September 30, 2024
Life, and parenting, is full of shifts. From infants to teenagers, our children progress at a rapid clip. But it’s easy to find ourselves answering today’s challenges with yesterday’s solutions. Our children are always adapting to their changing worlds, but for adults, we can forget.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
September 16, 2024
It’s easy to wait for whatever’s next. Let this moment pass by, it’s nothing compared to what’s coming next. Life starts to feel like the Sims, where we check off a few things, kill time until bed, then wake up to do it over again. It’s easy to slip into this mindset because thinking about everything we have to do today, and tomorrow, and the next day, is paralyzing. Sinking into the couch and scrolling is cathartic escapism that soothes us in the now, but robs us blind.
Read ArticleTags: Productivity
August 05, 2024
Late last week, my neighbor across the street was out attempting to finish mowing his lawn. It was hot, he was no doubt tired and just wanting to be done. As he worked on edging the front sidewalk, his toddler waddled over, pacifier in mouth, and gleefully observed his dad at work.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
July 29, 2024
Summer continues, and my children still blissfully spend their days with ended self-directed activity. Audiobooks, creative play, play-dough, they have not a care in the world. For me, my work continues.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
July 15, 2024
Summer, like all seasons, is racing past. When it seems like just yesterday school’s shut their doors, we’re now past the 4th of July and the new school year is coming in view. Three of my children are away and this week it’s just me and my youngest.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
April 29, 2024
Last year, when we got a dog, I thought that life would be simple. Dogs, unlike cats, are thought to be loyal and obedient. When a family needed them to do something, they would do it in a no drama way. I was wrong. Our dog, a creature all her own, has an agenda all her own. Usually, she goes with the flow, but there are plenty of occasions each week on which she doesn’t want to get with the program.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
March 25, 2024
Parenting is a regimented and structured adventure, with known milestones sprinkled throughout the growth and development of your children. Although I know these milestones, and can see them coming, they always seem to catch me by surprise.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
February 26, 2024
Friday was a good day. Although it started straightforward enough, my plans were busier than usual. Not only did we have schoolwork to accomplish and work to do, it was also laundry day and I wanted to vote early.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
February 19, 2024
Parenting young children is exhausting, and although I know my aunt is being truthful when she wholeheartedly recommends retirement to me, I’m able to recognize that every season has its challenges and its rewards.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
January 08, 2024
For the entire existence of humanity, there has been a singular experience that unites us. No matter the time, geolocation, cultural surroundings or economic environment, human reproduction was universally recognized as an essential good. The gradual transition from child to adult to parent was a natural progression that was something to be celebrated. Not only did it denote a degree of maturity, but was also a sign of growing wisdom. The student truly becoming the master.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
June 19, 2023
A decade ago, at the height of the third-party mobile app ecosystem, I was trying tons of shiny new apps. One was a greeting card generator, that you could design in the app, and which would be printed and mailed to the recipient. It was fine, but I quickly moved on. I hadn’t given that app much thought until three weeks ago. They emailed me, letting me know that Father’s Day was around the corner, and that know that it could be a painful day for many. They wanted to give me the opportunity to opt-out from their Father’s Day marketing emails.
Read ArticleTags: Manliness
June 05, 2023
Halfway through my kids’ summer vacation, and I’ve hammered through my to-do list. Projects, tasks, and ideas from late 2022 are finally percolating to the top, and getting done. I’m eating great, working out, and watching movies in broad daylight. My schedule is my own, I am the Master & Commander of my schedule. My house is empty, and although I appear to be doing all the things that I desire, I, too, am empty.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
May 29, 2023
Summer vacation is finally here, and the kids are off with their grandparents for two weeks. Alison and I drove home yesterday and, for the first time in nearly three years, are home alone.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
May 08, 2023
The cold days of winter are behind us as the days grow warmer and spring fills all of us with a sense of newness. As we near the end of the school year, in the midst of this newness, my thoughts are turning back to my family’s daily rhythm.
Read ArticleTags: Prayer
March 20, 2023
Ten years ago, I launched this blog. With a plan, and a few months worth of work, I wrote and prepared articles for publication. They were simple, short, and to the point. I wrote about the lessons that I’d experienced, the things I was thinking about, and the experiences that I had.
