Philosophy
Turn Off the News
Since late last summer, I’ve had a subscription to the Wall Street Journal. It’s my first newspaper subscription, having before gotten the majority of news from websites. I must say, there have been a lot of unexpected difference in the print news as opposed to digital news. I’ve grown to hate 24 hour news networks.
Getting most news updates about once per day feels like the right amount of updates. While news is always breaking, not everything deserves my attention. While news stories are constantly evolving, a 24 hour break in between checking up on stories allows reporters to gather facts instead of reporting on speculation. Another highlighted benefit of reading print news is that instead of always being reactionary, reporting on stories as they happen, they’re proactive. Reporters are doing in-depth studies on issues, investigations into topics, and frankly, breaking stories through original content.
When I compare the news reported in newspapers and the news reported on 24 hour networks and websites, there’s really no comparison. Digital news is a disaster.
Too often, websites and networks, under pressure to feed content to the masses, will report on something, anything. They’ll embellish stories, report inaccuracies, and just do an all around poor job of news reporting. Since they don’t have enough hard news to report and don’t do many in-depth studies, they have to stuff fluff pieces into their news. They’ll report on celebrity gossip, they’ll overreport someone’s meltdown, or they’ll bring you live coverage of a ballon over a desert, a musicians funeral, or continually report on shark attacks, although there isn’t necessarily a higher incidence at that particular time.
Of course, there’s plenty of fear and speculation laced into every story. We’re filled with anxiety about epidemics that will never reach our shores en mass, we stress over who our next president will be when it won’t be decided for 18 months, and we worry over the impact of court cases that won’t be decided for years. 24 hour news is bad for your health.
The best way to get your news, in my opinion, is through a newspaper. There’s something about the experience of having your paper delivered or picking it up daily. There’s something about feeling the paper in your hand and reading a story that you know has been through several rounds of editing, not reporting based on someone’s tweet five minutes ago. We just don’t have any justifiable need for constant updates. A newspaper, with a set publication schedule, has time to gather facts and present actual news, not just conjecture.
If you find that 24 hour news is overwhelming you or is reporting things that just aren’t news, turn it off.
Make Time to Read
There are limitless ways for us to use our free time during the day, but most activities leave us feeling empty. Watching a TV show can be entertaining in the moment, but when the moment has passed, it’s plain to see that nothing really impacted you during the previous half hour. The plot may have been captivating and some of the lines may have even elicited laughs during the broadcast. Yet, once the credits start rolling, you’re back to your life right where you were before you started watching.
Time is invaluable. By choosing to do something truly meaningful when you have some free time in your schedule you can have a meaningful experience that will be lasting. Sinking an hour into TV a day isn’t bad, sinking hours into TV every day is.
One of the activities that I’ve found to have an immediate and lasting impact is reading. Growing up, my parents reinforced the importance of reading by setting aside 30 minutes in the evening where we’d all retreat to our corner of the house and dive into a book. Perhaps my greatest regret from college was the fact that I didn’t read as much as I could have.
When you take time every day and dedicate it to reading, even big books can be tackled. Books are more than a constructive activity, they’re a gateway. New ideas, fun escapes, and food for your imagination all come from books. If you want to grow as a person, reading is the best way to do it.
A habit of reading will expand your mind. Not only does reading allow you to explore virtually any topic, the vocabulary of a well written book will expand the number of words at your command. No matter what your interests are, with millions of books in print and circulation, you can find a book that interests you. When you’ve read that book, find another. Reading is a lifelong activity that won’t go out of style and you’ll never bore of it. Certainly there will be books that you don’t like, but in those cases, you can simply put one down and pick up another.
If you’re on a budget, then reading is the hobby for you! Reading is free. It doesn’t cost you a dime. In fact, you don’t even have to own a single book in order to source copious amounts of reading material. Your local library has tens of thousands of volumes and access to millions more through inter-library agreements. Even better, so few people use the library in our modern era that there’s little competition for books. If you don’t want to go the library route, I’m sure you have a bookcase or two in your home full of books you’ve never read. If you don’t, your friends and family do. Getting access to books isn’t all that difficult and by utilizing the resources of your library, friends, and family, you’ll continue to discover new works.
