Catholic Husband

Love, Lead, Serve

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Dating in the Married Life

The ordinary needs to be challenged. In the days of dating your wife, there was much newness in the air. You were getting to know each other, it was exciting, and the future was unknown. After your wedding day, things settled down. Many marriages fail with the couple citing that the flame died out, but that's a fallacy. Dating your spouse doesn't end on your wedding day. It doesn't end, period.

Dating in the married life is significantly more fruitful than dating while in the single life. In the single life, both individuals are guarded. They typically don't have shared goals, and the level of tolerance for a breakup is low. In the single life, there's only so far into emotional intimacy that the couple can go. Dating in the married life is a continual process by which the spouses delve deeper into the relationship. Dating in the married life allows a couple to continually grow closer, to share in the fruits, and to work together towards common goals.

The question, then, comes down to a matter of effort. Spouses must sacrifice for one another by doing the lowly and menial tasks. Cleaning the bathroom or doing the laundry, as an act of service and love, can be a part of spousal dating. Certainly going out can be a part of spousal dating. Eating at the dining room table, praying together, and writing love letters are all a part of spousal dating.

Good marriages take work and an investment of time. When you maintain focus on serving your wife more than you're being served, by sacrificing for her without expectation of return, and by seeking to know her better each day, you can both continue to share the fruits of marriage.