There are many obstacles to living a holy life. We must overcome our environment, our past choices, and even our own natural inclinations. While our “fight or flight” nature defaults us to looking out after our own self interest, the Christian life demands that we look outward first before tending to our own wants and desires. Perhaps the most difficult obstacle that we must overcome in this fight against our inclination to sin is dispelling ourselves of the false nature of despair.

Despair is when we stop believing in God’s promise of mercy. It’s essentially a state that calls God a liar. There is no hope, no salvation. I am a bad person, I don’t deserve anything good, I, I, I, me, me, me. While despair carries the mask of reality, it is truly far from it. While it is true that none of us are worthy of salvation, God in His goodness extends through space and time to make us worthy. We are worthy not by our own merits, but by His. There is always hope, there is always salvation, and there is always a way back.

Despair, like fear, resides in the darkness of our minds. It is the loud, yet singular, voice telling us things that we first don’t believe, but as we go deeper into the message, fall victim to the thinking. It creeps, grows, and spoils the goodness within us. As we give despair more and more credence, we start to act on it, committing sin that we otherwise would have avoided had we not believed that salvation was just too far. It’s a disastrous thought process that permits sin on the basis of prior sins committed. Like a storm surge over a breached flood wall, we’re overcome. Inundated, we feel helpless and trapped, and so we turn to the loudest voice in our minds. That voice isn’t the sound of God reaching out to save us, no that voice was tuned out long ago. Instead, it’s the voice of despair leading us deeper in the darkness as we drown.

The nature of despair, however, is not the looming monster that we believe it to be. Rather, it’s as wispy as a morning fog. When the sun rises, it rapidly dissipates, leaving no trace of its existence. While we may walk into the confessional lost in the thick haze, the rays of God’s mercy dispel of the darkness leaving us squarely back in the light. The voice of despair remains, but now its strength has been supplanted by Truth itself.

Despair, however, refuses to be beaten. That characteristic is one that we should admire. Like a colony of ants whose hill was just knocked over, it’s right back to work on its mission of deception. The only difference now, however, is that your defenses are back up. Filled with grace instead of drowning in despair, you’re prepared to see through the falsehoods and see despair for what it really is. We can never silence despair, but we can marginalize it to the point of inconsequence.

The of all of the challenges that we face in the spiritual life, none are more sinister than the silent killers. The negative thoughts that linger in our minds are those which will completely destroy us, if we let them. In times of despair, use logic and reason to recall that what God has promised, He has done. There is no cause of doubt or concern. Turn to Him, listen to Him, and follow Him.