Reading grows you as a person in new ways. When we consider formal education, especially when you get to the higher levels, courses are mainly guided by reading. Certainly math may be the exception to that rule, but by and large, college is nothing more than reading books in a group and discussing them. That means that anyone can be smart. It doesn’t take a college or graduate level education to be wise and well informed. Books are written by experts in a particular field, meaning you can learn concepts and ideas directly from experts. Reading helps you to explore new worlds and better understand the one that you live in.
Best of all, reading doesn’t require a significant amount of time. 30 minutes a day, the time recommended by my parents all those years ago, is enough to make significant progress. With a small investment of 30 minutes a day you’ll read more books than you ever have. I’ve found it’s best to read in the 30 minutes or hour before bed. It winds down my mind and helps with melatonin production. I’ve noticed a significant difference in time to fall asleep when I read before bed.
Most Americans, after finishing their formal education, will not read a single book for pleasure. If your mind isn’t growing, it’s regressing. Save 30 minutes a day, go somewhere comfortable, and read a good book.
Don’t Press Snooze
I have three layers of alarms each morning. My Fitbit has 3 silent alarms scheduled each morning for 4:55am, 4:57am, and 4:59am. At those times, it vibrates on my arm until I press a button to dismiss it. At 5:00am the lights in my bedroom slowly come on. Finally, as a fail-safe, at 5:05am, a very loud, and very annoying, alarm on my phone goes off. Most days, all I need is the Fitbit. Some days, I need the lights to help. On a rare occasion, my phone is there to save the day from getting away from me.
Three layers may seem excessive, but no matter how many sounds, utilities, or devices seek to disrupt a very peaceful sleep in a warm bed, it’s up to me what I do with their alarms. I might spring out of bed and get straight to work, or I might silence them all until around 7:30am when Benedict’s cries for food and attention stir me. There’s no silencing a Benedict alarm.
About 90% of the time, I’m up at 5:00am each day. My entire daily routine is based on a 9:00pm-5:00am sleep schedule. That’s adequate sleep for me, keeps me healthy, productive, and can usually preserve my energy levels so I don’t feel the need to nap later in the day. When I sleep past 5:00am, I waste opportunity.
Sleep is a wonderful thing and based on the numerous posts that I’ve written about sleep, no one can accuse me of discounting its value. Sleep is intrinsically valuable and has a lot to say about how successful any given day will be for you. At the same time, it’s easily abused. We can get lazy and stay in bed most of the day. It’s tempting to oversleep or “catch up” on lost sleep, but oversleeping often ends up just being a waste of time. Get what you need and no more. There’s so much you could be doing!
Morning is a fabulous opportunity. Whether you’re a morning person or not, when you first get out of bed, your brain is full of creative power and your batteries are fully charged. As time progresses, you lose creative power and energy. Logically, that means that your biggest chance to make a splash, your biggest opportunity for productivity is at the beginning of your day, not the end. Lost minutes, whether to sleep or frittered away doing meaningless tasks, add up. Think of all of the great things you could accomplish if you were awake and energized in the morning, instead of snoozing.
Let’s face facts; one tap of the snooze button is never just one tap. It’s never just five more minutes. The snooze button is your biggest enemy in the morning. When you surrender once, it becomes that much easier to surrender again. And again. And again. When you hear your alarm go off in the morning, assuming you’ve planned your day around your wakeup time and have given yourself ample time to sleep, get up, get out there, and seize the day!
Sleep is a wonderful thing, and like other wonderful things, it’s healthy in moderation. Don’t surrender to the tyranny of sleep, keeping you in bed during your most productive hours. The best way to take advantage of each day is to go to sleep at the right time and wake up at the right time. Don’t believe the lie that the snooze button is telling you.
Have Clear Motivations
There are a lot of things that I’d like to do. Almost every day, I get a new idea for some project or goal that I’d like to work on. It might be an area of my life or schedule that I want to improve, such as incorporating more reading time for Benedict. It might be a new book idea or some new app. All of these ideas are inspiring in the moment and really quite appealing. I’m often tempted to change direction or course and to charge at this new idea. After a few hours or a few days, most of the ideas subside and I’m left with the ones that really mean something to me.
Too often we set plans based on emotion. We don’t know why we’re doing something, only that we’re getting something out of it. It might be a feeling of fulfillment, a feeling of purpose, or actually seeing a positive result from our action. The problem with emotions is that they aren’t sustainable.
