In our life, we experience many transformations. We change from a child into an adolescent. We change from an adolescent into an adult. We are no longer the person that we used to be. We do the same thing when we get married.

When we say “I do,” we lose our identity as single persons.This transformation is a paradox. We give everything up and gain everything. Who we are as people is forever changed. It is when we forget our new identity that we get into trouble.

One of the things about identity is that we need to live by it with singleness of purpose. All of our decisions need to be made in light of who we are as people. For example, as a married person, I would not make a major purchase without consulting with my wife. It is in light of my identity as married that I know that I am not the only decision maker.

Having the identity of a married person is a beautiful thing. You cannot experience a more complete human relationship. Being married, two complimentary people, man and woman, fill out each other’s weaknesses. The two become participants in God’s plan of Creation. They become co-creaters.

Being married is a privilege. It is a privilege that requires work. You can no longer only think of yourself. You have to include someone else in your thought processes. You have to involve your spouse in your life. You must also be involved in theirs.

If taken seriously, you will notice how much of a change your identity has given to you. You will make wiser choices. You will not live as selfishly. You will gain great joy from your self-sacrifice.

Having a new identity is not something to be scared of. It is something to embrace. It is something to love. It is truly beautiful.

Embrace your new identity. Live by it. Reap its rewards.