Catholic Husband

Love / Lead / Serve

Keeping Things Spicy

The institution of marriage is mind-blowing. Two people with two completely different personalities, with different family traditions, come together and promise, usually at a young age, to be faithful and loving to each other all the days of their lives. As an institution comprised of flawed human beings, it’s clear there is something supernatural within the sacrament of marriage.

Relationships are tough. We come into the world as blank slates. As children, we learn about relationships within a family and among friends. As young adults, we learn (and fail!) about romantic relationships. As married people, we learn what a permanent relationship requires.

When you’re young and you’re in a relationship, it can be hard to keep the thing afloat for a week. There are other prospects, you get bored, she’s no longer interested, you are both laking maturity. Yet, when we get married, we’re supposed to keep things spicy for a lifetime.


Marriage is a marathon. That’s for sure. Marathons are not won and lost in the physical preparations, though. Winning the race is all in the mental war. It’s not the lead runner versus the next runner, it’s whether or not the lead runner can overcome the mental battle that keeps trying to get him to quit.

So how do you keep your marriage spicy?

  • Keep the focus off of you. While it may seem like a good idea to make everything in the world about you, the truth is that you’re boring. Well, boring to yourself. You know basically everything about yourself. When you focus on your wife, you don’t get so bored. You’ve only known her for a fraction of the time that you’ve known you. There’s plenty to learn!
  • Don’t get distracted. It’s easy to be distracted by the beauty around you. Marriage doesn’t somehow change your natural attractions. There are many ways to deal with this issue, and it may take a few of them to do the trick. Just remember, you chose your wife for a reason. So, stick with it!
  • Celebrate each day. It’s a challenge to enjoy the newness of each day. Being alert enough to seek out the good in each day can really make a difference. Make each day special in it’s own way.

So keep things spicy, my friend.