New Years resolutions, marriages, self-improvement plans and other things of this nature, when fueled solely by emotion, often flicker out before the end result is achieved. There’s a clear difference between emotion and passion. Emotion is fickle and can change based on little more than one’s mood. Passion comes from somewhere deep inside. Passion is the driver that doesn’t know that there’s a brake pedal. Emotion is the driver going 25 in 65. Emotion is cautious because even it knows its state is fragile.
When you embark on any major project, on any major goal, or even as you live out your vocation, there’s one distinct feature that, if you possess it, will catapult you into the world of success. You must have clear motivations.
If you don’t understand deeply why you’re doing something, you won’t have the energy to push through the difficult times. If you don’t understand deeply why you married your wife, in 5 years when things are very difficult, looking for an exit might be unduly tempting. If you don’t understand deeply why you decided to lose 20 lbs, every time you’re faced with dessert, you’ll grow weaker until you finally cave and go back to your old ways.
Determining your motivations is more easily said than done. Like the layers of an onion, you usually need to go a few layers deeper. Let’s look at an example. Let’s say that Timmy is getting ready to propose to his girlfriend of two years. Wisely, he’s taking the time to ensure that this is the right decision for both him and for his girlfriend. So, he sits down and tries to determine what his motivations for proposing will be. Here’s what he writes down.
Layer 1: I love her.
Layer 2: We get along well.
Layer 3: We have many of the same interests.
Layer 4: She encourages me to be a better person.
Layer 5: My friends and family think we make a good match.
Layer 6: She understands me better than anyone I’ve met before.
Layer 7: I feel a great sense of peace when considering that she might be my vocation.
Layer 8: I want our love to extend beyond us and into our children and their children’s children.
As you can see, Timmy worked from a very low level emotional reaction (Layer 1) all the way down to the definition of marriage (Layer 8). As he explored his motivations deeper, he came up with 8 excellent, progressively better motivations for proposing. I’d say that if his girlfriend has similar motivations, they’re going to have a very solid foundation for their marital relationship.
Writing down and saving your motivations will be helpful when times get difficult. When you no longer feel like running, or writing, or learning a new skill, you can quickly refer to that list and recapture that sense of excitement. Another great idea is to share your motivations with your wife. Not only will a 2nd set of eyes help you determine if you’re on the right track, she can be your cheerleader. Just the other day Alison paid me a very nice compliment that encouraged me to stay focused during the day with my writing.
Success and failure are ultimately up to us. If we have clear motivations and passion for what we’re doing, there’s nothing that we can’t accomplish.
End Month One
If you can believe it, we’ve already reached January 30th. Yes, just 30 short days ago we all experienced the hope, newness, and excitement of the New Year! I, along with pretty much the rest of the Internet, talked about some strategies for setting goals and making this your best year yet!
Now things are getting real. You either had an awesome January that kept you on track, or you fell off the wagon somewhere along the way. As we bring the month to a close, it begs the simple questions: How’d you do?
A year is a long time. 365 days makes it easy for us to lose focus on the six things we’re trying to do. Excuses come easily and, well, skipping just one day won’t hurt. One day becomes two, two days becomes a week, and soon the task is all but forgotten.
Our calendar doesn’t just offer us one big reset every 365 days. It offers us a monthly reset every 30 days or so. It offers us a weekly reset every Sunday. It offers us a daily reset every morning when our feet hit the floor. It offers us an hourly reset when the clock turns over. Time is always slipping away, but it’s always presenting new opportunities to start fresh.
Goal setting, self-improvement, spiritual improvement, and any general action that moves you towards a better you isn’t about 365 days of perfection. It’s about getting out there and winning today. I don’t know if I’ll be able to run tomorrow, but I can run today. So I do. I don’t know if I’ll find the time to pray the rosary tomorrow, but I have 15 minutes right now. So I do. I don’t know if I’ll want to read this book tomorrow, but I can read it right now. So I do.
Time is very fluid, don’t build artificial dams. Dust yourself off, reset your mindset, refocus, and do better next month, starting today.
Motivate Yourself
2015-01-16
The New Year is always a popular time for fitness goals. Setting a fitness goal for yourself in 2015 is a brilliant idea. Your goals should encompass all areas of your life and physical health is one of the most important. Your overall health affects all other areas of your life, so making choices to improve it are a wise investment. The thing about your goals is that you need to do more than set them. You need to work on them.
