If You're Keeping Score, You Lose
May 30, 2013
Filed In: Marriage
If you’re keeping score, you lose.
We are naturally competitive. It is natural for us to try to be better than everyone else, at everything. As men, we keep score a lot. Sometimes though, we take it to the point where it is damaging.
We keep track of everything we do. Household chores become a competition. “I emptied the dishwasher the last three times, what is my wife doing?”
You can’t keep track of who did what chores when because it is destructive. You will start to spend more time thinking about the last time your wife did a particular chore instead of focusing on the act of loving service you are rendering.
There should be some type of division of labor, some system that makes each of you accountable. But you shouldn’t turn a lack of completion into a weapon in your mind against your spouse.
Marriage isn’t about equality, it is about being complementary. You and your spouse have unique likes, dislikes, and talents. Try dividing up the household tasks by natural ability. Take a few that you don’t like to remind you of your love for your wife.
It’s easy after the wedding to slowly lose touch of what it feels like to “love.” By taking on some of those unpleasant tasks, you can experience that selfless love in a physical, tangible way.
Don’t keep score. It is a waste of your time.