My son is rapidly approaching the one month mark and the experience for me, as a father, has been something truly amazing.
As I was preparing for his birth, many people gave me lots of advice. They’d joke about their days as new parents or even try to drop some helpful tips, such as “sleep when he sleeps.” What no one mentioned was how children truly strengthen your marriage and amplify the love you have for your spouse.
It’s truly sad that there is a strong undercurrent that pushes young people, and even young marriages, to avoid bringing a child into the world at all. Why would we rob ourselves of the joy of sharing our lives with our family?
We are selfish. We think that anytime we have to give something, we are going to be unhappy. We think that the reduction in disposable income, the loss of some sleep, and the loss of some freedom that a new baby causes is going to lessen the enjoyment we get out of life.
I haven’t found that to be the case.
My wife and I communicate even more now than we did before he arrived. Some of it is about him, but most of it is just about our life as a family. I will often look at him and be reminded physically of my intangible love for my wife.
Yes, there are things that are hard to deal with. The sound of crying isn’t the most pleasant, but it’s more like the alarm clock for love. When he makes that crying noise, he needs me. It’s my time to tend to his needs and thus, my time to love him.
I can also find ways to love my wife through him. For example, on Black Friday, I gave Alison the day off. She got to go shopping in peace without having to worry about his needs and I was able to take him with me to a museum. Had he not been here, we may have just spent the day apart with no real act of love rendered.
Plus, he’s just so dang cute.
Don’t believe the myth that you have to “childproof your marriage.” Change your paradigm and see your child as a new way to love your wife.