My biggest disappointment this year, in terms of the success of my goals, was my failure to reach my weight goal. Certainly I had a lot of challenges to overcome, especially with the move, and I got within 7 lbs of making it, but now I’m just about back to where I was on January 1, 2014 and 14 lbs from my goal. I started this weight loss journey in January 2012 when I got on the scale and it read 197. As a part of the process I’ve learned that weight loss requires not only tremendous discipline, but also patience. It takes time and effort over time. I also recognize that it will always require work and that, even if I hit my goal, I run the risk of gaining it all back.
Weight loss is just like our overall health. We have to be always working at it in order to keep it. That means monitoring our intake and ensuring that we get outside and stretch our legs from time to time. Controlling your diet and exercise can help control many illnesses and medical conditions, so there is added benefit, in addition to feeling at your best.
You need to take care of yourself and, frankly, no one else can. The best motivation comes from within, so if you’re fired up to get in shape, then you’ll make it. If someone else is fired up for you, it’ll be an uphill climb that you never complete. That’s where our 2015 goals come in. So many people set fitness goals in the New Year, only to fizzle out by February, if they’re lucky. There is a subset of the population who do endure and make lasting changes. Their secret? They’re motivated because they know that no one else can do it for them and that having your physical health is better than eating a doughnut or watching TV.
Goals on paper are nice, and science proves that written goals are more likely to be accomplished. At the end of the day, you have to decide to put them in action.
In 2015, do things a little differently. Write down 7 goals for your life across the following areas: physical, spiritual, intellectual, career, financial, social, and family. You can opt out of one or two categories, but setting goals across these areas will help you grow as a whole, not just one part of you. Once you have your goals, write 4 action steps per goal, with due dates, to help you break it down and keep moving forward. 2015 has the potential to be your best year yet, but only if you plan for it.
My 2015 Goals
The New Year is here! 2014 is over and gone and 2015 has officially arrived.
I love the newness and promise of a new year. It’s a blank canvas, a clean slate, and the perfect opportunity to turn a new leaf.
While those who’ve made New Years Resolutions face dismal chances for success, those who’ve made goals have every reason to be optimistic.
A few days ago, I finally sat down and came up with goals for both my personal and professional life. I want to share them with you in a moment, but first, I need to get some closure with my 2014 goals.
Professionally, 2014 was a huge year. I started working as a writer full time, and, as a result, I was able to publish both my first and second book. The community response was awesome and I’m well on my way to being self-sufficient. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to reach my multi-year goal of shipping an iOS app. It’s been a goal of mine for at least 2 years, and this year just wasn’t it. I’ve decided in 2015 to make it my #1 focus and I think I have a strategy, and idea, to finally get me across the finish line.
Personally, I also had some mixed results. I didn’t make my weight goal (though I came close!) and I didn’t reach my podcasting benchmarks. I did significantly increase my prayer life and was pretty consistent with reading, but I could have done much better.
2014 definitely was a year of upheaval and although I had some really big wins, I fell short of where I wanted to be standing today. I think my biggest failure was not reviewing my goals regularly. If I had, I would have been better able to keep my eye on the prize and modified my daily habits to get me there.
Ok, with that, I’m closing 2014 and I’m fully engaged in 2015.
Here’s what I’m working on professionally this year.
While 2014 was about expanding the Catholic Husband product line, 2015 is going to be about refining it. I want to make the Catholic Husband blog the very best blog on the internet by publishing engaging, relevant, and extremely valuable content. Expect great things and for each blog to be better than the last. I want to do the same with the Podcast. By consistently providing outstanding content, I want to expand the Catholic Husband reach and help even more people!
I’m also going to launch my first iOS app later this year. I’m excited about getting this done and I have all of the resources that I need to do it. All I have to do is buckle up and get into student mode. Finally, I have a certain number of books and apps that I want to sell in order to make Catholic Husband completely self-sufficient.
Personally, this is going to be the year I reach my weight goal and I have a solid plan of how to do it. I’ll be training for my first half-marathon, so that training, along with aggressively keeping a food journal and walking at least 10,000 steps per day will help me reach this 2012 goal by September. I’m aiming to lose 2.5 lbs per month. Intellectually, I want to dedicate 30 minutes per day reading a book and complete two books per month. Financially, I have a dollar amount of debt that I want to payoff with Alison. It’s a stretch, but attainable if we stay on target with our budgeting.
