Work from Home Dad
Over the past few weeks, I’ve spent more time working at the kitchen counter than I have working at my desk. In a way, that’s a shame because I have the perfect desk setup in our family office. The reality of my daily responsibilities means that for large parts of the day, I’m downstairs with the kids.
While working at the kitchen counter has been fine, I need more space. I’ve migrated from the kitchen to the dining room table. Now, throughout the day, the kids see me working away in the dining room as they play and get their work done.
It’s a daily challenge to balance my responsibilities at work and at home, but my children and I now share a special bond. I get to involve them in my work. They see what I do, got with me to visit customers, and get to share my love of aviation. I remember how special it was as an Air Force kid to go over to the squadron and hang out in my dad’s office, or walk out on the flight line and see the jets. Now my youngest daughter jumps with glee when I announce that we’re going to the airport.
Parents have plenty to manage when it comes to raising children; even more so when throwing work into the mix. It’s a special thing for me to be able to share my work with my kids.
Permission to Push
It’s easy to be overwhelmed with work. There are busy seasons, bad weeks, and times when illness or scheduling get you behind the power curve. When your inbox overflows with emails, your task list falls apart, and you feel completely overrun, it’s important to remember that you have a productivity superpower.
We underestimate just how much we can get done with 90 minutes of solid, quiet work. The number of overdue tasks and unread emails may seem huge, but the time that it takes to process most emails is miniscule. A well-used time block can go a long way to clearing the backlog.
The best way to get back to a manageable pace is to push due dates. There are some tasks that are true priorities, but most can be accomplished in the reasonable near future. Getting behind is normal, so rescheduling overdue tasks to be completed in the coming days is usually all you need to get back on top.
Good work is only possible when you’re in a good headspace. Flailing from task to task, while feeling overwhelmed, is a recipe for mistakes that will require even more work in the future. When you get behind, take a pause and give yourself permission to push off due dates. You’ll be back in control in no time.
Work or Workout
I’ve thought a lot about scheduling over the past few months. Some of it was the normal end of year reflection, and some of it was the realization that I haven’t been walking like I had planned.
Life is about balancing competing priorities, and over the past 12 months, work and sleep have too often beat out workouts. I enjoy working out, and listening to podcasts during my walks is a great use of my time. But the pressures and deadlines have knocked me off course, and I need a reminder of why I should get back out there.
The truth is, I work better when I’ve exercised. Sleeping in gets me an extra 60 or 90 minutes of sleep, but those precious minutes don’t make nearly as big of an impact as waking up on time does.
Sleeping in pushes my workout into my work hours, derails my morning quiet time, and gets me off to a bad start. Occasionally, it’s necessary, but it usually does more harm than good.
I do best when I stick to the plan; it’s a plan that I crafted for a reason. I can get a full night of rest, workout, and get all of my work done in the same day. It just takes a recognition that everything has a time and a place, and if I want a full successful day, I need to commit to the plan.
Create Beauty
There’s so much darkness and ugliness in the world. The links that get clicked and shows that get watched thrive on it. We almost indulge the darkness.
But when we look up from our screens, when we behold the world around us as it truly is, there’s nothing but beauty. Colors, textures, weather, and creation changes from moment to moment. Each morning, the sunrise is different from the morning before. On many evenings, the gradient of the sunset delights the eyes and soothes the soul. Animals come and go, along with the seasons. We’re treated to a buffet of beauty, a world always in motion bringing new sights to our doorsteps.
We have a duty to not give into the darkness, but to bring beauty into the world. We should create beautiful art, to speak beautiful words, and share beautiful actions. We must be more intentional about creating beauty in a dreary world.
Bible in a Year
It took me far too long to set aside the time necessary to read the Bible. I went to Catholic school throughout most of my education, and took numerous theology courses in college. Despite all of that education, I’d only studied the Bible piecemeal, and typically not that well.
