April 19, 2013
Filed In: Marriage
As men, we like to fix things. See a problem, fix a problem. We enjoy the challenge. We believe that we are good at it. The problem is, we apply this fix-it attitude to every situation. We don’t realize that what we want doesn’t always line up with what our wives want.
Women are different. Every problem has a solution. However, you are not the one designated for fixing those problems. Our wives will often come into our arms with a struggle or tears in their eyes. The first thing we do is go into fix-it mode. What is wrong? What do I need to do to make this right?
Our wives need a different kind of support from us. Sometimes, if you can believe it, they don’t want the problem fixed. They just want someone to listen. This goes against everything we are wired to do.
When your wife comes to you with a concern or a problem, you need to ask one simple question. Do you want me to fix it, listen, or just hold you?
It might be best to discuss what you wife prefers when everyone is calm. Then, when problems arise, resist the urge to fix. Simply ask the question and do as your wife asks.