Read ArticleTags: Reflections
March 13, 2023
For nearly fourteen hours each day, my life is filled with abundant sound and light. Some of it is at my direction, much of it is outside of my control. Like my father before me, I try to bend the sound by playing calm music in the background, though not always to great effect.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
February 20, 2023
I have 60–90 minutes each evening between when the children are finally in bed and when it’s time for me to go to sleep. I find myself incredibly pensive during this time, and often seeking to maximize the conclusion to my day. Frequently, I feel too tired to do anything and opt to go to bed early.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
June 06, 2022
This week, Benedict will complete his initiation into the Catholic faith when he receives the Sacrament of Confirmation. With just a few days to go, I took him to Adoration on Friday night.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
May 23, 2022
Work expands to the time that you give it. Work is a good thing, giving structure and purpose to our days. It allows us to share our skills with others, and to provide economically for our family.
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November 08, 2021
There’s a great human interest story making its rounds about a high school in Louisiana. They’ve suffered numerous fights this academic year, leading to dozens of students arrested or expelled. Not wanting to let this sort of behavior continue, over 40 dads in the community signed up to patrol the school hallways.
Read ArticleTags: Community
September 27, 2021
My day has a way of getting away from me. For the first 90 minutes that I’m up, I’m in complete control. I walk, read the paper, pray, drink coffee. It’s quiet, still, and orderly. As soon as the first pair of small feet come down the stairs, everything goes out the window.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
August 16, 2021
This November is the two-year anniversary of the release of my book
Humble Service, a book about the lessons learned on my journey as an at-home dad. The topic of that book, like this blog, is a part of my identity as a student of life.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
July 05, 2021
On Saturday morning, I woke up at 5:00am and went for a walk. I came home, sat down, and read the news. This is a pretty normal morning for me. Just after 7:00am, three of my children came downstairs very excited. The day that they were waiting for had finally arrived!
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
June 21, 2021
What is the measure of a good father? Is it the serenity in his house, the manicured lawn, or perhaps just food on the table every evening? All men contemplate their self-worth. This is an intellectual process that naturally occurs in life. The easiest answer is in the economic value that they produce for their family. While helpful, a utilitarian approach denies the most important contribution a father makes. The true value of a father is his love.
Read ArticleTags: Manliness
May 17, 2021
My knowledge as a parent goes only as far as my oldest child. I know how to deal with young kids, but am clueless about pre-teens, teens, and beyond. I understand that the journey of a parent is about growing and nurturing a child to become a healthy, functional adult. There are plenty of pitfalls along the path to autonomy and independence. I can only control so many variables because, in the end, my goal is not control. Like God, I do not want robot children. I want children who can stand on their own two feet, live up to their potential, contribute meaningfully to society, and live a fruitful life.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting Virtue
January 18, 2021
Over the weekend, I finished reading a book. The last time I accomplished that feat was in August. I’ve started a walking streak, another habit that I’ve let slide in the past 90 days. My sleep schedule is out of whack, and I’ve lived day-to-day. I could just blame it on everything that was 2020, but in my experience, this is something cyclical. I fall into and out of routine.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
November 23, 2020
For nearly three years, I’ve done most of my shopping via pickup. From time to time, though, I need to go into the store to make a return. Doing that with four kids plus the item to be returned is no easy task. One night last week, with the kids in their pajamas and ready for bed, I left the house to run some errands.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting Prayer
October 12, 2020
I bring a lot of structure and process to my life. During the day, when I’m alone with my children, I need that support. I need to have decisions pre-made for me so that when it’s time to go, I only have to execute. Sometimes I use these ready-made solutions for safety, like the order in which we get into and out of the van (everyone uses a single, passenger side door). At other times, it’s just for simplicity (I always arrange my children’s plates on the counter in the same order).
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September 14, 2020
I came up in the Boy Scouts program, rising from the 1st Grade Tigers program to the rank of Eagle Scout. Along the trail, I learned many life skills. That achievement was a direct result of the constant support of my parents as I progressed through the ranks. As a military child who moved frequently, Scouts formed the third pillar of external stability in my life, aside from Church and school. No matter where we went, the Scouts were there.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
September 07, 2020
A new school year is upon us. For many parents, September is like a second January, a natural point in the year when we review our life, our goals, and our aspirations. For me, I want to change something in my relationship with my children.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting Productivity
February 17, 2020
Our society is suffering from an intellectual sickness. We lack curiosity. Ideas are no longer challenged and explored, but instead are accepted on their face. This lack of curiosity is leading many to believe the false notion that faith has no role to play in the life of the post-modern man.
