Faith
Twenty Twenty Focus
The constant rushing of life can feel crushing. Like the overwhelming power of a waterfall, events and information come at me in a daily deluge. There’s so much to do, a set amount of time, and my energy levels are not always aligned to my workload. Last year, I began paying closer attention to the things to which I was giving my attention.
In the process of developing my sense of self-awareness, I recognized the peace that comes with meditation and prayer. Sitting still for even just 10 minutes at a time is a strange feeling. It’s an activity in which there’s nothing to do and no new information being presented to my brain. Distractions and thoughts percolate, but when I’m meditating, I have permission to not act.
Choosing to not act is a difficult one, especially when an idea presents itself. I’ll be meditating and wonder what the weather will be like tomorrow or I’ll remember some task left undone. Instinctively, I reach for my phone to check the weather or record the task. Through a decade of smartphone use, I’ve destabilized myself to the point where even in these brief periods of time that I’ve set aside for no distraction, I feel pulled to action.
When I have a migraine, the best thing that I can do for myself is to make a delicious meal. But when I have a migraine, the last thing that I want to do is spend the time and energy to prepare a delicious meal. The same is true for taking time for meditation. The days when I need it the most are the days that I feel the greatest resistance.
Meditation is popular right now, but meditation isn’t a life hack. Its purpose is connection, not creation. It’s communication, not consumption. Meditation is time set apart for personal, intimate conversation with God. Meditation is me taking God up on his multiple promises to give me rest.
My focus for 2020 is perfecting my fundamentals. Instead of focusing on achieving something new, I’m going to work on consistently doing those daily activities that cause me to live a more fulfilling life. Daily meditation is as fundamental as it gets.
The Joy of the Season
In the blink of an eye, the end of 2019 is just over a week away and we’re at the threshold of the Christmas season. What better way to crown the year than with the joy of Christmas. The joy is so complete that a single 24-hour time period cannot contain it. We’ve spent four weeks in hopeful anticipation and will celebrate the feast for nineteen days.
I hope that your Christmas season is filled with joy, and that Christ will be welcomed into your heart and home. Merry Christmas!
Poverty
I had a dream a few months ago that my family and I were refugees. My dream was vivid. We arrived in a camp with only the clothes on our backs. We were lodged in a plywood dorm, sparsely decorated, and filled with rough characters. Wildfires burned in the vicinity, adding peril to our already difficult journey. We’ve become desensitized over the past decade to the plight of migrants.
What really struck me in that dream was the desperation of our situation. We went from a safe, stable, predictable life to one in which I couldn’t even guarantee the safety of my family. We had literally nothing.
The mass migration from Africa and the Middle East continues. Central Americans continue to journey north in search of peace and security. To many of us, the issue is academic; it’s a question of policy. To these people, the journey is fraught with danger.
As we approach Advent and Christmas, my thoughts have turned to the Holy Family. They were Jewish refugees, fleeing from violence and danger at home, to live abroad in Egypt. Their journey was like that of the modern migrant.
I take the comforts of my life for granted. When we need food or supplies, I simply go to Walmart and get what we need. The shelves are full of items, and our pantry never runs empty. My children don’t wonder when their next meal will be served. There are far too many people, even in developed countries, who don’t share in that comfort.
Advent, like Lent, is a season of penance and almsgiving. Donating to a food pantry, or making a financial contribution to a charity working with migrants and the displaced, makes a difference. We have the power to ease the suffering of our neighbors.
On Retreat
I made my first private retreat in twelve years last weekend. I left all of my electronics at home, and after dinner on Friday night, drove off into the darkness to the retreat center. I had no responsibilities, no commitments on my time, and for the most part, no clock. Even better, I was the only person on retreat on the grounds for the weekend. The peace and rejuvenation that solitude brought me is exactly what I needed.
I, like you, spend most of my days plugged in. I have dozens of commitments to attend to, responsibilities to fulfill, and appointments on my calendar. Even the demands of maintaining basic order in my household take a lot out of me. Taking time to focus on myself, and building up my interior life, is essential to my wellbeing. It’s also a recipe for a more successful fatherhood.
There were several times over the weekend when I felt an impulse to reach for my devices. Feeling that physical reaction, I came to better understand my relationship with them. It gave me the opportunity to pause and understand why I was feeling that way. The freedom to be alone with my thoughts was the best part of my weekend.
It was a wonderful weekend, and I got out of it exactly what I had hoped. I feel rested, relaxed, and ready to take on the daily challenges I have as a stay-at-home dad. I’ll just be sure to not wait another twelve years before making my next retreat.
Spiritual Health
Spirituality is an integral part of what it means to be a human person. Ignore your physical health, and your emotional wellbeing suffers. Ignore your intellectual health, and your relationships will suffer. Your spirituality is no different. Each component of your personhood needs individualized attention. They all work in concert with one another to form the human person.