While it seems like a lot, I have a total of 4 professional goals and 3 personal goals. In addition to these 7 goals, I have a few “focus areas” that aren’t goal specific, but areas that I want to improve, like having a more regular game night scheduled.
I’ve put these goals into a system in Evernote and will read them daily and track progress reports weekly. This will help me stay aware of my progress and make course corrections as they come.
This is an exciting time of year and I can’t wait to be here January 1, 2016, sharing my successes and celebrating a successful 2015!
Why Resolutions Fail
We’re very rapidly approaching 2015 and with it, the onslaught of New Year’s Resolutions. Year after year, people make promises to themselves that invariably collapse by January 15th. Why don’t resolutions work?
I love the New Year and the freshness that comes with it. A new year provides a fresh canvas and the perfect framework for setting long term goals. Each year, near the end of November, I evaluate how the past year went and make concrete decisions about what things I want to focus on for the next year. Many goals roll over, since they fell too low on the priority scale, and others I get to celebrate big wins from.
The main reason why resolutions fail is because they’re not planned for.
We say we’ll start exercising again, but that’s all that we say. There’s no plan. We say we’ll save money, but we don’t draw up a budget. We invest in all sorts of tools, but ignore the fact that complexity creates barriers.
If you’re looking for a successful 2015, here’s what you need. First, you need the “why” of what you’re doing. So many times, we have the “what.” Lose weight. Save money But we don’t have the why. The why is the deeply rooted convictions that are driving these goals. They’re the things that will get us out of bed when it’s cold or will get us to pass on the cookies at the grocery store.
Next, you need to think manageable. “Lose weight” isn’t manageable, nor is “lose 40 lbs.” You don’t have to set your ultimate goal right now, but you can set incremental goals. So you could start the year with, “Lose 10% of body weight.” Then, once you hit that target, set your next one.
Finally, you need to figure this out before December 31st. New Year’s Eve is a terrible time to start figuring out what you want to do. You want to wake up on January 1st and hit the ground running! Plus, if you’re making lifestyle changes, getting a head start could be just the boost that you need to really make things stick in 2015.
Life will happen to you if you don’t happen to it. Take some time to jot down your goals for 2015 and get ready to hit it hard on January 1st.
What to Do When Your Want to Add Something New
Time is finite. Each day, we have just 24 hours to spend on our pursuits. Between 6 and 8 of those hours are dedicated to sleep, leaving us about 16 waking hours. How we spend that time directly impacts our lives and the lives of those around us.
As life progresses, there are always new activities that we want to take on. Our interests change and, while we decide to abandon some pursuits, we find new ones that interest us. Despite our changing desires, the one thing that doesn’t change is the amount of time that we have to allocate.
More likely than not, you’ll find yourself in a position where you’ll want to add something new without taking anything away. In those cases, what do you do?
The best thing to do is ask yourself the tough questions.
• Is this more important than something else?
• Is this worth waking up earlier?
• Is this worth going to bed later?
While it can be very easy to whitewash the answers, the most sure guide is to test the change. Make a decision about the changes that you’ll need to undergo and then give them a try.
The results of a test are a better guide than any series of questions. Tests give you actual answers that are completely truthful. Answers to questions can be swayed by bias.
Managing your schedule is a perpetual balance. By being proactive, you can strike the right one.
The Power of Discipline
In the moment, discipline is never pleasant. Once the occasion has passed, we all love its benefits. Discipline is the difference between a complete success and an utter failure.
I’ve struggled with discipline from time-to-time in my life. Usually it’s right at the beginning of something. In a weird sort of way, I’ve come to appreciate it. I appreciate the power of discipline and what it can do in my life.
Discipline can get you anywhere that you want to go. Whether it’s a weight loss goal, a promotion at work, or growth in the spiritual life, discipline is a key element for success.
It really is like a muscle. You have to build it up, and it takes time to do so. Discipline is grown one choice at a time.
If you’ll persevere, if you’ll continue to grow this muscle, you’ll be unstoppable. Any task, any objective, or any goal can be attained if you’ll simply apply discipline.