Small Changes Yield Big Results
January 07, 2015
Filed In: Marriage
So many things in our lives are fully within our control. We control our emotions, reactions, and how we treat people. Over time, it can become embarrassingly easy to stop recognizing the gift of your wife. You see her day after day and it becomes easier and easier to act with less kindness. If you don’t watch out, you may end up treating her more like a coworker than your life's partner.
The way that you treat your wife is completely up to you. It’s truly a choice, and one that you make daily. Lately, I’ve been making a renewed effort to treat Alison in a manner that’s consistent with my love for her. Love in my head isn’t worth anything, I have to put it into action. I’ve been contemplating the lives of the saints and trying to act in the manner that they would act. I’ve been amazed at the results.
It really doesn’t require that much extra effort to make Alison’s life better. It’s all about the small signs of love and the small acts of service that add up to a big difference. As the winter chill sets in at night, I’ve been warming up an old sock filled with rice in the microwave and putting it under the covers about half an hour before bed. That means that as she snuggles in for the night, she isn’t greeted by cold sheets but warm, radiating heat. It’s a small action, in fact, I didn’t even make the sock. She made it long ago. But that small action of warming it up and putting it under the covers is enough to make it that much easier for her to drift peacefully to sleep.
I also noticed that I was getting a little short with her. So, when things are starting to bug me, I raise my own awareness that I'm at risk for being snippy. I’m then able to not be snippy because I’m no longer giving emotional responses to things that upset me. Again, a small tweek with a big payoff. Plus, it has helped me to recognize that my obsessive tendencies towards cleanliness aren’t the easiest thing to live with.
The bottom line is that it’s hard to live out your wedding vows. It’s hard to love and cherish her every day if you don’t choose to be intentional about it. So, each day, make it a habit to recommit to loving and honoring her all the days of your life.