Catholic Husband

Love / Lead / Serve

Marriage Is Not Committed Friendship

Marriage is a lot of things. It is painful, it is difficult, it is challenging. It is joyful, it is fulfilling, it is complete. Marriage is enduring, it is final.

Marriage is not committed friendship.

When a man and a woman, enter into the Marital Covenant, they are doing more than telling their friends that they kinda think they’ll be BFF. They are fully and completely giving themselves to their spouse. They are sacrificing their individual identities for a new identity.

The myth of today is that Marriage isn’t anything special, it is just committed friendship. A committed friendship that can be broken at any time for any reason. In the United States, our legal code calls that “no fault divorce.” Lazy. Immature.

Marriage is, of course, based on a relationship, on a friendship of sorts. However, calling Marriage a different kind of friendship cheapens it. It is an indissoluble bond. Nothing can ever break it. Not even changing your mind (sarcasm)!

Marriage is the bedrock of the family. The children find their safety, nourishment, and strength in the marital relationship. It is because of the marriage that they have this place of safety. Marriage frees a husband and wife to be themselves and to sacrifice for their family. It is a life-giving relationship.

Committed friendship can’t be life-giving. The reason is simple. In a friendship, no matter how committed or deep, at the end of the day, you are still an individual. You are still looking out for your best interests. In a Marriage, you guard the interests of your spouse and children. If your wife is happy, odds are you will be too!

Marriage is a mystery.

How a man and woman can be joined together, for life, is something that is beyond our human intellect. People change over time, personalities shift, and yet, marriages endure.

That is something worth thinking about.