The problem with the Bible is that we treat it as a singular, linear book, meant to be read in order. The truth is that the Bible is closer to an anthology, a collection of disparate books, that were assembled into one volume. Although written by various authors, sometimes centuries apart, there are themes and characters that run throughout the narrative.
St. Jerome, author of the Latin translation of the Bible, wrote that ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. Throughout the Old Testament is hidden the New Testament. In the New Testament is fully revealed and fulfilled the Old. Every word, every verse plays its role, weaving together the story of salvation, and instructing us in the reality of the human person.
Truthfully, none of us should attempt to study the Bible on our own. There is too much context, too much history, and too much truth for us to unpack. It’s a much better choice to go with a trusted guide, someone who can help us to see the bright spots, understanding the setting, and fully unpack the message. I went with the Ascension Press “The Bible in a Year” podcast, and it was excellent.
The Bible is more than a book, it is the Book. The daily life of the Church finds all of its roots in Scripture, and many of the prayers that we pray every day and every week are verbatim drawn out of the text. Living the Christian life is living a Biblical life.
There were many surprises, a shocking amount of violence, and a constant refrain of reform. The story of Israel is our story, and we live in the many of the same scenarios that they lived through. We struggle with the same temptations, and make the same idiotic mistakes. And what is God’s message all throughout? Reform, return, come home.
Following the narrative of the story, and watching the puzzle pieces slowly come together, one day at a time, was the perfect way to study, explore, and discover the Bible. All it takes is showing up every day, and pressing play.
Silent Night
With last week’s brutal winter weather came all sorts of inconveniences. Plans changed, businesses closed, and flights were cancelled. In a way, it was appropriate that this massive storm caused us all to pause in the closing weeks of the year.
As the cold set in on Friday evening, we sat down to dinner. The Advent wreath was giving off plenty of light and, as we all made our way through the meal, the power went out.
The soft glow of the tree plunged into darkness; suddenly, our only source of light was the four burning candles. For a moment, I was confused. The overhead light was clearly out, but the brightness of the candles didn’t lead to a major reduction in overall light.
The kids became very excited, and Alison proposed lighting a fire. A few minutes later, we were all on the rug in front of the fireplace, wrapped up in blankets, enjoying a silent night.
At that moment, with the fire as the only source of light and heat in the house, I felt a very close connection to the Holy Family. It’s easy to imagine in the cold, damp caves, deep in winter, Joseph, Mary, and their newborn child huddled around a fire to keep warm. There’s no distraction, no agenda; there’s only presence.
A silent night, a holy night, in a cave in a rural town, an anonymous family witnessed the singular event that changed all of human history. In those ordinary moments, they thought not of the challenges ahead, but of the peace and quiet joy of the night.
May we all experience that serenity this Christmas season.
The Year It’s Been
The final two weeks of the year always feel the same to me, and it’s a feeling that I love. Calm, peace, and finality set in as major projects wind down. My thoughts turn to what is about to begin.
We already tend to pause around this time, the end of year holidays are a time for rest, enjoyment, and fellowship. It’s a period of reflection when we all get a bit more pensive. New plans bubble up in our minds and the grand aspirations that we have for ourselves and our lives come back into the fore.
This was a remarkably crazy year for me. I started back to work for the first time in eight years, and had to adjust to the new reality. It was incredibly fulfilling, but keeping tabs on my reading, my physical health and other routine tasks became difficult. There were times that I had to cancel those essential daily duties to attend to my work.
We tend to think of our days, weeks, and years in terms of a continuous elapsing of time. Really, they’re moments strung together. Whether we make the most of them, or choose to focus on the important things, is up to us. Regardless of how we interact with the passing of time, it continues on.
As the calendar turns over to another year, it’s the perfect reminder to check ourselves. Are we using these moments well, or do we need to yet again set down the things that are holding us back and embrace the daily rituals that take us one step closer to the people that we aspire to be?
The Prodigal Son
The story of the prodigal son is a famous one because of its relatability. We’ve all acted foolishly, like the prodigal. We’ve also experienced that deep love and relief that touches us through reconciliation. While the prodigal son well known, few of us have spent time thinking about his brother.
