Faith
Grace
Grace is a gift. It’s given freely to us by God, available to us the moment we choose to accept it. What does the decision to accept or reject grace mean for us?
The great thing about God is that He never forces anything on us. He never forces us to love Him, He doesn’t prevent us from sinning. This is a good thing because it removes the possibility of the existence of pre-destination. You have complete control over your destiny and whether or not you spend eternity in Heaven.
What it does mean is that if we want to make it to Heaven, we’ve got a lot of work to do. Since God isn’t forcing a decision on us, if we choose to love Him, we’re choosing a task that we’re woefully unprepared to undertake. To make up for this inadequacy, God offers us grace.
Grace is the supernatural currency that allows us to rise above our circumstances. It allows us to enhance the good in our lives and to make better choices.
If we accept grace, we will grow in love. Our actions, our words, and our thoughts will be more loving. This creates a trickle-down effect to those around us. As we’re more loving, it becomes easier for others to reciprocate that love and, therefore, they become more loving.
The sooner we begin to accept grace, the better our lives will be. While we’ll still face sufferings and hardships, they’ll be easier to bear. As we undergo trials, we’ll know that we’re both not alone and not suffering needlessly.
Grace is the key to the locked door out of our own humanity. When we avail ourselves of the graces we need to be the people we are called to be, we begin to get a glimpse into the mind of God.
No Shortcuts
A few weeks ago, we heard at Mass the Gospel in which Peter tried to get Jesus to skip the Passion. Shockingly (or it should be quite shocking), Jesus replied strongly with, “Get behind me Satan!” Whoa. Jesus responded in this way because Peter was asking Him to take a shortcut and Jesus knew that there was no shortcut to saving humanity.
There are many things in my life that I’d like to take a good shortcut from. I wish there was a shortcut out of debt, I wish that there was a shortcut to getting to my weight goal. I wish there was a shortcut to being the perfect husband. The thing is, shortcuts almost never work. Shortcuts out of debt turn out to be scams. Shortcuts to weight loss have only a temporary effect. There are no shortcuts in life.
In the spiritual life, we’d love to take a few nice shortcuts. The fact is, being Catholic and following the teachings of the Church are, in practice, quite difficult. This true freedom that the Church wants for us ironically requires us to deny ourselves. That’s just hard.
Anywhere that I really want to go requires that I have the discipline and persistence to reach the goal.
• Discipline. When you have a goal, especially a long term one, you have to have the discipline to see things through. Major weight loss can be a multi-year journey. Being the husband you want to be is the journey of a lifetime. Discipline gives us the strength and confidence that we need to reach our goal. It can also reach into other areas of our lives to help us grow. If you have discipline, you can accomplish anything.
• Persistence. Every journey is full of ups and downs. You’ll make good progress on your fitness plan, and then you’ll have a work trip and fall off the wagon. Failing to complete a goal perfectly doesn’t matter if you reach the goal. The ability to reset, refocus, and start charging again is the true mark of a man.
If Christ knew that He couldn’t take a shortcut from the cross, we should expect the same. To be the people we were made to be, to reach our Eternal Destiny, we’ll have struggles. We’ll have pain. We’ll have shortcomings. If we have the discipline to maintain our prayer life and, frankly, our love affair with God, and if we have the persistence to move past temptation and sin, we’ll make it.
There are no shortcuts to anywhere you want to be. Reaching your goals, whether they be physical, intellectual, or spiritual requires hard work and daily forward progress.
Make A Pilgrimage
There’s an ancient practice in Christianity that’s lost some of its spice. That’s the practice of making pilgrimages. While the other two great monotheistic religions still incorporate pilgrimages into the rites of passage for their members, pilgrimages have a diminished role in Christianity. Catholicism actually offers the best opportunity for pilgrimages because our holy sites aren’t in just one region of the world. In fact, there are pilgrimage sites in every nation around the world where Catholicism has taken root.
While we tend to think of a pilgrimage as a long journey, our modern era affords all Catholics the ability to easily access pilgrimage sites. Many of us learned more about these local sites in 2000, the year of the great jubilee. For American Catholics, we don’t have to fly to Italy in order to make a pilgrimage. We could travel to such varied sites as Washington, San Francisco, La Crosse (WI), Emmitsburg (MD), Pittsburgh, and many more. A simple Google search will yield plenty of places to make a pilgrimage.
Even better, we might not even have to travel outside of our own Diocese. There are numerous Basilicas, Chapels, Monasteries, and Holy Sites all around us. A pilgrimage is not so much about the destination as it is about our mindset and how we carry it out. A pilgrimage is simply a religious journey. So, as you travel to a pilgrimage site, pray. While at the site, pray. As you return home, pray. There are indulgences to be gained for making a pilgrimage.
