Catholic Husband

Love / Lead / Serve

Live How You Ought to Live

We all have within us the power and ability to shape who we are. From the media that we consume, the choices that we make, and the actives that we participate in, everything that we do acts as a small puzzle piece, coming together as the picture of who we are. Physical activity, educational pursuits, and even hobbies can help us to reform our lives. One area that I want to particularly grow in is becoming the husband that I’ve always wanted to be.

There are generally two versions of ourselves. The one that we have in our mind, that we imagine ourselves to be, and the person we actually are. It’s important for use to learn from the version in our minds in order to inform the one who’s actually acting in the world.

At certain points in our lives, there is a transformation that occurs that is beyond understanding. We tap into energies previously unknown, love truly unconditionally, and service with our whole hearts. In these times, we are completely selfless and get to experience what life could truly be like, if we lived the way we ought to live. To be sure, it’s exhausting when compared to our typically selfish ways. Being selfish requires no effort, thinking, or energy at all.

Recently I got to truly experience what the “ideal me” looks like, and I loved every minute of it.

When Felicity was born, I was prepared to serve. I knew that Alison would be laid up for several days and it would be my responsibility to take charge of all aspects of our family life and medical care. Anything that Alison asked of me, I did, immediately. I anticipated her needs and responded to changing situations. For days I thought of nothing but her and my children. I would eat meals at odd hours, sleep on uncomfortable hospital furniture, and get up multiple times throughout night. Through it all, I was rarely tired and always compassionate.

Imagine if I were able to pull that off in my daily lived experience. Imagine if I were able to get my work and tasks done, while still being that responsive, empathic, and helpful. At the very least, my experience had proven that sainthood really is possible. It was the closest to heroic virtue that I’d ever come.

This really gets back to my point. The person in your mind, the person whom you really want to be, can be who you truly are. Through a process of discovery and understanding, you can articulate the characteristics that you would like to have and then implement them in your lives, one at a time. We spend too much of our lives daydreaming and bemoaning the fact that we aren’t healthier, holier, or happier. Instead of wasting your life dreaming, spend more of your life doing.