I underestimated how impactful parenting would be on my spiritual life. I’ve found that nothing has better helped me to understand the mind of God than helping to shepherd Benedict’s heart. We spend a lot of time in our Church community talking about Jesus, and not as much trying to know God the Father or God the Holy Spirit. Parenting is helping me to cover that lost ground.

Benedict has three hours of quiet time each afternoon. I’d prefer it if he would use the time for napping, and oftentimes he does. When he naps, the evening goes well. Each day is very different. Some days he’ll sleep straight through, others he’ll just run around or have creative play with his stuffed animals. He can be bored during those hours, and when he is, he starts playing with things that aren’t toys. His most recent fixation is the hamper in his room that we use for dirty clothes. He’ll pull the clothes out and put the hamper on his bed. At various times he’s told me that it’s a tunnel, a restaurant, and a TV. I love his creative mind, but not that he’s playing with his dirty clothes.

During my numerous attempts to get Benedict to stop playing with his hamper, I realized that the shoe was on the other foot. How many times has God tried to persuade me to stop doing something and to instead focus on something much better? How many times has my conscience warned me to not do something, only for me to decide against it? I was becoming frustrated that Benedict wasn’t learning, questioning whether my tone was appropriate, and all the while, God must have been smiling.

The shoe being on the other foot can be a humbling experience. Despite my life experience, I’m still failing on the same level as my toddler. Even though I have a vast knowledge of right and wrong, I still choose the wrong too easily. This is the quandary of the Christian life. We reject the knowledge of good and evil that we posses in order to pursue our own agenda, and God relentlessly pursues us.

I’m eager to learn many more spiritual lessons from Benedict and his sister as they grow and mature, and I’m prepared to be humbled by them. Parenting is a great adventure, and while the sacrifice is total, the rewards are innumerable.