Faith
Mass Journal
What would it be like if at every Mass you attended, you had a breakthrough moment? What would it be like if at every Mass something impacted you in a way that you really needed. Perhaps it would be some inspiration in a time of darkness or some encouragement for your life? Adopting the habit of a Mass Journal could be the game changer for you.
Last month, Alison, Benedict, and I loaded up the car and drove to Ohio for my cousin’s wedding. It was about a 6 hour drive. We had plans to drive back home on Sunday afternoon after going to Mass. Benedict was pretty fussy at Mass, so he and I stood in the back so he could calm down. While there, I saw one of those Lighthouse Media Catholic CD stands. I’m sure you’ve seen one at your parish, too. We thought it might be good to pick out one of the CDs for the ride home. We chose a talk by Matthew Kelly.
In the talk, Matthew talked about the use of a Mass Journal. He advocated that if we’d use this tool, after one year we’d have the most powerful spiritual resource that we could get a hold of. I was inspired, so I adopted the practice.
A Mass Journal is just that, a journal. Each time you go to Mass, Matthew suggests the following simple prayer, “God, show me one way in this Mass I can become a better version of myself this week.” Then, expect God to talk to you.
The real power of the Mass Journal is that you become a very active listener. I find myself attentively paying attention to everything (homily and all!) looking for that one thing that I need to hear.
In the month or two since I’ve taken up the habit, I haven’t been let down. I’ve found real spiritual growth in my life. It’s always the right message that I need to hear on that particular week.
It’s easy to get started. Simply get a journal, take it to Mass, and write down the one thing that strikes you most. When I started, I used a journaling app on my phone. I felt really awkward using my phone in Church, so getting a physical journal is really important for making this work.
Mass shouldn’t happen to us. Be an active participant and an active listener to God’s Word in your life. Use a Mass Journal. It just might make you a better husband.
How to Ease into Daily Prayer
Any time you try to establish a new habit, the best implementation is gradual. If you start too quick, you’ll peter out. If you start too slow, you’ll lose interest and move on. The approach that will give you the best results is one that eases you into the habit.
I’m extremely goal oriented, so when I set a goal, I want to charge at it. For most goals, it’s the appropriate response. Having tenacity and confidence is extremely helpful. However, for things like adopting a habit of exercise or daily prayer, it can be all wrong. I’ve learned that, especially with prayer, it’s more important to begin with a simple routine of high quality prayer time.
When you decide to begin a daily prayer routine, start by asking yourself 4 simple questions.
• Where am I? An accurate and up-to-date self-evaluation of your spiritual life can be tremendously helpful. If you’ve been away from prayer for a while, you’ll need to adjust your plans for that. If there is a particular form of prayer that you find difficult, you’ll want to avoid that type of prayer. By better choosing your starting point, you’ll have a better chance of making significant progress.
• How much time do I have? You have a number of commitments on your time. Between family, work, and friends, you have a lot going on. God isn’t asking you to drop all of that. He’s asking to be added to your list. So, by figuring out how much time you do have that you can devote to prayer, you can come up with a list of prayerful activities. If you have an hour daily, perhaps daily Mass could make it on your list. If you literally only have 15 minutes, a Rosary or spiritual reading will do.
• Can I find more time somewhere else? Time is all about priorities. If something is important enough to us, we’ll find the time to make it happen. If you find yourself only able to give 15 minutes to prayer, where in your schedule can you free up more time? Is there something you can cancel? Is there something you can limit? Can you wake up earlier or go to bed a little later?
• What does success look like? This all-important part of goal setting is too often ignored. Instead of defining success, we define failure. So, let’s get this one right. What does a successful daily prayer habit look like to you?
Starting a daily prayer habit is an excellent first step in the spiritual life. Start reasonable, start gradually, but above all, START!
What if We Lived the Way We Ought?
When did being pious start being perceived as pretentious?
Benedict has recently gotten onto a very structured sleep-wake-play schedule. This change has allowed me to bring structure back into my own life. As a result, we’ve been able to establish a solid daily prayer routine. As I’ve experienced the profound joy in my life through this change, I found myself hesitant to share. I wasn’t ashamed, I just didn’t want people to roll their eyes at me.
We should never be ashamed of winning at the spiritual life. In fact, living a holy and pious life is the way we ought to live. It’s the only real way to live. We’re supposed to live in Communion with God. We’re supposed to be full of faith and charity.
Living the life that you ought to live begins with a daily prayer routine. It’s more than just a few minutes at the beginning of the day. It’s a habit. It’s regular. It’s taking the time throughout the day to pray, to remind yourself of the love of God. That’s what a true routine is. Not anything massive, nothing groundbreaking, nothing new, just a simple habit of regularly talking to God.