It should be emphasized that faith is indeed a gift. Our human hearts, like a radio receiver, are attuned to the voice of God in our lives. Our hearts yearn to follow the law that He inscribed on them. At the same time, our hearts can be turned off, or turned to a different station. Understanding and accepting faith is a challenge for each one of us. It’s a lifetime struggle with seasons of abundance and desolation. It’s a gift worth giving, and one that must be willingly accepted.
The first order of business in your personal faith journey is an evaluation of your interior life. The prolific author Matthew Kelly writes that where your mind goes, your actions will follow. Digital devices drown out our personal thoughts. We reach for them to fill every down moment of the day. Tremendous virtue, growth, and self-reflection can come from limiting their presence in your life.
When you have time for your mind to work and think, it’s best to let it roam where it wishes. This stream of consciousness will inevitably lead you to ponder life’s big questions. The true nature and concerns of your heart will bubble to the surface. These insights will inform your prayer life.
Prayer is another area where I would encourage you to discount any preconceived notions. In my own experience, a solid and reliable prayer life requires variety. If you were to set out to exercise every day, but only allowed yourself to run on a treadmill for an hour with no media, how long would it take before you quit? If you were given a diet that had you eating the same breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday, how long would you last? If you were assigned a particular devotional as your primary form of prayer, how long would it be before you gave up your faith altogether?
Variety is the spice of life, and so it should be with your spiritual life. Experiment by going to different parishes and Masses, try new devotionals, join a Bible study, or do your own with the Catholic Study Bible. Take an hour to go to Eucharistic Adoration or pray the Rosary while you go for a walk in your neighborhood. By changing your prayer routine often, you’ll experience the breadth of the Church and the serenity that a close relationship with God brings.
Little Kids Praying
Praying with little kids is often a difficult experience. While I try to set a good example, my kids often fiddle, wander, or play. As it turns out, they’re not being disrespectful. When little kids fiddle, they’re really engaged in the activity. It’s how they listen, process, and understand things. They may not say the words, but they hear and know them. It can be frustrating when they refuse to pray, but giving them their space has its benefits. One day, the switch will flip, and it’s a beautiful thing.
That’s exactly what happened to us. My son is in kindergarten and should be learning his basic prayers. He’s heard them hundreds of times and I was more than ready for him to be a leader for his sisters. I took him aside one evening and told him that I now had the expectation that he prays aloud with us. He took our talk to heart. The next day, I could hear him quite clearly. His little sister soon joined in.
There’s something wonderful about the sound of a child praying. Their voice is so sweet to adult ears. Their intentions and prayers are so innocent and pure. When I hear my children praying, I understand clearly why God treasures these little ones so much.
It’s been several months now, and both of my “big kids” pray out loud at meals, at bedtime, and on occasion, at Mass. Benedict will even take the lead at mealtime, which is a treat. What’s really struck me, though, is how many of the more complex prayers they know. We’ll be at Mass or praying Night Prayer, and they’ll both join in without skipping a beat. Like a choir singing in harmony, we pray together as a family. It’s a delightful experience.
I don’t know what my children’s faith life will be like when they enter adulthood. What I do know is that I’m going to expose them to as much of our faith as possible. I hope that one day they have the experience of having their own children join them in prayer. It’s an experience that I’ll treasure forever.
Lent Lost
We’ve moved beyond the season of Lent and into the joy of Easter. About this time each year, I reflect on how successful Lent was, comparing my plans on Ash Wednesday to how I crossed the finish line on Holy Thursday. I realize now that this exercise is pointless.
Like the change oil light on my dashboard, Lent is an annual reminder for me to reflect on how well I’m living my life versus the life that I want to live. I find it incredibly easy to lay out the perfect plan for my life and the goals that I want to achieve, but if I don’t get out of bed when my alarm goes off, I’m never going to achieve that vision.
I used to think of Lent as my one chance a year to make those changes, but just like New Years, that’s a false assumption. The Christian life is supposed to be one of constant renewal, daily challenging ourselves to do better and be better.
I pretty much missed the boat on Lent this year. Between kids, new schedules, and travel, I can’t tell what I accomplished, or even attempted, during Lent. But the opportunity to start fresh is open to me even today. Through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, through the multitude of devotionals for daily prayer, or even by starting to see the service of raising my children and maintaining our household as a distinctly holy and noble task.
Goal setting is tough, and discouragement is a lot easier to find than encouragement. So if you have that feeling that Lent wasn’t all that impactful, perhaps you can turn that around by starting today on improving your life. Lent was just the reminder light coming on your dashboard.
The Gift of Faith
A few weeks ago, I attended a men’s prayer breakfast at my parish. The speaker gave a short talk on the importance of praying as a family. One of the most challenging roles as a parent is not preparing your children to go out into the world on their own, but rather giving them the gift of faith.
