Silent Night
With last week’s brutal winter weather came all sorts of inconveniences. Plans changed, businesses closed, and flights were cancelled. In a way, it was appropriate that this massive storm caused us all to pause in the closing weeks of the year.
As the cold set in on Friday evening, we sat down to dinner. The Advent wreath was giving off plenty of light and, as we all made our way through the meal, the power went out.
The soft glow of the tree plunged into darkness; suddenly, our only source of light was the four burning candles. For a moment, I was confused. The overhead light was clearly out, but the brightness of the candles didn’t lead to a major reduction in overall light.
The kids became very excited, and Alison proposed lighting a fire. A few minutes later, we were all on the rug in front of the fireplace, wrapped up in blankets, enjoying a silent night.
At that moment, with the fire as the only source of light and heat in the house, I felt a very close connection to the Holy Family. It’s easy to imagine in the cold, damp caves, deep in winter, Joseph, Mary, and their newborn child huddled around a fire to keep warm. There’s no distraction, no agenda; there’s only presence.
A silent night, a holy night, in a cave in a rural town, an anonymous family witnessed the singular event that changed all of human history. In those ordinary moments, they thought not of the challenges ahead, but of the peace and quiet joy of the night.
May we all experience that serenity this Christmas season.
The Year It’s Been
The final two weeks of the year always feel the same to me, and it’s a feeling that I love. Calm, peace, and finality set in as major projects wind down. My thoughts turn to what is about to begin.
We already tend to pause around this time, the end of year holidays are a time for rest, enjoyment, and fellowship. It’s a period of reflection when we all get a bit more pensive. New plans bubble up in our minds and the grand aspirations that we have for ourselves and our lives come back into the fore.
This was a remarkably crazy year for me. I started back to work for the first time in eight years, and had to adjust to the new reality. It was incredibly fulfilling, but keeping tabs on my reading, my physical health and other routine tasks became difficult. There were times that I had to cancel those essential daily duties to attend to my work.
We tend to think of our days, weeks, and years in terms of a continuous elapsing of time. Really, they’re moments strung together. Whether we make the most of them, or choose to focus on the important things, is up to us. Regardless of how we interact with the passing of time, it continues on.
As the calendar turns over to another year, it’s the perfect reminder to check ourselves. Are we using these moments well, or do we need to yet again set down the things that are holding us back and embrace the daily rituals that take us one step closer to the people that we aspire to be?
The Prodigal Son
The story of the prodigal son is a famous one because of its relatability. We’ve all acted foolishly, like the prodigal. We’ve also experienced that deep love and relief that touches us through reconciliation. While the prodigal son well known, few of us have spent time thinking about his brother.
Jesus uses the imagery of parents and sibling many times throughout his ministry. There are the two brothers who the father asks to go into the field, one who agrees and never leaves, the other that refuses but eventually goes. There are the sisters, Mary and Martha, one preoccupied with temporal things, the other ready to rest in God’s presence. All throughout the Old Testament, we see stories of siblings working together and, more often, fighting.
The prodigal son tells his father that he’s dead to him, takes his inheritance, and dibs. His brother, however, stays. We read near the end about how this “good” son stayed and worked for his father, but we also get a glimpse of the brokenness of this parental relationship. The good son is resentful when he sees how well his brother is treated upon his return. It’s almost as if he stayed with his father, but couldn’t stand to be with him.
There’s plenty more to unpack in this parable. The Bible is relatively short, so every word and image stands for more than one thing. But I think it reminds us of the relationship that God wants with us. He doesn’t just want us to pray, but to pray actively. He doesn’t want us to just go to Mass every week, but to go joyfully. He doesn’t want us to just pick up our cross, but to embrace it.
Heaven is eternal life with God, so what does it say if we would rather not spend time with Him in prayer today?
Time to Care
It’s easy, when time is tight, to cut the things that benefit us. Exercise, meal prep, prayer, these are activities that seem disposable, but are in reality the secret to our success. We’re responsible for the care of others, but we won’t be successful unless we first take the time to care for ourselves.
This is a recurring them that I’ve contended with over the past nine years, and more. The standard set of daily activities that I need to live a balanced life and be prepared for the responsibilities of my day. The life of any adult, let alone a parent, is exhausting. There are the weekly tasks like menu planning and laundry. There are the daily tasks, like meal prep and cleaning. Sprinkled in between is work, play, and so much more. Add into that managing the lives of your children, and it quickly becomes overwhelming.
