Faith
St. Joseph: Human
Placing yourself in Bible stories is one of the most widely recommended spiritual exercises when it comes to the Scriptures. We’ve been given the grace of our faith and listening to the Readings every week, it becomes all too easy to separate ourselves from the stories. The Bible becomes a collection of bedtime stories, historical events that happened in the past and yet have little relevance today. Sure, we take the teachings, well some of them, and apply them to our lives, but most of the subject matter just doesn’t apply. I like to really turn the practice of placing myself in the stories on its head by drawing parallels between myself and the state of mind of the characters. To Mary and Joseph, they weren’t perfectly modeling the domestic Church. To them, it was just life. They wanted to do God’s Will and they did it, in just the same way that you and I could if we truly applied ourselves. This deep level of humility before God and man is what characterizes the greatest Saints in the Church.
Joseph, though he was indeed a holy man, was not exempt from sorrow, disappointment, or failure. He likely had boom times in his carpentry business and absolutely terrifying times when business was down. He was the sole provider for his family, and so he felt the same range of emotions tied to that station that we feel. Joseph was born with original sin, and so he sinned. Yet, his life points to a real detachment from sin. I think we fall into the trap of thinking that holy people have great lives because they aren’t tempted. Not so. The saints endure their miseries, but they also don’t bring misery on themselves through sin. So much of the trouble and strife that we face on a daily basis is a consequence of our choices. We choose to sin and in doing so push love a little bit further from the center of our lives. Eventually we reap what we sow.
One of the best ways to describe Joseph’s spiritual state is receptive. Like an antenna raised high in the air waiting to receive messages transmitted to it, Joseph’s actions and state of mind were turned wholly to God. He did this through a robust interior life that we can never know, but also through faithfully living his vocation. His life was so oriented towards God that when the dream came, he was ready to listen. We’ve all had vivid dreams that felt very real, how else could Joseph understand that the dream was a message meant to be carried out and not a fanciful creation of the mind?
The real path to virtue and holiness is through our individual vocations. While callings to the priestly and religious life are indeed beautiful and should be celebrated, they do not preclude, nor excuse, the laity from holiness. Each individual’s calling is specific to them and the special path they are asked to follow. By loving his wife and his Foster Child, Joseph fulfilled his marital promises and his calling in life and so journeyed deeper into the heart of God.
I thought about concluding with something pedestrian about how we can model Joseph’s life and try to live holier lives, but I think that’d be a mistake. The fact is, as hard as it is to believe, we can live a life just as holy and just as rich as Joseph, if only we start making different decisions. Joseph was not excluded from original sin, meaning he made some poor choices in his life. Yet, he pulled himself back up, worked towards perfection, and achieved that holiness that he sought. We can do it to, if only we have the courage and tenacity.
Eliminate the Possibility
A great struggle in the single life is the lack of permanence. When casually dating, playing the field, or even when you’re in a serious relationship, there’s a tentative bond that can be severed at any time, for any reason. This is extremely healthy because it would be ill-advised to enter into a permanent relationship without really knowing a person. Yet, this wavering state of affairs can also cause much angst as two people continue to move in different directions while trying to maintain a relationship. Therein lies the beauty of marriage; namely permanence.
I’ve shared in the past the great aspects of permanence. It’s a baseline and, no matter how big or small Alison and I’s disagreements may be, we always end up safely at permanence. Like a golden parachute, it brings us back to the reality that our marital relationship is so much bigger than any one fight, that together we’re doing something amazing and sharing that amazing with our children. In our minds, we’ve eliminated the possibility of breaking up, and so in every quarrel, we’re brought back to the table. This is a great lesson that can be applied to our lives.
I believe that most of our sins are a result of inaction as opposed to being ingrained. We commit the same sin over and over again because we haven’t applied enough force or focus to stop doing it. When you’ve committed the same sin over and over again, you know your triggers and warning signs.
