This Way of Life
Memorial Day finds its roots in the post-Civil War era. A nation healing from a brutal conflict sought some small way to remember those fathers, brothers, friends, and neighbors who perished in a fight for the future of America. After World War I, the observance was expanded to all who gave their lives for their country.
It’s noteworthy how we talk about these young men and women who, as the saying goes, shall not grow old. Their lives were not taken, but given. They gave their lives so that their family could live in peace and that others may live. The soldier’s job is no common vocation, but a choice to inconvenience themselves for the sake of others. It’s an act of courage to step forward and raise their right hands, and many of them gave everything they could to honor their oath.
We also talk about how today is a day of remembrance of those who died to protect the American way of life. This encompassing phrase captures what makes America exceptional. It’s a way of life that operates with free markets and free people. It’s the growth engine that can pull people out of poverty, mint rags-to-riches stories, and lift all boats. It’s our ability to sleep soundly in our beds and attend Mass without concern for our safety.
Our warrior class has stood for 250 years, guarding over our nation, freeing us from the threats, and enabling our peace and prosperity. On this day, we pause to thank them and their families, for the ultimate sacrifice that makes the world a better place.
Ready, Set
Many times throughout the year, whether it be in January or our birthday, we get an internal urge to change. We recognize in ourselves ways in which we could improve, and acknowledge that we’re not who we want to be. In those moments, we resolve to change.
The next thought is usually expansive planning about how to reach our destination. We need the perfect plan, the perfect setup, the perfect time. False starts abound as we tee up our “Ready, set…” moments. Whiffing leaves us demoralized, or just the distractions of life carry us off on to some bigger, better thing.
Like Charlie Brown kicking a football, I’ve fallen for this, too. It’s why I’m always so shocked that a lack of planning is the best indicator of my success at change.
I’ve considered myself a walker for 12 years, but in the last two, there’s only been one four-week period in which I’ve walked every single day. It’s not for a lack of trying, and I did have a foot injury that kept me off the street for many mornings. But my foot wasn’t what kept me from walking; my choices did.
Yesterday was 21 days in a row that I’ve walked. I didn’t set out to make April 27th my start day, it was a Sunday. Successful exercise plans, as we all know, begin correctly on Monday morning at 5:00am. They never start on a Sunday afternoon. But here I am.
Momentum is built up, and even on those marginal days when there’s legitimately some other task that’s deserving of my time, I choose to walk. When I give up on lining up the Ready, Set moments, and instead put in the work without questions, excuses, or plans, I win.
Domestic Things
The Mass readings in the Easter season feature vignettes into the Risen Christ reintroducing Himself to His followers, and His followers grappling with what they are experiencing. The stories and scenes are familiar to us, but they are also eminently relatable. These are among the easiest stories to place ourselves in.
There is a thread that sticks out to me. We live in a culture of busyness that praises those who do-it-all. An intact executive function and one hundred sixty-eight hours are, in reality, not enough to do it all. Our work, family, and domestic responsibilities exceed our ability.
In the last decade, work-life balance was the watchword. This mythical reality stalked corporate America as workers sought the elusive goal of keeping their personal and professional responsibilities perfectly balanced. They were to be exactly 50/50, without any instances of one taking priority and harming the other.
Confronted with this hard truth, that we can’t do it all and there will never be stasis in our lives, we tilt towards feelings of overwhelm or out of control. In those moments, we’re more likely to prioritize our professional obligations over our personal ones. The domestic, after all, is pedestrian. I can do laundry any time, but if I do well on this project, I might get a promotion.
In comes Jesus, the second person of the Blessed Trinity, rising from the dead. Resurrected, before He even leaves the tomb, He makes His bed.
When Simon Peter arrived after him, he went into the tomb and saw the burial cloths there, and the cloth that had covered his head, not with the burial cloths but rolled up in a separate place. - John 20:6-7
A few days later, when the Apostles are out fishing one morning, Jesus appears on the shoreline. Hearing of their lack of production, He sends them back out and they score a great catch. They race back to be with their risen friend,
When they climbed out on shore, they saw a charcoal fire with fish on it and bread. -John 21:9
But it wasn’t just that Jesus had prepared a fire, He went further,
Jesus came over and took the bread and gave it to them, and in like manner the fish. -John 21:13
Making beds, preparing breakfast, do these unassuming tasks sound familiar? They are ones that we undertake every day; small, ordinary things that evidence the rote nature of our routines. It’s these boring domestic things that we discount and society considers nothing. But it is in these small act that we find God, and our calling. We find our very purpose, to do small things with great love as Mother Teresa reminds us.
He did these things to show us that the simple, essential, repeating tasks that we must do each day are not to be despised. Rather, they are the very path to our perfection in Him.
