In many ways, wedding anniversaries are like adult birthdays. They are a moment to pause and reflect, but nothing like the birthdays of youth. There is no giant cake and no giant pile of presents. Instead, they are profound milestones that reflect the power of silent growth compounded over time.

Marriage is a dynamic vocation, a durable bond that flexes and adjusts to changing circumstances. Like skyscrapers with built-in tolerance to adjust for wind and storms, the covenant remains sturdy and trustworthy as the buffets come. In the beginning, it’s only the couple meeting the needs of one another. Soon, with God’s blessing, children enter into the abode of the marriage, and the couple’s attention and energies are spent in service of raising and protecting them. Weekly date nights and weekend getaways give way to painting garages or planting gardens. Although the outer appearance of Marriage changes, the interior dynamic remains.

The temptation of youth is towards the flashy; the mark of experience is stoic wisdom. Youthful judgment grades the quality of a relationship on the number of dates, trips, feelings and external expressions. Stoicism recognizes the preeminence of the development of the interior life. Married couples who focus on growing in intimacy in quiet and profound ways reap a harvest that lasts a lifetime.

So much can change in thirteen years. I could not have predicted the challenges that we have faced, and the many more that are surely over the horizon. But what has not changed is the covenant we share. It’s a promise we made in the presence of God, family, and friends to do everything we can to help each other, and our children, achieve sainthood.