Another idea for making a pilgrimage is the tradition of “Church Hopping.” During the Easter Feast, after the Mass of the Lord’s Supper on Holy Thursday, Churches around the world strip the altar and the Blessed Sacrament is exposed for adoration for a time. Church Hopping involves traveling to many local parishes and visiting our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.
Pilgrimages should be a regular part of your spiritual life, at least once annually. Not only is it a great practice, it can help expose you to the greater life of the Church. The Church’s daily mission is carried on in millions of Churches, institutions, and places throughout the world. By going beyond your own parish, you can experience the richness and treasures of the Church.
The experiences of a pilgrimage can be a particularly intense form of prayer for a special intention, or it can simply help you grow in your Catholic cultural acumen. The experience of pilgrimages remind us in a small way of the pilgrimage that we make every day, as people on Earth, working our way back to Heaven.
Pilgrimages offer the opportunity to grow and pray in a unique and new way. Adopt this practice in your own life and in that of your family’s.
Use the Church
Life can be a challenging journey. While we have amazing highs, we also have deeply dark lows. Part of the splendor of the Church, and being a member of the Church, is that we actually are kind of cheating. With access to the Sacraments and the Treasury of Graces, we’re able to soar higher than we would otherwise, and we’re able to find light in the darkest times of our lives.
I love meeting converts and experiencing their faith because it’s always so intentional. For them, there was a time in their life where they didn’t have access to the Church, and so they have a beautiful appreciation of what it truly means to be Catholic. I was raised with the gift of faith, which gives me a different appreciation. There was never a time in my life when I didn’t have access to the life of the Church. However, just like a convert, I’ve had to overcome the temptation to take Her for granted, and, through that process, have come to love Her.
It’s incredibly frustrating to me personally when friends who are Catholic don’t take every advantage that the Church offers. At this stage in my life, it’s usually friends getting married outside of the Church. The frustration is in knowing how much more powerful, fulfilling, and edifying their lives would be if they only they would use the Church and Her graces in the manner in which they were given to us.
The Church was given to us to help continue the saving mission of Jesus and for the salvation of souls. That means that the Church is for you and it’s for me. The Church is the lighthouse on the rocks, guiding us to safety in turbulent times. The Church is there to celebrate with joy when we receive the Sacraments. The Church is there to pick us up when we’ve fallen. The Church is there with Her vast wisdom to help us know what is Truth.
Use Her!
Mass Journal
What would it be like if at every Mass you attended, you had a breakthrough moment? What would it be like if at every Mass something impacted you in a way that you really needed. Perhaps it would be some inspiration in a time of darkness or some encouragement for your life? Adopting the habit of a Mass Journal could be the game changer for you.
Last month, Alison, Benedict, and I loaded up the car and drove to Ohio for my cousin’s wedding. It was about a 6 hour drive. We had plans to drive back home on Sunday afternoon after going to Mass. Benedict was pretty fussy at Mass, so he and I stood in the back so he could calm down. While there, I saw one of those Lighthouse Media Catholic CD stands. I’m sure you’ve seen one at your parish, too. We thought it might be good to pick out one of the CDs for the ride home. We chose a talk by Matthew Kelly.
In the talk, Matthew talked about the use of a Mass Journal. He advocated that if we’d use this tool, after one year we’d have the most powerful spiritual resource that we could get a hold of. I was inspired, so I adopted the practice.
A Mass Journal is just that, a journal. Each time you go to Mass, Matthew suggests the following simple prayer, “God, show me one way in this Mass I can become a better version of myself this week.” Then, expect God to talk to you.
The real power of the Mass Journal is that you become a very active listener. I find myself attentively paying attention to everything (homily and all!) looking for that one thing that I need to hear.
In the month or two since I’ve taken up the habit, I haven’t been let down. I’ve found real spiritual growth in my life. It’s always the right message that I need to hear on that particular week.
It’s easy to get started. Simply get a journal, take it to Mass, and write down the one thing that strikes you most. When I started, I used a journaling app on my phone. I felt really awkward using my phone in Church, so getting a physical journal is really important for making this work.
Mass shouldn’t happen to us. Be an active participant and an active listener to God’s Word in your life. Use a Mass Journal. It just might make you a better husband.
How to Ease into Daily Prayer
Any time you try to establish a new habit, the best implementation is gradual. If you start too quick, you’ll peter out. If you start too slow, you’ll lose interest and move on. The approach that will give you the best results is one that eases you into the habit.
I’m extremely goal oriented, so when I set a goal, I want to charge at it. For most goals, it’s the appropriate response. Having tenacity and confidence is extremely helpful. However, for things like adopting a habit of exercise or daily prayer, it can be all wrong. I’ve learned that, especially with prayer, it’s more important to begin with a simple routine of high quality prayer time.
When you decide to begin a daily prayer routine, start by asking yourself 4 simple questions.
