Career
Balance
I left the workforce in the fall of 2014 to stay home and take care of Benedict. Alison was just beginning her residency, and her monthly schedule change was not conducive to parenting and both parents working. Fast-forward eight years, I’m still an at-home dad, but now with four children and homeschooling two of them. I’m running my own business and busier than ever. Things are nearing a breaking point.
A strange thing happened last fall. My buddy called and asked if I’d be willing to help him professionally. I’ve spent my work time over the past several years writing and publishing, with the occasional web design client. I liked the idea of doing more administrative/operations activities, and thought it would be a good fit. A few months later, a friend from Church called me out of the blue and asked me to come in and start helping him. Shortly after that, another friend asked me to help with their publishing needs.
I love working, and running my own business. My days are stuffed with tasks, to-dos, school, and work, but I’m also feeling incredibly fulfilled. I see progress in my professional life and progress in my children, but as a result, my health has fallen by the wayside.
Balance is something that we all seek, but it’s as elusive as ever in our always-on world. Identify those must do things that leave you feeling complete at the end of the day, and make sure they get done every day. Then, fill in the spaces with your other responsibilities.
Pause
I’m back from summer vacation, a whole week experiencing Northern Michigan. It was a great reprieve from the heat, and a chance to go to places that I’ve never been to before.
When I clocked out last week, I made the intentional choice to step away from my work. I didn’t check my email while I was away, or shoe-horn in any work related tasks. I did use the downtime to get some other priorities checked off my list.
It was not easy at first, and I knew I was storing up a massive backlog when I returned. But my choice was simple: vacation means vacation. Permission to not think about work, do work, or worry about work. I was free to be in the moment, say yes to most activities, and to recharge my batteries.
Now that I’m back, I’m back. Although I’m now overrun with projects, emails, and to-dos, I’m delighted that I gave myself the gift of a pause.
Personal Pride
My neighbors love to sit outside and talk to one another. The other day, I was chatting with one of them, and he was telling me about his daughter who is just about to get her drivers license. He told me about how she wants a car, but how it has to be fancy and new. He then shared a story with me about his first car, a truck, that he paid off only to have it totaled shortly thereafter. In further reflecting on this gentleman’s predicament with his daughter, I thought about personal pride and how it relates to our lives.
Today, everyone wants to be different. We want to be individuals and we want the world to know it. Our insecurity about being lost or forgotten in the ocean of life leads some to make some pretty odd changes to their physical appearance. We forget that we’re individuals by the nature of our being. Looking out across the landscape of trends, I think one way to really show off your individualism is to not do something shocking, but rather to develop a true sense of personal pride.
We are, in effect, our own brand. The way we present ourselves, the activities that we partake in, the way we care for our things, the way that we interact with others, and the quality of work that we do all make up this brand. Instead of focusing on how we can shock the world and be memorable, we should focus on how we can improve our personal brand through personal pride.
Personal pride is an attribute that guides all of one’s decisions. It’s making choices that reflect an interior disposition of care and intentionality. It causes us to dress nicely and appropriately in public and to decide to wash our cars and mow our lawn on a regular basis. It drives us to shave regularly or to manicure our beard appropriately and it motivates us to exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet. In sum, personal pride is that driving force which causes us to take care of ourselves.
Interestingly, the quality of work that we do can also be informed by our sense of personal pride. No one truly wants to be known as capable of only shoddy work, and so we work hard to complete tasks to the best of our ability. We want to be praised by management and respected by our peers and doing great work is a surefire way of achieving that goal. If we do poor work, we’ll eventually be associated with poor quality. Yet, if we have personal pride, we’ll endeavor to do the best work that we can.
In many ways, I think that personal pride is closely related to feelings of self-worth. When we feel good, we take care of ourselves. Helping our children to develop a healthy sense of self-worth and to then translate that into a commitment to developing personal pride is one of our biggest jobs as parents. There are so many forces trying to steal our kid’s self-esteem that it’s up to us to help them to see reality. They are an individual, they are loved, and they have worth.