Read ArticleTags: Communication
February 03, 2020
About the time that dinner ends each evening, I crash. My energy runs out, and I want nothing more than to get the kids into bed and sit down. Bedtime is a special time for little ones, and a golden opportunity to wrap up your day. It’s hard to embrace it for what it is when you need a break.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
January 20, 2020
After several months of vacation, I’ve gotten back into my routine of walking each morning before the kids get up. My day can be very exhausting, so by getting my mind and body right before the sun comes up, I’m better prepared to take on the challenges of being a stay-at-home parent.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
January 13, 2020
As the stay-at-home parent in my family, I struggle with the tension of rest. There are some days when I feel completely drained and I can’t wait for Alison to walk in the door so that someone else can take over watching the kids. The dilemma is that I know that Alison has been busy working all day, too. How can I reconcile handing off the kids when I know that she’s been through more than me? What do you do when you feel exhausted and know there’s no break on the horizon?
Read ArticleTags: Productivity Wellness
December 16, 2019
I woke up at my normal time on Saturday morning, went for my walk, came home, and got ready for the day. I walked into the kitchen at about the same time that I normally do each morning. The only difference from any other weekday on that cold December morning is that my whole family was still fast asleep in their warm beds. I pulled out a box of muffin mix and spent twenty minutes baking a dozen fresh blueberry muffins.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
November 25, 2019
Life as a stay-at-home dad was nothing like I expected. For the first two years, with only a toddler to watch, I was bored. As my family grew, I quickly became overwhelmed. Juggling care for the kids and managing the house proved to be a bigger challenge than I could’ve ever imagined. I spent five years trying to find my identity, when it was right in front of me the entire time.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
November 04, 2019
Many people want the title, pomp, and circumstance that comes with leadership. They crave the seniority, the deference, the perks, the reserved parking spot, and the corner office. Few want the responsibility. Leadership is about serving, not being served. As a true servant leader, Jesus taught us that. He didn’t seek praise or preferential treatment. Instead, He did the things that no one else wanted to do. He spoke to people that others looked down upon and He challenged every social norm. He challenged us in order to lead us to Truth. He was a servant leader all the way to the cross.
Read ArticleTags: Manliness
October 07, 2019
When you think about your overall health, or even your performance as a stay-at-home dad, I want you to think in terms of balance. Like a body builder who ensures that his routine doesn't neglect any major group of muscles, take the time to work on each major aspect of your life. That’s what this chapter is all about. Your intellectual growth is just as important as your spiritual or physical health. Reading before bedtime can also be a great sleep aid. On nights when I read immediately before laying down, I will typically fall asleep in minutes.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting Wellness
July 22, 2019
Expectations of fathers change over time. There was a period of time where the only requirement of fathers was to pursue their career for the good of the family. This is the nuclear age,
Leave it to Beaver, model in which the mother manages the children, the shopping, and the cleaning. The man would get up, get ready for work, and come downstairs to a prepared breakfast. Same thing in reverse for his arrival at the end of the day.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
July 15, 2019
In the world of international diplomacy, there are two main forms of exerting pressure on another nation. The first is hard power. That’s to say, military force. If you want to bend another nation to your will, you can take direct military action and try to force their hand. The second, and perhaps more effective, is soft power. Soft power is influence. In diplomacy it consists of lobbying, economic aid, and other tools by which you can try to win the hearts and minds of your opponent.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
July 07, 2019
St. Benedict is a well known figure within Catholicism, but his impact had a direct role on the preservation of Western Culture. Benedict grew up in an affluent Italian family and was sent to Rome to continue his studies. While there, he applied himself to his schooling, but was appalled by the moral weakness of his peers. In frustration, he fled.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
May 13, 2019
Parenting in every era has its unique challenges. It's never been easy and the challenges are always different. One aspect of parenting is allowing your children to be children. The innocence of a child, once lost, can never be restored. It’s no longer enough to keep your kids from physically being surrounded by influences that you believe are bad for them. In a digital age, those people can get to your kids without ever meeting them.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
November 26, 2018
I’m the parent of three small children. I stay home with them during the day, and am so grateful to have Alison there with me in the evenings and on weekends. We’re a team, and we’re constantly exhausted. Some days I struggle to get out of bed and make good on the commitments that I’ve made. There’s seldom quiet and no break is ever long enough.
Read ArticleTags: Manliness Virtue
October 08, 2018
I have an ambitious goal. In many ways, it may appear opposed to who I am as a person. I consider myself to be well versed in technology. I stay up to date on the latest news, and many of my RSS subscriptions (see what I mean?) are of tech blogs.
Goal: zero minutes of screen time per week for my kids.
