Faith
The Church Sustains Us
The election of Pope Francis earlier this year was exciting. I was sad to see Pope Benedict retire, but there was a magnetism about Catholicism. All of the media and blogs were talking about the Church again.
While watching Pope Francis be introduced to the world and give his Apostolic Blessing, it hit me. We are so incredibly lucky to be a part of this Church. We are so lucky to have this Church that sustains us. Then again, luck has nothing to do with it.
Marriage is difficult because we are fighting on all fronts. We are fighting against our own selfish desires. We are fighting against the desires of the world. We are fighting to continually put our spouse before ourselves.
I believe that, as Catholics, we have the best chance of sustaining our marriages. Our chances are substantially better because we have the Church behind us. We are married through a Sacrament. Through that Sacrament, we seal a covenant.
We have access to all of the best resources. We have the Sacraments of Reconciliation and Eucharist to reconcile ourselves to God when we fail. We have the constant flow of graces from the Sacrament of Matrimony. We have access to the Treasury of Graces to sustain us.
As a married person, when we sin, we hurt three groups. We first hurt God, who loves us completely. We hurt the Body of Christ, the Christian Community, because we are a part of that community. We lastly hurt our spouse, as they are one with us. The results of our sin are far reaching.
Thankfully, we have the benefit of the Church to set things right. We are able to fix our fallen selves so that we can then fix our marriage. When we commit sin, we weaken charity. Through Reconciliation, we strengthen our charity and our marriage benefits.
We are part of something much bigger than ourselves. We are a part of this Universal Church that was put in place for our benefit. Christ knew that we’d need help. He knew that the Catholic Church was the perfect solution to our problems.
Take a moment today and reflect, thanking God that you are a part of His Church.
Keep Holy the Sabbath
We all hate Mondays. I get it. But, do we really have to?
For many years, I ignored God’s commandment to “Keep Holy the Sabbath.” The going to Church part wasn’t an issue. I always go to Mass on Sundays. Then, I’d come home and take a nap. I’d wake up, only to be saddened knowing that the freedom of Friday and joy of Saturday was quickly slipping away on a Sunday afternoon.
It wasn’t until I was in college that I finally grasped what this commandment was trying to help me do. One Sunday at lunch in the cafeteria, a friend was talking about how they try not to study on Sundays because they wanted to have a Holy Day. It struck me as revolutionary.
Every person SHOULD keep holy the Sabbath because it can help you have a better week.
Up until that point, I studied mostly on Sundays. I was always tired and crabby on Monday. The reason was simple. If God needed a day off every week, He was most likely telling me that I needed one too. I can’t say that I started performing better under this new structure, but I can say that I was happier.
When I graduated and moved out into the world, I kept this rule. When Friday afternoon rolled around, I removed any opportunity for me to read work emails at home or do any other work. Most of my chores happened on Saturday and Sunday was just a day to be.
I have found that when I get Sunday its proper place, I am much more energized for the week. I am excited to get back to work to do the things that will continue to fulfill me.
The problem is, you need good time management skills and discipline to make this happen. You need to have a plan to get your chores and work done so that Sunday is a fun day.
There is another reason why you should keep Holy the Sabbath. Your family needs you. Monday through Friday, you work most of your waking hours. Saturday and Sunday are your best opportunities to spend quality time with your loved ones. Don’t let work get in the way of that because you didn’t plan ahead.
It can be hard initially to put this idea into practice, but it pays dividends.
When to Go to Confession
Going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) is hard. It’s not that it’s inconvenient, it’s that it is uncomfortable.
The Sacrament isn’t optional though. It is absolutely vital to your success as a human person, as a Catholic, as a man, as a husband, and as a father. The graces in the Sacrament will do more in helping you fill your vocational role than almost any other single activity.
Sometimes it can be hard to determine if you need to go to Confession. Here are a few ways that I can tell if I need to go to confession.
