Communication. We all want lots of high quality communication, but it can be difficult to find. In a marriage, communication is essential.
While I’ve had quite a bit of experience in the business world meeting with and communicating with a wide variety of people, I’ve found that communicating with Alison requires more focus and attention to detail. It has nothing to do with Alison or anything that she does. Rather, it has more to do with the depth of our relationship.
In a business transaction, the communication is very linear. A business has a need, and I have a product that meets that need. Our communication is straightforward: can I deliver in a timeframe that’s agreeable and will they be able to pay.
In my marriage, the communication is dynamic. We communicate about basic, business-like transactions. But we also communicate hopes, fears, and dreams. Sometimes, our dreams or fears can be competing. That’s when we really have to dig in and figure everything out.
The first step to communicating better with your wife is to recognize the depth that is required in your relationship. This is unlike any other relationship you’ve had, so that means that you’ll want to go about things differently. The best thing you can do is to be flexible in your own communication style.
Find out from her how she likes to communicate, especially about difficult subjects. Is there a place or atmosphere that helps her to better work through a situation? Understanding her particular preferences can go a long way. Being flexible in your own style will help as well. I prefer to lay all of my cards out on the table, but Alison prefers to work through each issue individually. So while I’d prefer instant resolution, I understand that I need to slow things down, especially on a complex issues.
If you have questions about her style, then ask! Get as much clarity as you can because it will pay off big time.
Communication is the crux of your marriage. Do it poorly and you’ll have a rocky road, do it well, and there’s nothing that you can’t do together.