Gossip always feels the same and you always get that feeling of, well, excitement as you’re about to dazzle the group with some really juicy information. If you gossip often enough, you can see the chain of events. You learn new information, you want to share, your stomach tightens as you wait your turn in a conversation, and you feel that sense of excitement as you spill the beans. In that sequence alone, there are four stages, four links in the chain. At any point, you could’ve jumped off the train, but you didn’t. If instead you had been focused and committed, you could have recognized the progression from the first stage, learning the new information, and the second stage, a desire to share, and ended the whole process, simply keeping everything to yourself.
Real change, mercy combined with conversion, happens when you eliminate the possibility of a particular sin from your life. You make yourself away when you’re in danger of falling into gossip and you break the chain. You stop putting yourself in social situations where you’re tempted to share. You stand up for those who are being talked about, you empathize with their situation, or you offer support and encouragement.
We have the ability to make better choices if we take the principle of permanence and apply it to our spiritual lives. By accepting that there is a baseline and eliminating the possibility of committing a particular sin, we can move beyond our own pettiness and experience a richer, happier life.
The Danger of Despair
There are many obstacles to living a holy life. We must overcome our environment, our past choices, and even our own natural inclinations. While our “fight or flight” nature defaults us to looking out after our own self interest, the Christian life demands that we look outward first before tending to our own wants and desires. Perhaps the most difficult obstacle that we must overcome in this fight against our inclination to sin is dispelling ourselves of the false nature of despair.
Despair is when we stop believing in God’s promise of mercy. It’s essentially a state that calls God a liar. There is no hope, no salvation. I am a bad person, I don’t deserve anything good, I, I, I, me, me, me. While despair carries the mask of reality, it is truly far from it. While it is true that none of us are worthy of salvation, God in His goodness extends through space and time to make us worthy. We are worthy not by our own merits, but by His. There is always hope, there is always salvation, and there is always a way back.
Despair, like fear, resides in the darkness of our minds. It is the loud, yet singular, voice telling us things that we first don’t believe, but as we go deeper into the message, fall victim to the thinking. It creeps, grows, and spoils the goodness within us. As we give despair more and more credence, we start to act on it, committing sin that we otherwise would have avoided had we not believed that salvation was just too far. It’s a disastrous thought process that permits sin on the basis of prior sins committed. Like a storm surge over a breached flood wall, we’re overcome. Inundated, we feel helpless and trapped, and so we turn to the loudest voice in our minds. That voice isn’t the sound of God reaching out to save us, no that voice was tuned out long ago. Instead, it’s the voice of despair leading us deeper in the darkness as we drown.
The nature of despair, however, is not the looming monster that we believe it to be. Rather, it’s as wispy as a morning fog. When the sun rises, it rapidly dissipates, leaving no trace of its existence. While we may walk into the confessional lost in the thick haze, the rays of God’s mercy dispel of the darkness leaving us squarely back in the light. The voice of despair remains, but now its strength has been supplanted by Truth itself.
Despair, however, refuses to be beaten. That characteristic is one that we should admire. Like a colony of ants whose hill was just knocked over, it’s right back to work on its mission of deception. The only difference now, however, is that your defenses are back up. Filled with grace instead of drowning in despair, you’re prepared to see through the falsehoods and see despair for what it really is. We can never silence despair, but we can marginalize it to the point of inconsequence.
The of all of the challenges that we face in the spiritual life, none are more sinister than the silent killers. The negative thoughts that linger in our minds are those which will completely destroy us, if we let them. In times of despair, use logic and reason to recall that what God has promised, He has done. There is no cause of doubt or concern. Turn to Him, listen to Him, and follow Him.
Discounting the Eucharist
In my previous reflection on the intimacy of the Eucharist, I started to write about the insidious nature of complacency in the Catholic life, but realized it would be better to explore this topic separately. The fact is that we all have times in our lives when we don’t give the Eucharist the prayerful respect that we should. It’s a part of our fallen nature to not be able to fully recognize God within us, or even to view ourselves as God.
