Over the last half century, the general agreement between Church and culture has broken down. The Church and culture held a common set of values and standards of conduct, but slowly and deliberately, the culture chose to make its own path. This break has lead to the fractured society we now live in, where we don’t even acknowledge the same reality.

For many, the Catholic Church is the church of no. Don’t do this, you can’t do that, I’m afraid that’s not right and you shouldn’t do it. That’s all true and correct. We are born into a world of order, where there are standards and consequences. It is not possible to exist outside of them, and attempts to do so are quickly addressed. But what’s lost is the safety of no.

Parents micromanage every moment of their young children’s lives. A child does not have the mental capacity to notice danger or anticipate outcomes. For that reason, the thoughtful and loving parent devotes hours per day keeping them from harm. That means saying no early and often, but rarely for the convenience of the parent. No, you may not eat ice cream for dinner because your body needs protein. No, you may not watch a movie right before bed because it will disrupt your circadian rhythm. No, you may not have a cell phone because your childhood is better without it. No, you may not ride your bike past your boundaries because the other streets are too busy.

This is no power trip, this is part of the total gift of self. A parent pours themselves into their child, and maintains a protective shield around them so that they can be free to experience a joyful childhood. Every no is for the benefit of the child, not the parent.

The Church has spent centuries thinking about the big questions, and in every teaching, regulation, and rule has been consistent. Her guidance is ordered toward the good of the human person, man fully alive and truly free. Every no is the result of a deeper understanding that a yes would ultimately cause harm. Living together before marriage makes saying yes to a lifelong commitment nearly impossible. Contraceptives destroy life, turning a parent into something other. Receiving the Eucharist while in a state of mortal sin is an act of grave dishonesty. Each of these things hurts the person who engages in them.

It would be wrong to think that the Catholic Church is not a place for questions, just as it would be wrong to think that it is only for the perfect. What better place to ask questions than the place with answers? The Church is ready for questions because She’s been asking them for centuries before now and will continue ask them into the future. Every answer is summarized and indexed in the Catechism, waiting to be examined. The Christian life is one of constant renewal in the mold of St. Francis of Assisi.

We all must contend with the difficult things, it’s part of being an adult. But what a blessing it is that we don’t have to start from square one and answer them all. As children, we didn’t know how good we had it. A life free from worry about finances, job loss, or hunger. As adults, the Church stands ready to offer sure and true guidance for how to live a life in freedom, joy, and vocation. In every case where She offers us a no, we are lovingly spared the misery and suffering from the danger of yes that we do not yet perceive.