• It has been more than four weeks
• I am in a state of mortal sin
• I am afraid to go
• I am afraid that the priest will recognize you
• I am afraid that your penance will be public
• I don’t like going to Confession
Most of those circumstances involve a fear of some sort. That is a problem in two ways. First, it is a symptom of pride. We are a proud gender, us men. It can be our fatal flaw. Don’t let your pride get in the way of growing in your faith.
Second, most of those excuses are simply the words of the devil. By your going to Confession, you gain graces and tools to fight temptation and do better in your faith walk. So, if Satan can get you to avoid the Sacrament, he has better odds of enslaving you.
I’m sorry to be the first to tell you that your sins aren’t that interesting to the Priest. He has heard them all, and worse, before.
That’s not to say that they are unimportant. They are what is holding you back from being the best possible person you can. It is to say that being concerned with your sins is not a valid excuse to avoid the sacrament.
You have a choice. You can be Judas: sin, feel regret, and then die. Or you can be Peter: sin, feel regret, repent and live!
Don’t be a dummy.
It’s Time to be Men
There is a growing chorus among young ladies today. They are recognizing a trend in our society. We have a society full of boys. Women don’t want to marry a boy; they want to marry a man.
What is the difference between a boy and a man? There aren’t enough words in the world to make all of the distinctions. I’ll cover a few key ones here.
Women don’t want a little boy who cares more about his toys than about his wife. Women don’t want a little boy who would rather play with his friends than spend an evening in with his wife. Women don’t want a little boy that they have to clean up after, they want a man who takes responsibility.
Women don’t want a little boy that they can’t rely on emotionally, they want a rock to lean on. Women don’t want a little boy that doesn’t listen, they want a man who shows empathy. Women don’t want a little boy that ignores the importance of religion, they want a man with the faith of St. Joseph.
Women don’t want a little boy that sits at home all day, they want a man who contributes to the family. Women don’t want a little boy that they can’t have a conversation with, they want a man who speaks intelligently.
Men, we’ve been beaten down. They’ve tried to put us in the corner. They’re wrong.
It is time for us to lead our families with the heart of a servant. It is time for us to take our role seriously. It is time for us to love our children by loving our wives well. It is time we give less time to the TV and spend more time listening to our wives.
We need to make dinner time family time. We need to leave our work at work and focus on being husbands and fathers at home. We need to give our families the gift of ourselves.
It won’t be easy to turn the corner. Boys don’t become men overnight. But we need to turn this corner fast. Our wives need us. Our families need us.
It’s time to be men.
Temptation
Lent is a great season. I used to hate it. It was dark and boring. A few years ago, I finally unlocked the key to the season. It came from a deeper understanding of what it takes for God to love us who hurt Him so much, so often.
The Gospel reading from the first Sunday of Lent is especially potent. The temptation of Jesus. I became especially fascinated with the passage this year. For me, it really concretized that Jesus was fully man. I understood and believed that He is fully God and fully Man, but I somehow had the notion that since He was perfect, it was easy. It wasn’t.
Jesus braved one-on-one combat with Satan. He went toe-to-toe and could have avoided all of the pain and suffering that I caused Him. He could have side-stepped the whole torture episode. Even though He is perfect and knows the Father’s mind, He still had a choice.
He could see clearly through the lie. I thought, “That must have made the decision easy for Him. If only I had that luxury.” Problem. We often times have the luxury. When we decide to work on a particular failing, we typically take it to the Priest in Confession. In that moment, we have the clarity of mind to see through the lie. We can see the falseness of the lie. Yet, when we get in the moment, we conveniently ignore what we know to be true and then are shocked at the consequences.
We know objectively that we shouldn’t cheat on our taxes. We know objectively that we shouldn’t cheat on our spouse. We know objectively that it is wrong to steal. Yet, in the moment of temptation, we can easily forget.
In the priest’s homily that Sunday, he said something that really hit me. “Temptation is morally neutral.” The temptation is not a sin on our part. It is a part of our nature. Engaging, entertaining, & acting on the temptation is where we get into trouble.
