Faith
Sublime Forgivness
The struggle with the Sacrament of Confession is a lifelong one for Catholics. Our struggle is a deeply human one in that the Sacrament requires us to look at our lives and voice our failings. We’re not perfect people, and Confession is a stark reminder of that. We love the feeling of cleanliness after Confession, but we struggle with comprehending God’s great mercy.
Recently I’ve been reading books about World War II. I love history and learning about so many of the characters that helped shape world events. Some of the stories are so sensational that it’s hard to believe that they can be real. One of those characters is Rudolf Hoss. Rudolf was the commandant of Auschwitz for many years during World War II. Under his direction, somewhere between 1.5 and 3 million people lost their lives, whether by outright murder, death by starvation, torture, disease, or cruel medical experimentation.
I fail to come up with words strong enough to express how reprehensible Rudolf’s actions were. He’s considered by many to be the greatest criminal to have ever lived. The compete disregard for human life is shocking, even today, 70 years later. The magnitude is unimaginable. 3 million lives, snuffed out on his orders.
By all accounts, most people would consider him to be eternally damned. Of course, that’s not our place to judge and we’ll never know. You’d think that after the end World War II, his story would be over. It’s precisely then that it starts to get interesting. After some time on the run, Rudolf was caught and convicted of crimes against humanity, and sentenced to execution by hanging. The authorities built a gallows on the spot in Auschwitz where the camp Gestapo interrogated and tortured inmates. He was executed in 1947. The part of the story that we don’t often hear about was that Rudolf was Catholic. Certainly his actions as commandant were in direct opposition to everything that the Church stands for and teaches. Indeed, there’s a great body of documentation showing the great lengths that the Church went to in order to save Jews and other persecuted people during the war. Yet, a few days before his execution, Rudolf received the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
We’ll never know the disposition of his heart, how contrite he was, or what he even said. What we do know, based on Church teaching, is that God will forgive any sin for which we are truly sorry, if we bring it to Him in the Sacrament with a contrite heart. What that means is that Rudolf, the greatest criminal of all time, a man who ruthlessly and actively allowed 3 million souls to perish who were under his authority, if he asked God for forgiveness, was granted it.
Amazing.
The lesson here is this: God’s mercy, through the Sacrament, can forgive any sin.
Fear plays a role in how we approach, or don’t approach, Confession. We feel a great sense of shame as we commit the same sins day after day, week after week. That shame drives us to fear naming our sins to a priest who may know us or recognize our voice. This is, of course, unfounded. The priest may never reveal what he hears under the seal of the Sacrament, and further, he’s undoubtedly heard much worse. Yet, even with this knowledge, shame still creeps in. This is, no doubt, the work of Satan. The fact remains that a faithful Catholic is devastating to his plans of destruction. That means that the more faithful and fervent you are, the greater the threat you become. It also means that if you’re tempted more frequently, you just may be living the Christian life right.
We’re all repeat offenders, even the priest. While he may not struggle with the same sin that you are, he knows all too well that the struggle is real. We all resolve to do better and we all relapse. Repeated relapses led us to believe that we’re unworthy of forgiveness or that there’s no point of going to Confession because we’re just going to sin again. This logic is completely backwards. It’s when the swimmer gives up that he’s overwhelmed by the water and not a moment before. Confession is our chance to persevere and overcome.
In the Sacrament of Confession, we’re confronted with more than just our past failings; we come face to face with the overwhelming majesty of God. Who is this that can forgive our numerous and repeated offenses against Him? Who can have an inexhaustible supply of mercy, love, and forgiveness? With the right intent, we’re able to receive true forgiveness. Aside from being able to physically receive the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus, as He promised, through the Eucharist that He established, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is the greatest benefit of being a Catholic.
We all face fear and shame when we reflect upon our lives and see how far we’ve fallen short of the bar we set for ourselves. Through grace and the Sacramental life of the Church, we’re able to be healed, reconciled, and dusted off, prepared to rise again tomorrow, refreshed and joyful, ready to praise Him throughout another day.