I think the reason this remains so unsettled is that we hesitate to commit. It takes commitment to take care of ourselves, but the paradox is that the more that we cut into these essentials, the less we have to give. The more protected time and effort we give away to work and other things, the less we can respond to the daily needs of our families.
Like the oxygen mask on the airplane, we need to take a moment to secure our mask before we help others. The same is true for our daily lives. We must eat, pray, exercise, and relax, or we’ll be hopeless when managing the daily stresses of caring for those we love most.
True Gratitude
Thanksgiving is a remarkably calm period in my life. Not only does it signal the final few weeks of the year, but around this time, I get a palpable feeling of renewal. Major projects are winding down, and I start to ruminate on the bigger things in life. I reflect on the year that was, and start to plan for the year that is to come.
Amid this pause, we collectively take a breath and focus on gratitude. This year, my thoughts are turning more towards true gratitude. It’s simple, and right, that I should be thankful for the many helping hands in my life, or the relative peace that my family enjoys. But true gratitude goes back to the source; true gratitude orients our minds and hearts to the giver of all good gifts.
Our spiritual health functions in much the same way that our mental and a physical fitness do: all need daily attention. In a day stuffed full of commitments, we contend with the paradox of priorities. When the time comes for prayer, we feel that resistance to do something else on our list. We know the good that we ought to do, and too often choose something lesser.
Prayer isn’t about an appointment on the calendar or a time block in your day. It’s a connection with our core identity. Before He formed us, He knew us. Before we took our first breath, He knew all of our sin. Despite our failings, He chose to live and die just to be with us. He lives the deep longing of a parent to connect with their child. He patiently waits for a few moments of our day.
True gratitude is a recognition that everything that we are, and all that we have, finds its source in God’s love. Surrender to that love is the beginning of gratitude. By shifting our mindset, prayer goes from and obligation to opportunity. Prayer is a respite of calm in an ocean of chaos. The more time we spend in quiet conversation with God, the more our hearts become like His. As we draw ever nearer to Him, we experience a love that gives everything to us and for us. With that measure of wisdom, we can experience true gratitude for the many, many gifts in our lives.
Simple Truths
A common assumption is that children, because their minds are still developing, can’t process complex ideas. In trying to convey a point about something, we try to reduce it to the lowest common denominator. It’s true that children need help grasping complex subjects, but in my experience, they’re capable of much more than we give them credit for.
A child can’t explain to you how pistons fire within an engine, generating energy and torque, which is then sent to the wheels and moving a car. But they can understand and articulate how a driver pressing the gas peddle causes a response within an engine, which then moves the car. They operate at the 30,000-foot level, while adults can get much more granular.
There’s a debate in my parish about the proper sequence of sacraments for children. I’m used to the Baptism — Reconciliation — First Communion sequence, followed several years later by Confirmation. There’s another school that thinks that Confirmation and First Communion should be received together in the fourth grade. I think this misses the mark.
A second-grader can grasp the concept of the bread and wine becoming the Body and Blood of Christ. It’s a simple concept: Jesus said it was so, and so it is. Children are more disposed to accepting the basic tenants of faith because they aren’t jaded. They don’t let their personal experiences and theories get in the way. They can, as we all should, accept the reality of the Eucharist as an act of love and trust in Jesus.
A child doesn’t need to be able to explain transubstantiation to understand the majesty of the Eucharist. The simple truth is sufficient for them.
Confirmation, on the other hand, is a much bigger step. A child who receives this Sacrament accepts responsibility for their continued formation and learning. A recipient should have a solid command of basic theology, including explaining consubstantial and transubstantiation. They should be able to give a basic apologetic and know where to find answers when they need to find them.
The Church, like any human organization, tends towards bureaucracy, institutionalism, and organizational malaise. A child can accept and embrace the simple truths of our deepest mysteries. They should have the full benefit of the Eucharist at the earliest reasonable age, and not be denied years of sacramental participation simply to satisfy the theoretical musings of a few.
Enjoy Today
Living life day-to-day is not easy, nor is it simple. In many ways, it’s boring and mundane. I never look forward to Monday because I know the busyness of laundry, school, and work that awaits me. It can be easy to think of life like a game of the Sims, wishing I could just fast-forward to bedtime, call it a day, and move on to something new and different tomorrow.
Each day may not feel like a gift, but they all have little treasures buried deep inside. The way to find the treasure is to be present, and dig. It may be a funny quote from one of your kids, a completed project at work, or just one of your smallest children climbing into your lap and falling asleep.