You’ve heard it said that grace is often made available to us when we need it, but we have to accept it. Grace is offered when we receive the Sacraments, on special feast days, when we’re in a particular personal trial, and even when we’re faced with temptation. The thing is, it doesn’t feel like it. When I’m tempted, and I mean really tempted, grace doesn’t ride in to save the day and take it away. Those moments of serious temptation can be extremely oppressive and leave you feeling like there’s no alternative but to commit that sin just so you won’t have that feeling of the air leaving the room. Accepting grace, however, isn’t about having your problems taken away. Accepting grace is about the strength of character and relationship that emerge when you walk away the victor after a serious standoff with temptation.
There is no more powerful direct interaction with God in the universe than the Eucharist. Even when you consider Mary’s acceptance of the Christ child within her, we experience the same reality of the fullness of God coming to live physically within us, and all of the grace that comes with the physical presence of God. That intensity of divine presence is enough light to completely blot out the darkness. No evil can withstand the presence of the physical presence of God.
Ok, so if we receive the Eucharist and carry Christ within us, why do we commit sin? I find the answer in the Gospel of Mark. “Do you not realize that everything that goes into a person from outside cannot defile,” (7:18) “but what comes out of a person, that is what defiles.” (7:20) Satan’s goal is to provide the temptation to get you to freely choose to commit sin, he cannot do it for you. So in the moment of temptation you have evil exerting pressure on you externally, you have Christ living within you offering to exert overwhelming opposing pressure, but only if through the gift of free will you choose to accept His help.
God is not a genie and He has no interest in being one. He’s a dad. As a father, I don’t want Benedict to get hurt, and I don’t want him to fall, and I want him to make good choices and I don’t want to hurt his feelings when he sees that he’s disappointed me. Yet, if I don’t discipline him, I’ll have an out of control jerk who will live a miserable life. If I am constantly saving him from every little scrape and fall, I’ll have a robot not a human. I don’t want a robot as a son. I want a happy, well adjusted son who is able to freely choose to love me. This is exactly how God views us.
When we consider the true power of the Eucharist and the sublime power of having Christ take up residence physically within us, it becomes evident that the Eucharist is not to be discounted. We know why temptation abounds, we are grateful for the gift of free will, and we understand that He’s ready to help us overcome the evil in our lives if only we’ll get out of the way, stop playing God, and let Him be who He is.
Eucharistic Intimacy
Your faith life has the potential to be the most intimate relationship in your life. It’s a relationship that you have 100% control over. God is standing halfway, unmoved, just waiting for you to come out and greet Him. At the center of this relational treasure trove is the Eucharist. Its humility is unmatched and, while the Eucharist presents itself in simple terms, it’s anything but simple.
I’ve been spending a significant amount of time lately pondering the intimacy of the Eucharist and the reality of receiving the Sacrament. Breaking it down to its most basic level, the Eucharist is the physical presence of God entering into and dwelling within us. That description is deceptively simple. Exploring the reality opens up an entire world of thought and emotion.
Think back on a time when you and your wife were truly in sync. There was low stress, happiness and joy abounded, and you both felt incredibly connected. There was likely lots of cuddling and quality time spent together, and you both felt extremely close to one another. When you were both in this state, you likely wanted to continue to delve deeper into this state of closeness. You wanted to continue to grow closer all the way to the absolute center of closeness. Yet, there is only so far we can go. You can only cuddle so close. Renewal the marital covenant though the loving self-donation of one another in the marital embrace is the physical limit.
The Eucharist breaks down those barriers and takes you to the absolute center that you so desperately crave. There is no closer communion with God than to have the fullness of His presence within you, and you in Him.
I have several Christian friends who are on fire with faith and live the Christian life even better than I do. They crave that closeness and it makes me sad to know that they could have that which they desired if they entered into the fullness of the faith that only the Church can provide. It’s here that we find our calling to spread the Gospel to all nations, including those Christians who have not yet found what they seek, namely the Eucharist.