How to Grow this Lent
Unbelievably, today is Ash Wednesday. In just a few hours, the hunger pangs will start to set in as we observe the first of two fasting days this year. Masses today will undoubtedly be crowed by the faithful looking to mark the beginning of this penitential and fruitful season.
Over the past few weeks, you may have noticed that many fast food chains have started to market heavily their fish options. I think it’s pretty funny that they cater to us every time this year. It also shows the remarkable market strength Christians have when we band together.
The question on everyone’s mind, including mine, is how can we grow this Lent? Over the past two weeks, I’ve been promoting my most recent book, Grant Us Peace, as one possible aid in your Lenten journey. Although it is a 21 day retreat, as opposed to the full 40 days of Lent, I wrote it specifically for times like these. It seems that around Ash Wednesday each year, many Catholics recognize how far they are from the spiritual life that they wish they had and are eager to hit the restart button. If that sounds like you, “Grant Us Peace” is the right book for you now.
What’s perhaps even better than the newness that Lent brings is how excited the clergy gets. It’s wonderful when priests dramatically increase the frequency and prevalence of liturgies and devotionals. Stations of the Cross are offered weekly, a few extra daily Masses are added to the schedule, some very early in the morning and others at night. This is really great because it caters to members of the parish who wish they could participate more actively in the daily life of the Church, but their work schedule precludes them from doing so. Your parish might even have a speaker series or a mission happen during Lent and, of course, there will be a penance service. The penance service is awesome because you really feel comfortable confessing your worst sins to a priest that you’ll likely never see again.
As we start this 40 day journey, I want you to take a good look at the full schedule at your parish and find some ways to more actively participate with you and your family, especially in the Easter Triduum. These liturgies are sublime and, when you really get into them, are not at all boring or old fashioned. They are beautiful expressions of faith that allow us to better understand how sin effects the entire Church.
This Lent, find ways at home to enrich your family’s spiritual life. Be reflective, be resolute, and immerse yourself in this season. Read the Sunday readings together on Saturday, pray a rosary together, or even just start praying together in the evening. Do something and make it a priority.
Lent is a beautiful opportunity for a grand spiritual restart. Don’t wait until Holy Week to start yours.
Falling Forward in Lent
With Lent just around the corner, another opportunity for us to refocus our energies and prayer life on God is about to arrive. Lent provides an excellent opportunity for us to do some spring cleaning in our soul.
There’s a danger to Lent, however. Naturally, anything that lasts more than a few days challenges our abilities to focus on a goal or a project. Focus, however, is not the enemy during Lent. The real enemy is discouragement.
A few days before Ash Wednesday, or perhaps even on Ash Wednesday, we decide how we’ll observe this Lent. It might be by abstaining from something, adding something to our lives, or even a commitment to participate in additional liturgies, Stations, or the Easter Triduum. As of today we have 6 days to go until Lent starts, and we know that the further in advance that you set your goals, the higher probability that you’ll have success.
Regardless of how diligent you are, there will be times of failure this Lent for you. You won’t bat .1000 and you won’t fully keep your pledges. For most of us, the first failure will happen within a week of Ash Wednesday. What will define your Lent, what will define your preparations for the Easter celebration, will be how you respond to that failure.
Approaching any situation with a dose of reality makes a big difference and can help put you in a position to make better choices. Recognizing the fact that you won’t keep your Lent promises perfectly will help you to better cope with reality when it sets in.
I’d encourage you to not take a legalistic approach to the Lenten season. Instead, I’d encourage you give something up, out of love. I’d encourage you to take something on, out of love. I’d encourage you to participate in more liturgies, out of love.
When we do something out of love rather than out of obligation, our mindset changes. We’re better able to move past failure because we so fervently want to continue to express our love. I love Alison, so when I fail to take good care of her, I don’t just throw up my hands and never try again. No, I feel a tinge of remorse and try even harder to serve her better moving forward. The same should be true for us in Lent.
