Earlier this month, Alison and I marked our ninth wedding anniversary. In years past, I’d take the opportunity to write a post sharing some new thing that I’d learned. As the date came and went this year, I struggled to write this post.

It’s clear to me that all new marriages endure a very strange first year. Things need to be worked out as the two worlds merge. There’s a bit of new conflict and some general awkwardness. Balancing the personal dynamics and expectations of two different families is a delicate dance that leads to friction.

As the years pass on, routines fall into place and life becomes easier. You move past the early stages in careers, children arrive, and the family puts down roots. Finally, your marriage starts to feel like a real, unique family with its own identity.

It took us nine years, and now I feel that we’ve reached that point. We’re in our home, with all the liberty and responsibility that ownership brings. We have an established brood of four, with our oldest able to accept household responsibilities on his own. Alison finished school, finished training, and is well established in her field.

The plans that we set nearly a decade ago and the hard work that it took to accomplish those plans is starting to show results. In a sense, we’re settling in to the life that we spent nine years building.

When I took control of my physical health two years ago, and finally achieved my goals, there was a transition period afterwards that I fumbled. It’s one thing to orient your life in the pursuit of a goal, and it’s quite another to order your life to maintain it. I knew all about the things that I needed to lose weight, but I knew nothing of how to maintain success once I’d reached it.

The hard work of laying the groundwork is complete. Now we get to enjoy the ride and take on the challenges that come with maintaining a plan.

Tags: Communication