This is an important point because you will be tempted. It is how you respond to that temptation that defines who you are as a person. It is how you respond to that temptation that defines your marriage.
The biggest take away is that we will all fail, in some regards. Hopefully it is not a major fall. But admitting that you will fall will help you gain perspective. You can take the loss on the battle if it gets you to win the war.
Phone Home Daily
We live busy, hectic lives. When you first get married, you both might be young professionals. Both of you are working hard on your careers. It is a great phase of life to be in.
As with any stage of life, it has its own threats. The greatest of these is time poverty. There simply isn’t enough time to do all of the things that you must. You end up having to make tough choices.
I would challenge you to start looking at your time and activities differently. Think of yourself as investing time. You invest time in your marriage by spending time with your wife. You invest time in entertainment watching a movie. You invest time in your health by exercising.
When you start to view time as an investment, you make different choices. When you view time as a commodity, as a resource, you tend to not spend it so loosely. You begin to make different choices. Even the saints viewed time in this way.
St. Isidore the Farmer is one of those saints. He lived at the end of the 1000s in Spain. St. Isidore knew the importance of investing time in his faith. Every morning, even during the harvest time, he went to Mass. One might think his time might have been better invested in his work. Miraculously, while he was at Mass, Angels were seen plowing his fields.
St. Isidore made a sound investment of his time, and he was richly rewarded.
Having a daily routine of prayer can help us to remain grounded. It can increase our charity and decrease our sin. It can lead to more peace and comfort in our lives. It can help us to be better men. It can make us better workers.
Adding prayer to your daily routine isn’t too difficult. You should first decide on what your goals are. Then, you need to make a plan. Like working out, too much too fast can be discouraging. Be reasonable. Make this a transition that is natural and gradual.
What are some easy ways to add daily prayer in your routine?
• Rosary on your daily commute
• Commute too short? How about a Divine Mercy Chaplet
• Get up 15 minutes early and pray Morning Prayer
• Take 10 minutes of your lunch break for some meditation
• Wind down just before bed with some spiritual reading
It has never been easier to pray! With all of the apps for your phone and tablet, you can find some Catholic apps to assist you. Even the Bible can fit on your device! Take advantage of these technologies.
It is easy to include prayer in your life, you just need discipline. Make this small investment of time and reap the dividends it pays!
Traveling Mass
I travel a fair amount for work. Perhaps you are like me. One of my favorite unofficial games is “Find the Catholic Church.” If you want to get an idea for the universality of the Church, notice how you can’t go far in any direction without running into one.
One of the really cool things about Catholicism is that we are Universal. The Mass in New York is the same as the Mass in Los Angeles. The Mass in Los Angeles is the same as the Mass in London.
I had that opportunity in Pennsylvania while my wife took a test. It was a foggy Monday morning and I was tired. I had my plans set to go back to the hotel and go to sleep. After all, I had just completed a grueling 12 hour travel day.
We drove to the test site and I dropped her off. I pulled out of the parking lot, looked to the left, and there was a Catholic Church. I was starting to turn right and immediately cut back left. It was 7:15am. Morning Mass?
I parked and went in. Yes, Mass at 8:00am. I grabbed my rosary and picked a pew. For 35 minutes it was just the Priest and I. We sat there, praying.
The Church was beautiful. Although it was only built 60 years ago, it was an ornately decorated ethnic (I believe Polish) Parish. It was so quiet, so serene.
By the time that Mass had started, the attendance had swelled to 7. I was by far the youngest person there. I was also sitting closest to the front. It was essentially a test to figure out how well I knew the new translation.
There was something very special about that Mass. First, of course, I felt cared for as a traveler. Cared for in that I felt that I had a home so far from my own.
The intimate setting was unlike anything I have ever experienced. It was like my Wedding Mass. I was in the front, it was as if it was just the Priest and I.
There is a depth of prayer that comes from that setting. There is a feeling that, through the ministry of the Church, the Church is truly there to serve the individual, as well as the community.