Spend this Lent contemplating the crucifixion and your role in it. Our sins today transcend time and caused, in some part, the necessity of the crucifixion. Ponder also the great love that God has for you, that He’d go through all of that so that we might have a chance at living with Him forever. Consider also the comfort that you can give to the crucified Christ through your good works and signs of love, fidelity, and affection.
One other exercise that I’ve found particularly edifying in recent years is to read a book during Lent that relates to the events of Easter. Killing Jesus by Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugard or Jesus of Nazareth: Holy Week by Pope Benedict XVI are two excellent choices. Really get lost in the historical events of Holy Week. Put yourself in the shoes of an observer and experience the reality of what happened and how it happened. You’ll walk away with a much deeper appreciation of the significance of the Paschal Mystery, as well as the graphic nature of the events that surround it.
I wrote a few days ago that you should make this Lent matter. Recognize Lent for what it truly is, a chance to start fresh; a chance to clean out the cobwebs and get back to basics.
Avoid Whatever Leads You to Sin
I’m usually not very forgetful, but there’s one time that I am. During Confession, after the priest says “Now say your Act of Contrition,” I typically blank. It’s not that I don’t know the words, or even that I’m nervous. It’s that I do much better praying out loud with a bunch of other people.
I generally get my act together (pun intended) after the first few lines and then I’m in the clear. One of the things I’ve been trying to do in the past few months is to really pray with empathy. I’ve prayed the Act of Contrition hundreds of times in my life, but in Confession, I try to pray it in a way that I’m having a conversation with Christ. I pray it in a way that I’d make an apology to a friend.
There’s one phrase that I get hung up on, because my follow through is very weak. “… and to avoid whatever leads me to sin.”
Oh.
We all know what things lead us to sin. I’ve written before about triggers and understanding where they come from and how they get tripped. In the Act of Contrition, and whenever we go to Confession, we promise to avoid those things, but I think it’s safe to say that we do a pretty bad job.
What does it take for us to do better? What does it take for us to actually follow through? How do we overcome the most serious things that lead us to sin, things that aren’t innately bad but cause us to sin anyway?
For example, what if you sin when you use Facebook? What if using Facebook leads you to jealousy or rage or pride? If you promise to avoid whatever leads you to sin, that means you promise to avoid Facebook. Ouch.
Of course, this is the challenge in the spiritual life. Many things that are popular among our friends can be potentially dangerous to our spiritual well being. We should be saying no to far more things than we already do. At the end of the day, it really does come down to priorities.
This is a battle not easily won, especially if you find yourself having to give up something that you’ve done for a very long time. It becomes a matter of virtue and of discipline.
A promise is a promise. We should avoid whatever leads us to sin, we say we’ll avoid whatever leads us to sin, so let’s just actually get the job done this time.
Make this Lent Matter
It’s hard to believe, but in a little over three weeks, we’ll begin our annual journey called Lent. While Easter is the biggest liturgical holiday/party of the year, the season of Lent leading up to it is, well, less fun.
It was only a few years ago that I abhorred Lent. I didn’t like the color purple, I was less than inspired with the Sunday readings, and the whole season was just a pain to get through. This view of Lent was partially rooted in the cultural reduction of the season. It’s become a sort of Catholic New Year filled with “resolutions” that we all but abandon a few days into the season.
Lent is spring cleaning for your soul, but too many of us view it as a time of pointless suffering. We give up sweets or TV or something else that’s trivial and then we whine about it for the six weeks until Easter. That’s because we too often chose to give something up with ulterior motives.
We give up sweets so we can lose weight. We give up TV and instead we fritter all of that time away on the Internet. Lent is about sacrifice, it’s about fasting to gain greater self-control, but more importantly, its changes should be lasting.
What good is giving up sweets if on Easter you tear through the candy aisle like a castaway returning to civilization? What good is giving up TV if on Easter Monday you’re back to watching 8 hours a day?
This Lent, I challenge you to do something lasting. Make this Lent mean something! We all have vices that need attention, or relationships that need healing. Fast from something, yes, but make that a small part of your Lenten journey, not the whole enchilada.