I believe that having a strong sense of personal pride will drive an individual to higher levels of satisfaction and personal growth. When we care enough to take care of ourselves, our property, and our tasks, we thrive where we’re planted. Make sure that your children know that they are loved and are cultivating a strong sense of personal pride.
Enough Breaks Already
It’s really easy to cut yourself too much slack. You laud praises on yourself for a good week’s worth of work and award yourself a day off. That day off turns into two, and the snowball continues. Rest is not a reward, it’s a necessary part of work. Rest is rejuvenating, it restores creative capacity, and it promotes health. Too much rest is sloth, laziness, and leads to a sedentary lifestyle. In order to rest, there must be work.
Have a rest day once a week isn’t just a good idea, it’s recommended. God rested on the 7th day and we even have an entire commandment dedicated to the principle of rest. The problem with taking too many breaks is that your work log backs up, leaving things undone. All of that work scheduled properly is manageable, but having neglected it for too long, we feel overwhelmed. The house is a disaster and, while you want it to be clean, you feel it’s too daunting to take on, so you “rest.”
You can only have a restful Sunday by having everything in its place. The chores are done, all other tasks are scheduled and planned, and you can have the clarity of mind to do whatever you wish. Family time, a nap, a movie, running around outside are all within the realm of possibilities. While you enjoy these great pursuits, your mind won’t be preoccupied with all of the things you’ve left undone because you’re armed with the knowledge that you put in the time and all is arranged.
Excessive breaks are nothing more than procrastination, and there’s always a reason why. It may be a lack of clarity, an overly aggressive schedule, or just plain reluctance. We all have things that hold us back and identifying the pain point is the first step to resolution. When you’re tempted to neglect your work, figure out what’s motivating you and make corrections. If you’re afraid to make a call, push through. If you’re lacking clarity, seek it out. If you’ve over scheduled, give yourself permission to move some things around within a reasonable period of time.
Rest isn’t earned, it’s a gift freely given. Yet, it’s a gift that we can only be free to receive if we’ve put in the work. Have a plan, work the plan, and enjoy the fruits of true rest, not tentative procrastination.
Keeping Priorities Straight
If you feel guilty spending time with your family instead of working, you need to adjust your priorities.
Persistence Wins
If you work long enough at something, you’ll see results and win. Persistence is the most helpful attribute that you can have when you’re pushing for a goal of any kind. The diligent always prosper.
In order to win, you have to combine persistence and personal conviction. The long game is filled with challenges. You face not only routine setbacks, but fatigue. That’s why the only goals that people achieve are ones that they set for themselves.
At my former employer, at one year end review, I was informed that I was one of 12 team members in the State that met my goals in a particular year. The reason? We were given our goals. There was little personal conviction amongst the staff because they had no input on how realistic the goals were. So, when the email when out with everyone’s goals attached, we were already starting from a deficit because we didn’t believe that it was possible.
Persistence helps you blast through setbacks. It not only reminds you of what you’re doing, but why you’re doing it. That “why” will help you to overcome adversity of any kind and hit your goals.
The University of Scranton says that only 8% of people will achieve their New Years Resolutions. What do all of those people have in common? They combined persistence with personal conviction and blew it up.
Try New Things in Your Career
The New Year presents many interesting possibilities. You have a blank canvas of twelve months to go out and do something new, unique, challenging, and interesting. While many of us tend to think more about personal goals or dreams, I’d encourage you to consider your career as well.
Regardless of how long you’ve been at a particular job, there’s always something new for you to try. You’ll likely be sitting down for your annual review in the coming weeks, and when you do, I’d be willing to bet the conversation will include your vision for the future. What things do you want to try within the scope of your job, team, division, and company?
There are plenty of challenges for you to take on professionally, but what is one that could be of benefit to both you and your company? Always be willing to try new things at work because you never know what opportunities they’ll create. It could prepare you for that next promotion or show you what direction to not take with your career.
Trying new things in your career raises your profile, grows your skill set, positions you for something better and just might even earn you a promotion. The adventure of something new might even break up the monotony of your day, show you a brighter future, or it may even show you that you need to rethink your career as a whole.