I was grateful to make one of the two daily Masses that happen during the week at this Parish. I was grateful to have the opportunity to intercede for my wife while she took an exam no more than 300 yards away. I was grateful to the Archdiocese of Philadelphia for taking care of a traveling pilgrim.
Rejoice
The day of my wedding will live forever in my memory. It was a magnificent day. I can so vividly replay all of the scenes, all of the emotions, all of the senses. It was a day of joy.
Today, Easter Monday, we celebrate that same level of joy. We are not slaves. We are not doomed to die. We are destined to live forever. We are like prison inmates on the day of our release.
As we celebrate, we must harness this joy. We must let this joy lead us on the path of truth. We must also acknowledge that we will soon be challenged.
At any time in our lives that we resolve to change our lives for the better, there is joy. We must, at the same time, prepare ourselves for the test that is coming. Our resolve will be challenged.
Today, let us rejoice in our identity and lives as married men. Let us praise God for the gift of Marriage in His Divine Plan! Let us resolve to live as men in the light.
The Ultimate Sacrifice
Today is Good Friday.
My thought for today is very simple. Christ died because of what I have done. His passion was because I chose to not love Him fully. He suffered because I am selfish.
Christ died for the Church. He gave His own life in exchange for the life of His Bride. He is a model for us as husbands.
We are called to lay down our lives for our brides. We are called to sacrifice for them.
On a large scale, it is easy to grasp this concept. On a smaller level, it is much more difficult. It is hard to remember when we are in a situation where our wife has done something that annoys us.
Today, let us acknowledge where we have failed as husbands, where we have failed as men. Today, let us look to the cross and see the example of who we are to be. Today, let us love our wives better than we did yesterday.
The Secret to Getting Up After You Fall
We all have a very deadly disease. It is a disease whose effects are felt throughout society. The symptoms are everywhere. We are infected with deadly pride.
Pride causes our marital fights to drag on for days, or even weeks. Pride hurts those whom we love most. Pride even hurts ourselves. We make prideful decisions and then have to reap the consequences.
As Catholics, we have been given a great gift by the Church to be cured. It is called Confession. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is perhaps the most underutilized Sacrament in the Church. Catholics just don’t take advantage.
Maybe it is because we are afraid that the Priest will know who we are. Maybe we are ashamed to say out loud what we have done. Maybe we haven’t been in so long, we wouldn’t know what to say. Maybe we don’t think we can be forgiven. PRIDE!
Confession is such a powerful tool because it cares for us spiritually and psychologically. We are able to take off the burden of our mistakes. We are able to confront our failings out loud. Sometimes even just calling our sins by name is enough to get us to change.
Maybe we just need to change our paradigm. Perhaps if we changed the name from “Confession” to “Free Counseling,” more Catholics would engage the Sacrament. That is, of course, a ridiculous proposition, but it is true. There is an added benefit to calling your sins what they are in the Sacrament. You then get advice directly from Christ, through the person of the Priest. Free counseling.
To further sweeten the deal, the Priest can never tell anyone what you said. Ever. Even still, it is unlikely that they would even remember what you said. Have you seen how much priests do these days? I’m sorry to hurt your pride, but your sins probably weren’t even that interesting. They’ve heard it all before.
I bring up this subject of Confession because I believe that it is vital to your marriage. When you are open to the Sacrament, when you engage fully, you can de-stress. You can stop bringing the stresses of your failings into your marriage. The Sacrament can even help you stop sinning within your marital relationship.
How often should you go to Confession? The Church has two rules. You must go at least once a year during Lent. You must also go after committing a mortal sin before receiving Communion. That is the minimum. Those two rules will help you to be average.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be average. I didn’t get married to have an average marriage. I don’t enter into any relationship hoping that it will be average. I want to be awesome. I want to have an awesome marriage. I want to have awesome relationships. If you want to be awesome, once a month will do it. Going for baller status? Weekly.
Confession is vital to your success in marriage. Through the process, you begin to renew yourself. You begin to grow closer to God and, through that closeness, you become a better husband. Grab your bulletin and head to Confession this week!