Maybe this is the Lent that you get serious about your prayer life. Six weeks of carving out daily prayer time will more than prepare you for the post-Lenten challenge of continuing your good works.
Maybe this is the Lent that you get serious about going to Mass as a family. Maybe this is the Lent that you get serious about growing in relationship with Mary or with a particular saint. Maybe this is the Lent that you finally punch your biggest habitual sin in the face.
Lent can be so much more than something to get through. A solid preparation throughout the Lenten season can lead to a more joyful Easter celebration. As with goals for the new year, the key to a successful Lent is early preparation.
Take some time to consider your spiritual health, identify areas for improvement, and commit to using this Lent to help you reach those goals. If you’re looking for something to help you with your spiritual refresh, “Grant Us Peace” will make an excellent companion to your Lenten journey.
Hospital for Sinners
It’s no secret that I love the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I don’t love the feelings of anxiety while waiting in line, but I love what it does for me personally, physically, and psychologically.
There’s something heavy about carrying around the guilt and shame that comes with sin. I’m embarrassed when I don’t live up to the standards that I know I can meet. I’m filled with guilt when I knowingly choose to do the wrong thing. I feel trapped under the secrecy that sin insists upon.
I think in some way, we all know that trapped feeling. We have a vision of ourselves, the self that we hope the world sees, and it’s a tremendous burden to continue to project that vision while knowing full well how far short we fall.
Confession just might be the Church’s least popular Sacrament. We’re only required to go once per year and honestly, that’s just not enough. I can’t make it more than a month without going. In some sense, I’m a bit addicted to fresh starts.
Confession isn’t just about us admitting what we’ve done wrong. It’s a brilliant chance for us to ponder God’s greatness and be inspired to start moving in that direction. Most people will commit variations of the same sin repeatedly over the course of their lives. We have particular weaknesses in some areas and strengths in others that end up comprising our sin profile. From time to time, you’ll ask yourself how (and why) God continues to forgive you for making the same dumb mistakes.
That’s the magic moment. When you ask that question, you gain a small insight into the mind of God. He is so much greater than us that He’s able to continue to offer forgiveness and mercy, even though He knows how long your road to recovery will be. Then, you gain a second insight. He is so deeply in love with you. You’re His creation and His child, and He’s willing to do anything to save you from a life of sadness so that you can live a life of joy.
Confession isn’t about punishment and vindication. If it was, the Church would have to close the books on it because no one would survive true justice. We don’t go looking for justice, we go seeking mercy. Confession is about healing, about reconciliation. It’s about us naming our sins out loud and remembering where we are in relationship with God.
It’s through the Sacrament of Reconciliation that the Church lives Her mission as a hospital for sinners. Only She has the authority to heal sin, hurts, and division, in a mission assigned to the founders of the Church, the Apostles (Matthew 16:19).
And it’s a hospital that we need.
Beat the Devil Out of You
No one likes being a failure.
We all have that one sin that we’re dying to beat. I bet yours came right to mind. I know mine did. I’m not talking about that little bad habit, I’m talking about your biggest character flaw.
We don’t like admitting we’re wrong. We don’t like admitting that we have a problem. We project an image to the world that all’s well in our life and that we’ve got it made. And just like that, the problem deepens. We deny, deny, deny and all it does is take greater root in your life.
There have been times in the past when you tried to beat it. You’d get the upper hand for a week, a month, maybe 2 months, but then you’re right back in the cycle. This is the perpetual struggle in the spiritual life. We’re always moving towards perfection, but our own habits are the very thing that can sink us. Even the Gospel acknowledges this fact (Mark 7:15). Sin starts in our mind. Not with temptation, but by giving into temptation. It’s a mental game.
Discouragement is perhaps our greatest enemy in this struggle. We look at our life and despair about how much better of a person we’d be if we hadn’t let this sin take root. We get discouraged about all the times that we tried and failed. We get to the point where we tell ourselves that there’s no use in trying to amend, because it’s just going to happen again.
