Catholic Husband

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Planning for A Better Marriage in 2015

A couple stands together outside on a winter day

A lifetime together is a journey of 1,000 miles. Each day, you take small steps forward and, some days, you simply make no progress. We all want to be better people, to live up to the idea of a person we have in our heads, but breaking free from our self-limitations can be extremely challenging, if not almost impossible to do.

We structure our time in minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years. In the minutes, hours, and days, it can be easy for us to lose perspective and let opportunities to improve our marriage pass us by. It's incredibly easy to begin to take our spouse for granted and slowly stop recognizing the true gift that she is. In these times, we need to be most aware that, as we close our eyes at night, the day that is ending can never be regained.

I've written many times about the importance of time and how it's the singularly most important resource that we have. Although minutes and hours are small units of time, they are the building blocks of our lives. They're where life happens. We need to take better advantage of them.

As 2014 draws rapidly to a close, you no doubt are pondering what you'd like to do differently next year. For some reason, we've collectively decided that it's only at the beginning of a New Year that we should amend our lives and course correct to a direction that we really want to go in. While I don't believe the New Year is the only time to do this, it's true that this major time trailhead does provide ample opportunity for a do-over.

While others spend their time planning out impossible fitness goals, career goals, or intellectual goals, I want to challenge you to do something incredibly radical. The relationship with your wife is the single most important relationship in your entire life. There should be no one on Earth that you're closer to. You and your wife share everything. There are no secrets, there’s no shame, there's only security. I want you to decide to invest very heavily in your marriage in 2015 and plan to have the best year yet!

So many times we can fall into victim thinking. When your wife isn't considerate of your feelings or does something that bothers you, it's so easy to slip into the blame game that's typical of our other relationships. The fact is, your marital relationship isn't like your other relationships. It's wholly different.

Instead of trying to make everything equatable, what if in 2015 you laid your life completely down for her, as you promised you would on your Wedding day? What if you yielded to her needs and made her feel honored the way that she should? What if you did everything you could to decrease yourself and your needs and increased hers? What if all of your actions pointed towards loving and serving her more deeply?

On December 10, 2015, if you did all of those things, how much stronger would your marriage be?

The married life is permanent and yours will likely endure until the day you die, which could be decades away. It's a daunting task to those who don't understand the beauty and richness that constancy and stability bring. The fact remains, the stronger your marriage bond is, the happier you and your wife will be. The more in sync you are with your wife, the more prosperous you both shall be.

Think about the areas in your marriage where you aren't living up to this standard. Think about the times and situations where you habitually fail to be the husband that you can be. Choose your 2 biggest areas of failure and, starting today, find ways to overcome those shortcomings. Set reminders for yourself to review your progress and as you overcome an area, add a new one.

We all have visions of perfection in our minds, visions of the husband we want to be. You can be that man, you can be that husband, if you're willing to do the work to overcome what years of relational hurts and failures has created.

You're a smarter man than you were on January 1st of this year. You have the potential to be the awesome husband that your wife deserves. Make it your goal to unlock that potential in 2015 and honor her the way that she deserves to be honored.