System of Logic
The world is awash in bad ideas, and far too many people are willing to accept them at face value. In the parts of the world where the Church accommodates by moving away from its teachings, the Church is suffocating in an ocean of relativity. In the parts of the world where the Church stands firm on truth as an act of charity, it thrives as a lighthouse.
Many question how the Church’s teachings and doctrine are relevant in the world today. The curious get into the voluminous published materials that not only explain the what, but the why. A great place to start is the Catechism, which provides bite sized summaries with plenty of cross-references and footnotes to flesh it out.
Church teaching is not arbitrary, but a system of logic that stitches together what it means to be human and how to live a good and fulfilling life.
This is a confusing time, where our phones provide us with access to bad ideas that would never flourish in a world of more filtered and limited communications. It is incumbent on us to challenge and scrutinize these ideas. When we challenge them, what do they yield?
Unpacking the truth on which the Church stands reveals a self-reinforcing understanding of the human person and man’s place in the world. It is an understanding that yields unrivaled deference to the dignity of the human person and stands opposed to any idea, action, or law that seeks to degrade that dignity.
It’s a truly radical philosophy, but one that opens up a world of fulfillment, joy, and peace for those who have the courage to raise their questions and see what the Church says in response.
In the Quiet Hours
I love the romance of the early morning. Now that the children are growing, and oftentimes I still hear them as I wind down for the day. The stillness of the house is deeply peaceful for me, and I find it most consistently in the morning before they start to stir. It’s in that quiet space that I can fully relax, and think deeply.
Spring is changing my neighborhood, and I’m struck in the morning how quickly the stars fade, and the morning light starts to break. I typically listen to podcasts, but even with my headphones in, the chorus of birds chirping in the canopy as the sun starts to rise breaks through the noise.
Coming out of that aura of birdsong into the quiet house, and feeling my muscles relax after an hour of work, is the perfect way to start my day. I begin with a sense of accomplishment and peace, two things that I need to make it through the challenges of daily life.
There are many days when I use those two hours for more sleep. Every so often, that’s the correct choice; rest is a key ingredient for health. But most days, the right choice is to get up early, get outside, and orient my day towards the things that really matter.
Mercy
The Church is many things, but one of its best attributes is that it is a place for thinkers. Theology, the study of God, is one of the most complex subjects in the expanse of human understanding. Its object is not the secrets of the animal kingdom, the building blocks of the universe, or the next big thing. It is the quiet contemplation of truth, itself.
We all benefit from these great thinkers who have spooled out nearly every aspect of Scripture, Traditional, and doctrine. To be sure, there are still areas that are beyond the limits of the human intellect, but for those depths that have been plumbed are great treasures.
Divine Mercy is one of these areas. A newer area of theological inquiry, Jesus’ apparitions to St. Faustina in the early 20th century reflect God’s intense desire to reveal more deeply this aspect of His nature. The timing could not have been more perfect. In the time between two world wars in less than a generation, and the atrocities that were committed, what better time in salvation history was there to remind humanity of the depths of God’s mercy?
In those apparitions, Jesus used specific language to try to communicate how far this mercy reaches. He described unfathomable depths, and mercy that flows out in torrents. Those are not words that we use frequently; they’re almost like trying to think about how deep the ocean is, or the expanse of space.
We rely on God’s mercy to overcome our frailties in hope of obtaining all that He has promised. It is a gift of love and friendship offered by a loving Father to His children, and is for all who have the courage and hope to accept.
Jesus is King
Who is this Jesus, the one to whom the crowd flocks, then condemns? Who is this Jesus, who claims to be the Son of God, who challenges every convention and system? Who is this Jesus, whose breath brings healing, whose words alter the trajectory of lives, whose spit opens the eyes of the blind? Who is this Jesus, who posses a power so perfect that even brushing the tassel of His cloak is enough to end hemorrhaging? Who is this Jesus, whose flesh is essential to our survival, whose blood washes away every sin, whose hands wipe away every tear? Who is this Jesus, who chooses to enter into the imperfect through the Eucharist, leaving them perfected? Who is this Jesus, God indivisible, integral, and whole? Who is this Jesus, the living sacrifice, who lays out His plan and patiently waits for our fiat?
Jesus is King.
Witness
I’ve always had great respect for evangelical Christians and LDS. When we lived in the Deep South, it wouldn’t be unusual for a car to pull into our neighborhood, and its occupants split off into pairs knocking on doors. I worked with the LDS extensively in my prior job, and their two-year mission is something else. These are people who are truly convicted, and willing to knock on your door and tell you all about it.
Our Catholic understanding is that the Spirit gives each of us our own unique gifts, and our mission is to flourish where we’re planted. Not all of us can be missionaries in India, but some of us are. Not all of us are incredibly talented musicians, but some of us are. For the most part, living our faith in our career and homes, and passing on the faith to our children is our mission.
