Uncrossing Your Signals
August 09, 2013
Filed In: Marriage
It has been my experience in former relationships that when communication breaks down, the end is near.
As social beings, we value quality communication. To prove my point, name the top three things your employer could improve.
Was one of them communication? Exactly.
Marriage is no different. But, in a marriage, you are dealing with two distinct types of communication.
I’m going to cover two levels of communication. I didn’t base these on any scientific study or related research. I name them Type 1 and Type 2 for the sake of understanding.
Type 1 is the information level. It is mostly superficial. What are we eating for dinner this week? Are you working late any nights? Who is picking the kids up from dance class/ soccer practice/Scouts?
Type 1 communication is top-level maintenance. It is the communication that is required to keep the wheels of the household turning. If you don’t have Type 1 communication, your marriage needs serious, professional help.
Type 2 communication is not found in every sentence or even every conversation. Type 2 communication is sharing feelings, emotions, and dreams. This type of communication is speaking from personhood to personhood. It is very deep.
Type 2 is also your opportunity for growth. It is your chance to discover new things about your spouse. It is your time to share with her how you’ve grown and matured.
If you do nothing other than Type 1 communication, then you and your wife are business partners. You share enough information to keep things moving, but not enough to forge a deeper bond.
If you do nothing other than Type 2 communication, then you and your wife will isolate yourselves from the world. And nothing will get accomplished!
Too much of anything is a bad thing. You must balance the practical Type 1 with the life-giving Type 2.