Employers love bright, bold, and brave employees. Be a standout by actively seeking for ways to expand your career and skill set within your company. By this time next year, you just might be surprised at how big of an impact this one decision has made.
Keep in Touch
I think that we have a tendency to discount work friendships. Work is not primarily a place to go to make new friends, but in the course of spending 40 hours a week together, you’re bound to forge some new relationships. I think that we discount these friendships because they quickly fade when someone leaves the company. We need to change this.
In the new economy of frequent job changes and endless freelance opportunities, we spend more of our time switching jobs than staying in them. That results in us having a much larger number of coworkers than ever before. This is great because we get the chance to learn from a much broader group of people. It also means that we are more fickle in our relationships.
The buzzword of today is “network.” Your network is who you know and it’s likely where your next job will come from. The problem with our new understanding of a network is that we’re selfish. We want to leverage our network to get something for ourselves, but are put off when others try to leverage us for the same purpose.
Your network is a group of people with whom you have a relationship. You have more control over who’s in your network than you might think. That’s because you ultimately decide who makes the cut. Your network includes supervisors, coworkers, people that you’ve worked on projects with, and even direct reports. It will also include people that you know socially who work at other companies or run their own. Your network will consist of individuals who know you, your work style, and your work ethic.
What does this have to do with keeping in touch? When you or someone in your network leaves a job, don’t let that be the last point of contact that you have with them. It’s a great idea to keep in touch with them from time to time. I recently had lunch with someone who I haven’t worked with for over three years. My boss from that same time period and I still keep in touch on a monthly basis. These points of contact are great not because we’re trying to get ahead, but because we’re sustaining the relationships that we built while working together.
Constantly leveraging your network for your own objectives is a bad game plan and it often just comes off as you being a jerk. Keeping in touch with former work colleagues socially for the purpose of building relationships is a great idea. In a world where we’re forgetting how to forge human bonds, remember that people help people.
Take A Break
The biggest downside to being self-employed is that there’s no paid vacation. When I don’t work, I don’t get paid. This creates a dramatic tension that leaves me feeling guilty when I’m not working the hours that I need to be. Yet, intellectually, it’s completely unrealistic to expect full employment and full hours, 52 weeks a year. Life isn’t about money, but money is certainly important. Set goals, work hard, but don’t exhaust yourself and lose everything.
Setting realistic goals give you clarity. During work hours, you know what to work on and what you’re working towards. Goals should be broad enough to offer you several avenues to success, but defined enough so that you aren’t floating out in space. When you have an understanding of where you’re going, you can better plan your days.
Work hard during work hours. Too many people are lazy and fritter away precious time that could be used knocking out tasks and finishing projects. Then, when deadlines loom, they struggle to catch up. The key to achieving a work-life balance is to use each time appropriately. Use work time to accomplish work-related tasks and use family time for family activities only.
When you have clear direction and work diligently during work hours, you can give yourself permission to take a break. You understand the value of rest and when you’ve done all that you can during the week, you can relax on the weekend knowing that all is taken care of. Even more importantly, when you work hard, you can take guilt and work free vacations.
Rest is as important to your career your as work is. By using down time to restore your creative energies, you can do your best work when you’re on the clock.
Disengage This Holiday Season
I have a challenge for you this Thanksgiving and Christmas: disengage.
I can see it now. You’re sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner, the family is gathered around, the cousins are at the kids table having a great time, and someone is sitting at the table on their phone. Maybe it’s you!
Since I’m freelance, I only get paid for when I’m working. That means when I don’t work, I earn $0/hour. Thanksgiving and Christmas fall on weekdays, which means that I’m going to lose work hours. Yet, despite this “loss,” I need to recognize that there are more important things. Four missed work days in the course of two months isn’t going to kill me.
The holiday season is a chance for families to gather and I’d hate to have you waste it distracted. Give yourself permission to disengage from work. Heck, just disengage. Limit your screen time and enjoy the original face time.
Rest is good for you and the end of the year provides some golden opportunities to take advantage. Don’t blow it.