In the past, I’ve written about personal goal setting. What about helping your wife when she’s got a goal set for herself?

I know from experience that when Alison is supportive of my goals, I can usually get them done. The Transition would never have happened if Alison didn’t affirm me and help extensively with the editing. Instead of just having her on the sidelines of my goals, I’ve actively worked to involve her in them.

At the same time, she’s got goals that she wants to hit. In those circumstances, I want to be the support she needs to get to where she wants to go.

Much like you, your wife needs you as an accountability partner. Alison keeps me on task for writing content for the blog, and in that way she holds me accountable. We need to be firm, yet loving, and hold our wives accountable to their goals. That is, of course, only if you have her permission to do so.

Your wife wants your support. We know that goals without support are dreams. They’re never going to happen, and if they do, it takes tremendous work. In the same way that you want her on board and fired up about what you’re doing, be that fire for her.

Supporting her goals has it’s benefits. Achieving her goals will bring her satisfaction and happiness. A happier wife means that your marriage is going to be that much better. This isn’t all about you, but let’s not pretend like we don’t benefit from her success.

Here’s how you can be the best supporter possible:

• You’re a coach, not a nag. No one likes to be nagged. So be a firm coach who cuts through excuses, but understand that there’s a limit. Don’t cross the line, but don’t let her quit, either.
• Take on some of her chores so she can hit her goal. Time is the biggest component in goal setting. When we set a goal, we take on another task, but usually don’t let go of one. Find ways to adjust your schedule or routine to help her do what she needs to do. For example, I watch Benedict so Alison can go to the gym. It takes a small adjustment in my schedule and gives Alison the freedom that she needs.
• Don’t interfere. Much like Lent, it’s not nice to taunt your wife with something she is intentionally giving up. If your wife is on a diet, you’d better not be eating doughnuts around her. If she’s writing the next great American novel, don’t hog the computer. Be sensitive to her path and steer clear!

Supporting your wife is one of your primary duties as a husband.

Tags: Community