Read ArticleTags: Community Parenting
June 12, 2018
Parents have to do many uncomfortable things, not least of which is provide their children with a sexual education. This is what it means to be a parent, to shepherd the hearts of their children and raise them in truth. Moms and dads are irreplaceable, and they must be people of courage and integrity. I think that parents yield too much of their responsibility to schools.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting Sexuality
June 05, 2018
I’m the youngest of three kids. Before I had my first child, I didn’t know anything about kids. I understand that my little ones may be confusing, but there’s something that I want you to know.
Read ArticleTags: Sacraments
February 20, 2018
As a parent, I have a ton of things that I want to teach my children. I want to give them the skills and values that I believe will help them grow into healthy, well-adjusted members of society. Resilience is one of those skills.
Read ArticleTags: Education Parenting
November 22, 2017
The life of a stay-at-home dad isn’t easy. It’s much more difficult than I imagined it would be. My days are in constant motion. I get out of bed at 5 am, because if I don’t have time for myself before 7 am, I won’t see another moment until after 7 pm.
Read ArticleTags: Gratitude Parenting
November 17, 2016
I underestimated how impactful parenting would be in my spiritual life. Nothing has better helped me to understand the mind of God than being a dad. We spend a lot of time talking about Jesus, but we forget about getting to know the Father and Holy Spirit. Parenting is helping me to cover that lost ground.
Read ArticleTags: Virtue
August 04, 2016
When Felicity arrived this Spring, I had just gotten a handle on how to deal with Benedict. Now a toddler, he’s incredibly bright and interactive. We had a weekly routine organized that consisted of errands, trips to the library, adventures to see family, and even ways he could help around the house. As with all things, the moment that we get comfortable and confident, things change.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
June 09, 2016
There are certain experiences that are universal to all parents. Children, regardless of culture and environment, all act in generally the same manner. They all follow the same mental growth curve and have the same milestones. Raking things towards themselves turns into a pincher grasp. Crawling turns into unstable standing. Babbles turn into words, which turn into sentences. As children follow this invisible curve, parents follow their own growth curve. We develop strong feelings of protection, strong opinions on proper parenting, and eventually, feelings of inadequacy.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
June 07, 2016
One of the areas of parenting that I didn’t anticipate being uncomfortable with is timeouts. I wouldn’t say that Benedict has a case of the terrible twos, but I would say that he is certainly learning how to process his emotions. He’s a very easy going little guy whose bad moods can generally be managed by a simple change of scenery. Otherwise, he’s a joy to be with and lots of fun. Yet, like any toddler, his actions merit a timeout a few times per day.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting Reflections
May 19, 2016
Lately I’ve developed a real interest in car care. I want our cars to last, so I try to wash them weekly and keep them clean. I’ve always been on the meticulous side when it comes to the cleanliness of our cars, but these days I’ve also taken an interest in making improvements. I’ve upgraded the rearview mirror, the interior lights, and the radio on the van in recent weeks. While working on these projects, it occurred to me that I’m now the dad and these are the kinds of things that I do now. Several times I’ve been in a bind while making a repair, but with no one to back me up, I just had to troubleshoot my way through the problem and make it work. During these times, I realized just how fun it is to be a dad.
Read ArticleTags: Manliness Parenting
April 13, 2016
I’m experiencing a noticeable difference between Alison’s first pregnancy and her second: I’m a lot more cool and controlled. With less than two months until the arrival of our daughter, we’re only now starting to make physical preparations. It’s not that we’re disinterested, just that there’s less mystery. Less mystery requires less planning. We have almost everything already, now all that we need are the little essentials.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
April 11, 2016
Benedict’s favorite part of the work week happens on Thursday mornings at our library; he absolutely loves story time. Even though we’ve only been going for a few months, he knows when we’re driving to the library and he always charges into the story room. It’s a great time for us to be out and about, for him to interact with other little people, and for him to learn from someone other than me.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
March 31, 2016
Servant leadership is a term that’s very popular in management circles. It attempts to form leaders who care less about power and more about using their influence to lift up their team members. Servant leadership turns the traditional model of leadership on its head by using its forces for good, instead of allowing itself to become susceptible to corruption. While it may be atypical to find servant leaders in the workforce, one place that it is easy to find these great leaders is in the home.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
March 28, 2016
I love Spring. Nature reminds us of the joy of new life and it also signals the beginning of the outdoor season. Every member of the family values, to admittedly varying degrees, time spent together as a family. As humans, we crave connection, and family time gives us that in a very safe and stable way. Just as it’s important to provide a young child with a variety of activities, your family time shouldn’t be spent solely in your living room. Spring and Summer present a wide variety of outdoor fun that can bring joy to all members of your family.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting Wellness
March 23, 2016