• Where am I? An accurate and up-to-date self-evaluation of your spiritual life can be tremendously helpful. If you’ve been away from prayer for a while, you’ll need to adjust your plans for that. If there is a particular form of prayer that you find difficult, you’ll want to avoid that type of prayer. By better choosing your starting point, you’ll have a better chance of making significant progress.
• How much time do I have? You have a number of commitments on your time. Between family, work, and friends, you have a lot going on. God isn’t asking you to drop all of that. He’s asking to be added to your list. So, by figuring out how much time you do have that you can devote to prayer, you can come up with a list of prayerful activities. If you have an hour daily, perhaps daily Mass could make it on your list. If you literally only have 15 minutes, a Rosary or spiritual reading will do.
• Can I find more time somewhere else? Time is all about priorities. If something is important enough to us, we’ll find the time to make it happen. If you find yourself only able to give 15 minutes to prayer, where in your schedule can you free up more time? Is there something you can cancel? Is there something you can limit? Can you wake up earlier or go to bed a little later?
• What does success look like? This all-important part of goal setting is too often ignored. Instead of defining success, we define failure. So, let’s get this one right. What does a successful daily prayer habit look like to you?
Starting a daily prayer habit is an excellent first step in the spiritual life. Start reasonable, start gradually, but above all, START!
What if We Lived the Way We Ought?
When did being pious start being perceived as pretentious?
Benedict has recently gotten onto a very structured sleep-wake-play schedule. This change has allowed me to bring structure back into my own life. As a result, we’ve been able to establish a solid daily prayer routine. As I’ve experienced the profound joy in my life through this change, I found myself hesitant to share. I wasn’t ashamed, I just didn’t want people to roll their eyes at me.
We should never be ashamed of winning at the spiritual life. In fact, living a holy and pious life is the way we ought to live. It’s the only real way to live. We’re supposed to live in Communion with God. We’re supposed to be full of faith and charity.
Living the life that you ought to live begins with a daily prayer routine. It’s more than just a few minutes at the beginning of the day. It’s a habit. It’s regular. It’s taking the time throughout the day to pray, to remind yourself of the love of God. That’s what a true routine is. Not anything massive, nothing groundbreaking, nothing new, just a simple habit of regularly talking to God.
What’s more important than our own spiritual growth is the witness we give to those around us. Your example of prayer and holiness might inspire someone who will ultimately convert, it might inspire your wife, it might even inspire your children.
If you’re living the way you ought to, never be afraid to share the joy that you’ve found. Be bold!
Get Off the Broken Road
Our spiritual walk is a marathon, not a sprint. That means that there are going to be a lot of times when you’re doing things right, and a lot of times when you’re not quite on point.
I’ve had an evolving relationship with the Sacrament of Confession over the past decade. There have been a few years where it wasn’t a priority for me. There were a few months where I was going weekly. These days I’m averaging about once per month. As I’ve frequented the Sacrament more regularly, I’ve noticed real changes in my life.
Let’s face it, going to Confession is pretty inconvenient. Either the Parish offers it once per week for about 32.5 seconds, or it’s offered almost every day and the lines are impossible. Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, here are some things to think about when it comes to Confession.
• Confession is a reminder of the vastness of God’s love. Have you ever had a friend or family member screw up and you gave them a second chance, only to see them blow it again? Imagine if they were on their 1,000th chance, and they still blew it. That’s us. We sin, we go to Confession, we resolve to do better. Repeat. The sins really don’t change that much. Despite our best resolution, we sin again. Yet, each time, God forgives. He accepts our insufficient apology. He knows we’re going to hurt Him again, but He’s so invested in this relationship, He’s so confident that we’ll make it in the end, that He hits that reset button one more time.
• Every sin has a cause.I like to think of sin as a chain. You start with a very innocent act. Then, that weakness contributes to the next sin, another link. If you play the game long enough, you have a really long chain and end up in the realm of mortal sin. At any point, you can break the chain. Depending on how far along the chain you are, the bigger the bolt cutters you’ll need. As you get deeper into sin, you start to despair and think that nothing can stop you from going further. That’s the lie of sin. When you pray, expect something to happen.
• Every sin has an effect.We think of sin as being a very personal thing. We don’t often share our failures with people in our lives. Yet, it effects those around us. Sin robs us of charity, which is our ability to love. For example, when I commit sins of pride, I feel myself being less patient with Alison and Benedict. There are very real consequences to sin not just in the next life, but in this one, here, today.
• Confession takes away the power of sin. Sin is very much like mold, it thrives in the dark. When you expose mold to sunlight, it dies. When you carry around the burden of your sins, they grow like the proverbial monster in the closet. It almost takes on a new life. Then it starts running your life and keeping you in fear. There’s only one way to defeat sin: name it. When you go to the Sacrament and tell Christ, out loud, the names of your sins and the number of times you committed them, you have a real, “My name is Legion” moment. You realize how real sin is and how devastating its effects are. Confession gives you the ability to undercut sin and steal its power.
