Forgetting to Shift
Life, and parenting, is full of shifts. From infants to teenagers, our children progress at a rapid clip. But it’s easy to find ourselves answering today’s challenges with yesterday’s solutions. Our children are always adapting to their changing worlds, but for adults, we can forget.
I find myself with a house of able bodied children, but I’m still doing the chores that I’ve done since I started staying home. Layer on top of these chores homeschooling and my full time job, and it’s an impossible solution. Time is always pivoting to one of these three areas of responsibility and something gets left behind. Another pivot is then required, depriving some other area of attention. On it goes.
What I need is to not only break my paradigms; I need to destroy them. I need to completely rethinking, from the ground up, our daily routines, division of labor, and calendars. My children need different things today than they did yesterday, and we need to commit ourselves to working not just on our chores, but our relationships.
Life is constantly changing, and if we forget to shift, we end up in the wrong gear. I have a big reminder on the horizon to shift, and perhaps this is your reminder, too.
Small Moments
When we aspire to greater things, we tend to fall into the trap of making big plans. I’ve never run a marathon, and frankly never run. So if I decided to run a marathon next summer, it’d be easy to get lost in the planning.
I’d need better shoes, a new watch, the right clothes, the perfect hydration system, an eating plan down to the calorie, and, of course, a daily training plan with tracker. Those things would help me, in theory, go from couch to marathon. But would I do it?
What if instead of dedicating hours to research, hundreds of dollars to new equipment, days to calendaring out the next year of my life, I just grabbed my shoes and went for a run?
This is how we approach prayer. We try to go from fresh out of the Confessional to saint in one big leap. But we don’t need history’s best prayer plan, or the most ingenious sequencing of novenas. You just need to find small moments throughout your day, times when there’s a natural pause, and instead of swiping mindlessly, pray mindfully.
Dig Deeper
It’s easy to wait for whatever’s next. Let this moment pass by, it’s nothing compared to what’s coming next. Life starts to feel like the Sims, where we check off a few things, kill time until bed, then wake up to do it over again. It’s easy to slip into this mindset because thinking about everything we have to do today, and tomorrow, and the next day, is paralyzing. Sinking into the couch and scrolling is cathartic escapism that soothes us in the now, but robs us blind.
I tend to think of my list in terms of energy. I wake up in the morning with x units of energy; how will I spend them? And when they’re spent, is it gone for the day?
Energy can be used up, in the way that you crash onto the couch at 8:30pm, the house immaculate, the to-do list done, and a good steady ache radiating through my muscles. It can also be stolen. It’s stolen when the first thing I do when I wake up is swipe through my phone. It’s stolen, really, any time I scroll. A rectangular brick in my pocket follows me everywhere I go, trying to lull me to relax when really it just steals my energy.
The funny thing is, when I conserve my energy, the mess piles up. Work, school clutter, all of which can only be conquered through focused, extended work sessions. If I do like I ought, a little each day, the system runs.
Rest is never earned; God rested on the seventh day. But on days 1-6, He dug deeper and got it all done.
The Plans
For I know well the plans I have in mind for you —oracle of the LORD— plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.
Cloak
In the Bible and Sacred Tradition, there are certain items to which we ascribe special meaning. God has a way of using ordinary things to bring into reality the extraordinary. One such item is the cloak of St. Joseph.
Back in the early days of Jesus’ life, Joseph had to spirit his young family through the desert into Egypt. Tradition holds that it was done at night as Herod hunted down the newborn King. Joseph, like any Jewish man of his time in history, likely wore a cloak to protect himself from the elements. It’s easy to image that cloak shielding his bride and child on their journey. From this understanding, we now believe the cloak of St. Joseph to have special protective properties.
In prayers to St. Joseph, both modern and ancient, the petitioner asks for the protection of Joseph’s cloak. It shielded Jesus from murderous jealousy, and the prayers beg Joseph to wrap us up in this same cloak.
We imagine grandeur in every action of God, and they are. But in His majesty, God chooses the simple. A piece of humble cloth, wrapped around us, is all that’s needed to protect us from the gravest danger.