I enjoy systems and stability. I like to learn how to do something, experiment to find the most efficient process, and then implement that process repeatedly to complete a task. I have 90 minutes to work in the morning before Benedict gets up. On weekdays, I spend that time working on web design for clients, on Saturday mornings I write, and on Sunday mornings, I play. I’ve tried many variations of my schedule, but that one works, so I stick with it. There’s little need to review or make course corrections in how I lay out my week because the work is already done. It’s set, I move on. There is, however, one area of my life where this type of plan and repeat process doesn’t work: parenting.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
March 14, 2016
Every moment is a teachable moment in a child’s life. What your children don’t realize is that as a parent, you’re constantly figuring out what to do. The life of a parent is one of judgement, evaluation, and action. We have to judge the proper course, model the expected behavior, and act decisively and within the vision of our children. We learn each day how to be better for tomorrow, but more importantly, all of this introspection helps us to define who we truly want to be and to start moving in that direction.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity Parenting
February 24, 2016
I wanted our next child to be a girl. When the ultrasound confirmed it, I was elated. Her name is Felicity and she’s arriving in June.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
January 28, 2016
This blog post was originally intended to be a reflection on how the beauty of shared parenting reveals the true design of parenthood. I was going to discuss the many times when Alison has been there to help ease my struggles with caring for Benedict and how our system ensures a consistent experience for Benedict. As I sat down to write this post a few weeks ago, Benedict was crying. Usually he's asleep at 5am on a Saturday morning, so this behavior was unusual. I waited a few minutes to ensure that he was actually awake, not wanting to disrupt what may have been just a momentary expression of emotion after a bad dream.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
January 14, 2016
Earlier last year, Alison and I started discussing acquiring a minivan. We've been a one car family for about 18 months, but as we looked to the future, the time for us to expand our fleet was drawing near. Logically, we decided a minivan would be the right choice for our next car.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
January 11, 2016
We're nearing the half-way mark of Alison's pregnancy. This has been a very quick ride (for me, at least) compared to last time. I feel more confident in what's happening and what's going to happen. We're also getting to the fun part. Alison is starting to feel kicks, soon we'll (hopefully) know the gender, and in just a few short months, I'll be holding my second child in my arms.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
January 06, 2016
A few months ago, I was one confused dad. As a first time parent, all of the development stages in Benedict's life are new to me. As a man, I'm a little less in tune with the changes going on in his life. To be sure, Benedict is extremely gentle and considerate. He shares everything very willingly, a trait that I hope he continues to have as he steps into the leadership role of big brother this summer.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
December 30, 2015
My younger self would be very disappointed in me if he knew the truth. I like jazz. When I was in 4th grade, my dad got really into jazz and would have it playing as background music each night during family dinner. He loved it, my siblings and I did not. This small chapter of my childhood reveals a simple truth: we’re all like our dads in one way or another.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
December 14, 2015
My goal in raising Benedict is that he grow into a wholesome, mature man worthy of a great woman. The path to this ideal is filled with challenges, especially as he will face pressure from his peers and the temptations to make poor choices. I want him to preserve his honor, and the honor of those whom he associates with, so that he can present himself as a worthy gift to his wife should he be called to the married life.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
November 18, 2015
Love is a concept that's been distorted and misunderstood. We all yearn to hear the words "I love you," but few of us can comprehend what it truly means until we're tested. It's easy to tell someone that you love them when all is going well, but what about when the whole world has been turned upside down? I think the best model of love in our world is that of a parent for their child.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
October 14, 2015
Now that more of my friends are getting married and having kids, my Facebook timeline, or whatever we're calling it now, is filled with pictures of children. Heck, I look at my own Instagram and it's basically just pictures of Benedict. To some it may be annoying, but I think this all speaks to a deeper truth. Children are the most important thing in their parent's lives.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
October 08, 2015
A father's role in his children's lives is unique. I've written before about how
fathers are irreplaceable, but today I want to focus on how you're a rock for your children. We all have needs. We want to feel emotionally secure and safe. Kids are no different. As fathers, our children depend on us to help them meet that feeling of safety.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
October 01, 2015
Recently I've been looking back at old videos of Benedict. Man that kid was fat. What also strikes me is that knowing him today, I can totally see him and his personality in these videos. He shows the same curiosity, cheerfulness, and desire to be around people as he displays in his actions today. I'm so glad that we've captured many of those moments so that he'll have them to enjoy later in life.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
September 30, 2015