Above all, the point of the Sacrament is to give us the graces and opportunity to reform our lives. If we don’t make concrete changes in our lives to do better with our new chance, then we’ve made a huge mistake. We’re given this incredible opportunity to start over each time we receive the Sacrament, we really ought to make the tough changes so we don’t end up suffering from Confession Repeat Syndrome.
You know what leads you to sin, you know what the links in your chain are. Break them.
Be Merciful
We all love mercy when we’re the recipient. When we’re the giver, however, it’s much more difficult.
I’m both intrigued and terrified by Benedict. I’m intrigued that he is constantly learning, even though he can’t verbalize his experiences in English. I’m terrified that he’s already learning from my example. As I continually consider what things I want to highlight for him, the subject of mercy comes up.
I’m a frequent sinner and consequently I’m frequently in line for Confession. Each time I go to the Sacrament, I receive a ridiculous amount of mercy that I in no way merit and, for good measure, within a week or two, I’m back in line. Yet, because I am a child of God and because He desires a relationship with me, He continues to forgive and I get another chance to get it right.
There’s an amazing lesson in that mystery. God desires a relationship with me so deeply that He’s willing to forgive my numerous offenses. We all need a little more of that.
It’s terribly sad when parents and children aren’t talking because of something that happened years ago. It’s terribly sad when marriages break up because of a serious breach of trust. It’s terribly sad when someone leaves the Church because they can’t reconcile with some teaching.
We all experience serious breaches of trust. We all experience betrayal. We all experience disappointment in relationships. Yet, we’re supposed to be merciful. We’re supposed to extend the olive branch. We desire to be in relationship with the person who hurt us. Do we want it deeply enough to overlook offenses?
Are you merciful with your wife?
Are you merciful with your kids?
Are you merciful with your friends?
Are you merciful with your coworkers?
Are you merciful with yourself?
The great thing about mercy is its intrinsic healing properties. Mercy fosters trust. A broken trust starts to heal, even if slowly, when mercy is given. Mercy fosters love. When you receive mercy or extend it, you get a glimpse into the heart of God. Mercy fosters peace. Mercy ends conflict and brings harmony.
The next time you’re in a position where someone hurts you, extend mercy so that you both might experience its beauty.
Be A Saint, Now
I think that we have a pretty unhealthy view of Heaven. I’d venture to guess that most Catholics, myself included, take the St. Augustine view… “Lord make me holy, but not yet.” How different would our lives be, how different would our marriages be, if we instead took the approach, “Lord, make me holy now."
Alison and I have found a rich little Catholic community here in Northern Virginia. It’s really pretty incredible. Our parish is vibrant and the homilies are choice. One of the running themes over the past several weeks, thanks mainly to this year’s Gospel cycle, is the universal call to holiness. In combination with the recent canonizations and persecutions, the message is loud and clear, “You don’t have to wait until you’re old to be a saint!"
We like to think of sainthood as something lofty, as we should. Yet, we take it a step further and think it’s reserved for a select few. It’s true that out of all of human history, a very small percentage of people are canonized. At the same time, the Church’s teachings are clear: there are untold numbers of people who are in Heaven (saints) that the Church hasn’t canonized. The purpose of canonization is not to separate the wheat from the chaff, it’s to hold up examples to the Church here on earth. The purpose of canonization is to celebrate our participation in Salvation History. Canonized saints are just a few examples of regular people who lived their lives right.
We all have difficulties and struggles in the spiritual life. Those challenges tend to spill over into other areas of our lives. This is normal, as we are integrated people. You can’t separate the spirituality from the intellect from the sexuality of a human person. So when we’re living our lives in a way that will lead us to sainthood, other aspects of our lives get better. We have better days, richer relationships, and more peace and joy. When we stray, everything gets a bit worse.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
The decision to be a saint is made today.
Sainthood is a culmination of a life of service and sacrifice. Our modern saints are an excellent example of this. Saint John Paul II’s entire life embodied these two principles. He subverted the Nazis, destroyed Communism, taught us about the beauty of human sexuality and showed us a witness of love through terminal illness. He showed us that no life is unimportant, no life is expendable, no one is replaceable.
He didn’t wake up one morning and have the fortitude and tenacity to challenge power. His daily decision to follow Christ from a young age prepared him for the mission he was called to live.
It’s never too late. It’s never too late to start following Christ. Today’s the day you start. Today’s the day you start living the life you were supposed to live. Today’s the day you start your journey towards sainthood.
True joy comes from living in the Law. It’s like following the owners manual for your car. The closer you follow the manual, the better your ride drives.
Man up. Start today. Start small. Start at home. And let your children “catch you.”