Last week, Alison and I took our two oldest kids to a Forrest Frank concert. The algorithm introduced me to Forrest a little more than a year ago, and I thoroughly enjoy his music. There is a dynamism to his work that makes each song an adventure. The fact that he infuses these fun melodies with profound prayer is all the better.
Forrest is about my age, and his opening act was even younger. But for three hours on a weekday night, 10,000 people came together to pray and enjoy great music. I had a good time, but I was also impressed with the fact that these people took their talent and chose to bring their faith to those who do and do not yet know God.
St. Paul reminds us of the importance of encouragement, and to be generous building each other up. I think every person in that arena that night went home encouraged.
Theology of Marriage
Until recently, marriage was a unifying thread of the human experience, seen across cultures, people, and time. In every civilization, there was a social structure which formed the basis of the family and, by extension, society. The State established and sanctioned these unions out of its self-interest in a stable populace, a natural network of support for children, and the key to its perpetuation. It’s only in recent times, under the tyranny of convenience and a culture obsessed with disposability, did hubris encourage many to question, redefine, or ignore this basic contract.
Contracts govern every aspect of our lives, from how banks hold our money, to how we acquire real estate and property, the terms of our employment, and yes, even marriages. The State, though now more feebly, still recognizes marriages and bestows certain benefits to those who enter into such contracts. There are tax benefits, property rights, and a presumption of authorization to be involved in the affairs of the spouse.
Regrettably, as the State has endangered its survival by downplaying the importance of marriage, cultural norms have followed. Morals often trail law, which is why “decriminalizing” narcotics leads to higher rates of use, and consequently abuse. So when the State signals that marriage is nothing special, the populace’s opinion is not far behind.
Marriage is an essential component of civilization. Contracts are easily broken, but marriage is intrinsically designed to be unbreakable. This is for the welfare of the spouses, who share in common the most intimate and vulnerable experiences of humanity. It further benefits the children co-created within the union.
Marriage is so unique that the Catholic Church recognizes in it theological and philosophical properties. It’s a contract, legally binding, but there’s a dynamism to it that transcends the boundaries of law and touches the metaphysical realm. It’s a contract, sealed by a covenant.
The Church recognizes marriage as not just a ceremony, but as a sacrament. The Sacraments are outward signs, instituted by Christ, to give grace. There are only seven of these moments in a person’s life, and they track the human journey from cradle to grave. Matrimony is the only one of the seven sacraments in which the laity are its ministers. The bride and groom, entering freely into the sacrament, confer it on one another by giving their free assent. The Church, through the authority of its priest or deacon, only witness the sacrament, consecrates it, and perfects it.
When marriage is proposed, the parties consent to enter into a contract with one another. It begins a period of preparation in which the couple works on the details of the closing, the wedding itself. They agree to the terms, decide on certain family, financial, and legal issues, and at the end of the wedding ceremony, ratify the contract by signing the marriage license. This is the proof to the State and to institutions that the marriage is valid.
Sacramental marriage, while recognizing the validity of the legal contract, enshrines the union in a covenant. This covenant traces its roots back to Genesis, when God revealed Himself to Abram and entered into the first covenant with humanity. God directed Abram to collect animals, and split them in two in the desert. God then descended and “passed between” the dead animals, perfecting the covenant. In a Catholic marriage, the couple confer the sacrament upon one another in the sanctuary, before the altar upon which the New Covenant is reaffirmed every day as the sacrifice of Christ is represented through the Mass.
What occurs is not just an exchanging of solemn vows, but a metaphysical change. The very nature of the spouses, and their relationship, is indelibly changed. Their marriage, and the vows made to each other, can be broken only by death itself.
Extreme Comfort
There’s little doubt that we are living the most comfortable lives any human has ever experienced. Electricity, clean water, and boundless food with few threats, we have got it good. It’s easy to slip into complacency, taking this life for granted. So when a spring storm rolls through and knocks out your power for two days, the degree to which we depend on these comforts to function becomes clear.
The same is true for our spiritual life. We have access not only to the full Bible, in our language, but we also have thousands of years of reflections and exegesis to study. There’s the Catechism, and the full story of salvation history, all laid out for us. It’s never been easier for us to know God and understand His plan for us. But we still struggle, get complacent, and go our own way.
Lent is the strong, spring storm of the Church. It’s the annual sacrifice, giving up some small comfort in our day, to remind ourselves of who we are, and whose we are. It’s the season of humility, when we acknowledge, once again, that God’s way is better.
Our life is full of ups and downs, but we exist in relationship with a God who is faithful to us through it all. Hopefully one year we can enter the Lenten season not needing this simple, but powerful reminder.