Throughout the course of my education, I have had hundreds of teachers. I can say that, to the best of my recollection, only one didn't have passion. I had ineffective teachers, I had "bad" teachers, but nearly all of them had an intense passion for their careers, for their vocations. This deep desire to do well for their students is a unique asset in the teaching profession.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
September 29, 2015
Now that I've been a full-time caregiver to Benedict (read "stay-at-home parent") for just over a year, I can admit that it's nothing like what I thought. Part of this reality is of my own choosing and the other part is unexpected reality. Our house is too small and Benedict's needs are too limited right now for my duties to expand to take up my entire day. I can clean the house in an hour and Benedict is still napping for 4-6 hours during the day. Were I not working, the rest of my hours awake would just be play time for me. Here's what I've learned.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
July 28, 2015
One of the most difficult challenges that parenting presents is passing on family values. If you value health, then don't give your kids three scoops of ice cream for dessert every night. If you value community, share a meal around the table at least once a day. Engage in family activities that reinforce family identity, values, and mutual growth.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
July 16, 2015
Benedict has been sleeping less lately, meaning that he requires more entertainment during the day. He's mostly satisfied if I'm at least in the same room as him, but he won't let me work at the nook that we have in the family room without him sitting on my lap. As his behaviors evolve, I have less time to get work done. While some may view it as an inconvenience, I don't. It simply means I need to be more productive while he sleeps, and ensure that I'm getting up at 5am so I can get everything done.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
July 06, 2015
Most days, I'm surprised that I'm a father. Certainly Benedict has been in my life for nearly two years, yet actually being in these shoes, it's still quite shocking. I know that the challenge of parenthood is going to be the biggest one that I face, and I know that it evolves every single day as he grows. I'm learning all that I can so that I can help Benedict be a man, with a clean heart and a free conscience.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
June 11, 2015
Growing up, one of the staples of my day happened just before bed. As I lay in bed, my dad would come into my room and we'd have a "goodnight talk." These few minutes just before I fell asleep would be full of conversation, jokes, and inevitably, some tickling. We could discuss whatever I wanted, I could ask any question because it was my time. Perhaps my favorite goodnight talk would be when my dad "made" me into bread, which was essentially a few minutes of tickling, rolling, and general silliness. There's so much talk in parenting circles today about the importance and impact of strong fathers and my dad's goodnight talks could be a case study in effective parenting. Perhaps the most difficult part about his being deployed so often was that we'd miss out on many goodnight talks.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
June 05, 2015
Family road trips are the stuff of legend. Earlier this year, Alison, Benedict, and I rented a van and made the 12 hour drive to Michigan. It was my first trip driving a minivan since I was in high school and boy was having all of that space nice! In my family, my dad would always drive on our road trips. Now that I'm the dad doing the driving, I know that providing a safe and comfortable trip for my family is a great experience.
Read ArticleTags: Community
May 15, 2015
Last Fall, I wrote about
To Kill A Mockingbird and the great scene where Atticus explains to his daughter that he has to have integrity, that he has to be the same person in public as he is in private. I took that scene and applied it to our Catholic identity and how we need to be bold in the public square expressing our faith with the same level of comfort as we do in our homes. In fact, that part of the book had such a profound impact on me that this is the fourth time that I've discussed this great American literary work since March of 2013. Today, I want to turn this lesson back on us again, only this time to discuss the integrity that it takes to be a real man. You need to be the man you ought to be, even when your family isn't around.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
May 11, 2015
It's been a year since I started caring for Benedict full time. It's almost hard to believe not just that a year has passed, but how quickly his development has progressed. He's awake more, walking around, and talking to me. I share one of the looming questions that I'm confident every dad asks himself on a daily basis, "Am I doing enough?" Am I doing enough to support and promote his development? Am I doing enough to help him have confidence and trust in himself? Am I doing enough to make sure that he knows that he's safe with me? Am I doing enough to help him know that he's loved? Your kids need love, attention, affection and time from you. If you're giving them those things, then you're doing enough.
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April 29, 2015
One June evening in 1996, I was almost left without a father. My dad was deployed in Saudi Arabia when the barracks next to his was bombed by terrorists. As I think back on that night, though I was quite young, I'm grateful that my dad was not among the 19 killed in action that night. While our culture doesn't put a premium on the impact that a great dad can have on a kid's life, the fact remains that no one can take your place. You're uniquely and perfectly suited for your wife. Your marriage is the most important relationship in your life, more important than that of yours with your children and more important than your relationship with your parents. Certainly these relationships are in a very close second place, but nothing will ever be as important as your marital relationship. It's the spring from which blessings flow, and no one can take that place of honor.