It can be dangerously easy to go to Mass and receive the Eucharist without a moment’s thought about the reality that you’re experiencing, but that is truly a shame. Even just a simple reminder to yourself as you process up to receive the Blessed Sacrament can be sufficient to not only remind you that you’re about to receive God within you. This is the absolute closeness that you crave that nothing else can offer. Cherish it.
A Rich Spiritual Life
What does it mean to have a rich spiritual life? What would your day need to look like in order to achieve that life? We have daily needs in our spiritual life that need to be met in order for us to keep making forward progress and in order for us to live truly free.
I’ve written many times on the topics of sin, temptation, and reconciliation. The theme of sin in our lives is one that we all share. We’re all in the struggle and the struggle is real. The more we resist sin, at least initially, the more challenging overcoming temptation is. There’s pushback, there’s relapse, and there’s getting back up.
I think that many of us, when working on amending our lives, fail to realize just how big of an impact our daily prayer routine and spiritual habits play in our success. The more time we devote to prayer and turning our thoughts back to God, the more resilient we are to temptation. The less we sin, the more free we are. The less we sin, the more we realize just how trapped our sin was making us.
As with all other aspects of our lives, success comes through integration. A rich spiritual life encompasses all forms of prayer at regular intervals throughout the day. It may include the Mass, the Rosary, the Divine Mercy Chaplet, or any number of devotionals. It may include time reading the Bible, meditating, using the Magnificat, or any other spiritual reading. It should include the more informal conversation with God. A combination of all of these types of prayer make up a rich daily spiritual life.
The key to success is not quantity or duration, but rather frequency. Small doses throughout the day help to maintain focus. Small interactions with prayer lead to increased clarity and awareness. When temptation comes, and it always does, you’ll be less likely to fall for it without a fight. Since your prayer routine has you engaged in your thoughts and your work, you’ll reason through the temptation and be able to dismiss it for what it truly is. You’ll be able to logically discern where engaging with that temptation will end up and whether or not it’s something that you truly want to do.
I believe that the most important part of a rich spiritual life is constant change. As you grow closer to God, you’ll change. You will become a new person, more unique than you were before. In the spirit of that constant change, your daily prayer routine should change with you. There will be times when you’re really into a particular type of prayer and other times when you’re not. If your prayer routine doesn’t change, you’ll become bored and more likely to abandon the pursuit of holiness. Change keeps things new, fresh, exciting, and suited to where you are in life.
A rich spiritual life is necessary not only to be the best person that you can be, but in order to be truly free. By engaging in prayer regularly throughout the day, in varied forms, you’ll live your live more alive and engaged with your day than before and be better prepared to reject Satan, and all of his works, and all of his empty promises.
The Sky Rarely Falls
People have been predicting the end of the United States and the collapse of the dollar since the very beginning of our Nation. There are plenty of threats and things to fear out there, but the sky rarely falls. If you find yourself living in constant fear of the economic or political collapse of your society, then you’ve placed your trust in the wrong god.
None of us can know what’s going to happen in the future, and we’ve all experienced economic, political, and social unrest. The fact remains that things always recover. Our emotions can be so easily manipulated by the media that we consume–it’s important for us to keep our priorities straight. We trust in God to provide for us, we act with common sense, and we build our homes on solid foundations.
I, too, find myself starting to worry when things falter economically, but that fear is more about my lack of security than anything else. I then take that fear and direct it towards sound financial decision making that sets my family on solid ground. While things may be bad today, when looking at the big picture, this is just yet another blip. If I save, eliminate debt, and plan for the future, I won’t be at the mercy of the market.
I don’t fret about political elections because there’s no way of knowing what’s going to happen. In the ten months between now and election day, so much could happen. Worrying about the outcome does absolutely nothing. Instead I research the candidates and vote when the polls are open.
Many claim the sky is falling, but they are shown to be silly when the next day, the sky is still where it ought to be. Place your faith, and trust, in God. Make wise decisions and focus your creative energies on those things that will improve your life and the lives of those around you.