Although days may have the same rhythm and feeling, developing a sense of awareness can help us to enjoy the experiences of today. We want to rush from task to task, project to project, and goal to goal, but that’s not the point of life.
Our lives are 3,000 days of the same general structure. It’s not the waking and sleeping that makes those days so valuable, it’s the things that happen during our waking hours that make life worth living. Spend less time focused on what’s the same, and look for the treasure that’s right in front of you.
Torrents of Mercy
We have a sanitized view of Jesus’ crucifixion. Although we have visuals of it everywhere, the sheer brutality is almost too difficult to think about. Jesus’ torture and execution were not an academic exercise. It was an act of total love and surrender, a bold statement about the dignity of the human person and the sacredness of life that changed the course of human history.
There is no limiting principle to God’s mercy; that’s one reason it is so unfathomable. How can God forgive such grievous offenses? How can He continue to put up with our habitual sin, our failure to course correct, and our inability to live the truth of the Gospel and trust in His love?
It’s because of this that I love the image of Divine Mercy. In it, mercy flows from Christ’s body, but the word that we use, _torrents_ is so descriptive. It’s not a ripple, or a wave, it’s a strong, overwhelming, gushing flow that overcomes everything in its path.
Why is it necessary for this mercy to flow with such vigor? It’s because God understands us intimately; He lived as one of us. He knows the challenges that we face, and the courage required to live the life that He made us for. Think about just a few of the things we’re asked to do. As parents, we’re to care for and raise new life. We have to help our children navigate a broken world, to discover their moral compass, and to internalize the importance of a relationship with God.
We are tested, tempted, and tried in almost every moment of the day. God Himself knew this reality. That’s why, out of the depths of His love and through His own genius, He made this mercy available for us, if only we are to ask of it.
Building a strong habit of prayer is an excellent offense in overcoming our natural weaknesses, but perfection is just not possible. When we fail, we must pray for the humility to be completely inundated with the torrents of God’s mercy.
Constant Renewal
The great spiritual lesson of St. Francis was that the key to a healthy spiritual life is to have a mindset of constant renewal. We live in a fallen state, among a fallen world, and to enter into the presence of God, we must reclaim the perfection that He intended for us. That is no easy task, nor is it a one-and-done type of objective. It’s the work of a lifetime.
Impermanence is the nature of life; things are always in motion and changing. Embracing a mindset of constant renewal inspires a sense of exhaustion, but also one of hope. When we set out with a new goal, it’s all too easy to plan out every single step, become overwhelmed, and give up on the entire project. It’s also easy to become inspired and hopeful, no longer feeling trapped in your current reality.
Constant renewal is a principle that can help us in our daily decisions. When you wake up in the morning, and you know you should spend a few minutes in prayer, it can guide you into your prayer space. It can remind you of your goal, and lead you into the steps and habits that will get you there. It will give you the grace to fail, knowing that you won’t be defined by your past mistakes.
We seek comfort and stability in a world that’s continually changing. Victories once won can be frittered away by quitting the habits and discipline that got us there. The great paradox in all of this is that by submitting ourselves to discipline and diligence, we are truly free to live the lives that God intended for us.
Overrun
Temptation is a very personal thing. Each of us struggle with our blend of habitual sin. It’s not that we’re failures in the spiritual life, it’s that we all have our weaknesses. After weeks, months, and years of confessing the same things, it’s tempting to let ourselves be overrun.
Why keep fighting a losing battle? Why keep going through the same cycle, never with a different result? Why fight a battle for 80 years when it seems like we’ll never beat that sin?
The answer is found in our failings. The battle has already been fought, and won. The battle is not ours to fight, it is God’s. Why should we accept our reality as his children, and then resign ourselves to lesser things? We were made for greatness, and we were made to be loved.
The feeling of being overrun with sin is a tool of the devil. As CS Lewis masterfully illustrated in _The Screwtape Letters_, if we can be simply worn down to the point of giving up, then darkness wins. While we may feel overrun, we can never be made to give up. That’s a choice that we have to make ourselves.
For the first time in my life, I’ve successfully kept to a “Bible in a Year” reading plan. The Old Testament is shockingly graphic, full of the best and worst of humanity. The brilliance of it all is that the story of the people of Israel is our story. We are close to God, and at other times, we cast Him off. Despite it all, He remains faithful.
Never give up, never surrender; finish the race and win.