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April 17, 2015
One of the books that I've read this year was
Eat Mor Chikin: Inspire More People by Truett Cathy. The book was Truett's way of sharing his thoughts on business, how he built Chick-fil-a into a national brand, and how he treats people. In the book, Truett tells a story about a man who sat down next to him on a plane and inquired about how to keep his teenage kids on the straight and narrow. While he was listening to Truett, he ordered a beer. Truett asked if he drank beer in front of his kids and intimated the importance of the example set by this gentleman for his children.
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April 09, 2015
A few weeks ago, Alison called me on her way home from the hospital. She was listening to Catholic radio and the host had suggested that parents pray a monthly novena for their children's vocations. I instantly thought of the struggles in discerning my own vocation and the benefit that 18 years of constant prayer could gain. We shepherd our children's lives, why not pray for their vocations?
Read ArticleTags: Parenting Prayer
April 08, 2015
Earlier this year, Mark Hart from Life Teen was on Lino Rulli's The Catholic Guy Show right after Super Bowl Sunday. Mark, an avid sports fan, was discussing how viewing the Super Bowl has changed in the years since he became a father. Predictably, he spent little time actually watching the game this year. Instead, he was helping his wife and interacting with his kids. Mark's story perfectly illustrates how marriage requires both a full commitment and a willingness to make your wife and family the priority in your life.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
March 27, 2015
Although Benedict is recently beginning to prefer walking to crawling, I've already begun to plan out all of the activities and hobbies that I want to introduce him to. He should learn Spanish and hey, maybe I'll learn with him. He should learn to play the piano or saxophone... I'll do it too! His grandfather and I are both pilots, so was his great grandfather, so he definitely needs to learn how to fly. There are literally endless possibilities and each of them is equally exciting.
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March 18, 2015
A routine is perhaps the greatest tool in the toolbox of parenting. Kids do wonderfully with routines. Not only do they provide consistency, but they give cues to kids about how they should behave. Routines also help parents manage the dozens of tasks that come with caring for and raising children. A routine helps a parent make major decisions once and simply manage them daily.
Read ArticleTags: Education Parenting
March 04, 2015
As I look back on the pictures of Benedict from his first year of life, I'm suddenly very aware of the fact that not too long ago, he couldn't roll over on his own. When we first moved into our townhouse last summer, he could barely crawl. Now, just a few months later, he's standing on his own and taking a few brave steps.
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March 03, 2015
We're living in a very confusing time. For whatever reason, we've stopped seeing people as uniquely beautiful, each with something to offer. Domestic violence is alarmingly high, pornography and human trafficking is arguably more prevalent than ever, rates of absentee fathers are through the roof, and marriage is no longer permanent, but stable for as long as each spouse is sufficiently benefited.
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February 13, 2015
When you have a new baby, everything in the world is wonderful. A long 10 months of hopeful anticipation culminates in you finally getting to hold your new little one as they snuggle up close to you and sleep. It's an amazing time and also an exhausting time. The joy of holding your warm baby is mixed with the terror that at any moment they could have a blowout and ruin your Hallmark moment.
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January 21, 2015
I love Benedict. I love the way he laughs uncontrollably as I hold his arms above his head and tickle his tummy with my nose. I love the way he gets excited when I snuggle up close to him and kiss all over his face. I love how much he enjoys being close to me and sitting in my lap. I love how he'll sit still anywhere if I'm rubbing his back or scratching his head. I love how when he's about to cry or is actively crying, he holds his arms up, hoping that I'll pick him up.
Read ArticleTags: Communication Parenting
January 13, 2015
Mass has become a bit of a struggle. For whatever reason, I didn't anticipate that Benedict would reach an age where he can't be entertained enough to be able to stay in Church for an entire Mass. For weeks now, Alison and I have had to take turns taking him to the back of Church and play with him there.
Read ArticleTags: Community Parenting
December 23, 2014
Kids today are operating under very tight time constraints. While the number of potential activities continues to rise, what’s also driving this boom in kid’s after-school activities is college applications. We’re told that colleges are looking for well-rounded applicants. That means that between homework, after-school activities, friends and family time, kids today are facing a real time crunch.
