Catholic Husband

Love / Lead / Serve

Results May Vary

Don't wait to get married to have sex, do it now! If you get pregnant, it's not a baby until it is born. In fact, you've made a mistake! Great going.

Like me, you have probably received a lot of messaging about marriage before you were married. Despite all of these messages, I’ve noticed something strange.

Results may vary.

Message: Waiting for marriage is for losers. You should have sex before you graduate from High School. It is awesome. It is the best.

My results: I cannot imagine having sex with anyone but my spouse. Much like cohabitation, you cannot possibly recreate all of the circumstances without the marital bond. It is so life-giving. It is so fulfilling. The physical act is the vehicle for the emotional, mental, and spiritually transcendence. It is like the gateway to those deep connections.

In fact, I would make the argument that when you have sex before you are married, you rob yourself. You steal the chance to know what it really means to have the fullness of this experience. That is not to say if you made a mistake you are not redeemable. What it is to say is that there is a fullness of this reality that is  available to those who make the tough choices to wait.

Myth: If you get pregnant, you've done something wrong.

My results: At this writing (March), my child is just four weeks old. Do you know what a four week old baby looks like? A clump of cells. My child is no bigger than a poppy seed. Despite their small size, I love this child so much. This child is mine. My wife and I have already started rearranging our apartment to prepare for our little pea.

I love this kid. I can't wait to share my life with them. I recognize that this life is sacred. I recognize that even though they are so small, they are truly a human and they have a soul. It is beyond me that I am allowed, with my wife, to be a co-creator. It is beyond me that I am allowed to participate so actively in God's plan of creation. It is beyond me that I have given life.

You can see from just these two specific instances, we've been lied to. I am grateful that I did not buy into the lie. I am grateful that I chose discipline in my life. I am grateful that I have found the one I was designed to be with from the beginning of time, my wife. I am grateful that our first child, also designed from the beginning of time, will soon enter into my house.

When the torrents beat against you, remember the most popular disclaimer of all: Results may vary.