursework. This acquaintance group isn't one that you necessarily hang out with all the time, but you do greet each other in passing. College is full of social connectedness.Read Article

Respect Women

Sex sells, even when it's irrelevant. Watching commercials during the Super Bowl underscores this interesting point. Advertisers and companies use sex to sell things that really have nothing to do with human sexuality, like web hosting or restaurants. We're a sex-crazed people and it needs to stop.Read Article

Adult Report Cards

When I was in high school, in my Junior and Senior year, I was introduced to something truly horrible. It was a system called EdLine and it gave my parents direct, realtime access to my teacher's grade books. While I performed well academically, the pressure of constantly knowing one's grade was almost too much. With the press of a button, a bad test grade could ruin an entire weekend. My parents loved it because they had a granular view of my progress and could spot trends.Read Article

Turn Off the News

Since late last summer, I’ve had a subscription to the Wall Street Journal. It’s my first newspaper subscription, having before gotten the majority of news from websites. I must say, there have been a lot of unexpected difference in the print news as opposed to digital news. I’ve grown to hate 24 hour news networks.Read Article

Make Time to Read

There are limitless ways for us to use our free time during the day, but most activities leave us feeling empty. Watching a TV show can be entertaining in the moment, but when the moment has passed, it's plain to see that nothing really impacted you during the previous half hour. The plot may have been captivating and some of the lines may have even elicited laughs during the broadcast. Yet, once the credits start rolling, you're back to your life right where you were before you started watching.Read Article

Don't Press Snooze

I have three layers of alarms each morning. My Fitbit has 3 silent alarms scheduled each morning for 4:55am, 4:57am, and 4:59am. At those times, it vibrates on my arm until I press a button to dismiss it. At 5:00am the lights in my bedroom slowly come on. Finally, as a fail-safe, at 5:05am, a very loud, and very annoying, alarm on my phone goes off. Most days, all I need is the Fitbit. Some days, I need the lights to help. On a rare occasion, my phone is there to save the day from getting away from me.Read Article

Have Clear Motivations

There are a lot of things that I'd like to do. Almost every day, I get a new idea for some project or goal that I'd like to work on. It might be an area of my life or schedule that I want to improve, such as incorporating more reading time for Benedict. It might be a new book idea or some new app. All of these ideas are inspiring in the moment and really quite appealing. I'm often tempted to change direction or course and to charge at this new idea. After a few hours or a few days, most of the ideas subside and I'm left with the ones that really mean something to me.Read Article

End Month One

If you can believe it, we've already reached January 30th. Yes, just 30 short days ago we all experienced the hope, newness, and excitement of the New Year! I, along with pretty much the rest of the Internet, talked about some strategies for setting goals and making this your best year yet!Read Article

Motivate Yourself

The New Year is always a popular time for fitness goals. Setting a fitness goal for yourself in 2015 is a brilliant idea. Your goals should encompass all areas of your life and physical health is one of the most important. Your overall health affects all other areas of your life, so making choices to improve it are a wise investment. The thing about your goals is that you need to do more than set them. You need to work on them.Read Article

My 2015 Goals

The New Year is here! 2014 is over and gone and 2015 has officially arrived.Read Article

Why Resolutions Fail

We’re very rapidly approaching 2015 and with it, the onslaught of New Year’s Resolutions. Year after year, people make promises to themselves that invariably collapse by January 15th. Why don’t resolutions work?Read Article

What to Do When You Want to Add Something New

Time is finite. Each day, we have just 24 hours to spend on our pursuits. Between 6 and 8 of those hours are dedicated to sleep, leaving us about 16 waking hours. How we spend that time directly impacts our lives and the lives of those around us.Read Article

The Power of Discipline

In the moment, discipline is never pleasant. Once the occasion has passed, we all love it’s benefits. Discipline is the difference between a complete success and an utter failure.Read Article

Why You Should Wake Up at 5am

5am is early. As I write this, it’s 5:19am and I’ve been up for 25 minutes. It seems crazy. There really isn’t much of a need for me to be up this early. Or is there?Read Article

How to Avoid Wasting Afternoons

Wasting time is a waste of time.Read Article

You're Worth More than A Paycheck

At some point in our lives, we each ask ourselves the question, “What is my worth?"Read Article

Change One Fault Per Month

Two weeks ago, I wrote about conversion in our lives. In the post, I talked about how conversion doesn’t happen overnight, but through thousands of small decisions.Read Article

Last Thoughts of the Day

A few weeks ago, I wrote about your last words of the day. (Link) In that article, I talked about how you should dedicate the last words you have each day to prayer. But what about the last thoughts of the day?Read Article

A Line in the Sand

Our lives are an experiment. We have one chance to live, and as a part of that experience, we have to find our way. Thankfully, we have wise parents to help us not make major mistakes. In large part, though, we’re able to quite easily fall into ruts.Read Article

A Fresh Start, Daily

If you’re like me, you’re really good at making mistakes. Oftentimes, you’ll reach expert level in your mistakes. When you get stuck in a rut, what does it take to get you out and back on the right path?Read Article

Subject Matter Authority

Last month I achieved a major milestone for both myself personally and for Catholic Husband. We released our first book, The Transition. I was both overwhelmed and touched with the response! One of the commenters, a veteran of the married life, commented on his first experiences of reading Catholic Husband. He remarked that initially he wondered what he could learn from me, a kid new to the game. It wasn’t meant in a disparaging way, he was just stating a fact. A fact that I fully agree with.Read Article

Planning Margin Time

Think of the most successful people that you know. Consider what they do, their characteristics and all of the many obligations that they have. They’re pretty busy, aren’t they? The most successful people in life have a lot on their plate and they still get it all done. How do they do it? Disciplined time management.Read Article

Reclaiming Wasted Time

Time is our most precious commodity. Like our health, once it’s gone, it’s not coming back. Yet, with so many minutes at our command, it can be dangerously easy to let seconds slip to minutes, slip to hours, slip to days without taking advantage of them.Read Article

Men vs. Bros

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. We live in a world full of boys. Actually, let me rephrase; we live in a world full of bros. We are men surrounded by an ocean of bros.Read Article

Keeping Yourself in Balance

Each stage of our lives has unique benefits. The single life brings freedom, but a lack of companionship. The married life brings companionship, but the inability to run from trouble. The life of a parent brings joy in new live, but difficulty in maintaining your own schedule.Read Article

Carry On

There’s only one thing you can do when you fail: carry on.Read Article

You're Not A Punk

You’re not a punk. Believe me, we’ve both met a lot of punks out there.Read Article

You're Not that Important

I don’t really mean that. You’re important to someone. Hopefully a lot of someones. You’re just not that important to your company.Read Article