Our core societal sickness is based on a lack of spirituality. Faith, increasingly treated with suspicion, meets a core need of the human person. Thinking that one can be truly healthy without a vibrant faith life is like thinking one can have their nutritional needs met through a diet void of protein. It’s a part of the bigger picture.
Economists and sociologists are starting to study this dimension of our society and the very real impact that it is having on people and families in our country. Known as “deaths of despair,” these academics are finding links between a lack of faith and a disconnection form what it means to be human. This disconnect is resulting in a despair that leads to a rising suicide rate in the most prosperous country in the world.
How is it that faith can be the antidote? For one, it brings together people with shared values. It puts the ups and downs of life into perspective. Great joys are gifts, blessings. Great disappointments and heartaches are periods of refining, moments that can be jumping off points to a deeper, more vibrant faith life. Beyond that, faith gives meaning to all of the moments in life, large and small.
Denying a core part of the human person is a dangerous proposition. To live a rich and meaningful life, we must tend to every aspect of our personhood: our physical health, our emotional health, our relationships, our intellectual development, our sexuality, and our spirituality. Ignoring any one of those areas leaves us feeling emptier than we should. Abusing any of these areas causes real damage to our lives.
Passing on the Catholic faith is about more than just checking a box. It’s about giving my children a solid framework through which they can process every decision and event in their life. It’s about giving them the support that they need to go out and serve their communities. It’s about showing them that despite the turmoil or chaos around them, there’s a steady, constant set of truths that will not bend. It’s a gift as important and providing a stable home and one that I must work on passing on every day.
21 Years
I just celebrated the 21st anniversary of my First Reconciliation.
Confession is the gym of Catholic Sacraments. We rarely go, too sheepish to confront the reality of who we are. It’s difficult, embarrassing, and humbling. Of course, there’s the problem of a lack of confession times. When we do muster up the courage to go, we wait for 45 minutes at the back of an endless line of little old ladies who apparently just finished up a serious crime spree.
It’s easy to get lost in the mechanics surrounding Confession. The inconvenience, poor scheduling, and the natural resistance to verbally admit our own shortcomings all adds up to many of us going years between the Sacrament.
There is, however, something very human about the process of the sacrament. Summoning the courage to name your sins is cathartic. We can go into the Confessional without any pretense. The absolute seal of privacy gives us the ability to speak freely. You can expose your weaknesses in the hope of overcoming them. The priest, hopefully, will share not just a word of encouragement, but a thought that will propel you into your new, sinless future. When you consider all of those factors, it becomes clear that Confession is one of our most powerful tools in the spiritual life.
As I reflect on my personal growth over the past 21 years, I realize that there is no way that I would be part of the Catholic community without this vital Sacrament. The Eucharist is central to the Catholic experience. Reconciliation is critical to helping us prepare to receive Jesus in that awesome sacrament.
We’re required to go to Reconciliation once a year, usually during Lent. Do more than the minimum this year.
Integrating the Bible in Your Life
I want to share something with you that made an outsized impact on my life last year. For me, 2017 was full of change and new circumstances. In the midst of all of that instability, I noticed that I placing my hope for happiness in the wrong places.
Self-awareness is a beautiful thing, but at first blush, it’s a challenging reality to encounter. I didn’t believe that I was looking for happiness in the wrong places, but alas, I was.
Sometime in late Summer, Alison and I had reached the point that we had been planning for our entire marriage. The table was set just how we had planned, but I still felt something was missing.
As I shaped my new daily routine, I downloaded the YouVersion app, everything changed.
YouVersion is a free Bible app. It has hundreds of translations, including a Catholic translation, the New American Bible Revised Edition (NABRE).
Naturally, YouVersion has the entire Bible, right there in the app, but the way in which it makes Scripture accessible is a game changer.
There is a verse of the day. A short passage that I read in the morning, and carry with me throughout the day. I like that feature. In fact, you can even set up a notification so that YouVersion can push you the verse of the day.
But there’s another aspect of the app that truly revolutionized both my prayer life and my personal life.
YouVersion has thousands of reading plans. These plans are crafted around a theme, which could be a holiday, emotion, circumstance, or even just a word. Each day, and the plans can last from a few days to a few weeks, has a devotional. The devotional is then paired with passages from the Bible that relate to the day’s theme in the reading plan.
The combination of the daily verse and the reading plans exposed me to the personal power and impact of Scripture. The Bible was no longer a book or passages that I hear at Mass on Sunday. Now, it’s specifically applicable to my life. I can complete a reading plan about finding happiness, for example, and hear what God wants to tell me about that topic.
I took this opening up of Scripture to another level by better preparing for Mass on Sunday. I’m using Mark Hart’s Ascend book to study the Readings on Saturday afternoons. Mark does a great job of providing context to the Readings in the form of historical background and other fun facts. I now find myself joyfully getting ready for Mass on Sunday morning.
The most impactful thing that happened to me in 2017 was opening the Bible and letting God speak directly to me through it. Let it have the same impact on you this year.