The Daily Struggle for Goodness
When you’re trying to live a better life, a holier life, don’t expect evil to just roll over and take it. The struggle between God and the Devil is a zero sum game. For every person that lives a holy life, there’s that much less capacity for evil in the world. When seeking renewal or change, be prepared for the onslaught.
Evil wants power, absolute control, and absolute corruption. Like a disease, evil from one person can spread to another. A person who’s fallen victim to sin can easily pull someone else into sin with them. In the same way, holiness in one person can spread to another.
Being tempted isn’t a bad thing. In fact, sometimes it can be a sign that you’re doing the right thing. That doesn’t make it easier to endure, but it does give you more leverage to resist. The more momentum you have in your quest for holiness, the more successful you’ll be. We can’t reasonably expect for temptation to go away, but we can expect it to subside. Like lifting weights, the more frequently we resist temptation, the stronger we become.
Sin and evil are a fact of life, but participating in them doesn’t have to be. Through the Sacraments, grace, prayer, and diligence, you can live a holy life. Millions of Saints have done just that, so why not be the next one?
Turning Your Thoughts Back to God
We have a lot of mentally idle time. Folding laundry, cleaning the kitchen, running errands, and even doing work that requires low levels of mental resources, and we oftentimes fill those spaces with day dreams, list making, or anxiety. What if instead, we took those times and turned our thoughts back to God?
I think there’s a lot of benefit in using our downtime to thinking about the things of God. Too often we’re tempted to focus on the negative, and so spending our resources and energies on contemplating good things can help us have brighter days. The more time you spend thinking about the things of God, the happier you’ll be, the more energy you’ll have, and the less anxiety you’ll experience.
What kinds of things should you ponder while thinking about the things of God? Thinking about how generous God has been towards you, how amazing the Sacraments are, and the blessings He’s given you can be a tremendous boost to your day. You could also spend the time thinking about ways in which things seemed to work out poorly in the moment, but in hindsight you can see how they were for the best. Of course, you could also have a simple dialogue with God about your thoughts, ideas, and emotions.
I find that contemplating the mind of God helps me to remain grounded. There are many things that impact my attitude on a daily basis, and by keeping my perspective focused upwards, I’m able to remain better grounded. That means less time being impatient or frustrated, and more time being joyful and energized.
Spend less time focusing on the negative and more time focusing on the things of God. You’ll be glad you did.
Hell Isn’t For Me
While I was in Drivers Ed, I learned a valuable lesson. Where your eyes go, the car goes. We’re playing the long game here on Earth. In the routine of our daily lives, thinking about where we’ll be in the life after this one can be easily overlooked. Yet, at the same time, our actions and choices within our daily routine point to where we’re oriented. I’ve never once been happy as a result of committing a sin, yet sometimes I find myself in a cycle of decisions leading me further away from the life that God has planned for me.
The design of the human mind is intriguing. Although intellectually we can grasp that sin is harmful and doesn’t lead to happiness, we still choose it on a regular basis. There are many theological explanations, but isn’t it interesting in and of itself that the human mind, without morals or guidance, will tend toward making decisions based on impulsive wants.
The challenge of the Christian life is to overcome this self-centeredness. The challenge is to respond with love when your wife is annoying you, to respond with love when you’re tired but your children need something from you, and to respond with love when another person deeply offends you.
Heaven is real, and so is Hell. When standing in the Confession line it’s easy to say where we want to end up. Yet, in the moment, when we’re out in the world confronted by temptation, our decision making process can become much more cloudy.
Perhaps the greatest irony is that in order for us to have true happiness, we have to reject things that present themselves as something good or beneficial for us. Sin always dresses itself in the robes of goodness, yet when unmasked its true destruction is revealed. By saying no to sin and denying ourself a passing pleasure, we choose to embrace and accept the lasting happiness that following God’s Will brings.
In the routine of our daily lives, we need to do things that keep us oriented to our destination of choice. Like our eyes in the car, if we look towards Hell, we’ll end up there. But if we keep our eyes fixed on the eternal good, on the fruits of Heaven, we’ll surely end up there, right where we belong.