And that’s where we’re wrong. We simply have to be more aggressive, intense, and mad. We literally have to beat the devil out of ourselves.
You might find yourself again at that decision point. The new year is offering you a chance for a reboot and you just might take it up on the offer. But, what will it take? What do you have to do differently this time in order to be more successful?
First, be more comprehensive. This requires a multi-prong attack. Beef up the prayer life, choke the supply chain of temptation, and increase your knowledge and understand of those who are harmed by your sin.
Second, imagine your life without this sin. It’s going to be awesome, but in what way? How will you be a better person and more accurately reflect the perception you show to the world?
Last, you can’t win this alone. Find a source of constant inspiration, someone to help, or some group of people struggling with you.
You can beat this.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Once this sin is gone, there will just be another one to take its place. That’s true, but it’s going to be even weaker than the sin you just beat. You took down Goliath, now you’re just fighting his lackeys. If you can take down the biggest guy in the bar, surely you can take down his blockhead friends.
You’ll spend your whole life striving for perfection, systematically weeding out sin in your life. Why not start today?
The Constancy of God
We’ve all experienced a time of great betrayal in our lives. An instance when we were comfortable and happy in our world, only to have it turned upside down by someone very close to us. Perhaps it was a devastating divorce of your parents or a shocking betrayal by a very close friend.
The effects of these events are enduring. We struggle to cope with them years down the road and, sadly, sometimes people never recover. We insulate ourselves from the world and from other people, causing us to miss out on some truly special relationships because we’re haunted by the ghosts of the past.
Perhaps most damaging about a single act of serious betrayal is that we stop believing in permanence. If marriage was lasting, how come my parents got divorced? If you can’t trust an old friend, whom can you trust?
Our perceptions of the world get warped and eventually this distorted view of reality ends up trampling our spiritual life. We can’t understand how anything could be permanent, so how can God always love me, even though I commit egregious sin? How can God always be with me when He feels so far away.
These are the struggles that every Christian faces at one time or another. We struggle to understand, with our knowledge of human relationships, how God can be so resilient to our disloyalty and so ready to forgive.
It’s one of the great mysteries of our faith and, truthfully, it’s one that we should be constantly celebrating.
In a world adrift, despite the mistrust we might have in human relationships, God is always present. He never leaves us and He’s always ready, able, and willing to welcome us back into His good graces.
This constancy is something that we can never hope to understand, but is something that we should place great confidence and trust in. This isn’t a fleeting promise or a flippant mood that He’s in, He is always full of mercy and love. He’s unchanging in a changing world. It’s us who leave Him, not Him who leaves us.
As we enter into this new year, now’s a good time to evaluate where you are in your relationship with God. We all have really dark times when we’ve distanced ourselves from God and maybe this is the year you rediscover the joy and peace of Catholicism.
Find some good books to read, go to Confession and experience overwhelming emotions of joy and hope, chisel out some time for daily prayer. Do good works, avoid evil, and relish the great gift of faith.
God is always waiting to hear from us. Pick up the phone right now.
Reclaiming Peace
Our lives are filled with boundless triumphs and difficult trials. If you look back at the past 10, 15, or even 20 years of your life, there were extended periods of time when you flourished and had a deep sense of peace. You’ll also see periods of extended difficulties, perhaps compounded by multiple negative life events. This is the rhythm of life, and no matter which season you’re experiencing today, it doesn’t change the one immovable truth: you were meant to live with a peace that surpasses understanding.
It’s definitely more difficult to recognize, or even achieve this deep sense of peace, when you are in the midst of negative life events. Let’s face it, we’re more heavily influenced by negative life events than we are by positive life events. Death, serious illness, troubles at work, and even relational problems easily overtake our minds. We succumb to extended periods of negative thoughts and that negativity affects our whole worldview. It becomes the lens through which we see the world, at least for a time.
Life is temporary, and one day, all of this will be over. So when we’re in a downturn, how do we maintain perspective? How do we cope with extremely negative events, especially those outside of our control, or those that we won’t have resolution to for months?