Jesus uses the imagery of parents and sibling many times throughout his ministry. There are the two brothers who the father asks to go into the field, one who agrees and never leaves, the other that refuses but eventually goes. There are the sisters, Mary and Martha, one preoccupied with temporal things, the other ready to rest in God’s presence. All throughout the Old Testament, we see stories of siblings working together and, more often, fighting.
The prodigal son tells his father that he’s dead to him, takes his inheritance, and dibs. His brother, however, stays. We read near the end about how this “good” son stayed and worked for his father, but we also get a glimpse of the brokenness of this parental relationship. The good son is resentful when he sees how well his brother is treated upon his return. It’s almost as if he stayed with his father, but couldn’t stand to be with him.
There’s plenty more to unpack in this parable. The Bible is relatively short, so every word and image stands for more than one thing. But I think it reminds us of the relationship that God wants with us. He doesn’t just want us to pray, but to pray actively. He doesn’t want us to just go to Mass every week, but to go joyfully. He doesn’t want us to just pick up our cross, but to embrace it.
Heaven is eternal life with God, so what does it say if we would rather not spend time with Him in prayer today?
Time to Care
It’s easy, when time is tight, to cut the things that benefit us. Exercise, meal prep, prayer, these are activities that seem disposable, but are in reality the secret to our success. We’re responsible for the care of others, but we won’t be successful unless we first take the time to care for ourselves.
This is a recurring them that I’ve contended with over the past nine years, and more. The standard set of daily activities that I need to live a balanced life and be prepared for the responsibilities of my day. The life of any adult, let alone a parent, is exhausting. There are the weekly tasks like menu planning and laundry. There are the daily tasks, like meal prep and cleaning. Sprinkled in between is work, play, and so much more. Add into that managing the lives of your children, and it quickly becomes overwhelming.
I think the reason this remains so unsettled is that we hesitate to commit. It takes commitment to take care of ourselves, but the paradox is that the more that we cut into these essentials, the less we have to give. The more protected time and effort we give away to work and other things, the less we can respond to the daily needs of our families.
Like the oxygen mask on the airplane, we need to take a moment to secure our mask before we help others. The same is true for our daily lives. We must eat, pray, exercise, and relax, or we’ll be hopeless when managing the daily stresses of caring for those we love most.
True Gratitude
Thanksgiving is a remarkably calm period in my life. Not only does it signal the final few weeks of the year, but around this time, I get a palpable feeling of renewal. Major projects are winding down, and I start to ruminate on the bigger things in life. I reflect on the year that was, and start to plan for the year that is to come.
Amid this pause, we collectively take a breath and focus on gratitude. This year, my thoughts are turning more towards true gratitude. It’s simple, and right, that I should be thankful for the many helping hands in my life, or the relative peace that my family enjoys. But true gratitude goes back to the source; true gratitude orients our minds and hearts to the giver of all good gifts.
Our spiritual health functions in much the same way that our mental and a physical fitness do: all need daily attention. In a day stuffed full of commitments, we contend with the paradox of priorities. When the time comes for prayer, we feel that resistance to do something else on our list. We know the good that we ought to do, and too often choose something lesser.
Prayer isn’t about an appointment on the calendar or a time block in your day. It’s a connection with our core identity. Before He formed us, He knew us. Before we took our first breath, He knew all of our sin. Despite our failings, He chose to live and die just to be with us. He lives the deep longing of a parent to connect with their child. He patiently waits for a few moments of our day.
True gratitude is a recognition that everything that we are, and all that we have, finds its source in God’s love. Surrender to that love is the beginning of gratitude. By shifting our mindset, prayer goes from and obligation to opportunity. Prayer is a respite of calm in an ocean of chaos. The more time we spend in quiet conversation with God, the more our hearts become like His. As we draw ever nearer to Him, we experience a love that gives everything to us and for us. With that measure of wisdom, we can experience true gratitude for the many, many gifts in our lives.