There is one thing that you can count on in marriage: there will be problems. If both of you are the same, then one of you is unnecessary.
Many people view problems or conflict as a sign of failure. I don’t think that’s true. Problems are a direct result of each of you being unique individuals.
Problems aren’t a failure. They are an opportunity.
I use the word opportunity a lot in my posts. That is because marriage is full of opportunities.
We have the opportunity to love well or to cause injury. The reason I use the word is because I firmly believe that opportunity abounds in places that we don’t go looking for it. We are constantly given chances to improve our marriages, to strengthen our bonds, to go deeper in friendship. Opportunity just usually presents itself as pain.
You cannot avoid problems in your marriage. If they are not present on the surface, they are eating one of you deep inside. The best thing to do is to prepare yourself for them.
You can’t be ready for every contingency, but you can be prepared to see problems as opportunities.
Each problem is different. Each problem requires you to react and maneuver in a different way. Being ready for them to arrive can help your emotional response. Instead of reacting in disgust, anger, or fear, you can react with confidence, trust, and patience.
You have not failed because you have problems. In fact, I could make the argument that you have succeeded. No problems happen without action. Action brings results and consequences. Action brings problems.
What is the alternative to action? Stagnation. Your relationship is never tried, you don’t learn to work together, so your marriage is just bland. Who wants that?
Yes, there will be problems. Yet, through those problems, you can go deeper into your marital bond. Who in their right mind would pass up a chance like that?