It’s important to start with the realization that negativity is a huge wall to climb. Death in the family is not easily overcome. Strained relationships with your spouse or with your children won’t heal overnight. We can’t simply will change and then immediately see the effect. That shouldn’t stop us, however, from making immediate positive changes to help reshape our environment.
The best way to take on negativity is to attack it head-on. We’ve got to take away some of the power it has, and that power is coming mainly from the lies that we let it tell us. Negativity will try to tell us that you’ll never get over a loss, that your relationship won’t heal, and that your work problems will end up with you unemployed.
The truth is, relationships have cycles. There are good times, there are bad times. So if you’re in a downturn, with a little work, you’ll turn the corner on this thing. Your spiritual life will have ruts. There are times when you feel really close in your relationship with God and there are times when you feel distant and alone. Whatever negativity you face, one day, it will break. You’ll have resolution and a spring will bloom in your life. All will be well.
When you face negativity, you can never surrender. Surrender will leave you stuck in perpetual negativity. Perpetual negativity robs you of the peace that you deserve, the peace that Jesus’ passion and death bought for you.
Never give up. Never surrender. This, too, shall pass.
Christmas Reflection
Merry Christmas!
The days of preparation of Advent are over and we’re now finally celebrating the birth of Christ. I had a particularly fulfilling Advent this year and I hope that your preparations helped you reach today with a greater sense of peace and joy.
It’s becoming a tradition that I post some form of reflection on the Holy Family on Christmas Day, and I’d like to continue that today. This is, of course, my 2nd Christmas with Benedict and the reality of being a young father has helped me to see the events of Christmas in a new light.
I particularly want to focus on St. Joseph. I continue to be impressed with his strength of character and commitment to mission. While we focus mainly on Mary’s “yes,” it can be easy to overlook St. Joseph’s constancy and protection.
The Holy Family’s journey to Bethlehem, and then on to Egypt, was treacherous. They were fleeing from a hostile and powerful government, they navigated difficult terrain, and they avoided all sorts of thieves on their route. On top of all of this, they cared for a newborn baby. What a trip that must have been!
Joseph was truly a holy man, he’d have to be to accept his mission. Not only was he to take Mary as his wife despite a pregnancy that he may not have fully comprehended, he was then asked to take his family into Egypt and support them there. Being that open to accepting the Will of God required an immense depth of Spirit, and it’s something that we should all strive for.
I’m most impressed with Joseph’s courage. He was courageous in accepting Jesus as his adopted son, he was courageous in standing up to the societal pressures to divorce and perhaps even to publicly shame Mary, he was courageous in undertaking the journey to Bethlehem with his pregnant wife, and he was courageous in taking his family to Egypt and finding work to support them there.
What does all of this tell us? How can we apply the example of Joseph in our own lives?
First, we should make ourselves open to grace. Joseph was given a tremendous amount of grace to carry out his mission, but he was only ready to accept it because he was disposed to it. A solid relationship with God is foundational in grace on this scale, and yet, many of us are called to similar missions. We’re guardians and protectors of our family, and, if we do it well, we can easily become a target of the Devil. So it’s good and necessary that we allow ourselves to be as open to God as we can be.
Second, we should place our will second to God’s. This is a true challenge. Joseph’s life plan probably didn’t involve being foster father of the Savior of the World. It was probably more along the lines of running his own carpentry shop. Yet, had Joseph sought to only live out his life plan, no one would know him and God would have had to find someone else to shepherd the young Jesus.
Last, we should do everything in the service of our family. It’s clear that Joseph was a devoted family man who was intimately involved in the life of the family until his death. He wasn’t satisfied with simply providing for the material needs of his family. He was only concerned with their happiness and fulfillment.
St. Joseph is a powerful and silent role model for us as men. May we do a better job filling his shoes in 2015 than we did in 2014.
Thank you so much for being a part of this Catholic Husband community! I wish you and your family a happy, blessed, and fulfilling Christmas and I look forward to continuing to serve you in the future!
Merry Christmas!