What’s more important than our own spiritual growth is the witness we give to those around us. Your example of prayer and holiness might inspire someone who will ultimately convert, it might inspire your wife, it might even inspire your children.
If you’re living the way you ought to, never be afraid to share the joy that you’ve found. Be bold!
Get Off the Broken Road
Our spiritual walk is a marathon, not a sprint. That means that there are going to be a lot of times when you’re doing things right, and a lot of times when you’re not quite on point.
I’ve had an evolving relationship with the Sacrament of Confession over the past decade. There have been a few years where it wasn’t a priority for me. There were a few months where I was going weekly. These days I’m averaging about once per month. As I’ve frequented the Sacrament more regularly, I’ve noticed real changes in my life.
Let’s face it, going to Confession is pretty inconvenient. Either the Parish offers it once per week for about 32.5 seconds, or it’s offered almost every day and the lines are impossible. Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, here are some things to think about when it comes to Confession.
• Confession is a reminder of the vastness of God’s love. Have you ever had a friend or family member screw up and you gave them a second chance, only to see them blow it again? Imagine if they were on their 1,000th chance, and they still blew it. That’s us. We sin, we go to Confession, we resolve to do better. Repeat. The sins really don’t change that much. Despite our best resolution, we sin again. Yet, each time, God forgives. He accepts our insufficient apology. He knows we’re going to hurt Him again, but He’s so invested in this relationship, He’s so confident that we’ll make it in the end, that He hits that reset button one more time.
• Every sin has a cause.I like to think of sin as a chain. You start with a very innocent act. Then, that weakness contributes to the next sin, another link. If you play the game long enough, you have a really long chain and end up in the realm of mortal sin. At any point, you can break the chain. Depending on how far along the chain you are, the bigger the bolt cutters you’ll need. As you get deeper into sin, you start to despair and think that nothing can stop you from going further. That’s the lie of sin. When you pray, expect something to happen.
• Every sin has an effect.We think of sin as being a very personal thing. We don’t often share our failures with people in our lives. Yet, it effects those around us. Sin robs us of charity, which is our ability to love. For example, when I commit sins of pride, I feel myself being less patient with Alison and Benedict. There are very real consequences to sin not just in the next life, but in this one, here, today.
• Confession takes away the power of sin. Sin is very much like mold, it thrives in the dark. When you expose mold to sunlight, it dies. When you carry around the burden of your sins, they grow like the proverbial monster in the closet. It almost takes on a new life. Then it starts running your life and keeping you in fear. There’s only one way to defeat sin: name it. When you go to the Sacrament and tell Christ, out loud, the names of your sins and the number of times you committed them, you have a real, “My name is Legion” moment. You realize how real sin is and how devastating its effects are. Confession gives you the ability to undercut sin and steal its power.
Above all, the point of the Sacrament is to give us the graces and opportunity to reform our lives. If we don’t make concrete changes in our lives to do better with our new chance, then we’ve made a huge mistake. We’re given this incredible opportunity to start over each time we receive the Sacrament, we really ought to make the tough changes so we don’t end up suffering from Confession Repeat Syndrome.
You know what leads you to sin, you know what the links in your chain are. Break them.
Be Merciful
We all love mercy when we’re the recipient. When we’re the giver, however, it’s much more difficult.
I’m both intrigued and terrified by Benedict. I’m intrigued that he is constantly learning, even though he can’t verbalize his experiences in English. I’m terrified that he’s already learning from my example. As I continually consider what things I want to highlight for him, the subject of mercy comes up.
I’m a frequent sinner and consequently I’m frequently in line for Confession. Each time I go to the Sacrament, I receive a ridiculous amount of mercy that I in no way merit and, for good measure, within a week or two, I’m back in line. Yet, because I am a child of God and because He desires a relationship with me, He continues to forgive and I get another chance to get it right.
There’s an amazing lesson in that mystery. God desires a relationship with me so deeply that He’s willing to forgive my numerous offenses. We all need a little more of that.
It’s terribly sad when parents and children aren’t talking because of something that happened years ago. It’s terribly sad when marriages break up because of a serious breach of trust. It’s terribly sad when someone leaves the Church because they can’t reconcile with some teaching.
We all experience serious breaches of trust. We all experience betrayal. We all experience disappointment in relationships. Yet, we’re supposed to be merciful. We’re supposed to extend the olive branch. We desire to be in relationship with the person who hurt us. Do we want it deeply enough to overlook offenses?
Are you merciful with your wife?
Are you merciful with your kids?