Hints of Fall
The dog days of summer are in the rearview mirror as pumpkin spice season is just around the corner. It was another long, hot summer and I’m so ready for the first blast of cool Canadian air.
The green shoots of spring inspire me every year. Subconsciously, I reorganize, plan, and start thinking strategically again. I find myself getting outside of the day-to-day and making a game plan for the season ahead. The crisp fall air and cozy gray skies have the same effect on me.
As I perceive the first hints of fall, my mind gets back into that higher level thinking. It’s natures way of reminding me of the coming winter, and how quickly my life is progressing. The best time to live my best life was last summer; the next best time is starting today.
Drift
Winding down the mind at night is seldom easy. Our racing minds make lists, rehash events of the day, or bother us with endless ideas and anxieties that we could never possibly address in these moments before sleep. Worst of all is the knowledge of how good sleep is for our tired bodies, and our inability to trigger this blissful release.
Mindfulness and meditation is in vogue now, but the Church has always known its myriad benefits. In our hearts is inscribed the desire to love God, to elevate our minds to serve others, and to be connected to our larger human family. Prayer, and its simple repetition, eases the mind and invites peace to calm our chaotic lives.
St. Paul advises prayer without ceasing, and what better way to drift off to sleep than to spend the day’s final moments of consciousness with the God who made us and the saints who so deeply loved Him.
Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence
My favorite Church song is a bit haunting. Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence, like much of our liturgical life, is based on a line from the Book of Habakkuk. Its melody is dark, heavy, and somewhat ominous. It’s without a doubt a song about the return of Christ, a moment in history that will be unrivaled in absolute drama.
The lyrics paint a picture of a great battle, the host of heaven pouring into earth, “rank on rank.” It evokes images of the great medieval battles where combat was hand-to-hand, and massive armies clashed in open fields. Light and goodness pouring forth, finally vanquishing all evil in one last fell swoop.
With victory in hand, the angels turn in veneration at God’s arrival, the end of time now at hand, and all things made new.
Reading the lyrics, there’s reason for fear to stir up in our hearts. It contemplates the reality of the unbridled power of God, unleashed in torrents on His enemies. The truth of His reign acknowledged by all as the forces of evil are vaporized.
It’s for that reason that I love this song. It’s easy to think that the end of the world that Jesus promised is some far off date, and unlikely to happen in our lifetimes. With so much to focus on here, now, today, not taking a moment to pause to comprehend the magnitude of this event is easy. The song brilliantly reminds us of the virtue of fear of the Lord. We will experience this great last battle, and if we are on the right side, it will be a time of complete joy.
We shuffle through life mostly asleep; this is one song that wakes you up. The struggle is real, and the effort is worth it. One day, Truth will arrive, and all of our suffering will be vindicated.
Contagious
Late last week, my neighbor across the street was out attempting to finish mowing his lawn. It was hot, he was no doubt tired and just wanting to be done. As he worked on edging the front sidewalk, his toddler waddled over, pacifier in mouth, and gleefully observed his dad at work.
Children hit growth milestones without any fanfare. It’s only in hindsight that we realize, sometimes months later, that a previous behavior associated with infants, has been cast off for more mature behavior. My children do occasionally gleefully observe me in my element, but not with the same toddler-like sense of awe.
Children are inherently joyful, and their ability to be present in the moment and appreciate it for what it is is one of their greatest assets. Their happiness is contagious. Adults deal with serious and weighty things, but when you adapt the worldview of a child, the simple pleasures of live become visible once again.
Magnet
Summer continues, and my children still blissfully spend their days with ended self-directed activity. Audiobooks, creative play, play-dough, they have not a care in the world. For me, my work continues.
There’s a certain magnetism in children that I find amusing. When I’m at my desk, the children congregate. When I go down to the kitchen to get a drink of water, one discovers me, and the rest follow. No matter where I go, they curiously pursue me.
Sometimes they have an ask, something that they want. Other times, they literally follow me to the other room with their activity and establish a new base of operations.
In the times when I’m trying to find peace or get deep work done, it’s less than convenient. At most other times, it’s an endearing quirk of the human experience.