August 05, 2013
Filed In: Career
One of the major challenges for any newly married couple is how to balance two very full schedules.
When you first are married, you will probably start at $0. Both of you are most likely working very hard to put your new life together.
If you are married at a younger age, both spouses are probably working hard on their careers.
There is a temptation to be a workaholic, or to focus on careerism. You want to perform well at work so that you can increase your family’s income. That is noble, but not when it comes at the cost of your marriage.
Clear and open communication is the key to solving this problem. You both need to understand each other’s point of view and plans for the future.
Will one of you stay home and raise the children? Who has the greatest capacity for supporting the family? If one of you gets a promotion that hinges on your family moving, what criteria will you use to determine if that is the right move for your family?
The whole issue comes down to who’s career is the priority? It is very likely, if not inevitable, that there will come a point where you both will have to make a hard decision. A choice to advance one career may inherently negatively effect the other. It is not a bad thing, but a reality when both spouses are working.
There is nothing wrong with work. However, if you want to avoid fights in your young marriage, take time to discuss this delicate issue in your pre-marriage counseling. Work out a rough sketch of where you think you’re both headed.
Make as much of the decision ahead of time so that you already have a plan of action in place.
Remember, above all, that work is a holy endeavor.