Are you merciful with your friends?
Are you merciful with your coworkers?
Are you merciful with yourself?
The great thing about mercy is its intrinsic healing properties. Mercy fosters trust. A broken trust starts to heal, even if slowly, when mercy is given. Mercy fosters love. When you receive mercy or extend it, you get a glimpse into the heart of God. Mercy fosters peace. Mercy ends conflict and brings harmony.
The next time you’re in a position where someone hurts you, extend mercy so that you both might experience its beauty.
Be A Saint, Now
I think that we have a pretty unhealthy view of Heaven. I’d venture to guess that most Catholics, myself included, take the St. Augustine view… “Lord make me holy, but not yet.” How different would our lives be, how different would our marriages be, if we instead took the approach, “Lord, make me holy now."
Alison and I have found a rich little Catholic community here in Northern Virginia. It’s really pretty incredible. Our parish is vibrant and the homilies are choice. One of the running themes over the past several weeks, thanks mainly to this year’s Gospel cycle, is the universal call to holiness. In combination with the recent canonizations and persecutions, the message is loud and clear, “You don’t have to wait until you’re old to be a saint!"
We like to think of sainthood as something lofty, as we should. Yet, we take it a step further and think it’s reserved for a select few. It’s true that out of all of human history, a very small percentage of people are canonized. At the same time, the Church’s teachings are clear: there are untold numbers of people who are in Heaven (saints) that the Church hasn’t canonized. The purpose of canonization is not to separate the wheat from the chaff, it’s to hold up examples to the Church here on earth. The purpose of canonization is to celebrate our participation in Salvation History. Canonized saints are just a few examples of regular people who lived their lives right.
We all have difficulties and struggles in the spiritual life. Those challenges tend to spill over into other areas of our lives. This is normal, as we are integrated people. You can’t separate the spirituality from the intellect from the sexuality of a human person. So when we’re living our lives in a way that will lead us to sainthood, other aspects of our lives get better. We have better days, richer relationships, and more peace and joy. When we stray, everything gets a bit worse.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
The decision to be a saint is made today.
Sainthood is a culmination of a life of service and sacrifice. Our modern saints are an excellent example of this. Saint John Paul II’s entire life embodied these two principles. He subverted the Nazis, destroyed Communism, taught us about the beauty of human sexuality and showed us a witness of love through terminal illness. He showed us that no life is unimportant, no life is expendable, no one is replaceable.
He didn’t wake up one morning and have the fortitude and tenacity to challenge power. His daily decision to follow Christ from a young age prepared him for the mission he was called to live.
It’s never too late. It’s never too late to start following Christ. Today’s the day you start. Today’s the day you start living the life you were supposed to live. Today’s the day you start your journey towards sainthood.
True joy comes from living in the Law. It’s like following the owners manual for your car. The closer you follow the manual, the better your ride drives.
Man up. Start today. Start small. Start at home. And let your children “catch you.”
Pray and Don’t Worry
Prayer and worry are incompatible. If you pray and then worry, your prayer is cancelled out. Prayer is the first step of faith.
One of my favorite parts about being Catholic is how deep and wide the Church is. Whether it be expressions of faith or even theology, there’s always something new to discover. Over the past few months as Alison and I have made the move to Washington, DC and started new jobs, I’ve done a lot of worrying. It’s not just that things are different or that they’re new, it’s that we’ve never lived through a transition like this together and we just don’t know what’s going to happen next or if our plans are realistic.
Since God, like any good parent, doesn’t like to waste any opportunities for teaching moments, I’ve noticed that my faith has gotten pretty weak. I believe, but I don’t completely trust.
What is faith? Faith is trust. It’s trust in God that His Word is true. The popular phrase is “Let go and let God.” I agree that we need to let go, but it’s easier said than done.
We’re active participants in Salvation History. If by “letting go and letting God” I sit on my couch all day, nothing will get done. I’m God’s hands, His feet, His mouth. We’re an active part of the plan. We can truly only be a part of the plan if we have a relationship with Him.
I once heard a priest say that we put more faith in Tylenol than we do in the Eucharist. He reasoned that when we take Tylenol, we expect something to happen. Yet, when we receive the Eucharist, in all of it’s miraculous mystery and bundle of graces, we expect nothing. That’s a crisis of faith.
When you pray, something happens. When you pray the rosary, something happens. When you go spend a few minutes in quiet Adoration, something happens.
We don’t want to be presumptuous and we don’t want to put God to the test. But faith isn’t doing either of those things. Faith is trusting in God’s Word. God told us that the Eucharist has untold graces available to those who are open to them. The Rosary has literally changed the course of history. The exposed Blessed Sacrament has brought about untold miracles. So by reverently receiving the Eucharist or praying with our whole hearts, we need to trust Him and expect something to happen, because it will.