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December 15, 2014
There are many powerful acts of love and service. These acts force us into uncomfortable and inconvenient situations. However, it’s not usually the inconvenience that we recognize. The understanding that what we’re doing is important and helping someone else moves us beyond ourselves. This is never more clear than in helping to care for a sick child.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting
November 21, 2014
Our lives are full of priorities. Some things are simply more important than others. Making the right choices can drastically improve your quality of life.
Read ArticleTags: Community Generosity Parenting
October 30, 2014
The life of a family is one of seasons. There’s the season before a couple has children. There’s the season when they have young children. There’s the season when the children are becoming adults. Finally, there’s the season when the children are grown and are starting their own families. Each season has it’s joys and challenges. The key to living a successful family life is to cherish each season.
Read ArticleTags: Gratitude
October 27, 2014
Growing up in a military family, my dad was constantly deployed. He’d be gone for 3-6 months at a time, leaving my mom alone to wrangle us three kids. When we were living in South Korea, my parents came up with a brilliant idea. Each weekend, they’d reserve time to spend with us one-on-one. The kids would get to pick what we wanted to do. It was an excellent practice that provided for some great memories and experiences.
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October 24, 2014
Kids grow up too fast. As parents, we have the privilege of experiencing their daily growth. As a part of this experience, the days can quickly and easily meld into one another and huge developmental leaps can be quickly overlooked as others come along. It’s important for us, despite our busy lives, to remember something from our own childhood: it’s important to make time for playtime.
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October 07, 2014
There’s an ongoing debate in the Catholic Church about what should be done with children who make noises during Mass. To some, it’s a needless distraction when kids can be taken to the cry room. To others, it’s important for the kids to have Mass as a regular part of their lives. To those who think that kids making noise should be immediately removed from the Sanctuary, let me save you some time,
you’re wrong.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting Sacraments
October 06, 2014
I love my son. He’s 11 months now and really knows how to get around.
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September 15, 2014
Dear Benedict,
I wanted to write you this letter because it’s my responsibility to help you grow into the man that you were made to be. You were created with a very specific purpose in the course of Salvation History. Your mother and I are so privileged and honored to have you in our lives. You are a constant source of joy and fulfillment to me personally and to our marriage. You are truly the fruit of our love.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting Virtue
August 27, 2014
Words have power. Words have the ability to build someone up or strike someone down. They have the power to reveal someone’s innermost thoughts or heal a past hurt.
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August 26, 2014
The responsibility of parenthood lies not so much in the direct instruction of children, but more so in setting the right example.
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July 08, 2014
We live in a microwave culture. We want everything, now.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity Parenting
May 22, 2014
The Pope has many titles. Perhaps most intriguing is “Servant of the Servants of God."
Read ArticleTags: Community Generosity
May 13, 2014
I’m about to embark on a new adventure and I’m both scared and excited at the same time.
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May 12, 2014
We’re called to be selfless in this culture of selfishness.
Read ArticleTags: Generosity
May 07, 2014
It happens twice a year. Every Christmas and every Easter, without fail, our parishes are full of strangers. They fill our seats, they park in our spots, and some are even still using the old translation of the Mass.
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May 06, 2014
Does teaching your child about the mystery and gift of their human sexuality really have to be an awkward conversation? The “Birds and the Bees” is the standard parental sex education talk, but is a one-time drive really the best approach? The talk is weird, it’s awkward, and both of you just want to get it over with.
Read ArticleTags: Parenting Sexuality
May 01, 2014
Having kids makes life a little bit more challenging. It’s not without joy, but things just take a little longer. Gone are the days when you and your wife decide to hop in the car and go shopping. Trips take extra preparation, and they can be a challenge.
Read ArticleTags: Community
April 29, 2014
It’s truly sad how little we value children today. Modern couples are pressured and even praised for holding off on starting a family for any degree of time. Instead of being seen for the value that they truly have, and without accounting for the sheer joy of shepherding your own child, children are seen as a roadblock. We tell women that they can’t both be a mother and a valuable employee. We tell men that children will ruin all of your fun.
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January 13, 2014
We’re men. We’re hard charging. We’re all about getting stuff done. But how do you do that while not ignoring your family?
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December 03, 2013
My son is rapidly approaching the one month mark and the experience for me, as a father, has been something truly amazing.
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October 17, 2013
One of the strangest experiences I've ever had is seeing pictures of my parents when they were first married.
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August 26, 2013
Each year, the Church celebrates Natural Family Planning (NFP) Awareness Week. We should all take time to learn more about this ethical method of responsible Family Planning. I’d like to share some thoughts with you.Read ArticleTags: Parenting Sexuality
