Catholic Husband

Patience is a virtue that I’m not very good at.

Patience is a great virtue to have. It allows you to be kind to a customer service representative when you’re furious at a company. It can significantly reduce the number of fights with your wife. It can improve harmony in your relationships at work.

Unfortunately, the only way to really grow in patience is for it to be challenged. That means that you’ll have to undergo trial by fire.

You might also find that when you resolve to grow in patience that it will be especially tried. It will happen more often and with more intensity. That’s a difficult experience to undergo, even when you’re not trying to build your patience muscles.

It can be easier to endure when you know what will be waiting for you on the other side. Patience can make a huge difference in your relationships. When you are in a stressful time or difficult situation with someone and you’re able to exhibit patience, both of you will have a better outcome. Your patience will bring a calming presence to the situation and will ultimately be reciprocated by the other person.

Fights are caused by escalations. Patience is a de-escalator. It is incredibly difficult for someone to get increasingly angry with you when you’re remaining at a peaceful and calm level.

Growing in patience is really difficult. But the fruit that it produces is so sweet.

The Church is a wide and open road. While there are essential components of the spiritual life, such as the Sacraments, the Church provides limitless expressions of faith. One type of prayer is devotions.

A devotion is a type of prayer to a particular saint. It’s an ongoing form of prayer. Devotion isn’t worship, it’s another name for relationship. As you pray to a particular saint for intercession, you come to know them and their story. As a result, you both grow in friendship.

It can be tremendously helpful to have a primary devotion in your life. It’s all too easy to take on too many devotions. By having a primary devotion, you create a home base. When you get off track or wander off the path, you always know where to go to get started again.

Since you know where to start when you’re ready to start praying again, you’ll be comforted by the familiarity of the devotion.

Your primary devotion should be one that you love. It may be one that was important to your family or one that held significance at some point during your life.

There’s a principle in business that holds that companies should focus on doing one thing perfectly before adding additional services. For example, a car wash company should perfect their skills at car washing before adding detailing services. By honing your prayer skills in one particular way, you can perfect your prayer before exploring a different avenue of Catholicism.

A primary devotion can be just the tool you need to get back on the horse when you’ve fallen off.

As a part of the Catholic Church, we are members of an extraordinary community. We routinely have miracles happen within our group. We have relics that not only share our story, but also facilitate God’s grace. Sometimes, it’s almost too incredible for our minds to comprehend.

This blog, for me, is an exercise in both contemplation and humility. Part of the way that I process concepts is through writing. On many of the topics I write, I’m a novice. I write about the ideal, but am usually only experimenting at the beginners level. I’m sad to say that my initial reaction to hearing an incredible (and I daresay miraculous) story is disbelief. I’m a regular Doubting Thomas.

I have the most difficulty with events that relate to history. For example, in Italy is the childhood home of Mary. It was brought there in the fourth century. It’s hard for me to understand how it would at all be possible for anyone to have found such a home and then, above all else, transported it to Italy. Her house was nondescript, like any other in her town. How could they have possibly found the one?

A few weeks ago, on the Feast of the Exultation of the Cross, our pastor addressed my doubts in his homily. He had in his possession a relic of the True Cross. He rhetorically asked how it was possible that, after 300 years, St. Helen could have possibly found THE Cross. He then said something that was a game changer for me. “I have a harder time believing that God would have left the True Cross to be lost to history."

When I meet a miraculous story with disbelief, that is partly good sense. However, when I meet a miraculous story that has been duly verified by the Church, I’m suffering from a lack of faith. Why couldn’t God do those things? Why wouldn’t something amazing happen to the physical relics of men and women whom the Church has declared to be in Heaven?

When you start to take that stance on miracles, when you understand the strenuous vetting that the Church puts any miracle through, it starts to really sink in. This is an amazing faith. This is an amazing Church. How can you not feel a great zeal and love knowing that you’re part of a living body that has these experiences on a regular basis?

It’s human to meet extraordinary events and stories with doubt. Be sure enough in your faith to consider the fact that such stories might actually be true.

Why do you go to Mass? In our lives, the intent behind an action is sometimes more important than the action itself. What are your motivations?

Intentions matter, a lot. You can do something very good with bad intentions. For example, you could help resettle a refugee family so that others will think highly of you. Bad intent can ruin any good that might come from an action.

Going to Mass on Sunday is a requirement of Catholics. The Church has this requirement because She knows that we need to be together as a community, and we, as individuals, need strength to make it through the week.

Do we go out of a sense of duty? Do we go out of a sense of obligation? Or do we go out of a sense of love?

If you find yourself going out of a sense of duty or obligation, it’s time to reevaluate your intent.

Your faith should be a love affair. Nothing in your relationship with God should feel like an obligation. Instead, you lovingly let go of your own desires and accept that of God.

Grace is a gift. It’s given freely to us by God, available to us the moment we choose to accept it. What does the decision to accept or reject grace mean for us?

The great thing about God is that He never forces anything on us. He never forces us to love Him, He doesn’t prevent us from sinning. This is a good thing because it removes the possibility of the existence of pre-destination. You have complete control over your destiny and whether or not you spend eternity in Heaven.

What it does mean is that if we want to make it to Heaven, we’ve got a lot of work to do. Since God isn’t forcing a decision on us, if we choose to love Him, we’re choosing a task that we’re woefully unprepared to undertake. To make up for this inadequacy, God offers us grace.

Grace is the supernatural currency that allows us to rise above our circumstances. It allows us to enhance the good in our lives and to make better choices.

If we accept grace, we will grow in love. Our actions, our words, and our thoughts will be more loving. This creates a trickle-down effect to those around us. As we’re more loving, it becomes easier for others to reciprocate that love and, therefore, they become more loving.

The sooner we begin to accept grace, the better our lives will be. While we’ll still face sufferings and hardships, they’ll be easier to bear. As we undergo trials, we’ll know that we’re both not alone and not suffering needlessly.

Grace is the key to the locked door out of our own humanity. When we avail ourselves of the graces we need to be the people we are called to be, we begin to get a glimpse into the mind of God.