Knowing all of this, knowing the amazing events in human history that have been drastically affected by prayer, pray with confidence. If prayer can close an abortion clinic, it can help you. If prayer can bring down Communism, it can help you. If prayer can stop the Ottoman Empire from turning the Basilica of St. Peter into a mosque, it can help you.
Worry is wasted energy and time. Spend that time in prayer and then trust that God will give you the help and the graces that you need to finally make it home.
Meet A Saint
We’re card carrying members of the Communion of Saints. While we spend quite a bit of time rubbing elbows with fellow members on this planet, how much time do we spend kicking it with members who’ve made it across the finish line?
Earlier this year, I came across a suggestion for my spiritual life: make friends with a new saint. I have my usual suspects, the saints I know and ask for their intercession. What about the tons of other saints, who have more in common with me than I may think? As a good friend jokingly used to say, “Popular saints have people bugging them all of the time. Pick an obscure saint, they’ve got all the time in the world for you."
Making new friends can be fun. We should take the time to make some new saint friends. Saints are approachable. Remember, the difference between us and them is that they’ve successfully finished the race, while we’re still running it. They had the same temptations, the same miserable failures, the same glorious triumphs. They had the same crazy Aunt Susan and intolerable classmates.
You can find a new saint using any number of criteria. Look for the patron of your occupation or your native land. Maybe it’s a hobby, a challenge you’re facing, or even a nice vacation spot. If you can think it up, the Church probably has a guy (or gal) for you.
Plan on meeting with your new saints monthly. Chat, explore, learn. Much more than monthly and you’ll probably give up… monthly feels just right, for now.
Saints can be powerful advocates for us here in the Church militant. Pick up the phone.
Schedule A Fast Day
We fast twice per year, both days during Lent. Out of the 365 days of the year, 363 are essentially a food fest. So why does the Church ask us to spend the other two days limiting our food intake?
There’s something cathartic about denying yourself. There’s something truly unique about fasting. You notice just how much you take food for granted. You realize that there are people in the world who experience those hunger pains every single day. You focus less on you. That’s the true power of fasting.
Fasting is about more than just food. During Lent, we fast from other pleasures. We forgo the enjoyment for a greater good. We can better feel our part in the universal Church. We can cut through the materialism of our own self and recognize that we don’t need that “thing.”
Fasting was meant for more than just a few days in one particular Liturgical Season. Fasting is appropriate any day. Anytime we’re stuck in a spiritual rut, or we notice ourselves losing our way, fasting can be a great way to right the ship. That’s because fasting is an incredibly powerful prayer. Your sacrifice can directly translate into grace for someone in your life who’s hurt or suffering. It can also translate into grace that will help you overcome your own struggles.
We all have things in our lives that we’ve let take too big of a role. We’re always on our phones, we plop down on the couch for hours a week, we surf mindlessly on the Internet. I do it, too.
We can change all of that. We can integrate prayer more into our lives. We can use our own voluntary sacrifice to help make someone else’s life easier. We can use our sacrifice to prune our own lives.
Fasting isn’t just for Lent. It’s a tool for us to free ourselves or to lift someone else up.
Managing Your Daily Prayer Time
Do you ever go entire days without talking to your wife? Of course, not! Yet, we often find ourselves going days without spending quality time in prayer.
Certainly we pray before meals, but is that enough? Imagine you and your wife only spoke three times a day and you didn’t really share what’s going on in your life. Imagine you simply thanked her for making the food and then you ate in complete silence.
Sometimes we forget that our relationship with God is just that, a relationship. His expectations are reasonable. He wants us to follow His Will, He wants us to phone home daily, and He wants to feed us weekly at Mass.
If you really seek to improve in the spiritual life, you need to implement a daily prayer routine. It’s something that is fairly straightforward and can literally be started today. At the beginning of your day, block out 15 minutes for prayerful activities. You could spend time reading the Bible, reading a spiritual book, praying a rosary or even just talking with God.
When it comes to prayer, it’s easier than texting. You literally just start talking and you and God are linked up.
As with anything in relationships, too much repetition can lead to boredom and fatigue. Change your prayer routine frequently. You know yourself best, but monthly or quarterly is about right. We both know that when you get bored with something, you move on. Your relationship with God is too important to simply “move on” from.
The great thing about changing up your prayer routine is that it will broaden your spiritual horizons. You’ll learn about some new saint or explore a new facet of the Church.
Establish a daily routine and change it often.