Catholic Husband

Love / Lead / Serve

Sleeping with A Friend

A few months ago, I wrote about how I’ve been trying to watch what types of media I consume. The premise is that you become the media that you consume. One of the popular songs today that I’ve been trying to avoid is “Sleeping with a Friend” by Neon Trees.

The premise of the song is that the subject is developing a strong sexual attraction for a close friend and is trying to resist the temptation. It’s a popular song, no doubt, but a strange premise. The lyrics suggest that the liaison is all but inevitable. It’s actually sad that the subject has such a narrow view of sexuality.

Sexual temptation is something that we all face. We have urges and tendencies that are meant to be used for the good. As with other things meant for good, they’re in danger of being corrupted. The problem with sexual sins in particular is that they reduce everyone involved from persons to objects.

We were made for greatness, for perfection. We were given our creative powers to use within the marital context to bring forth life. When we use our sexuality for anything else, we reduce our capacity for love. We reduce the other person’s dignity. They’re no longer a person worthy of respect and honor, they’re a means to an end. They’re a necessary accessory to our desires.

Sleeping with a friend outside of marriage leads to ruin.

The good news is two-fold. First, we’re never tested beyond what we’re capable of. Second, where temptation is, grace abounds all the more.

It’s not all bad, though. Sleeping with your best friend is amazing. Sleeping with your wife is a great thing because you’re both safe. You both completely surrender to each other, you give each other your whole selves, and in the process your love may create a new life. Sleeping with your wife doesn’t bring shame and regret. It brings harmony and strength of relationship.

We’re given far too many chances to reduce the greatness of our sexuality to the nothingness of imitation. Life’s not worth wasting your time on meaningless pursuits.