St. Thomas, along with his brother Apostles, spent three full years in ministry with Jesus. He traveled with them, lived with them, ate with them, and slept with them. He saw the great works of Jesus, and experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows.

After the Resurrection, he was the only Apostle not present when Jesus first came into the Upper Room. Upon his return, his brothers must have been ecstatic to share with him further confirmation that the Easter rumors were true. His response?

“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” John 20:25

He heard this incredible news, the fulfillment of what he dedicated a considerable portion of his adult life to, and he doubted. One quote in a man’s life, forever tagged with the “Doubting Thomas” moniker.

The insertion of this story, but also the fact that one Apostle was conspicuously absent when Jesus appeared, is an injection of hope for us modern-day doubters. We’ve read the stories, heard the news, and studied the theology. But still, no matter how great and personal our encounters with God have been, we have moments where we question. Can it all be true? How can this be real?

In His ministry, many people asked Jesus to work signs and wonders for Him.

Many of them were probably sincere in their doubt. They thought, “If I could just see something with my eyes, then I can be freed of this doubt and believe.” It’s easy to imagine how we would react if Jesus was back, but we only learned about him on short form videos and social media. Would we believe?

Doubt is curiosity of the intellect, contending with difficult truths, and discovering the beautiful gift waiting for us in plain sight. God asks us to have faith like children: they hear and believe. Still, He will be satisfied with our belief if we choose to accept and love Him after a review of the evidence.

St. Paul told us to test everything. True doubt is not an outright rejection, but a reserved acceptance. We want to believe, but we need to gather more information. The test of or mettle is what conclusions we draw at the end. Have the courage to go out and find that information; read the documents, find the right book, listen to podcasts, and go deeper in prayer. Place your finger into the nailmarks and your hand into His side. And in the final analysis, when you have all the research and your hands are covered in His blood, choose life.